Would you go back ?

[Captain Oates 911]

You say that like it's a bad thing.

My former sister-in-law is a WPC in Ely. She used to scare the bejesus out of me when she would show off her telescopic truncheon.

I await your video, as always, with breathless anticipation.

Mine wasn't one of those puffy telescopic ones. Mine was a ding donger and a whackeroo.

Mine was a 14 inches of hard walnut. Mine was longer than the other people's. I had a special pocket for it and the leather loop hung out of the top. 99% of truncheon were used for seeing off run over cats.

When this officer was killed by shotgun (link below), I was rousted out of bed and sent to look for his killer in the dark

We had one pistol that someone had gotten out of the superintendent safe. I remember searching a barn. I was just a kiddy and they sent me up a ladder to search a hay loft to see if the killer was hiding behind bales of hay up there. I had a flashlight and my trucheon.

The guy with the revolver waited at the bottom of the ladder. My hair was standing on end. It literally does you know coz the guy had just killed twice in cold blood in the last 30 minutes.

The dog van was on the way from Skipton but this ambitious young Inspector wanted to catch the guy on his own and climbed over the fence into the yard on his own - where the night watchman was already dead. He saw the night watchman and ran and was climbing back over the fence when he was shot under the armpit.

http://www.policememorial.org.uk/Forces/West_Yorkshire/Citations_West_Yorkshire/Citation-1970_Taylor.htm

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Mine wasn't one of those puffy telescopic ones. Mine was a ding donger and a whackeroo.

Mine was a 14 inches of hard walnut. Mine was longer than the other people's. I had a special pocket for it and the leather loop hung out of the top. 99% of truncheon were used for seeing off run over cats.

When this officer was killed by shotgun (link below), I was rousted out of bed and sent to look for his killer in the dark

We had one pistol that someone had gotten out of the superintendent safe. I remember searching a barn. I was just a kiddy and they sent me up a ladder to search a hay loft to see if the killer was hiding behind bales of hay up there. I had a flashlight and my trucheon.

The guy with the revolver waited at the bottom of the ladder. My hair was standing on end. It literally does you know coz the guy had just killed twice in cold blood in the last 30 minutes.

The dog van was on the way from Skipton but this ambitious young Inspector wanted to catch the guy on his own and climbed over the fence into the yard on his own - where the night watchman was already dead. He saw the night watchman and ran and was climbing back over the fence when he was shot under the armpit.

http://www.policememorial.org.uk/Forces/West_Yorkshire/Citations_West_Yorkshire/Citation-1970_Taylor.htm

I hardly know what to say without sounding trite or insincere. I have known several policemen and women in my life and I am always impressed with the service they perform in the name of the people. And I can't even imagine being so young and facing something so frightening. Wow Alan. I am genuinely moved by your service and that of your colleague.

[Captain Oates 911]

I hardly know what to say without sounding trite or insincere. I have known several policemen and women in my life and I am always impressed with the service they perform in the name of the people. And I can't even imagine being so young and facing something so frightening. Wow Alan. I am genuinely moved by your service and that of your colleague.

+3.5

Well they see it differently over there and they don't have patriotic reverence - it's more nasty chore. Also when you are 19, you think it's an action cartoon and you are the lone ranger. That's why they put 17 and 18 year olds in the Army. That's why my 33 year old granddad tried so hard to stay out of the army for 3 years until they roped him in, only to be killed in his first action. I would be having kittens every night and as screwed up as the rest if I was in the Police over here in the USA. We used to go back to the canteen at 1am when the Sergeant had gone home and we played dominoes til 5.30am. It was so quiet. In 6 years I never even arrested one person with drugs. Different place, different world, different time. I realised I was being de-sensitized when I had my breakfast sandwich off a dead man's naked chest. The turning point. Now I am really normal - ask anyone hee hee ha ha !

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

+3.5

Well they see it differently over there and they don't have patriotic reverence - it's more nasty chore. Also when you are 19, you think it's an action cartoon and you are the lone ranger. That's why they put 17 and 18 year olds in the Army. That's why my 33 year old granddad tried so hard to stay out of the army for 3 years until they roped him in, only to be killed in his first action. I would be having kittens every night and as screwed up as the rest if I was in the Police over here in the USA. We used to go back to the canteen at 1am when the Sergeant had gone home and we played dominoes til 5.30am. It was so quiet. In 6 years I never even arrested one person with drugs. Different place, different world, different time. I realised I was being de-sensitized when I had my breakfast sandwich off a dead man's naked chest. The turning point. Now I am really normal - ask anyone hee hee ha ha !

Ha! 3.5! I am doing very well.

I am most perturbed by the thought of a breakfast sandwich off a dead man's naked chest. I hope at least it had bacon in it as some sort of recompense.

[Captain Oates 911]

Ha! 3.5! I am doing very well.

I am most perturbed by the thought of a breakfast sandwich off a dead man's naked chest. I hope at least it had bacon in it as some sort of recompense.

No it was a cheese sandwich. He had had his head crushed flat by an 8 ton Archimedean screw ... I don't know if you have ever.......no I can't say that.

He was Dutch and the number one expert in Europe in Archemedian screws (Tone Loc - you think your the king ?). Turns out he had a wife +kids in Holland and one in Wales similarly and I had to explain the deal to them both.

As if all the commuting wasn't enough without having to buy 2 xmas presents/birthday presents etc.

Those who live by the screw, die by the screw.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

No it was a cheese sandwich. He had had his head crushed flat by an 8 ton Archimedean screw ... I don't know if you have ever.......no I can't say that.

He was Dutch and the number one expert in Europe in Archemedian screws (Tone Loc - you think your the king ?). Turns out he had a wife +kids in Holland and one in Wales similarly and I had to explain the deal to them both.

As if all the commuting wasn't enough without having to buy 2 xmas presents/birthday presents etc.

Those who live by the screw, die by the screw.

I can't imagine having to deal with two husbands at once. I find having one was most exhausting, what with the sandwich making and sock locating and "hey honey listen to this song I just wrote"-ing and ego-fluffing. Two wives seems like a sweeter deal than two husbands, any day, since we're just lovely and decorative and full of all sorts of useful advice.

[Captain Oates 911]

I can't imagine having to deal with two husbands at once. I find having one was most exhausting, what with the sandwich making and sock locating and "hey honey listen to this song I just wrote"-ing and ego-fluffing. Two wives seems like a sweeter deal than two husbands, any day, since we're just lovely and decorative and full of all sorts of useful advice.

My pal Andy the milkman was snoozing with his GF one night and a guy climbed up the drainpipe and climbed in through the landing window and stood at the end of the bed. Andy put the light on and and said 'Who are you".

The guy said "Never mind that, this is MY GF - who are you ?"

It's much better with 2 birds coz they usually can't climb drain pipes so they sit in the bushes taking pics with their cell phones as evidence for their friends in th wine bar. Thats not as heart fluttering.

Anyway Andy and the other guy went downstairs and had a beer on the settee. They got on really well and they both decided to kick her out finito raus ! The other guy was a fireman so good at climbing drain pipes.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Sounds like Andy and the BF at least got a beer out of the experience.

And you will never understand the sheer thrill of righteous indignation that can be gained from hiding in shrubbery. Trust me.

Edited June 26, 2010 by elmcitymaven

[Captain Oates 911]

Sounds like Andy and the BF at least got a beer out of the experience.

And you will never understand the sheer thrill of righteous indignation that can be gained from hiding in shrubbery. Trust me.

I wonder if women with cheating BF's in China hide in shrubberies with photo equipped cell phones ? Only in the areas with shrubs I hear you say.

Seems pretty universal.

Bet the 1st nation Americans did it too - fake buffalo parked 50 yards from rival's teepee

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

I wonder if women with cheating BF's in China hide in shrubberies with photo equipped cell phones ? Only in the areas with shrubs I hear you say.

Seems pretty universal.

Bet the 1st nation Americans did it too - fake buffalo parked 50 yards from rival's teepee

I'm sure there's a jpeg of that somewhere.

I just took to wandering around the Americana shopping centre, staring daggers of death at the Cheesecake Factory. Once or eighty bajillion times I drove past her house. No sightings but I got to feel righteously indignant and filled with brilliant RAGE.

Then I'd go home and have a brewski.

[Captain Oates 911]

I'm sure there's a jpeg of that somewhere.

I just took to wandering around the Americana shopping centre, staring daggers of death at the Cheesecake Factory. Once or eighty bajillion times I drove past her house. No sightings but I got to feel righteously indignant and filled with brilliant RAGE.

Then I'd go home and have a brewski.

Just watched the ENGLAND - GERMANY match and that's torn it. NEVER go back to England now.

I would rather be WELSH or something coz at least they are expected to be useless at togga. Actually, I would rather be Northern Irish. I like them, they are funny guys and potato cakes in craigavon are nice.. Scotland is alright when it's not raining so .....but England - Rooney looked like he had been sat on his head for a month.

Oh the disgrace...

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Just watched the ENGLAND - GERMANY match and that's torn it. NEVER go back to England now.

I would rather be WELSH or something coz at least they are expected to be useless at togga. Actually, I would rather be Northern Irish. I like them, they are funny guys and potato cakes in craigavon are nice.. Scotland is alright when it's not raining so .....but England - Rooney looked like he had been sat on his head for a month.

Oh the disgrace...

Never again? Hell, I said I'd never move back to the States (Dubya, wars, general idiocy) and yet here I am. Be careful, Alan. Repeated and vocal protests may very well result in your eventual and permanent exile to the land of your birth.

Edit: wrong adjective.

Edited June 27, 2010 by elmcitymaven

[Captain Oates 911]

Never again? Hell, I said I'd never move back to the States (Dubya, wars, general idiocy) and yet here I am. Be careful, Alan. Repeated and vocal protests may very well result in your eventual and permanent exile to the land of your birth.

Edit: wrong adjective.

Luckily those Mary Anne's in the UK are too dumb to pick up my anti English sentiments. If they were not so dumb they would sack Rooney.

What's left ? Country gone to the dogs. Grumble Grumble. New fangled ideas. Rain. Immigrants. Rain. Rooney. Rain. immigrants. 20% VAT sales tax. Chewing gum. Rooney. Smoking outside pubs. Drugs. Rooney. Clouds. Big Brother. Rain, Rooney.Sharia law. Windy wet cold.

Once Liz and man belong Quinn die, Charles will take over as the ideal representative of all this boiled down into a sticky sweet stuck to my shoes on a wet Sunday morning in Bradford in November.

Edited June 27, 2010 by saywhat

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Luckily those Mary Anne's in the UK are too dumb to pick up my anti English sentiments. If they were not so dumb they would sack Rooney.

What's left ? Country gone to the dogs. Grumble Grumble. New fangled ideas. Rain. Immigrants. Rain. Rooney. Rain. immigrants. 20% VAT sales tax. Chewing gum. Rooney. Smoking outside pubs. Drugs. Rooney. Clouds. Big Brother. Rain, Rooney.Sharia law. Windy wet cold.

Once Liz and man belong Quinn die, Charles will take over as the ideal representative of all this boiled down into a sticky sweet stuck to my shoes on a wet Sunday morning in Bradford in November.

Good god. I really need a drink now. Open your gin cupboard, Alan. I'm on my way up to Central Washington. Let's drink.

[Captain Oates 911]

Good god. I really need a drink now. Open your gin cupboard, Alan. I'm on my way up to Central Washington. Let's drink.

I am digging a hole and putting my head in it and filling it with Halliburton cement. I am going to sell my red passport to these Mexican guys down by the railroad tracks - actually after that display, I may have to pay hazardous waste fee for them to take it away.

What with Rooney+BP, I dare not even do GIN as it might be the last straw. ok googling tumble weed city hypnotists - just tell me this is a nightmare and really it's 1966 again.

Oh not against GERMANY please !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh oblivion where are you when I need you ?