Proves of Abuse

[Nadja&Holland 0]

My husband is in jail since january for a 3rd DWI. We got married in good faith in 2008,and we were extremaly in love.Since I got here in 2008, it doesn~t matter what we try, things just don´t work beetween us. He is very abusive. At first was just verbally, but it became physical. He dropped me out of his car in another city and left me there, pointed a gun to me, things that I don´t have how to prove.

I have one police report when he took all my things on the front yard and took my keys from me. He hit me that day, and dragged me out of the house. There were several signs of violence, but I didnt do a medical report.

I moved out, but we spoke and he convinced me to drop the charges a few days later.

We tryed then marriage consulling, and he told the psychologist he had hit me several times. He was verbally abusive in front of the psychologist too.

I didn´t know that I would need his signature to remove the conditions on my green card. So I was just glad he was in jail and stayed married until today.

I already cryed a lot after I realized he still have control over me. He knew this because he was always saying that I would have to go back to Brazil and that he didnt wanted me anymore.

After he went to jail I have been going alone to this psichologist, and I asked if he would write a letter what he confirmed. I know that a neighboor can write a letter about his verbal abuse that she could hear from her house, and maybe I could get a letter from my friend that allowed me to stay at her house when I didn t had where to go. She got pretty upset though when I moved back with him.

I already read the advise that I should look for a lawyer, but this website helped me a lot to come here.There is a lot of people that really know what they are talking about because we never need a lawyer to bring me here. I want to know if this is the best alternative to me or not...What I have is enough proof or not Should I just try to get divorce and go trought the other route...I appreciate any advise I can get...My Permanet Resident Card expires in January 2011.

[milimelo 4,561]

Don't know about divorce laws in your state (research it) but you could have your divorce decree by the time you need to remove conditions. That way, you're really done once and forever with him.

Just make sure to document everything as part of your joint filing waiver and enclose reports from police, psychologist, neighbor. You can also write a personal letter accounting everything that happened.

You also need regular evidence that you lived together, taxes, insurance cards...

Best of luck to you!

[Nadja&Holland 0]

Thank You. I am going to a lawyer, but I don´t know if will be called filling jointly if he doesn´t sign. This is why I am kind of confused beetween the 2 options to waiver his signature.That would be throught the divorce or proving abuse...

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Calling Jim.

[milimelo 4,561]

Thank You. I am going to a lawyer, but I don´t know if will be called filling jointly if he doesn´t sign. This is why I am kind of confused beetween the 2 options to waiver his signature.That would be throught the divorce or proving abuse...

I think you should be able to mark both options - divorce and abuse - just make sure you initiate the divorce. Hopefully other members will chime in soon.

[Nadja&Holland 0]

I called a good attorney lawyer in my city to check about prices. A regular case is about U$1800,00 plus the government fees (around U$500)...I will do my divorce anyway, and will try to make my husband sign. I believe it will not be bad if I choose to go through the cruelty relationship waiver.He will probably say that he will see about divorce when he gets out. This will not be anytime soon, since his sentence is 5 years. He has a projected release date for 2012, but after august he is eligible for parole. I believe he will not sign, to try to get paroled easier saying he has a family. I know even if he doesnt want the divorce I will be able to make it. Just more complicated. Anyway, the point is that I doubt it that I would get this divorce papers by october. I know there must be people that went throught the same... He will just not help...I just want to choose the better way to go. More guaranteed...even if I have to wait more just doing this waiver through divorce. I have 2 jobs, both for more then an year, one is as a substitute teacher in the district, this might help...But money is really short..

[IncorrectPolitics 26]

Ok dear you are in texas right? I just did some research on Texas divorce laws and I think you can get a divorce without his signature if he is in prison, as long as he didn't go to prison on your testimony My link

There is something in there about cruelty too, I am sure you could get help from your neighbor for that. You never know it may help even if you didn't call the police because alot of women are too scared to call the police and put up with horrible abuse.

If you get a divorce then you will just need a divorce waiver when you file for ROC, I am sure the fact that he is in prison will help your case.

[rika60607 215]

File for divorce pronto. The sooner you file the sooner you will be divorced.

You will not even need proof of abuse if you file I-751 with a divorce waiver.

[Old Dominion 26]

You don't need to file for removal of conditions in October...you can wait until nearer the date your green card expires, even the week before. file for divorce, and also get a police restraining order out on him in case he is paroled and tries to see you.

[Nadja&Holland 0]

Thank you for the link. I just checked. He was convicted of felony, so I can fill for divorce on this grounds. What happens if I file I751 with a divorce waiver...not with cruelty..or can I do both...how long it takes to get the 10 years permanent resident card if you just get divorced

[Nadja&Holland 0]

yes but with a divorce isnt harder to get the permanent resident card for 10 years

[IncorrectPolitics 26]

yes but with a divorce isnt harder to get the permanent resident card for 10 years

I think it takes the same amount of time, maybe a month or two longer, you will still have a one year extension. Go file for divorce right away, you can have him officially served in jail and I think he has 21 days to sign, even if he doesn't you can still get your divorce but I am not sure how long the wait is after he doesn't sign. You should also get a restraining order like the previous poster told you to do and have that served to him in jail. When you have free time I would suggest to write a detailed account of all past abuse (every little detail) and turn it in with your divorce waiver package, I don't think it would serve as evidence, but it might be helpful depending on the officer reviewing your case. Please be sure to take as much paperwork, pictures, etc. involving you as possible because you will still need to prove you married him in good faith. Don't forget your neighbor, try to get an affidavit from her that you lived there and she heard you being abused. After you have all of these things get out of his house before August and go to a place he doesn't know. Please don't stay and put yourself in danger it is not worth it.