British Bun in the Oven

[Gemmie 142]

Never mind, I posted after you, ha.

She is absolutely gorgeous. I bet she's totally worth the bill! Although that is some CRAZY bill. So you get the bill AFTER delivery, for the prenatal visits? I have pretty good insurance so I'm hoping I'll be really well covered. It's something to ask them about at my first appointment. I'm so glad you had a positive birth experience with a midwife. I know people that said their doctor was away for the delivery and they ended up with a random person and it totally affected the whole thing in a negative way.

When were you planning on another baba?

Edited August 25, 2012 by Gemmie

[TracyTN 237]

I loved my doctor and felt very cared for by her. She never really even brought up a c-section - in fact, only mentioned it in the 'if we have to' type scenario. She was all about letting nature take its course and allowing me to choose what I wanted for the birth (drugs please, as many as possible - I'm a wuss!). I think it really does depend on who you choose and I'm not knocking midwifes - I just don't think all doctors are bad (or pro c-section), either.

As far as caffeine during pregnancy goes - I allowed myself one glass each morning to get myself going and no more the rest of the day. You're better than me if cutting it out didn't bother you at all, but I only mention it to point out you can have some and still have a healthy child. (Sometimes I wonder how any of us survived pregnancy and birth...! LOL)

[*julez* 124]

I loved my midwife so much that after I had my daughter and my last postnatal visit, I really missed her. After our last visit, I found myself tearing up over not having any further visits. Hormones are a funny thing! Obviously, I got over it as its been nearly 13 years! It was such a positive experience, though, so I like to encourage moms-to-be to use midwives.

[TracyTN 237]

I totally get it. I just think some doctors can be wonderful too. I'm all about options for mama's to be!

[*julez* 124]

Oh, I agree, Tracey. There are definitely some excelent doctors out there. It's good to know all the options.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

I went the regular OB route too, although I've heard great things about midwives. I never had a vision for the type of birth I wanted...just get her out!

Re: caffeine, once the nausea improved to the point where I could stomach something other than four foods, I allowed myself 2-3 cups of half-caf. I think the recommendation is to limit your coffee to 2 cups, and I'm sure the tea limit is higher. I had bad headaches, though, so the caffeine helped a lot because I was advised not to take ibuprofen. I also drank a lot of Coke for the same reason. I'm not a soda drinker, so this was weird! I felt a bit bad because my diet was so terrible for the first several months, but you do what you have to do.

[DiZZyLoX 114]

Dude. Gemma. Congratulations!! As i type this with my now 11 week old son sprawled out breastmilk drunk on my chest...i am remembering yesteryear where i obsessed over miscarriages and what to expect in the coming months...

Dont sweat the miscarriage. Sweat the morning sickness! Omg i was sick as a dog. I tried to pass it off as the flu but hell...everyone at work thought i had mono!! I second Rachel, get thee an online community of awesome. My strongest community was though twitter. We have given eachother boppy pillows, coupons, all kinds of awesome.

I had Loxley through an obgyn office where i saw literally 7 doctors because the doc on call would be who delivered you. Needless to say i only saw the doc for the 30 mins it took to do the emergency c section. To be honest im not of the grain of folks that cares about that sort of thing. In fact, when the doc was giving his c section shpeel i believe my response was "okie dokie" mid contraction.

Sooo exciing two new Ameribrits are fixin to hit the scene. Brilliant! As my hubby would say

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Hi, ladies

Not sure if I should mention this because...well...here goes anyway.

My sister is 41 and has the ultrasound scheduled for this Friday. She had a miscarriage about 18 months ago, and it was at that appointment that she realized it wasn't viable. She was on the fence about having a baby before that, and the disappointment of it, coupled with the less than sympathetic manner of the NP who did the ultrasound, left her very sad and upset and reinforced how much she does want a baby. She and her man have been trying ever since. She had a consultation with a fertility specialist a few weeks ago. There was no physical exam, just him presenting a lot of sobering statistics about naturally conceiving a "take home baby" at her age. They were trying to decide if they wanted to take the next step, a series of tests, when she discovered she had conceived. As it turns out, she was pregnant at the appointment but didn't yet know it. If this is indeed a take home baby, would that be a great story or what?

I'm so nervous about her appointment Friday. I'm hopeful, though, because her symptoms are much stronger this time around. Last time, she felt fatigued and appetite loss, but this time, she has full-on nausea and has thrown up a couple of times. She also said she thinks she's gone up a bra size. Her symptoms and their timeline are very close to what I experienced with Limita. When I ask her how she's feeling, I'm so relieved when she says, "Awful!"

Anyhoo, just wanted to share my anxiety/cautious excitement! I can't really talk about it w/ anyone yet for obvious reasons.

[Gemmie 142]

Re: the caffeine, I have caved a few times, but have done so well. I'm used to having a coffee and 2 cups of tea per day, and I've had two cups of tea in the past week. You guys have made me feel a bit better about that though!

Let us know how her ultrasound goes on Friday. That is such a great turn of events that she happened to be pregnant already. I feel for her though. I've heard a lot of women say that having a pregnancy loss made them want a child even if they didn't want one before. To be fair, getting pregnant at 41 is no easy feat, and she's managed that one big step. Hopefully the baby is developing well, although her mind will probably always be full of anxiety.

I don't have any sickness as of yet (which I'm a bit nervous about) other than feeling a bit sick when I have my chew-able prenatal vitamins- just very tired (going to bed at 8 every night and still tired), feel like I have rocks in my boobs, bloated, and emotional. I remember when my SIL got pregnant and freaked out at me, screaming at me over the phone, and later apologized saying "it's my hormones", thinking 'how bad can they possibly be?'- now I kinda know. I'm pulling moody voices and faces over any little thing. I just feel like I have extreme PMS, but nothing to write home about as far as 'pregnancy symptoms'. But then apparently that's normal too? I hope everything is growing nicely and I'm just lucky.

When did you all tell your boss/es that you were pregnant?

[DiZZyLoX 114]

I tried to make it to 12 weeks but i only made it to 6 before i told my boss. The only reason i did was becausemy coworker spilled his beans about his wife's pregnancy and we are a 2 person team lol my poor boss. Our babies were a week apart.

Good luck to your sis. It sounds like its going to be the real deal!!

Gemmie good for you you arent sick. My friend wasnt sick one bit and her baby went to 42 weeks!! Dont let that scare you, im just saying you likely still have a strong pregnamcy regardless of feelin icky.

I tried to make it to 12 weeks but i only made it to 6 before i told my boss. The only reason i did was becausemy coworker spilled his beans about his wife's pregnancy and we are a 2 person team lol my poor boss. Our babies were a week apart.

Good luck to your sis. It sounds like its going to be the real deal!!

Gemmie good for you you arent sick. My friend wasnt sick one bit and her baby went to 42 weeks!! Dont let that scare you, im just saying you likely still have a strong pregnamcy regardless of feelin icky.

Stupid ipad. I turned iff autocorrect and now it looks like a toddler is writing my messages.

[TracyTN 237]

Let us know how the ultrasound goes on Friday, Empress. I know you all must be on pins and needles a bit. My husband would love another but I have ruled it out. I'm 41 now so my chances at conceiving again are probably small, even though I conceived quickly with Emily.

I told my boss the day after I had my positive PG test. LOL! But - at that job, we were all kind of one big, happy family and if I got sick or didn't feel well, I kind of wanted her to know why. Her knowing made it a lot easier for me on days I felt bad, or if I needed to work from home for an appointment or something, I didn't have to lie to her about it. So I don't think there's a right/wrong time to tell them - just depends on your situation. We did wait to tell my friends and extended family until after we had our first doctor appointment though.

[*julez* 124]

Empress - I hope everything goes well with your sis's ultrasound. Sounds like she could use some good news.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Thanks, ladies. I'll let you know how my sister's ultrasound goes.

Gemmie, try not to worry about your symptoms, or lack thereof! Lots of people don't have nausea (and I was jealous of every single one of them!). Major-league nausea didn't set in for me until about week 6, if I remember correctly.

I was very lucky in that I worked from home full time, so I didn't have to tell a boss I was expecting. I felt so awful, though, that I probably would have mentioned it at least to my manager and a discreet coworker or two. I felt sick for weeks and weeks, so people probably would have figured it out anyway. Either that or assumed that I had the world's longest stomach bug.

Tracy, I'm with you on the one-kid thing. For a while, I was hoping to talk my husband into one more, and then I realized my reasons for wanting another were the result of feeling like I should, getting sentimental when looking at little baby clothes and infant car seats, having a lingering sadness that I was a breastfeeding failure and wanting the opportunity to try again, being sad that I didn't enjoy the pregnancy because I felt awful and wondered what it would be like a second time, etc., etc. These moments are not rational! Over the last six months, I've realized that one is doable, two would be chaos and very difficult, not just for financial reasons. I know lots of people say that and then deal with it just fine, but we're old, and I realized that I'm really and truly not up for it--any of it--nor is Jon. I had to talk him into one kid, so I'm ahead! If we were five-plus years younger, maybe. So, fingers crossed my sis will have a little one, and I can get my newborn cuddle fix and then head home to my tornado of destruction (who sleeps!)

I'm thinking about getting my tubes tied or encouraging Jon to have a vasectomy. See, I said we were serious!

[TracyTN 237]

Tracy, I'm with you on the one-kid thing. For a while, I was hoping to talk my husband into one more, and then I realized my reasons for wanting another were the result of feeling like I should, getting sentimental when looking at little baby clothes and infant car seats, having a lingering sadness that I was a breastfeeding failure and wanting the opportunity to try again, being sad that I didn't enjoy the pregnancy because I felt awful and wondered what it would be like a second time, etc., etc. These moments are not rational! Over the last six months, I've realized that one is doable, two would be chaos and very difficult, not just for financial reasons. I know lots of people say that and then deal with it just fine, but we're old, and I realized that I'm really and truly not up for it--any of it--nor is Jon. I had to talk him into one kid, so I'm ahead! If we were five-plus years younger, maybe. So, fingers crossed my sis will have a little one, and I can get my newborn cuddle fix and then head home to my tornado of destruction (who sleeps!)

I'm thinking about getting my tubes tied or encouraging Jon to have a vasectomy. See, I said we were serious!

I hear you. It is a very personal choice and some of my reasons are the ones you listed - I am 41 and hubby is 47 - so I understand the age thing big time.

Frankly, I never wanted kids until I met my husband. I was just never one of 'those women' who had a strong desire for it, and even though I love Emily dearly, I don't really relish going through it again when I am 2 years older, esp. when those years are over 40. I have scoliosis, and my curve worsened after having her to the tune of 3 degrees. Sounds like nothing, but now I am only 8 more degrees away from possibly having to have surgery (metal rods in my back) if it gets to 50 degrees. The doctors think the hormones of pregnancy - along with some natural deterioration - contributed to it worsening to that extent. I would rather avoid the surgery and the rods if at all possible - let alone my pain level with it has gone up every day. I can't imagine how much pain I'd have if it got three degrees worse again. *shudder*

Apparently having your tubes tied when you're not already having a c-section or what not is a pretty big deal surgery wise (or so I've been told). The 'V' is apparently a much less of an ordeal - not that I have been able to talk Chas into it. A friend of mine's husband had it done and he barely missed any work. I have Mirena which frankly makes it easy. Guess I'm just waiting on menopause otherwise (lord!). I may eventually bring it back up to Chas but I have a feeling the answer will be no unless some kind of health reason prevents me from being the 'preventor'. Heh.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Every man I know who has had the V has been very happy with the results, as have their wives! It's a relatively small operation compared to tubal ligation (or god forbid, a hysterectomy). My brother had it done and he was back at work in a couple of days. (I think he took an extra day off because he could, not because he needed to.)

Empress, I'll be waiting for an update from you as well. No change in my on-again-off-again discussions with the BF about reproducing. I know to some extent it's me holding things back -- it's embarrassing to relate, but I am still married to my ex, the one I've been split from for over three years. The ex and I have been lazy, and poor, and poor and lazy, and now just lazy. I have a distinct feeling that if I did file and get things underway, it would be easier on my entire relationship with the BF, not just in regards to whether or not we have kids. It's just every time I bring it up, the ex gets sad and there are buckets of tears about how flippin' sad our breakup was. And yes, I know he is not the man in my life any more, and I need to respect the needs of my partner and not my ex, but I am a softy. I think I need to put my big girl pants on though and deal with it.

Sorry for the hijack. I just needed to get that off my chest!