Why are we turning our kids into sissies?

[Sharon 1]

Because it's polite?

That's f*cking BS. Not giving a kid a card is not being rude. Why should a kid be made to give the appearance that they like everyone if they don't.

"Rude" isn't really the word, I don't think, it's more "unkind" but

I'll tell you why - because it hurts to not get a Valentine....it hurts when you don't get invited to someone you believed was a friend's birthday party, it hurts to be the last chosen in a group for teams. It hurts to be excluded when there really wasn't any reason for it. I know, I was excluded from many things when I was a kid for a myriad of reasons. Maybe I didn't dress the same cuz my Mom was a single Mom of 3 and couldn't afford to buy all these fancy clothes that the other kids had. Or I had red hair. Oh yeah, the freckles played their part too.

Kids are can be cruel enough to other kids without realizing the damage they inflict with their cruelty. We all know the saying "kids can be cruel". Well, they can.

I always swore when I myself had kids, that I would do my part to change that...and I'm thrilled to say that I have. My kids were/are the type of child who will deliberately seek out a new-comer and ask him/her to sit with them at lunch-time if that child is all alone. And then ask that kid to come join him/her and their friends after lunch. They are the kind of kid who will share their lunch if they see someone has "forgotten" theirs or who will pass a quarter or two to a kid who they know doesn't have any money to spend at the book fair or on a field trip. Just small examples but you get my drift. And you're damn straight that I ask the teacher for a class list of names every Valentine's Day so that I'm sure my child doesn't leave anyone out accidentally.

As for the competitive sports thing, I understand you who think that not every kid on every team should get a trophy....but why not? Every kid played for that team, no? Yes, some are athletically better than others but that's a physical thing that can't be helped. Every kid (most times) still played their hardest, no? And we all know it's "supposed" to be not whether you win or lose but how you play the game", right?

We don't have to go out of our way to shield kids cuz yes, they're very resilient. But why not share a bit of extra love with them, is that so wrong? God knows this world can always use more love.

There will plenty of opportunity to experience the hard knocks in life a few years down the road.

[PlatyPius 5]

everyone said that my generation (80's kids) were going to be so bad but, i dont think so ... i think its this generation who isnt gonig to be able to handle the problems that will arise in thier adulthood.

Well, you're half right....

Which generation is raising the current generation of Entitlement Wussies? Aye....the 80s kids. So y'all WERE bad, but it's your progeny that are the result of your "badness".

People who grew up in the 80s - the "time out", "acting out", "count to 3" people - are, IMO, the worst parents the planet has ever seen.

Is it any wonder then that their spawn will usher in a new era of mediocrity?

[Sharon 1]

everyone said that my generation (80's kids) were going to be so bad but, i dont think so ... i think its this generation who isnt gonig to be able to handle the problems that will arise in thier adulthood.

Well, you're half right....

Which generation is raising the current generation of Entitlement Wussies? Aye....the 80s kids. So y'all WERE bad, but it's your progeny that are the result of your "badness".

People who grew up in the 80s - the "time out", "acting out", "count to 3" people - are, IMO, the worst parents the planet has ever seen.

Is it any wonder then that their spawn will usher in a new era of mediocrity?

Hmmmmm....I raised one of my kids in the 80's....another at the end of the 80's and half the 90's and yet another from 95 on. So what happens with mine, then?

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

I was raised in the 80's mainly. My mother did not use time out, count to three....ok well the latter she did when she was about to come after me with some sort of object to beat the tar out of me...Parenting is such a contrevercial topic. There are no set rules or guidelines on how to raise the perfect child. My mother was the sort that was very abusive in every way. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Unfortunately for me, being the youngest, I was the one that got the brunt of it as she got worse when my older brother and sister left the house. I can honestly tell you, that I had NO respect towards her what so ever. I also feel that because of her actions, she made me feel afraid to stand up for myself. She was never supportive of anything I did. I can remember all the football games she DIDN'T go to, to watch me cheer. NONE..that is how many! Even my dance recitals she only went to one out of god knows how many. THis list goes on. But my dad, who by all accounts was my real dad to me but in all actuality wasn't my biological father, I had the upmost respect for him as a father. He took an active part in my life. He took me fishing, took me to football, baseball, and hockey games, took me to my recitals, watched me cheer, and was there for me. When I did something wrong, it was him that I feared the most but not because of the spankings that I knew were coming, but because I had not only disappointed myself, but him as well. My mother to this day, has no CLUE as to how hard I had it at school. I can remember a school couselor calling her up at work telling her that I at the age of 12 was depressed. Her comment back to the counselor was "There is no way that my daughter is depressed. She is only 12 and children have NOTHING to be depressed about" and all the while she said this, she was laughing.

My ex and I both teach our children to reach out to those who are in need, those who are new, and those who need a friend. We are not all perfect. Do we spank our children? Yes we do, but we know the difference between a spanking and a beating. We also instill within our children how to talk, and how to stand up for themselves..to speak their minds. We teach them that they CAN'T always do EVERYTHING, but as long as they try their best, then that is all that matters. We tell them that everyone has their own nitch in life and its a matter of taking the initative to finding said nitch. We also teach them to never give up on something that may seem impossible because in the end, you may find out that "Hey, that wasn't so hard afterall". We focus on their strengths rather than their weaknesses.

I don't want my children growing up to be sissies, but I do want them to grow up as an individual. I want them to be who they are...not what I would like them to be.

LJ

[Mand 1]

Kids need to be taught kindness and to excel. Geez. Its quite possible to teach kids to be a member of a team and society and how to compete and excel. We can have both.

Out of 7 pages, this and a comment made by I think Cian? and quoted by Rebecca make the most sense. I started reading this thread because I got an e-mail related to this topic this morning:

Bill Gates got it right !

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this!

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.If you agree, pass it on

Personally, I always came last in any kind of sports days and never felt hard done by or in need of a pity medal. I simply wasn't a sporty person and knew that we can't be good at everything. We all have our own innate talents and strengths and these are what should be rewarded.

I also think we don't give kids enough credit for knowing their own minds and being very capable human beings within their own peer groups. Introducing personal responsibilty into a child's life is one the biggest motivational factors they can receive and this is something I have seen time and time again with my students.

As a sister of someone with cerebral palsy, I also know how my heart ached when I heard of someone being mean to my sister (kids are also cruel little feckers when they want to be). But y'know what, she's a tough cookie now and can talk her way around and through anything and anybody...usually with a tongue in cheek sense of humour. She is amazing, and I put it down to the fact that my parents wanted her to have the same life we all had...regular school, homework, the good and the bad of all aspects of life.

Anyways, I'm going off on a tangent here...carry on!

[incanada1234 0]

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.If you agree, pass it on

Kids are so coddled these days, it makes me sick. Even my own siblings in law are pathetically spoiled by their parents, and they're adults already! When did children start becoming the bosses of their parents??

Edited August 10, 2006 by incanada1234

[CarolineM 0]

Try this....this I read a while back and was just SHOCKED.

]are you KIDDING me...

"Parents objected. Red writing, they said, was “stressful.” The principal said teachers were just giving constructive advice and the color of ink used to convey that message should not matter. But some parents could not let it go."

[Fuzzness 2]

I was always the last one picked for sports and nobody would want to team up with me in school. you know what i learned from this? humility.... something that is greatly lacking in our society today (not just kids)

[incanada1234 0]

Try this....this I read a while back and was just SHOCKED.

]are you KIDDING me...

"Parents objected. Red writing, they said, was “stressful.” The principal said teachers were just giving constructive advice and the color of ink used to convey that message should not matter. But some parents could not let it go."

“My generation was brought up on right or wrong with no in between, and red was always in your face,” Kazmark said. “It’s abrasive to me. Purple is just a little bit more gentle. Part of my job is to be attuned to what kids respond to, and red is not one of those colors.”

Oh good grief. I can't even reply I'm so appalled. No way am I letting my kids into public schooling.

[Jenn! 918]

I saw this on our local news last night, and this thread came to mind. I suppose it's the other extreme....

Video shows adults using kids to steal

August 10, 2006

BEDFORD, N.H. --A woman turned herself in to police Wednesday after a store surveillance video captured footage of two small children sneaking behind display cases to steal thousands of dollars in jewelry, apparently on instructions from their mother and grandmother.

Bedford police made the video public this week and started getting tips minutes after it first aired on local television.

Police Chief David Bailey said the woman, whom he declined to identify, was not arrested because there was no warrant. She promised to return when one was prepared, which Bailey said could happen by the end of the day.

The woman said she lives in the area and has four children, one age 14 and three under 10, Bailey said. All are believed to have been involved, he said.

The video, taken Aug. 2 at a store called the Consignment Gallery, shows one woman, possibly the children's mother, directing them to pocket certain items. An older woman, believed to be the grandmother, stuffs items down her shirt.

A woman who identified herself as the older woman on the video talked with WMUR-TV on Wednesday and denied stuffing merchandise down her shirt, saying that is where she carries her cell phone, money and other belongings.

Margaret Ryan said she was shopping for a bed with her daughter when her grandchildren began to misbehave. She said her daughter was not stealing jewelry but rather trying to get her children to put back items they had taken.

"I was browsing around the store and the children were wild in the store," Ryan said. "My granddaughter did take a ring, but we didn't realize it until we saw the news."

Detective Matt Fleming said more than $2,000 in jewelry was stolen from the store.

"It's pretty upsetting," Fleming said. "Watching the children methodically move through that jewelry area and take the items out for the mother is just astonishing."

[\quote]

sorry, too late to edit my bad quoting...

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

I saw this on our local news last night, and this thread came to mind. I suppose it's the other extreme....

Video shows adults using kids to steal

August 10, 2006

BEDFORD, N.H. --A woman turned herself in to police Wednesday after a store surveillance video captured footage of two small children sneaking behind display cases to steal thousands of dollars in jewelry, apparently on instructions from their mother and grandmother.

Bedford police made the video public this week and started getting tips minutes after it first aired on local television.

Police Chief David Bailey said the woman, whom he declined to identify, was not arrested because there was no warrant. She promised to return when one was prepared, which Bailey said could happen by the end of the day.

The woman said she lives in the area and has four children, one age 14 and three under 10, Bailey said. All are believed to have been involved, he said.

The video, taken Aug. 2 at a store called the Consignment Gallery, shows one woman, possibly the children's mother, directing them to pocket certain items. An older woman, believed to be the grandmother, stuffs items down her shirt.

A woman who identified herself as the older woman on the video talked with WMUR-TV on Wednesday and denied stuffing merchandise down her shirt, saying that is where she carries her cell phone, money and other belongings.

Margaret Ryan said she was shopping for a bed with her daughter when her grandchildren began to misbehave. She said her daughter was not stealing jewelry but rather trying to get her children to put back items they had taken.

"I was browsing around the store and the children were wild in the store," Ryan said. "My granddaughter did take a ring, but we didn't realize it until we saw the news."

Detective Matt Fleming said more than $2,000 in jewelry was stolen from the store.

"It's pretty upsetting," Fleming said. "Watching the children methodically move through that jewelry area and take the items out for the mother is just astonishing."

[\quote]

sorry, too late to edit my bad quoting...

COme on now, that is total BS on the part of the grandmother. Of course the children were directed to do that. Children at that age are more prone into stealing candy, toys, etc. NOT 2000 dollars worth of jewelry. THey don't even know the value of it. This is ridiculous. God...parents now a days get more lose in there scruples/morals. #######..lol

LJ

[Mand 1]

Try this....this I read a while back and was just SHOCKED.

]are you KIDDING me...

You know what, teaching is becoming more about the parents than the students these days...

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

Expose kids to porn and fireworks. It worked for me.

[incanada1234 0]

Expose kids to porn and fireworks.

Simultaneously?

[Sharon 1]

Expose kids to porn and fireworks.

Simultaneously?

Yeah, sounds dangerous...lol.