Should I do annulment or divorce?

[Rinaprincess 0]

Hi guys!

I am in a tough situation and need your advice. MY husband came almost a year ago thru K1. Now he got two year of green card. after he came for only couple months, he goes live with his family in another state so he can go to school there since they accept his degree from his country. So i guess he is now a resident there since he has a driver license and everything. What I hate is that when I was pregnant he came only once to see me. When I gave birth, he is only stay for a month and he left. I asked him to take a least 1 or two semester from school to stay with me and baby but he doesn't even bother. He keep saying he will take a few more classes then transfter back here where i lived. I don't understand what kind of man he is? I don't know if i should trust him? I want him to come here and take school here to be with me and the baby. I was thinking i should divorce him since he doesn't care about helping raising his own child. if i want to divorce him, how do i go about it? or should i wait until two year and not filed paperwork? my marriage is not a year yet, can i do annulment?

Another issue i am afraid is that he could get a lawyer saying that i don't treat him right that why he move to lived with his family in another state.

But the fact is a husband and a wife should lived together right? since we lived separate from each other, i feel our relationship is getting worse.

The fact that he lived away from me is RED FlAG already, he does not care. So i don't know what to do, i am so stress out. Please, you guys help out!

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I can't answer the relationship question. You'll have to make up your own mind about that.

It's very unlikely you can get an annulment. An annulment can usually only be granted for very specific reasons, such as if the marriage was never consummated (you have a child together, so that point is moot), or if the marriage was not legally valid (one of you was too young to marry at the time, or you are close blood relatives, or one of you has a mental impairment, etc.).

How easy or difficult it will be to divorce him depends on the laws of your state. Consult with a family law attorney.

I'm not sure why you think he would accuse you of mistreating him, unless you think he'll use this as a basis to remove conditions and get a 10 year green card. A VAWA claim requires evidence. Hiring a lawyer is not going to produce this evidence for him. If you intend to divorce him, and even think there is a remote possibility he will accuse you of abuse, then you must have no further direct contact with him. He'll need police reports and the like in order to substantiate his abuse claim, and he can't get those if you don't have any direct contact with him.

A VAWA claim also requires proof that the marriage was entered into in good faith. Since he's lived apart from you for nearly the entire marriage, he would need to demonstrate that the abuse occurred before he moved away in order for USCIS to accept that the abuse was the reason for the separation.

He could also self-petition for removal of conditions based on the divorce, but he would still need evidence that the marriage was entered into in good faith. This is going to be difficult to prove, given the very limited time you have actually lived together.

If you decide that the marriage must end, then hire a family attorney and proceed with the divorce.

[rika60607 215]

I asked him to take a least 1 or two semester from school to stay with me and baby but he doesn't even bother. He keep saying he will take a few more classes then transfter back here where i lived. I don't understand what kind of man he is?

He is a man who takes his education seriously and thinks that taking care of babies is woman's job.

I don't know if i should trust him?

Never trust anyone!

I want him to come here and take school here to be with me and the baby.

I was thinking i should divorce him since he doesn't care about helping raising his own child.

He is promising to give you what you want. You could wait and see if he returns or you could move to where he lives.

if i want to divorce him, how do i go about it?

google your state divorce rules

or should i wait until two year and not filed paperwork?

that will likely not work, if you think to get him deported

my marriage is not a year yet, can i do annulment?

Not likely, conditions for annulment are very specific.

Another issue i am afraid is that he could get a lawyer saying that i don't treat him right that why he move to lived with his family in another state.

Why are you afraid of it? He can not claim abuse without evidence of abuse.

But the fact is a husband and a wife should lived together right? since we lived separate from each other, i feel our relationship is getting worse.

It is up to husband and wife. But yes, USCIS expects you two to live together. If you don't like the current situation, you can move to where he is or divorce him.

The fact that he lived away from me is RED FlAG already, he does not care.

Him living away from you does not mean he does not care. For example, you do not live with him, does it mean you do not care also? If he will not let you live with him, then yeah, RED FLAG!

[Rinaprincess 0]

thanks guys!

Was it possible if i want to deport him? should i report to the uscis that my situation could be a fraud. I want the uscis givee him some kind of warning that what he did was wrong. If he receive a uscis notice, he probably getting scare and will come back to live with me. If he come back,i will try to work thing out. But if thing not work out, it is up to the uscis.

how do i go report or deport him?

[Okalian 41]

Was it possible if i want to deport him? should i report to the uscis that my situation could be a fraud. I want the uscis givee him some kind of warning that what he did was wrong. If he receive a uscis notice, he probably getting scare and will come back to live with me. If he come back,i will try to work thing out. But if thing not work out, it is up to the uscis.

how do i go report or deport him?

As far as USCIS is concerned, they really care about how the marriage started. How it ended is totally out of their concern. Since there's a child between you guys, it's very unlikely you can prove the marriage was a fraud and was done just for the greencard. Even if you don't help him remove conditions on his greencard, he eventually can get the 10-year card on his own...

[Old Dominion 26]

Typically, USCIS will do nothing about it, unless he has become a criminal. Don't even think about relying on the government to get your revenge or scare him. I speak from current experience with a friend who has tried for one year to get her visa-fraud husband arrested and/or deported, and was told this at an InfoPass meeting just two weeks ago: her husband is not a fugitive, so they will do nothing.

You could move to be nearer him, right??

[engineer21 51]

I would say try to work things out as hard as you can first.

Don't immediately think that he is only with you for the green card.

But do try to reason with him that you two not living together is not only hurting you and your child, but will also make things hard for the removal of condition application.

Think of your child too.

I know I would have wanted my dad around

Best of luck, and take care..

[rika60607 215]

:no:

USCIS is not an enforcer of your will. If you report him as fraud, they will ask for proof (and look for evidence themselves), but... if they find anything, if you use USCIS to "scare" him into coming back to you, very soon ICE will pick him up and take him away from you and no pleas will stop them.

Don't do it unless you are sure that you want him out of your life!

You will not get him back from ICE by saying you changed your mind, this is not a reversible process!

thanks guys!

Was it possible if i want to deport him? should i report to the uscis that my situation could be a fraud. I want the uscis givee him some kind of warning that what he did was wrong. If he receive a uscis notice, he probably getting scare and will come back to live with me. If he come back,i will try to work thing out. But if thing not work out, it is up to the uscis.

how do i go report or deport him?

Edited July 8, 2010 by rika60607

[UglyNerdManVJ 7]

i don't think you should jump to divorce/deporting him or thinking so badly of your husband, He is probably putting his education first, Without an education he cannot provide for you and the baby. That may be the type of man he is.

If it is as bad as you think then it is better to have him adjust his status and get his education here. Why? Because if he has a job here then you can divorce him which could go in your favor of him paying for you once he gets a job and he has to pay child support. wrongfully or even righteously deport him and your on your own and have made enemies with his family. The amount of money he could make here is worth more unless he is working in the UK for pounds possibly.

life is alot safer when people arent hostile towards you.

Im hoping HERE is the USA.

[Rinaprincess 0]

i don't think you should jump to divorce/deporting him or thinking so badly of your husband, He is probably putting his education first, Without an education he cannot provide for you and the baby. That may be the type of man he is.

If it is as bad as you think then it is better to have him adjust his status and get his education here. Why? Because if he has a job here then you can divorce him which could go in your favor of him paying for you once he gets a job and he has to pay child support. wrongfully or even righteously deport him and your on your own and have made enemies with his family. The amount of money he could make here is worth more unless he is working in the UK for pounds possibly.

life is alot safer when people arent hostile towards you.

Im hoping HERE is the USA.

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thnks for advices, now i found out the reason he doesn't want to come back. He said life in my state is bored. He has no fun like he in states he lived now. I feel that he is abandon me and the baby. in the beginning he just want to use me so he can come here to the state. When he come here all he does is travel state to state. When i was pregnant he ask me to have an abortion which mean he does not want to take responsiblity. After he got green card he left me to lived with his family in another states saying he goes to study. Now i know his true color. He just want to have fun. When i go check his facebook he never mention about me or post my picture with him together. Is this call love? I been having enough of him. I been having so much emotion pain through out my pregnancy and now i to raised the child by myself while he has fun in another state. I heard from friend over here saying he has girl, i wasn't sure if this true.

Now, now i made a decision. i need to move on with my life.

Edited July 14, 2010 by Rinaprincess

[UglyNerdManVJ 7]

[quote name='Rinaprincess' date='14 July 2010 - 04:20 PM' timestamp='1279142417' post='40655

thnks for advices, now i found out the reason he doesn't want to come back. He said life in my state is bored. He has no fun like he in states he lived now. I feel that he is abandon me and the baby. in the beginning he just want to use me so he can come here to the state. When he come here all he does is travel state to state. When i was pregnant he ask me to have an abortion which mean he does not want to take responsiblity. After he got green card he left me to lived with his family in another states saying he goes to study. Now i know his true color. He just want to have fun. When i go check his facebook he never mention about me or post my picture with him together. Is this call love? I been having enough of him. I been having so much emotion pain through out my pregnancy and now i to raised the child by myself while he has fun in another state. I heard from friend over here saying he has girl, i wasn't sure if this true.

Now, now i made a decision. i need to move on with my life.

that is sad. You do have his child and hes living here and you are married. You are entitled for child support and to get money from him. Depending on your state's divorce laws you may be entitled to some sort of support based of abandonment or spousal neglect of some sort, You are married so thats is what it is.

I am not giving any legal advice I am just stating things that appear applicable. You should consult a familylaw/divorce attorney.

it is my opinion though that you get child support from him to help you and support your baby even if you are not together and if you have the option to make any finacial gain based of his actions through divorce that you do it. Its important to move on and also important to secure what you need for you and your baby.

i wish you the best