British Bun in the Oven

[Jewel-8 21]

I dress like a 12-year-old boy in about 1997, so I think there's a good chance Madeleine will have Etnies and Vans, at the very least.

When my husband and I met for the first time we were both wearing black t-shirts and jeans along with a pair of Converse. Comfy stuff. Glad we are not the only ones still refusing to wear the same type of shoes we wore as teens. He is mid-thirties now so I am certain he will not change.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

If I might ask, is the debate with your dude, or with yourself?

My sister is turning 40 in June and still seems undecided. I do think she would like a kid and might have regrets in a few years if it doesn't happen. I am gently encouraging her to get on it (so to speak). I gave her a bunch of my leftover ovulation test strips. I guess that wasn't all that subtle. But she did take them! Her dude doesn't seem to have an opinion on the matter, so at least that's not an issue!

I worry about having regrets....but since I haven't been trying to avoid pregnancy for about 5 years and actively trying for about 2 I'm now worried about whether or not it's possible. I think at this point it's a question of whether I seek help in the matter and I'm kind of scared of investing a lot into that and it not working out, since I think we will be happy and fulfilled without a child and I don't want to have a big letdown if that's the way it's going to be.

[Pooky 3,848]

I worry about having regrets....but since I haven't been trying to avoid pregnancy for about 5 years and actively trying for about 2 I'm now worried about whether or not it's possible. I think at this point it's a question of whether I seek help in the matter and I'm kind of scared of investing a lot into that and it not working out, since I think we will be happy and fulfilled without a child and I don't want to have a big letdown if that's the way it's going to be.

The worst kind of regret is the "I wish I had looked into it" kind. There's no harm in doing a little research.

The wife and I will only ever have one child together, but we've had five years of absolutely no regrets with our bundle of joy/energy/attitude

[Empress of Groovy 373]

I worry about having regrets....but since I haven't been trying to avoid pregnancy for about 5 years and actively trying for about 2 I'm now worried about whether or not it's possible. I think at this point it's a question of whether I seek help in the matter and I'm kind of scared of investing a lot into that and it not working out, since I think we will be happy and fulfilled without a child and I don't want to have a big letdown if that's the way it's going to be.

Geez, Robin, I'm sorry, I didn't know that. I wonder if it would be worth it to try something uninvasive? I can think of three people I know off the top of my head who had luck with Clomid. In one case, the couple had been trying for five years. Their daughter is a few months older than Madeleine. Sorry to turn the conversation in that direction, as I'm sure you've received this kind of "advice" and are probably tired of hearing it! We had luck fairly quickly once I started figuring out when I was ovulating (I've always had highly irregular cycles that tend toward the long side), although we hadn't been using contraception for a couple of years before that.

[TracyTN 237]

Aw, thanks! I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I'm just not sure I'll ever put her in that pink tutu.

Re: second kid thoughts, Jon is definitely on the no side of that one, and he maintains it's because of his age (41). I wouldn't be opposed to it--notice how quickly I seem to have forgotten how miserable the pregnancy was?--mostly because I think it would be nice for Madeleine to have a sibling, and they'd be close in age. She'd also have someone to play with. I have two siblings, and they're both crazy in completely different ways, but I love them and am glad I have them. Of course, now isn't the time to broach the subject, given that we're both wiped out from caring for a 2-month-old. Hmmm...

A friend of mine (the one whose husband made the comment that my body image would totally change! like, totally!) is also turning 40 this year, and her husband has been lobbying for kid #2. This is the guy who said he really didn't want a kid initially. He's about three years younger than she is, I think. Anyhoo, she really has no interest in another kid. When I was expecting, she was the single largest donor of maternity clothes and baby stuff, and made it clear she didn't expect any of it back. In fact, she encouraged me to pass on the stuff as soon as possible. I guess this was to send a message to dad.

Hubby is 46. He makes no bones about the fact that he'd be over the moon for a second baby, but is also quite happy with just Emily. He never thought he'd have a child so having one is astounding to him. The fact that he is the age he is - and that I'm turning 40 in May - tells me that if we're going to have another, we should get on with it. But honestly, I don't have any desire to do this again. Not that I'm not completely in love with Emily, but more the toll this has taken on my body, my physiology, the whole nine yards. I just feel way more tired and anxious than I thought I would. Maybe its just how I'm 'wired', I dunno.

I worry about having regrets....but since I haven't been trying to avoid pregnancy for about 5 years and actively trying for about 2 I'm now worried about whether or not it's possible. I think at this point it's a question of whether I seek help in the matter and I'm kind of scared of investing a lot into that and it not working out, since I think we will be happy and fulfilled without a child and I don't want to have a big letdown if that's the way it's going to be.

(((Robin))) I don't think there's any harm in at least having an assessment with your doctor to see what may be going on (could be you, could be him, could be both). From there, you'd be more informed about what your options would be going forward, and if they're options you'd be at all interested in pursuing, and/or if the 'investment' would be too high.

[Jewel-8 21]

I can think of three people I know off the top of my head who had luck with Clomid. In one case, the couple had been trying for five years.

I was surprised to find out Clomid could be really inexpensive. I think there is even a generic. From what I heard they write that Rx out the first visit to an OB or specialist.

One of the ladies I've met on here tried for 9 months before using ovulation tests and Preseed - both bought at Rite Aid. It did the trick the first month because she was not having some of the signs that the people that chart their fertility see. My plan was to use acupuncture if it didn't happen after a certain time period of trying. The doctor I see has a bulletin board full of birth announcements.

[Justine+David 218]

Trompe, I know, this is totally unsolicited, but have you thought about seeking out a Reproductive Endocrinologist? If you've been trying for at least 12 months (less if you're over 35), you definitely have every reason to see one to see what may be going on. Sometimes it's something more simple like a male factor infertility (like lower sperm count) and you can have an intra-uterine insertion (IUI) which is not very invasive, think: high-tech turkey baster. They're often used in conjunction with Clomid (--> this can also be used for by itself, but generally around 3 cycles because it also tends to dry up cervical fluid needed for the sperm to travel within) And they're not that expensive, a few hundred or so (more if you get hormones). The IVF is the big kicker at about $10k a pop, but even that they now have what's called "mini-IVF" without all the drugs, which is much less expensive.

If you want kids, I'd look into it sooner than later because it's harder to retrieve viable eggs as a woman gets older darn those aging eggs!

and honestly, I would skip the ob/gyn if you can. You may end up with a good one that listens to your concerns and does some standard work-up, but it can be a hit or miss. At least the RE is specifically trained in fertility issues.

Edited January 11, 2011 by Justine+David

[SMB x2 0]

I need to stop lurking in the ROC forums and check in here more often!

Congratulations to all the new parents-to-be and recent little ones coming in to the world! Babies are so tiring, yet so awesome!

We thought I was pregnant with baby #3 (not planned), but that's not the case this time, which is ok. We're planning on trying for baby #3 later this year anyways, if everything goes well. Having two kids already, buying a house, filing for ROC, and buying plane tickets for the UK can really drain a bank account, so we want to get the finances in order again first.

On a side note, our 14 month old has both passports and that worked really well when we traveled to the UK for Christmas. Hubby carried her UK passport and I had her US one, so of course no problems at either border.

Also as an FYI for USC parents with children from previous marriages/relationships, we were asked for a letter from my ex for my 8 year old daughter at UK immigration and also for her birth certificate, since our last name is different from hers. We had the letter giving her permission to travel to the UK, but completely forgot her birth certificate. Fortunately, the border agent let us go through, since we weren't staying very long and it's obvious she is mine, as she looks like my clone, but he said not to forget it next time.

Good luck to all those that are trying for little ones! I'm in my early 30's, but have had a few issues in the past with pregnancies and my doctors were very positive about all the different options that are out there, so don't give up if you're having trouble!

Shan

[Gemmie 142]

Robin, I apologise in advance if you wanted to stay clear of patronising "advice", but have you tried the Fertility and Ovulation kits at stores like CVS? They can give you a predictor of the amount of decent eggs you have and also the time you ovulate each cycle. It might be that you're not ovulating (which I've read a lot, this can happen for different reasons), or that you're ovulating at a different time than you originally thought, especially if your cycle is longer or irregular.

This is going to sound completely weird, as I'm in my 20's, but I've tried the fertility kit and it did put me at ease a little. (When I was a teenager, I went through a period (no pun intended) for a few years where I thought I would never be able to have kids, which upset me a lot because I've always wanted them, but later found out that the problem wasn't there. Because of this uncertainty and fear I had in my teenage years, I think about pregnancy quite a lot, and sometimes I panic that there will be a different problem so I get afraid to get my hopes up).

You've probably already tried that, as well as the books on conception, but I would say those are the first steps before trying something like a doctor, if you do decide you want to go for it. I can totally understand not wanting that crushing feeling of finding out it's not possible as it's a horrible feeling, but I wonder if you'll have more regrets not totally giving it everything.

[Fandango 1,440]

Hi everyone! Jeez, I haven't been here in ages. Congrats to all the new m&ds to be! Robin *hugz*

Love the pics Joyce...she is DARLING!!!!!

Nick is awesome! Sleeps thru the night, plays all the time, just a happy, happy boy, and really well behaved. Put him in his carseat and he falls asleep, lol. He's starting to stand up more (of course with my assistance), he said 'HI!' on two sep occasions in response to me and my dad each saying hi to him...all in all, he's just awesome. He started really smiling a lot on Dec 24th. I was worried because he seemed to be such a serious baby, but I think it had a lot to do with his stomach issues, which are now sorted.

Re: the 2nd child convo...the man and I have decided to start trying come the end of this year. Around Nick's bday (Sept). If it happens, GREAT, if it doesn't, that's great too. I would like Nick to have a sibling, but at the same time...if I'm not pregnant by early/mid 2012, the factory will shut down.

Here's the little man:

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Hi, ladies!

Lisa, Nick is so cute.

I thought I'd say hello and mention that we're still calling Madeleine Limita.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

When my husband and I met for the first time we were both wearing black t-shirts and jeans along with a pair of Converse. Comfy stuff. Glad we are not the only ones still refusing to wear the same type of shoes we wore as teens. He is mid-thirties now so I am certain he will not change.

I still have a few pairs of Chucks in circulation, including a pair of low tops I picked up over the summer, and I'm 37.

I compulsively buy sneakers the way a lot of ladies buy girly shoes.

[TracyTN 237]

Nick IS cute, isn't he?

I'm currently enjoying how expressive Emily is - lots of babbling (dada da da - which makes hubby convinced her first word will be Daddy, LOL), raspberry blowing and just generally talking and laughing a lot. She is a very good baby - has now apparently 'learned' that bedtime is bedtime so no more 20 minutes of protests after we put her down. Or maybe she's just like her mommy and ENJOYS sleeping.

She'll be 7 months old next week - I'm just stunned by how fast it's all gone by!

[Fandango 1,440]

TY ladies

I can't get over it, how fast this has all happened. I remember just yesterday we were all preggos, and how I used to joke when we took him home from the hospital 'Yeah, they just let us take him, aren't they nuts?' lol Cannot believe Em is almost 7 mos! Where does the flipping time go?

Anyhoo, Nick has found his feet. Coincidentally, it's while I'm changing his diaper and he's nakey from the waist down. He'll grab each of his feet and just sit there and laugh.

It reminds me & the man of one of our fave comedian's schtick 'ting-ting' So hubby sees him grabbing his feet, and he starts mimicking the comedian. It's so fricken funny.

this whole clip is pretty funny though

http://comedians.jok...koy---ting-ting

http://comedians.jokes.com/jo-koy/videos/jo-koy---ting-ting

[TracyTN 237]

I know - I can't believe it either. Chas and I just shook our heads about it last night in amazement.

HA!! I love it when they find their feet. Em has been doing that routine (foot in mouth during diaper change) for a while now. All I can think is 'Man I wish I were still that flexible!' You'll find that his feet become a constant state of amazement for him. Em also still likes to grab and stare at hers when she's in her Bumbo as well.