Worried about New Life

[BokkieandGuapo 4]

I have just been approved for my K-1 Visa at the consulate and still have a few things to tie up here before making the big trek to California. Being the Male counterpart in the upcoming marriage I am desperately worried about the finances when we get married and before the AOS becomes official. 3-6 months is a long time to sit not being a contributing partner in a newly formed marriage. This, I'm sure will put pressure on a new relationship. Having previously exited a marriage where I was controlled and had to rely on my ex-wife and her parents for getting money I am certain I do not want history to repeat itself. There must be people out there that have gone through a similiar situation, please tell me your stories so we may live happily ever after.

[HappyKnappy 30]

I have just been approved for my K-1 Visa at the consulate and still have a few things to tie up here before making the big trek to California. Being the Male counterpart in the upcoming marriage I am desperately worried about the finances when we get married and before the AOS becomes official. 3-6 months is a long time to sit not being a contributing partner in a newly formed marriage. This, I'm sure will put pressure on a new relationship. Having previously exited a marriage where I was controlled and had to rely on my ex-wife and her parents for getting money I am certain I do not want history to repeat itself. There must be people out there that have gone through a similiar situation, please tell me your stories so we may live happily ever after.

Hey, Bok (If I can call you that)! I am in the same situation as you, and felt the need to encourage you to go on with the move. You see, it's not a 6 month wait necessarily before you can work. You can read the timeline section of VJ, and feel at ease because even if the whole AOS process takes in average 4 to 6 months, your EAD document arrives in 2 to 3 months after filing.

As you mention, it is very difficult to sit there and do nothing to support your newly formed home. I am in that position, I go around in circles because the 4 week vacation I am in so far is sickening at times. Before you move and marry your girl, make sure that you two have discussed your finances thoroughly. Do NOT leave any matter floating, because it can come back and haunt you guys. The best thing you can do is to ensure you have enough resources to live up to 7 months, with your wife's income and your assets if you have them.

Marriage is teamwork my friend. I am sure your girl knows what she is getting into, and will do it with all the good will there is. Considering your words, I can guess you are hell-bent on being the head of the house, the hard working type, and that's admirable. Some would love to rest on their laurels and watch the money come in, glad to see it's not your case. For now, she is going to have to provide for the two of you until you can start working, so you are going to have to make her job at home as easy as you can. It's simple, you can keep your house clean, have dinner ready when she comes, do laundry, that sort of thing... That way, all the time she is off-work, you lovebirds will have time together.

Eventually you'll run out of things to clean, and you'll go in circles until something needs cleaning. Congratulations, BTW!