Extremely fearful and worried that Ex may have completely misrepresented himself

[llxxll 5]

for those of you who haven't read my previous thread here's my story:

hubby comes into the USA on CR-1 status and becomes increasingle physically abusive, including being sexually abusive...then he confesses that he only married me to get immigration status in the US...then we separate just about two weeks after his arrival and he moves to another state...

I contact immigration(USCIS and ICE) and tell them he was a fraud in writing,... hubby has not yet received even his conditional green card,...and i get my marriage annulled back home....

because of the annulment the now ex...becomes reactionary and starts harassing me over the phone and threatens me via email... finally, even though he was supposed to have been in another state he shows up at my doorstep...

with no clue about his address i'm able to acquire a TPO against him anyways and on top of it due to the fact that every time he harasses me I inform the police, the police have taken out a warrant for misdemeanor stalking in ex's name.

I find out where he is have him served with the TPO and inform ICE about his whereabouts.

recently, due to all the emotional stress I decided to visit a psychiatrist who asked me tell her my whole story and leave nothing out...which I did...she turns to me and says that she does not usually make judgements about people she doesnt know but my ex seems to be a sociopath...and considering the country he is from and the fact that I didnt know him too well before getting married was I sure that he might not be part of a militant group....at first i brushed this thought off...it seemed to unreal and out there for me to accept that i could have possibly been so blind that i ended up marrying someone that dangerous...but then i started thinking back on his and my time together...

he has high reaching political connections back home, he is neighbors and extremely good friends with the vice president of this political party...this party is known to perform terroristic acts within our country and fund acts outside as well...my ex was extremely secretive about things...he would blow up at me if he ever found me near his phone...after he found me near his phone he put a password lock on it...he was secretive about who his friends were and would not let me meet them if they came over when we were back home...when he came here to the US he wanted a cellphone ASAP even though he himself was not earning at that time and he asked me to get the phone in my mother's name...whenever he was talking to someone he would always walk out the house and make calls and these calls would be made while he thought I was asleep in the wee hours of the morning or very very late at night...he mentioned some friends here in the US and when I asked him who the friends were (i.e. their names and what city they were living in) he would galre at me and ask me not to ask him too many questions. Not only was he extremely abusive, and threatened me that he would do away with me and my parents if I ever informed anyone about this (i.e. how he was treating me) ...but he was extremely secretive and if I asked even an innocent question about anythin related to his friends or calls he would get extremely angry.

I am unsure whether I should inform immigration about these concerns of mine...but at the same time if he executes some kind of terroristic activity here (especially considering july 4th is coming up...he used to say he wanted to go to time square for independence day) ...I am concerned that I will also be held responsible for it. But I am also concerned that i might get in trouble for bringing him into the USA if he is indeed part of a militant organization... I am totally confused and scared and in desparated need of help.

[llxxll 5]

also concerned that what if he is not what i am suspecting him to be and he gets in an extreme amount of trouble for nothing if I report him...is there a way i can investigate him on my own before reporting him?

[john & jean 37]

also concerned that what if he is not what i am suspecting him to be and he gets in an extreme amount of trouble for nothing if I report him...is there a way i can investigate him on my own before reporting him?

MOST CITIES HAVE A LOCAL FBI OFFICE, CALL AND LET THEM KNOW OF THE CONCERNS!!!

[llxxll 5]

MOST CITIES HAVE A LOCAL FBI OFFICE, CALL AND LET THEM KNOW OF THE CONCERNS!!!

would I talk to the FBI office in his city, mine, or new york?

[llxxll 5]

if I dont report him and he does something like sept 11 ...will I be in trouble too ?

[ECWilloughbys 7]

would I talk to the FBI office in his city, mine, or new york?

It doesn't matter which city, so long as you contact the authorities very soon and tell them exactly what you've told us. It sounds like better safe than sorry is the way to go here.

[twowls 217]

if I dont report him and he does something like sept 11 ...will I be in trouble too ?

You really have to separate your fears of consequences for your own involvement from the importance of potentially protecting lives. He certainly does sound about eleven kinds of scary shady; he's treated you like something he stepped in, and you need to not worry about his well-being. Only your own, and those you might save some agony if, on the off-chance, your and your psychiatrist's hunch is correct. Breathe for a minute and think clearly about that. And anyway, you had no idea of his capabilities when you brought him over and now you'd be doing a huge service to alert authorities. Do what feels right. You're frightened of him, he's made violent threats, his behaviors could match those of an intending troublemaker on a larger scale. Act.

If he's innocent of the greatest of accusations, he won't be punished for them. If he's guilty, you will have done a major, major good thing.

Edited June 20, 2010 by twowls

[john & jean 37]

It doesn't matter which city, so long as you contact the authorities very soon and tell them exactly what you've told us. It sounds like better safe than sorry is the way to go here.

ANY CITY!!! VERY SOON, LIKE NOW!!! THEY WILL ANSWER TODAY!!!!

Edited June 20, 2010 by john & jean

[justashooter 430]

1.) recently, due to all the emotional stress I decided to visit a psychiatrist who asked me tell her my whole story and leave nothing out...which I did...she turns to me and says that she does not usually make judgements about people she doesnt know but my ex seems to be a sociopath...and considering the country he is from and the fact that I didnt know him too well before getting married was I sure that he might not be part of a militant group....at first i brushed this thought off...it seemed to unreal and out there for me to accept that i could have possibly been so blind that i ended up marrying someone that dangerous...but then i started thinking back on his and my time together...

2.) he has high reaching political connections back home, he is neighbors and extremely good friends with the vice president of this political party...this party is known to perform terroristic acts within our country and fund acts outside as well...

3.) my ex was extremely secretive about things...he would blow up at me if he ever found me near his phone...after he found me near his phone he put a password lock on it...he was secretive about who his friends were and would not let me meet them if they came over when we were back home...when he came here to the US he wanted a cellphone ASAP even though he himself was not earning at that time and he asked me to get the phone in my mother's name...whenever he was talking to someone he would always walk out the house and make calls and these calls would be made while he thought I was asleep in the wee hours of the morning or very very late at night...

4.) he mentioned some friends here in the US and when I asked him who the friends were (i.e. their names and what city they were living in) he would galre at me and ask me not to ask him too many questions.

5.) Not only was he extremely abusive, and threatened me that he would do away with me and my parents if I ever informed anyone about this (i.e. how he was treating me) ...but he was extremely secretive and if I asked even an innocent question about anythin related to his friends or calls he would get extremely angry.

6.) I am unsure whether I should inform immigration about these concerns of mine...

lemme guess. this guy is from africa, north of the equator.

1.) your shrink is making the mistake of using her western education to try to evaluate a person with a different cultural orientation. you, being largely acculturated to western thinking, are doing the same thing. it could be that he was part of a militant group in his home country, but here he has little to no basis, if he tries anything, he is just a common criminal. relax for a moment and focus on healing yourself. YOU are all you should be thinking about right now. he should be left to deal with the consequences of his own actions.

the "law of natural consequences" is about to smack him right in the back of the head, and he might be aware of it at a conscious level, but at a gut level he is still thinking that he is in his home country where corruption reigns, connections speak, and thugs wander the streets with impunity. this perception will all change when he is found by police, tasered and handcuffed by policemen, locked in the back of a car, fingerprinted, photographed, and held in a jail cell until bail is made by his "friends". violation of a PFA is a serious misdemeanor, and this kind of response by law enforcement is standard treatment.

2.) the current occupant of the oval office notwithstanding, connections in a 3rd world country don't mean squat in USA. America is a nation in which rule of law still prevails. if not, our current dictator wouldn't have lasted a day. msot Americans (myself included) respect due process. your ex-husband will experience due process. in the meantime you need to stay out of his way and give him no communication. most people cannot enact aggression unless they feel a connection to their victim. you need to eliminate all connections for your personal safety.

3.) the secretive behaviour is standard practice in a case in which a man is using a woman to arrange fraudulent immigration. it is standard practice for unscrupulous persons whenever they are about to take advantage of someone. your guy is a fish out of water here. he may have been a big fish in a small pond in his home country, but here, he is a small fry who can't even get off the beach. the phone in your mother's name is the only suspicious component of the behaviour, but could have been old habit for a guy who uses dodges and deception as a life skill. hell, i've had aliases and phones that weren't in my name when the need arose. all men know how to do this. YOU NEED TO CLOSE THE ACCOUNT YESTERDAY.

4.) his "friends" are his exit path from your relationship. they are going to support him so that he can float for awhile. he doesn't want to be findable, so naturally will provide you with no information about them. he will not feel safe if you know where he is. he feels guilty at a subconscious level for using you, and is afraid of your "wrath", which seems non-existent to me. he is a scared little boy in a large body, and nothing more. everything he knows in his cognitive schema does not work here unless he is in company of other immigrants from his country. the other 99.99% of USA frightens him terribly.

5.) his horrific temper and enacted and threatened aggression are an indicator of his feeling of powerlesness. have no contact with him, so that he will have no release for this feeling. it will tear him apart day by day. getting out of the relationship is the best thing that could have happened to you in this situation. if you had stayed the abuse would have worsened. until he is deported you need to stay out of his way and give him no communication. most people cannot enact aggression unless they feel a connection to their victim. you need to eliminate all connections for your personal safety.

6.) you need to call USCIS to keep them updated on what you are going through, anyway. the next time you call, ask who you should send a letter to in regard to these concerns. then write out a simple outline with names, dates, events described in 1 or 2 sentences. long handwritten letters do not get read, so type it and keep it simple, and send it where they tell you. US law enforcement operates under a strict protocol. certain offices have authority that others do not, and you don't want to waste tiem or have this lost in the shuffle. telling the truth is a noble thing, and would be good for your soul right now. you need somebody to unburden to, so don't delay

i'm sending you a PM to explain some things. you are welcome to write me back if you need a friend.

general warning on this thread. anybody treats this one disrespectfully will be dealt with harshly.

[llxxll 5]

no he isnt from africa he is from southeast asia...and so am I ...but yes I would appreciate your PM ... i need to make sue whatever I am doing is right...i could be right I could be wrong

Edited June 21, 2010 by llxxll

[llxxll 5]

coincidentally the shrink is from southeast asia too ...

[Old Dominion 26]

go ahead and report what you know....not what "might be." The police can go from there; tracing the cell phone record is a good place for them to start.

[NVC FAN :( 18]

i would not listen to anything other than what others have said, call the fbi. dont listen to the guy who is a master at world culture,

If your american , or trying to become american. its your duty to report this man, if everything you said is true. call them now!

[llxxll 5]

I am really thankful to everyone for providing valuable advice to me

[Mountain Climber 186]

Here is the number for the FBI in California, 951-686-0335. Give them a call and tell them your story. They will investigate if they feel there is a case. Good luck.