British Bun in the Oven

[TracyTN 237]

Hi all. The MIL visit has been as painful as I expected. She criticized everything about how we feed Emily for 2 days until Chas finally went off on her and threatened to send her home. She has since stopped but the disapproval still lingers. Plus she is hardly involved w/ Em - not one diaper change, barely holds her - it is just the strangest thing to me. We both expected her to barely put her down for two weeks but instead, its as if she can't really be bothered. She is happy to look at her when we hold her, but that's about it. I expected her to be at least some help as an extra set of hands but no. If I can't leave Em w/ her for an hour so I can go to the dentist or the store, what's the point? She leaves Tuesday which frankly can't come fast enough for me...!

Lisa - I did have a final ultrasound at 38 weeks. I think they were just checking her size to see if they needed to induce or not. I am keeping up w/ both you and Empress on FB. You're in the home stretch now!

[Gemmie 142]

I'm really surprised how your MIL is acting. Do you have any idea why? It sounds like you all get on pretty well, I thought she'd be delighted to take part in caring for her grandchild and fussing over her.

[TracyTN 237]

I really don't know, Gemmie. She is just the sort who thinks her way of doing something is the ONLY way - hence the 'feeding conflict'. She has arthritis in her hands and told Chas before she got here that she was afraid to drop Emily - but that shouldn't preclude us from putting Em in her arms once she's sat down. She doesn't even ask us to do that though!

It's just so odd. When we were out at the store and someone would stop us to gawp at Em, she was right there to say 'that's my first grandchild'; but to actually be involved and act like a grandparent? Not so much. It just seems like some kind of show to me - to act all proud and thrilled but when it actually comes to being involved - not so much. On the rare occasions she DOES hold her, she will hand her back the moment Em starts to cry or fuss in the slightest. Isn't that just part of it with babies?

She must be telling her family back home how fussy Emily is too - she read an email to us from Chas' sister who said 'keep being fussy Em - give your parents fits, LOL'. Well, honestly - Emily isn't a fussy baby (everyone who has met her said so). She just mostly cries when she is hungry or wet or fighting sleep. But obviously MIL just thinks she is really fussy - which goes back to her thinking that her formula isn't satiating her. SO frustrating.

[Fandango 1,440]

Wow, Lisa, your due date is fast approaching!! You must be so excited!

I am, but have now developed a healthy fear of the whole 'giving birth' process

[Fandango 1,440]

Hi all. The MIL visit has been as painful as I expected. She criticized everything about how we feed Emily for 2 days until Chas finally went off on her and threatened to send her home. She has since stopped but the disapproval still lingers. Plus she is hardly involved w/ Em - not one diaper change, barely holds her - it is just the strangest thing to me. We both expected her to barely put her down for two weeks but instead, its as if she can't really be bothered. She is happy to look at her when we hold her, but that's about it. I expected her to be at least some help as an extra set of hands but no. If I can't leave Em w/ her for an hour so I can go to the dentist or the store, what's the point? She leaves Tuesday which frankly can't come fast enough for me...!

Lisa - I did have a final ultrasound at 38 weeks. I think they were just checking her size to see if they needed to induce or not. I am keeping up w/ both you and Empress on FB. You're in the home stretch now!

Ouch, sounds painful!!! But thank God she's going soon, and far far away Trans-continental in-laws are the best kind, hahahah.

I had my US already last week. He's 6 lbs already He's already bigger than I was, and I was a week late. But the man is 6'3 so what can I expect? lolz.

[TracyTN 237]

I hear you Lisa! I was PETRIFIED about the giving birth process too. It wasn't fun - I won't lie; but it also probably wasn't as bad as I'd made it out to be. If that helps at all!

Transcontinental does help with the MIL. But honestly I find it depressing that she has made it hard for me to even like her much at this point. If nothing else, we are new parents who are trying hard and want only the best for our child. And yet that child's own grandmother *the one who THANKED me at the airport for this child -- guess that was all for show) can't give us the benefit of the doubt - or at least soften her barbs a bit before laying into us?? That to me is just mean spirited and frankly, I don't know what to do with that. You know?

[Fandango 1,440]

I hear you Lisa! I was PETRIFIED about the giving birth process too. It wasn't fun - I won't lie; but it also probably wasn't as bad as I'd made it out to be. If that helps at all!

Transcontinental does help with the MIL. But honestly I find it depressing that she has made it hard for me to even like her much at this point. If nothing else, we are new parents who are trying hard and want only the best for our child. And yet that child's own grandmother *the one who THANKED me at the airport for this child -- guess that was all for show) can't give us the benefit of the doubt - or at least soften her barbs a bit before laying into us?? That to me is just mean spirited and frankly, I don't know what to do with that. You know?

She's a bit older, yeah? I hear what you're saying, but is there any way you can justify it away in your head as her being just older & ornery? What does Chas think??

[TracyTN 237]

Yeah she's 72. Problem is Chas says this is how she's been his entire life - where her opinion is the right one and if you don't take her 'advice', she gets in a strop and goes for the melodrama (usually crying which she pulled on him when they had the argument). Its a wonder he turned out the way he did. Guess he just knew how NOT to be.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Hi, ladies

How are things? Tracy, is your MIL heading back to England today? (I'm thinking that might be cause for celebration?)

I had my growth scan on Friday, and everything looks fine, including the cord insertion location that had me so worried after the 18-week ultrasound. Limita is measuring normally and is (or was) measuring at 3.5 pounds--she's probably even heavier than that now. I and the husband start a three-part childbirth class tomorrow night. He's not that enthused but is going along with it. He's asked if he can bring a book. I'm scared.

In other news, my sister is hosting a baby shower for me on Sept. 19. It's going to be of the nontraditional variety: there will be boys, booze, and football--or maybe baseball if an interesting pennant race game is on. This is all by my request. I've been to some pretty painful baby showers (embarrassing games, too much squealing, etc.) and wanted to have something a little different and more inclusive. And just because I can't drink a bucket of beer doesn't mean others shouldn't be able to!

What's new with everyone?

[TracyTN 237]

YES she leaves tonight thank god. 6:25 pm to be exact (not that I'm counting the hours or anything...!) Still sleeping at the moment *as is the bambino* so I am enjoying some ME time.

We skipped the whole childbirth class thing, so I will be curious to hear your take on them. Glad all is well w Limita too. That sounds like a SUPER idea for a shower; kind of wish we had done something similar!! Take lots of piccys!!! :D

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Tracy, I'll be finishing Emily's hat this weekend. And Agnes, I owe you the devil hat for Limita -- it's been done for AGES!

Lisa, you're up next!

[Fandango 1,440]

No truer words, Elm

Yay the MIL is gone! Tracy I'm sure you're so relieved now!

Empress, sounds like a great shower! My work had a shower for me yesterday, mid day. Was cool cos Tuesday is our weekly meeting anyways, so most people were already in the office. My broker basically shut down the office and we partied it up! (We have like 50 something agents in my office btw). Anyways, had a great time, Scott was there, my mom was there...all in all, it was a great time and my friends were very very generous.

We were also going to have a 'home' shower for me for all my other friends...after all, who's gonna come to a Tuesday afternoon shower? But with all the confusion of moving and getting settled, Scott's schedule, etc, we never got around to planning it. So I was talking to one of my friends and she suggested an after delivery shower. Like a few weeks later. Which is a great idea, if you ask me. Cos my due date is in 3 weeks and there's not a lot of time left for me to get everything done.

Which leads me to my news tonight....they're inducing me next week! HOLY SMOKES, mentally I am soooooooooo not prepared

eta: no mention on my fb btw...we haven't talked to my inlaws yet!

Edited August 26, 2010 by Happy Bunny

[TracyTN 237]

Eee Lisa! How exciting!!!

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Tracy, you must be enjoying the new reduced level of tension in the household! It looks like my MIL will be coming over around Thanksgiving. I suspect she'll be pretty respectful of how we're doing things, plus she'll be staying at my mother's (the advantage of having a relatively small place w/ no spare bedroom). But she's very excited to be a grandmother. She is the step-grandmother to a 20-year-old, although that family situation is a little complex (i.e., her stepson, my husband's stepbrother, is kind of a #######). Anyhoo, MIL is now expecting two grandchildren within a few months of each other--my SIL is expecting her first baby in January, and they just found out it's a boy. So, at age 68, she'll have a grandson & granddaughter. Bittersweet times, tho, because Pete, her husband of 30-something years (my husband's stepfather), died earlier this month after a very long assortment of illnesses. I'm glad we got to visit England this summer, because it was clear when we left that we likely wouldn't see him again.

We had our first of three childbirth classes last night. Jon was dreading it but admitted afterward that it could have been worse. It's taught by a 60-something-year-old L&D nurse with a pronounced twang and a super-folksy style. She even wore a red & white checkered shirt. She covered a bunch of basic stuff, labor stages, etc. Next week is hospital intervention type stuff, pain management (yes, please), etc., and the third class breathing & general coping, and I think aftercare. The classes are taught at the same hospital where I'll be delivering, so it's useful to get some practical info that's specific to the hospital. What I've learned is that parking is a clusterf*ck, which is pretty annoying considering the hospital isn't exactly in a downtown location where parking is at a premium.

Oh yeah...apparently starting at 37 weeks, I'm supposed to have a non-stress test and a growth ultrasound every week until delivery, all because I'm an ancient 37. The NST is done at my doctor's office, and the ultrasound is done at a perinatal place (the same place I've been going for my other ultrasounds), so that's two days a week, each week. I guess I can't say I'm feeling ignored! I found out at Friday's ultrasound that Limita is in the transverse (i.e., sideways) position but not to worry because in most cases, the baby assumes the head-down position sometime before delivery. Howevah, I'm pretty sure she's been in this position for weeks because I've felt two distinct lumps on either side of my belly for quite a while, which I learned are her head & (I think) her butt. So, she seems to like that position. It's good to know that her position will be monitored, among other things. Honestly, I feel like I've been pregnant for about 10 years--can't believe I still have two months to go. Everyone tells me they'll fly by, but it hasn't happened yet! (*kvetch!*)

Lisa, that's so exciting you'll be meeting you little guy soon!

[TracyTN 237]

I hope your MIL's visit is better than mine. The fact that she isn't staying in your house should help. And she doesn't sound like the type to know it all and think you're a bumbling idiot (and more than happy to tell you that as well). I mean mine was just nearly nasty about it. Hurt my feelings to the point I have no desire to ever really talk to her again in a meaningful way. Of course I'll never tell hubby that, but there it is.

Sounds like the classes are going well. I could have done with a better understanding of the after care. Was just not prepared at all! So I'm glad you're going and will be better informed than me.

Hmm. I am an ancient 39 years old, and I didn't have weekly ultrasounds and non-stress tests at the end! Has your BP been high or? Maybe it just depends on the doctor - and over 35 is technically considered high risk so...maybe mine just doesn't do that unless the mother is having health issues.

I have heard the same about transverse babies - that they often 'right' themselves on their own, particularly in the last few weeks. I bet you'll be fine.

What's funny is Chas wants another and my doc told me that she wouldn't wait much past a year to have one if she were my age. I don't even know where to begin in making that decision. Right now my inclination is no.