Just an update

[ms_jinga_lala 0]

Well things have been stressful to say the least. Today marks 120 days since the USCIS finally decided to log my case into the computer. I called them and requested them to notify me of action and status of the case only to find that I have to allow them 45 days to get back to me. WTH. Relationship wise things have been a bit strained due to other things getting in our way in addition to the visa. I'm about ready to throw in the towel, sell all my ####### and move to India because this is all just bs lol....I'm really tired of it at this point. I know we all have felt this way at more than one point in the process.

I've decided to contact a lawyer. I got her number from some Indian friends here who have used her and say she is really good. I will see. So far I don't think she deals with K-1's too often because she already suggested I go get married and then reapply. But the thing is, that would set me back even farther. If I go over there to get married I'm just not coming home lol. Ugh....when will it end

[RyannTanya 2]

I hear you. It must be very upsetting. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you will get your approval soon.

[ELW 5]

Thanks for the update! My opinion is: you both need to get married and apply again, my guess it is useless to further pursue the old, rejected application. Either you go to India to get married or if he can get a visa to some neutral country (say, Singapore), you can marry there. You would need to go over the CR1 rules to see what is required regarding marriage certificates. Also, time-wise a new application would be faster than going on years like this, trying to fight a battle of higher govt forces, no matter how wrong they are!

It wouldn't be so bad living in India - I lived there for 21 years and we are planning on returning for good in a few years! I would take the simple life there any day, to the endless complications and expenses here.

Whatever you decide, know that you have many good thoughts and prayers supporting you!

[Amit-N-Melody 11]

Thanks for the update... I totally agree with ELW, I would go there and get married and then file again, if you choose to not come back home that would be ok, you could do the DCF if you live there more than 6 months, it isnt suppose to take as long... I am not really sure on the process though...

My Husband and I are also planning on only living here in the states for about 10 years and then permantely living in India...

Goodluck in what ever you decide is the best for you

[Deep2009 18]

I am all for, go back and get married.

It is not worth it to follow and waste money on a rejected case.

[trinket 30]

Thanks for the update! My opinion is: you both need to get married and apply again, my guess it is useless to further pursue the old, rejected application. Either you go to India to get married or if he can get a visa to some neutral country (say, Singapore), you can marry there. You would need to go over the CR1 rules to see what is required regarding marriage certificates. Also, time-wise a new application would be faster than going on years like this, trying to fight a battle of higher govt forces, no matter how wrong they are!

It wouldn't be so bad living in India - I lived there for 21 years and we are planning on returning for good in a few years! I would take the simple life there any day, to the endless complications and expenses here.

Whatever you decide, know that you have many good thoughts and prayers supporting you!

I agree with ELW. It is useless to pursue K-1. Most likely after 4 month time period they are going to say the case has been expired.

And please don't give up. Me and hubby lived this distance for 4 long years. Without going into details, all I have to say is -- Nothing worth having comes easy.

I wish you all the courage you and your SO needs to fight this obstacle

[DanielParul 50]

I agree woth ELW. Get married and apply for CR1. Don't waste anymore time trying to get any help on this one. Good Luck!

[ms_jinga_lala 0]

I can't afford to refile right now and getting to India is also going to pose a major challenge sine I'm dealing with my son's medical issues. I'm just missing too much work to save enough money to go and keep all the expenses paid here while I'm gone. I'm not quite sure how I could stay there the required 31 days to get married either because that would pretty much mean quitting my job. It's hard enough to get a week off much less 5 weeks (counting travel). Ugh...I'm still hoping that this will get reapproved and then I will do whatever it takes to be at that Embassy this time. And the lawyer is more about filing for consular misconduct because there isn't much else she can help us with.

[sara..... 371]

I can't afford to refile right now and getting to India is also going to pose a major challenge sine I'm dealing with my son's medical issues. I'm just missing too much work to save enough money to go and keep all the expenses paid here while I'm gone. I'm not quite sure how I could stay there the required 31 days to get married either because that would pretty much mean quitting my job. It's hard enough to get a week off much less 5 weeks (counting travel). Ugh...I'm still hoping that this will get reapproved and then I will do whatever it takes to be at that Embassy this time. And the lawyer is more about filing for consular misconduct because there isn't much else she can help us with.

Im sorry i hope that everything turns out right for you i will keep praying for you

sara

[Amit-N-Melody 11]

I can't afford to refile right now and getting to India is also going to pose a major challenge sine I'm dealing with my son's medical issues.

As a single mother of 3 girls I can understand the finacial strain that kids put on you, but dont you think having your spouse with you is worth the sacrifice?

I'm just missing too much work to save enough money to go and keep all the expenses paid here while I'm gone.

I totally agree that it is hard to save money <when you have kids and only 1 income> but you know how I was able to manage, I used my income tax return to by my plane ticket and to pay my bills while I was gone. I stayed with his family and cooked at home while there so it didnt cost me any out of pocket money. If there is a will dear ther IS A WAY!

I'm not quite sure how I could stay there the required 31 days to get married either because that would pretty much mean quitting my job.\Ppl take off for there marriage all the time, I am sure if you went to your employer and told them that you needed some time to get married that they would allow you, and if not then you use the law on them and file a Family leave It's hard enough to get a week off much less 5 weeks (counting travel). This is not true.. I am not sure who you have been talking too. You do not have to stay there 5 weeks. The only way you would have to do this is if you were going to have a court marriage.. But in my opinion that would be stupid because you would miss out on the wonderful rich culture and so would he. You can have a religious ceremony and then file your marriage with your local marriage registar and have a certificate within a week. My husband arranged the whole wedding.. he was sooo adorable at this time... Your man could do everything before you came <really it would be his mom and sis's if he has anything> and then you could plan on spending like 1 week.. I personally would say try for 2 weeks, but 1 week can do it if you arrange everything before you go... My HUGE wedding only cost around $700.. I was totally shocked!! Ugh...I'm still hoping that this will get reapproved and then I will do whatever it takes to be at that Embassy this time. And the lawyer is more about filing for consular misconduct because there isn't much else she can help us with.

I am going to say something here and my intention is not to offend you, It sounds like you are making excuses. I have read several of your post and there has been some excellent advice from alot of different ppl. This is spelled out in black and white and what you have to decided is.. Is it worth it to you to sacrifice your time and money?How bad do you want him? How can you breathe without him... I unfortunately cannot without my husband.. he if worth EVERY sacrifice

Edited July 11, 2010 by Amit-N-Melody

[ms_jinga_lala 0]

Well, without trying to air all my struggles this year.....

I absolutely think it's worth it if you can have your spouse with you. But how can I get him here? As it stands my income is down to $800 a month to raise my 3 kids on and I can't get public assistance because on paper they think I make significantly more.

As for my job they only allow personal leave for 30 days at a time and after that you have to resign and reapply. The company contracts for clients where information and the job change daily so they even tell you that they don't expect you to be capable of doing your job if gone longer than that and they send you back to square one (training) when and if they rehire you. I'm not making excuses, this is unfortunately my reality. I have no money, I have nothing left to sell because I've already sold it all. That's also why I've said that I'm tempted to just say screw all of this and move to India with him and just be done.

I'm definitely going to check into the getting married then registering that you mentioned because I had been previously advised here and he had a lawyer there tell him that I needed to be in the country with an address to provide the registrar there for 31 days while our information was posted on a board for anyone to be able to dispute. Maybe I read it wrong when it was written on here to me by an Indian citizen, which I'm gladly hoping I did because maybe then I can find a way through this.

This is not an issue of his worth at all - it's about trying to balance life with funds I don't have. I've invested quite a bit of money into this relationship already, it's just that the money has run out. I have no problem sacrificing. But facing all this and trying to think about starting over with $1200 plane tickets, $700 for a wedding, $500 for filing fees (or more with the new fee schedule coming out) and not knowing when I will even be able to start all of that is worse than holding onto the shred of hope that this may still go through.

Please don't judge me and my intentions without knowing what I'm going through. I'm just trying not to post all my personal information here for the world to slam me harder than I'm already getting slammed. I am considering all the options and I just can't find a way to make any of them work.

[Amit-N-Melody 11]

Well, without trying to air all my struggles this year.....

I absolutely think it's worth it if you can have your spouse with you. But how can I get him here? As it stands my income is down to $800 a month to raise my 3 kids on and I can't get public assistance because on paper they think I make significantly more.

I understand your struggles, I was trying to tell you that I was also a mother of three... Not that it really matters but the job that I had when I married my husband.. well they fired me about 3 months after that, because I was married to an indian... So, I know how terrifing it is to have to start over at square one.

As for my job they only allow personal leave for 30 days at a time and after that you have to resign and reapply. The company contracts for clients where information and the job change daily so they even tell you that they don't expect you to be capable of doing your job if gone longer than that and they send you back to square one (training) when and if they rehire you. I'm not making excuses, this is unfortunately my reality. I have no money, I have nothing left to sell because I've already sold it all. That's also why I've said that I'm tempted to just say screw all of this and move to India with him and just be done.

I'm definitely going to check into the getting married then registering that you mentioned because I had been previously advised here and he had a lawyer there tell him that I needed to be in the country with an address to provide the registrar there for 31 days while our information was posted on a board for anyone to be able to dispute. Maybe I read it wrong when it was written on here to me by an Indian citizen, which I'm gladly hoping I did because maybe then I can find a way through this.Yea check into it, I am telling you that I flew to India last July 12 and we were married on July 25th and we had our marriage registered with our local marriage registar and the certificate was picked up on the July 29th... I used this marriage certificate at USCIS, NVC and at the interview and I did NOT have any issues with it. And the only reason it even took that long was because we were preoccuppied in other things

This is not an issue of his worth at all - it's about trying to balance life with funds I don't have. I've invested quite a bit of money into this relationship already, it's just that the money has run, out. I have no problem sacrificing. But facing all this and trying to think about starting over with $1200 plane tickets, $700 for a wedding, $500 for filing fees (or more with the new fee schedule coming out) and not knowing when I will even be able to start all of that is worse than holding onto the shred of hope that this may still go through.I totally agree with you, it seems unreasonable.. this is why I pointed out to you that I used my income tax return, I know that with 3 kids I recieved a little over $8,000... and even if yours was half that amount then there you go, what you would have to do is start planning now, Maybe for March... get everything arranged verbally, plan on going then... your job should of rolled over to a new year then, plan to stay for 2 weeks, Marry him come home, file again <you can do this because you would alotted the money from the income tax return> and then vola You can spend Christmas 2011 together

Please don't judge me and my intentions without knowing what I'm going through. I'm just trying not to post all my personal information here for the world to slam me harder than I'm already getting slammed. I am considering all the options and I just can't find a way to make any of them work.I am sorry if you feel I was not being conscious of your feelings, but you have asked for help and ppl are trying to help you with solutions. It seems you can knock every solution that is thrown your way.My intention was not to slam you... but maybe to wake you up... which might of been more harsh than intended, We have all gone threw #######.. hell I can make enough lemonade to last me a life time... I have worked two jobs for the last 6 months so that I would have enough money to attend my Husbands interview with him.. All I am saying to you is this... If there is a will ther is a way...