British Bun in the Oven

[*julez* 124]

Gemmie, that is great news! Congratulations! Being terrified is perfectly natural. It takes a while to get used to the idea of having a baby, even if you did plan it. Pretty soon you'll be all caught up in the planning of everything that needs to be done to be ready for the baby, and you won't have much room for worry Until you realize that its nearly time for the baby to come out! I hope you have a nice, easy pregnancy and delivery.

[TracyTN 237]

Aww congratulations, Gemmie!

I can relate to 'terrified'. That didn't really hit me until maybe about 6 months in. Before that, I was dealing with being sick, trying to get our house and life ready for a baby - but then I started to be terrified about it all - namely the process of actually giving birth. Honestly I think if you aren't somewhat terrified, then you probably are not truly ready to have a baby. The enormity of what you're about to get yourself into is something I don't think anyone should underestimate.

But I can tell you that it will all work out, and you'll amaze yourself for how you handle things you think you can't (I was oddly the calm one during labor because hubby was so freaked out and felt helpless). You'll be fine - I promise. And that's from one formerly terrified chick to another.

[Justine+David 218]

Congrats, Gemmie!

[Gemmie 142]

Thank you for your soothing words!

At this point, I'm just trying not to get too excited (although can't help it) as it's so early. Everything I read online seems to end in miscarriage, so trying to stay away. In the process of setting up my first appointments- apparently I have to wait until I'm at least 8 weeks, which feels like a lifetime away. I've actually never as much had a Pap test (I know, that's terrible, but in my defense the UK has a 25 year old age threshold, and then I just never bothered since moving here- I don't even have a PCP!) but I've found somewhere that deals with just OB/GYN care and a hospital purely for women to deliver.

So far, my symptoms are mostly fatigue (I'm so tired, yet somehow have insomnia), breast pain, and getting little niggly cramps now and then in my lower tummy. My coworker saw me today and asked "what is wrong with you?"- apparently I look as exhausted as I feel.

I'm thankful to have a place where I can discuss stuff here! My husband is so happy- he doesn't even seem to have a worry in his head.

[TracyTN 237]

Yeah - it freaked hubby out for us to wait that long for an appointment too. We thought the doctor had to do a blood test to confirm the pregnancy, but no -they just rely on the tests now because they're so accurate.

The first trimester is just BAD. LOL You are tired just all the time (and yes the insomnia makes sense!) because this is when the little ####### is really growing. Most women feel a LOT better in the second trimester -just keep thinking about that.

And I'm not sure my husband's feet touched the ground much when I was PG either. It's actually kind of fun to watch them, isn't it?

[X Factor 1,111]

Gemmie ConGraTuLaTions

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Gemmie, we're here for you, glad to impart wisdom (?) and share all the gory details! I too can relate to the excitement, fear, and anxiety. I couldn't believe it for months, even after I'd seen the 18-week ultrasound, which looked a lot like a baby. Maybe because of my age (36), I wasn't worried about the being a mom stuff or any of that; I was almost entirely preoccupied with fears about the baby being OK. I figured I'd deal with the rest of it as it came. I wasn't worried about the birth because I felt so awful for most of the pregnancy and fully planned to opt-in for any and all painkilling interventions. I just wanted it over with and for food to taste normal again. But some ladies breeze through pregnancy and feel great. At least I've heard of that happening.

[Gemmie 142]

Thanks Kennard.

I know it's really bad to look on the internet for information (mostly) but I am so freaked out about all of the people that seem to have gone to their appointments to find there is no heartbeat, or no baby. I'm starting to obsess.

I have an ultrasound in 3 weeks where they will look at the heartbeat and size of baby, and if all is OK, I'll meet with a midwife a week later to do the rest of the stuff. Do you ladies know if it's common for this missed miscarriage? I'm reading that it occurs in 10-25% of pregnancies, and it's scaring me to death. I'm analyzing every twinge or 'feeling un-pregnant' that I can.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Gemmie, I'm not sure I can offer anything other than a suggestion to avoid reading about miscarriages! I know what you mean, though...when you're reading about how common they are, and the zillions of stories about going to the first appointment, only to find out the pregnancy isn't viable, it's hard to imagine that anyone has had a baby! I remember when I first started reading pregnancy forums, and it seemed like every other person was hopefully expecting a "rainbow baby" (which I learned is a baby conceived following a miscarriage). I was freaked out too but just tried not to think about it. One thing that was cool was learning at the 8-week appointment that if a heartbeat is detected at that stage, there's a 90-something percent chance that the pregnancy is viable. I didn't even know they could do an ultrasound that early and had planned on just waiting the traditional 3 or 4 months before telling anyone. My husband didn't go with me to the appointment because I just figured they'd take a blood test, give me some prenatal vitamins, and tell me to come back in a month.

I know it's easy for me to say, but just sit tight! And stay away from pregnancy online forums!

[TracyTN 237]

I say avoid the internet at all costs about ANYthing medical - you always seem to find the worst case scenarios and little else. I honestly never had the miscarriage obsession. I just figured whatever was meant to be would be (que sera sera and all and there was little I could do to control that. Well obviously not go on a drinking binge or something.

[Gemmie 142]

Yeah, it's great that they do the 8 week ultrasound; she explained the whole thing on the phone to me. She asked if I wanted a doctor or a midwife, and said doctors are for more high risk patients. I said I'd go with midwife unless any complications arose, and she said that's fine. The place I'm going to has an Alternative Birthing Center, a whirlpool tub, offer selective 'gentle C-Section' and the usual hospital options. They pride themselves on the 'whatever the mother wants', which is just what I was looking for.

Apparently miscarriage is a 15% chance before 8 weeks; then if there is a strong heartbeat, a 5% chance; then after 12 weeks, a 2% chance. I know this from my freaking out and obsessing over statistics . I know what you mean though, I will try very hard not to go near any of those websites. When we first decided to go for it, I visited some of them for 'TTC Tips' and ended up finding a million posts about people taking Clomid, trying for years and not getting pregnant, using artificial insemination, using cups to 'hold in the sperm', even changing their diets so that they could 'sway' toward a boy or a girl. It would be great to have a forum where people aren't all crazy and obsessed. But then again, I probably fit that right now. Ha!

I wish I had that outlook, Tracy! I'm usually quite relaxed, but my nerves have shot through the roof this past week.

[*julez* 124]

Great choice on the midwife! I had a midwife with my 3rd baby. It was a really great and much better experience. Nothing wrong with doctors, but my first 2 were born in a teaching hospital, where they had so many people in and out of the delivery room that I wanted to scream. You must stop with all the statistics reading - it will drive you crazy!!

[Alex & Rachel 78]

I love Madeleine's serious face! She is such a cutie!

Gemmie - congratulations! This time last year I was about 4 weeks pregnant, too. I also conceived first try! Like you, it was planned, but I've always had irregular periods and so I thought it'd take a while, too. And, well, now look:

And first trimester tiredness is AWFUL! And worse, you can't really tell your coworkers why you're an absolute zombie at work. It's great that you're not feeling sick yet - knock on wood you won't get the terrible morning sickness I did!

I'd never had a pap smear either. Hey, gets it out of the way! My appointment wasn't until Oct 12th - that was a loooong time to wait!

Oh - and I LOVE pregnancy online forums... but I only joined one in my 3rd trimester, when most of my fears had been qualmed. And luckily I found a great group of non-dramatic mothers. We're actually quite close now - I've sent a baby monitor and wraps to 3 ladies, one sent me a box of clothes, another sent me her wrap, and I'm meeting one of the ladies on Sunday, too! Also, the ladies in this thread are absolutely fabulous!

I the babywearing community, too. Uh, I'm up to like, 12 wraps now. It's the only thing I'm spending any money on these days!

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Yeah, it's great that they do the 8 week ultrasound; she explained the whole thing on the phone to me. She asked if I wanted a doctor or a midwife, and said doctors are for more high risk patients. I said I'd go with midwife unless any complications arose, and she said that's fine. The place I'm going to has an Alternative Birthing Center, a whirlpool tub, offer selective 'gentle C-Section' and the usual hospital options. They pride themselves on the 'whatever the mother wants', which is just what I was looking for.

Great choice!

Ugh, I chose my OB based on my boss's recommendation... not taking into account that she had scheduled c-secs with all 3 of her children. Nothing wrong with c-sections, but he was SUPER pushy about them. And to be honest, all he ever really provided me with were growth stats and a couple of extra ultrasounds. I got ALL of my information online.

At my 37 week appointment he told me he no longer actually attended vaginal births/emergency c-secs at all. He ONLY did scheduled c-secs! I received the bill two months after having Anya... $3,600. For approximately 10 five-minute appointments and 2 non-anatomical ultrasounds!

I think next baby I'll definitely be finding a midwife. I did end up with one for delivery, and she was SUPERB. Lovely lady!

[Gemmie 142]

Yeah, that's pretty much what I've read from people, regarding midwives vs. doctors. Did you feel that you got more "personal" care from the midwife experience? For example, more time with them, someone to advocate for you, etc.

The cramping that I felt last week has gone now. My symptoms have faded a little bit. Still a bit tired but nothing like last week. I'm now 5 weeks- did anyone else find their symptoms did this?

Trying to get myself healthier. I don't smoke or drink anyway, and I've completely cut out caffeine. I started off by saying I'll have 2 cups of tea per day, as that's within the limit. Then I switched to decaf coffee and decaf coke. And now I'm just having water, milk and orange juice. I am missing my tea, but just want to get the 'OK' from the nurse at my first appointment before I resume my British right.