Oh those wild and wonderful Russian Women

[PurrSuede 0]

She can petition to remove conditions as soon as your divorce is complete. If you both had gone to marriage counseling, this helps her as well. I know that the cheating hurts, but there was nothing you could do about it. It hurts to know you have been lied to, or used. The sooner you move on with your own life and remember that it wasn't your fault, the better. Some people are not capable of being in a relationship without cheating -- so you can't be married to them.

It also dawned on me, when you mentioned "marriage counseling"... as some may know from my other threads about "Legitimate Divorce vs. Fraudulent Marriage", my ex-wife was being "coached" by some unknown benefactor, perhaps a Russian woman, perhaps a "board/forum" of RW's...

And it struck me when you said that, that she might even have been "coached" to attend marriage counseling as well... she did that, almost out of the clear blue sky, and it just dawned on me from your post that that, too, might have been her way of "manufacturing" the bona-fides of the marriage...

Of course it hurts to be lied to, or used... especially when you begin to doubt if the marriage was EVER even bona-fide to begin with, or she was just using you to get out of Russia...

In that case, the question must be asked if the marriage even existed to begin with, since if she married me under fraudulent pretenses, this never ~was~ the "love of my life", this was only someone PRETENDING to be such in order to gain an immigration benefit...

-- Dan

[slim 1,525]

Dan, you will never know.

I say don't waste your time wondering what was going on in her head, instead do what you got back here on VJ to do.... get some advice (and share some good advice and experience) and keep moving forward.

You've got the experience needed now to really get what you're looking for... GO FOR IT!!! And don't even look back!

[Satellite 1]

she had an afair with this Russian - American dude (USC) and has now moved in with him, about a week ago.

This is what I expect in more than half of the cases that end in divorce in under 3 years. The Russian lady, having sacrificed herself for the immigration benefit, then leaves the American for the language, culture, and person she really wants, which understandably is a Russian living in America. Just face it guys, a Russian lady is really limited in her ability to communicate and share her secrets to someone in English where she only knows the bare bones of sentence construction.

I have been blessed to avoid this communication problem.

But we still managed to get our AOS approved

Would she be able to marry him after getting divorced and remain in the US?

Yes. Because your AOS was granted and bona fide marriage was already proved once, she will most likely succeed in doing so again on her self petitioned I-751 after divorce.

I am just thinking that with just those bonafides to prove our marriage, and even if she able to prove her marriage to the other guy pretty well, isn''t it against the k-1 procedure that she can stay here because she came with my petition ???? At least, thats what I used to think.....

What you are referring to are the initial conditions of a K1. Someone entering on a K1 cannot adjust status through anyone but her original petitioner. There might be a carved out exception if the petitioner dies after marriage but before AOS. But in your case the conditions were followed, marriage took place, and AOS was approved.

Not only will she be able to marry this other guy and adjust status, but because your I-864 when into effect she can in theory go on welfare to collect public benefits for the rest of her life and you will be on the hook for it.

Did you really think the K1 conditions would be applied strictly entrapping your wife as if she was some bird in a cage to you for the rest of her life because the fear of losing status would attach indefinitely?

Edited September 19, 2006 by Satellite

[PurrSuede 0]

Dan, you will never know.

I say don't waste your time wondering what was going on in her head, instead do what you got back here on VJ to do.... get some advice (and share some good advice and experience) and keep moving forward.

You've got the experience needed now to really get what you're looking for... GO FOR IT!!! And don't even look back!

Slim:

While that is good advice, I had an appointment today with the USCIS were I turned over some of the documentation I received, that showed she was trying (perhaps) to manufacture documentation for her "lifting of conditions".

I haven't been posting in this forum, but in another forum about all the ####### she's done post divorce. She also suggested to me pre-divorce to "manufacture" some of the bona-fide documents she might need to lift conditions.

To protect myself it's important to me to "look back", in terms of reporting a possible fraudulent attempt at document creation (if not more) to the USCIS. As well as to report the divorce and other aspects to the USCIS as well.

It just dawned on me that this "counseling" could have been another way she'd been coached to proceed with in order to maintain the "bona fide" image of the marriage...

While this last marriage is currently being discussed with the USCIS investigative officer, it's important for me to ponder all the things she -may have done- that -may have- indicated fraud, to discuss with them.

So while I will never "know", I do need to think these things through, as today I provided the USCIS with a stack of documents, including the divorce decree. And an investigative officer will contact me before the week is out, I was told.

I hope it never happens to any of you, but make sure you COVER YOUR OWN butt if it does, because I -do- want to try this again, and I don't want my IMBRA waiver being denied or even petition itself denied because of the possibility I could have had anything to do with any falsification of documents.

-- Dan

Not only will she be able to marry this other guy and adjust status, but because your I-864 when into effect she can in theory go on welfare to collect public benefits for the rest of her life and you will be on the hook for it.

This is not correct.

There have been NO cases of any government agency ~ever~ trying to recover means-tested benefits paid(such as welfare) from the I-864. In many cases, local and/or state governments do not even ALLOW these means-tested benefits for five years after the alien's arrival in the US.

The only cases where anyone has used this document to even try and recover support have been in divorce cases where the disgruntled ex-spouse received NO support in the divorce, and there's only been a handful of these cases in nine years.

Additionally, it is NOT "the rest of her life".

-- Dan

[Satellite 1]

Not only will she be able to marry this other guy and adjust status, but because your I-864 when into effect she can in theory go on welfare to collect public benefits for the rest of her life and you will be on the hook for it.

This is not correct.

You are too critical and let me explain why. I used the word "theory" to cover the concerns you mention.

There have been NO cases of any government agency ~ever~ trying to recover means-tested benefits paid(such as welfare) from the I-864. In many cases, local and/or state governments do not even ALLOW these means-tested benefits for five years after the alien's arrival in the US.

This is true, but in "theory" and according to the I-864 the government can make an example of the petitioner. Although the possibilities are slim.

As I understand the benefits provided by states are not included in the definition of means tested benefits, so you would be off the hook on those, but I was actually referring only to the federally defined means-tested benefits.

I agree that there are few an alien living in the US for under 5 years would qualify for. But there are ways to make that alien qualify. Add an out of wed lock child to the mix and the odds become in the alien's favor.

Additionally, it is NOT "the rest of her life".

Again I re-iterate the word "theory". Look over the I-864 again on what conditions must be met in order to be removed as sponsor.

1. Alien becomes USC.

2. Alien works 40 quarters.

3. Alien dies.

4. Alien leaves country forever.

Now imagine an alien who never works, never naturalizes, never leaves the country and out lives the sponsor!

Sounds like a life commitment to me.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

I agree that there are few an alien living in the US for under 5 years would qualify for. But there are ways to make that alien qualify. Add an out of wed lock child to the mix and the odds become in the alien's favor.

google 'sponsor deeming' as an example.

Additionally, it is NOT "the rest of her life".

Again I re-iterate the word "theory". Look over the I-864 again on what conditions must be met in order to be removed as sponsor.

1. Alien becomes USC.

2. Alien works 40 quarters.

3. Alien dies.

4. Alien leaves country forever.

Now imagine an alien who never works, never naturalizes, never leaves the country and out lives the sponsor!

Sounds like a life commitment to me.

If you are discussing theory, there's one more situation that can relieve a sponsor of his/her obligation under the Affidavit of Support

5. Or basis for eligibility to petition for permanent residency is either withdrawn/rescinded/denied and alien falls out of status and is subject to removal

Edited September 19, 2006 by diadromous mermaid

[kittens_0117 5]

Without going into a lot of detail all at once, let's just say she became very much "American-ized".

Once she had a driver's license and a car to drive (~my~ 2nd car) she just decided she could go where she wanted, when she pleased. Simple questions about where she had been turned into long discussions, even lied to my face more than once about some things.

And then she got a minimum wage job in a beauty salon, and had disposable income to spend as she pleased. A small fortune in Russia perhaps, not really much here, but almost NONE of it came back to the house until I started insisting she pay for gas and insurance on the car she was driving. I finally asked her to give me $50 every two weeks from her pay check to help pay for bills... even getting this was like pulling teeth...

There were other issues that occured early in our relationship, I won't go into all of those here, but let's just say that when she was in Russia, she told me her main interest was in having "family and husband, home and children".

Once she got to America she was working in a beauty salon, NOT a good place to get "americanized" either, and totally into her own shopping for her own things (never for house or for food, supplies, garden, etc.)

Meanwhile I'd bought a house a few months after we got married. I told her the first few years would be a bit tough financially and things would be "tight". Most americans can understand this. All she knew is here I'm getting this big paycheck, but she had more "disposable" income than me in her minimum wage job. Because I was paying for EVERYTHING else... food, insurance, cable, electricity, mortgage, credit cards, you know the American bill-paying list we go through...

It got so I couldn't tell her ANYTHING, not even how to do X, Y or Z without getting back"why is this so important?", or "Lena says I should do this..."

Finally I was like, well go marry Lena then if you want to listen to her instead of to your husband... mind you this wasn't a one time occurance but it felt like "friends" from beauty salon and Russian girlfriend (married and bored in America) were more interesting to her than "home, family, husband". Forget children, she decided pretty quickly she didn't want this, because then she'd be "staying home all day" and "never get to talk to adults".

Then what the hell did I get married for, and why the hell did you tell me you wanted this when you were in Russia?

<snip...>

-- Dan

That's kind of sad and aggravating at the same time, to be "tricked" that way, if I may say that...

I'm from Asia who's gone to US on a work visa, just got married and applying for AOS and really hoping to be able to stay here. Although my job sometimes suck (okay - most of the time), it's good to have some income at hand just to be able to treat my husband out for a dinner or something.

However when my work visa ends, I will have to quit my job and wait for the EAD docs approval before I could work again. Although my main focus is to be able to stay here and be with my husband, sooner or later I will have to seek work opportunities just to make it easier for him and for us. But that's not my main focus now. Life here is definitely easier than my home country but I never initially enjoyed it until he came.

Wishing you the best of luck, though.

[AKguy 1]

Think some dust came through my monitor from this post being dug up.

[Oksana81 0]

Ditto....

My wife still hopes we will move back to Russia, at least to spend the summers there. Now that "we" have our own apartment there our plan is to be able to do that some time in the future. At least that is the plan...

Same here! We're going to try to work here for a few years, save up a little money, then move to Russia.

really? wow!

[slim 1,525]

That plan, like all others, seems to change monthly.

Funny I posted that before she even arrived here. I'll have to show that to her later tonight, "See. You planned on coming here to work and save money. Remember that? What ever happened to that plan?"

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

That plan, like all others, seems to change monthly.

Funny I posted that before she even arrived here. I'll have to show that to her later tonight, "See. You planned on coming here to work and save money. Remember that? What ever happened to that plan?"

be sure to let us know how comfy that couch of yours is.

[LvivLovers 39]

That plan, like all others, seems to change monthly.

Funny I posted that before she even arrived here. I'll have to show that to her later tonight, "See. You planned on coming here to work and save money. Remember that? What ever happened to that plan?"

That was the OLD slim, before all the happiness had been crushed out of him.

On another note, I think I'm going to make it my new policy to go once a week, find a random post at least 3 years old, and start it up again as though it's still an ongoing thread...

Edited February 18, 2010 by LvivLovers

[slim 1,525]

I think we started doing that about three years ago because we went through a dry spell for a while.

Also, charles!, my couch is VERY comfy! I sleep there enough it has my imprint in it, kind of like one of those expensive Swedish sleep systems with the memory foam.

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

I think we started doing that about three years ago because we went through a dry spell for a while.

Also, charles!, my couch is VERY comfy! I sleep there enough it has my imprint in it, kind of like one of those expensive Swedish sleep systems with the memory foam.

a good couch is a must in a marriage!

[AKguy 1]

a good couch is a must in a marriage!

As someone who's been there and done that, I concur.