How to divorce if we never lived together ?

[thebirdman 1]

We have been married in California more than a year ago, but never lived together, I come visit her from time to time, but we do talk to each other every day via internet (with voice, video and texting)

Things just doesn't work out for us, we always argue about everything, never agreed on anything. For the past 3 years, we have tried to tolerate each other even compromising own interests to try to make things work. We wanted to keep this relationship up as long as possible so that I can move there and give it a real chance.

She's really sweet and caring, but at the same time too demanding and never wrong. I loved her so much, she was my first love. May be it's the long distance relationship that i have been living in my own illusion of how she should be, but there's always hints here and there tells me she has a lot of problems that I am not aware of. She always tell me that's how girls are, how American women are and that she's the most patient one among her friends, the problem is that she always seem to try make those who around her feel comfortable, I don't have a problem with that, but the problem is she wants those around her treat her the same way she treats them, including me. Even when we were on the net, if I don't pay attention to her for 2 sec she would be blaming me, arguing none stop. Lately I even tried to ignore her by staying away from the computer and do some other things instead.

I have sent the nvc an email to cancel the application, what should the next step be ? If I want to get a divorce, where should I go to, we don't have any properties together, only a joint account which doesn't have much money into, it should be simple, if I don't want to hire a lawyer should there be form to fill up or something ? I have checked some website of the cali gov, they require both party to be resident of cali to file divorce...

Short pain for long term gain, once we really lived together I may very well end up shooting myself in the head one day.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Whatever site you read about divorce in California was wrong. Only one of you (either one) has to be a resident of California (for six months) and a resident of the county where you will file for the divorce (for 3 months).

Here is the Official California Courts self-help site for divorce:

http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/family/divorce/

If the divorce is straightforward and uncontested (meaning both of you agree on the terms) then you can probably qualify for a summary dissolution. No lawyers or judges are involved. You just fill out and file some forms. The fees will be quite reasonable.

http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/family/divorce/qualify.htm

[thebirdman 1]

do I need to get a divorce in california ? she bascially doesn't give a #### about divorce. Can I hire a lawyer where I live and just mail her the paper to sign ?

[justashooter 430]

do I need to get a divorce in california ? she bascially doesn't give a #### about divorce. Can I hire a lawyer where I live and just mail her the paper to sign ?

you can file for divorce in your home state. see a local lawyer.

[Darnell 8,478]

ya, can file for divorce in Canada . Should look into 'how to do that', asap.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

do I need to get a divorce in california ? she bascially doesn't give a #### about divorce. Can I hire a lawyer where I live and just mail her the paper to sign ?

You can file for a divorce anywhere you are legally eligible to file. I know zip about divorce law in Canada, but I presume you at least have some idea how it works. If you plan to file in Canada then you could certainly hire a lawyer in Canada and just mail her the papers, if it can be done that way in Canada. If you plan to divorce in California then skip the lawyer - a Canadian lawyer isn't likely to know much about California family law. You can still download the forms from the website, fill them out yourself, and send them to your wife to sign.

[UglyNerdManVJ 7]

its just my opinion that you two are apart and that makes the marriage unbearable. because of where my wife chose to live there was a constant threat of violence against me from her family and friends because she would defame me. regardless i love/loved my wife. i lived elsewhere, while she was away from me and we communicate phone internet she was mean and unbearable. in person she was nicer and was more loving.

being apart changes people and from my experience in women especially changes their personality. theyre more brave to say things from a distance than in person.

you have to realize being apart drives people apart. Before you Divorce you should commit to spending time with eachother in person for a few days.

even if you think its a headache.

if it really wont work then it wont work! but try at least before you divorce.