I-129F question

[Casper&Diana 0]

A little friendly advice. Take Gary's posts with a grain of salt and a shot of vodka.

There is more to getting a visa than simply doing certain mechanical tasks. You could face administrative review for no clear reason. You could get a difficult consulate officer doing the interview. Your approved visa could be held up for weeks for no clear reason (as someone is currently experiencing). All these things have occurred to real people on this forum. Just be aware that things do happen.

I'm saying this for you to be prepared for any and all events along your visa journey. Yes, follow the USCIS/NVC instructions to the letter. Read the VJ Guides on this site. Ask questions. You will probably be one of the 95% who sail through by simply following the rules. But there are other variables to contend with upon occasion, and you don't control them. Just a little reality check.

Agreed! There does seem to be a bit of "randomness" to the process. Difficult to say what is actually happening sometimes when the process (especially USCIS) is so opaque.

And a shot of vodka is seldom a bad thing!

[JVF 0]

A little friendly advice. Take Gary's posts with a grain of salt and a shot of vodka.

There is more to getting a visa than simply doing certain mechanical tasks. You could face administrative review for no clear reason. You could get a difficult consulate officer doing the interview. Your approved visa could be held up for weeks for no clear reason (as someone is currently experiencing). All these things have occurred to real people on this forum. Just be aware that things do happen.

I'm saying this for you to be prepared for any and all events along your visa journey. Yes, follow the USCIS/NVC instructions to the letter. Read the VJ Guides on this site. Ask questions. You will probably be one of the 95% who sail through by simply following the rules. But there are other variables to contend with upon occasion, and you don't control them. Just a little reality check.

exactly... Our relationship is legit. We love each other and to be together . I provided and will provide them with all the required documents. However, unexplainable things do happen (things you've mentioned above) and I can't control that. How can't you not be paranoid about it? It's a human nature to be worried

[baron555 934]

exactly... Our relationship is legit. We love each other and to be together . I provided and will provide them with all the required documents. However, unexplainable things do happen (things you've mentioned above) and I can't control that. How can't you not be paranoid about it? It's a human nature to be worried

But we all face APs, it's part of the process. Some folks face additional stuff and usually there never is a rhyme or reason but in the end, virtually everyone gets the approval. (Even if this is your fifth K-1 and you're old and trying to bring over a hot young model!!)

So, be patient, stay in tune here and relax but plan for that future.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

A little friendly advice. Take Gary's posts with a grain of salt and a shot of vodka.

There is more to getting a visa than simply doing certain mechanical tasks. You could face administrative review for no clear reason. You could get a difficult consulate officer doing the interview. Your approved visa could be held up for weeks for no clear reason (as someone is currently experiencing). All these things have occurred to real people on this forum. Just be aware that things do happen.

I'm saying this for you to be prepared for any and all events along your visa journey. Yes, follow the USCIS/NVC instructions to the letter. Read the VJ Guides on this site. Ask questions. You will probably be one of the 95% who sail through by simply following the rules. But there are other variables to contend with upon occasion, and you don't control them. Just a little reality check.

Adminstrativce review? So what? 2-3 weeks and it is over. Difficult consulate officer? So what? You have a legitimate relationship well documented, you PREPARED for the difficult consulate officer..right? If you did not it is YOUR fault.

Take ownership of your process, of your life, have confidence in yourself and what you do, prepare and be successful. All of these things have occured and all of these people got visas. Baron555 not only had Ap, he had an adoption to deal with. Who here thinks I had it easy? Really? You think getting a K-2 to follow here is easy? Then getting him a green card IN HAND in under 7 weeks? You think that was luck? By guess and by golly? Lucky me!!!!!! I assure you the exact date he had the interview was planned MONTHS in advance, the date he arrived, the date he filed for AOS, every step of every day was planned in advance...it was NOT easy. On top of that he is college age, which means he is militry duty age, which means we needed his draft registration and his draft deferrment finished before he could go for the visa interview. He got his green card 3 days before he had to return for school. He never missed a single day of classes for this process. If he HAD missed a day of school, or a month...THAT was planned for and porearranged at the school with the dean of students. You think THAT was easy? Difficult consulate officer s have NOTHING over on the Dean of Students at Moscow Physical Technical Institute. It was not easy. I never for one second doubted I could do it and I never for one second thought anyone else could do it for me.

USCIS is not "opaque". So what? You KNOW that, you plan for it, you allow for it.

I NEVER, EVER suggest one plan an "sailing through", that is a bonus for those that prepare for the worst. Anyomne who fails to plan had better plan to fail.

It is my great privialege to report here that all went well in our case, and for that people say "Oh, take what Gary says with a grain of salt because he had it easy" #######???? I had one of the most difficult and complicated cases here, Baron555 may be in the same class between an adoption and AP, and there are a couple other members doing the same thing I did with a lot of my help. One I communicate with daily and just solved a HUGE problem for him at the CSC handling his son's AOS.

My point is that it is UP TO YOU to be prepared, UP TO YOU to handle any problems that come up. Your "fate" is in NO ONE's hands but your own.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Y'know, VV, you often say things in your ignorance or inexperience and take a lot of things for granted, or make a lot of assumptions about other people. When I was beginning my process I asked dozens of questions here...heck I didn't even KNOW there was a K-1 or CR-1 when I asked Alla to marry me. Never even heard of it. I wasn't wife shopping, I hadn't checked these things out, it simply was not an issue to me, none. I did not hesitate to ask Alla to marry me because I KNEW there was a way, there always was, always has been. Do you know how to build a container ship material handling facility in a foreign country in the middle of what was later termed a "revolution"? I didn't either. You think they covered that in "Engineering 101"? I never had any doubt I could do it. On time. Within budget. I have never NOT succeeded at anything I ever undertook to do, difficult, easy, makes no difference. I KNEW I would succeed in marrying the woman I loved and I KNEW there was a way.

It never occurred to me to be worried or nervous that she had two children...BONUS! It never occured to me that we couldn't have our oldest son come later, get his adjustment of status during his short summer recess and return WITH a green card in his hand, without missing a day of class (education is important) I knew there was a way and because I truly believe education is important, I would FIND a way. No one here on VJ could offer advice, because no one here had done it. There still is not a lot of information on K-2s here. Some of the most sage advisors said it wasn't possible. NOT POSSIBLE. BULLSH*T!

Even when I found a way, the experienced members of VJ said "We will believe it when we see it" Well, lookie here...it was done. It was not easy. Another member here, TBoneTx, with whom I have exchanged many differences, (and many agrrements) whom I respect very much because he had about the most difficult case I know of, in a very difficult consulate...he was successful because he did not give up.

There are two ways you will NOT be successful.

1. Your relationship is not legitimate and you get caught at it

2. You run into problems ...and quit. If you quit, you will lose.

This visa business is, compared to life, easy peasy. Even a difficult case. Should I worry that a 13 year old will come to the US with little English ability and fail in school? Fail to have friends, make the adjustment to life here at a critical time in his life? No. Not just no...HELL NO! Why? Because I am going to spend hours with him every day helping him with his homework, teaching him English (in addition to what he had in school) and do WHATEVER is necessary. Two months later he is double promoted, and just made the "High Honor Roll" for the 2nd year and he is 2 years ahead in class...and at the same time taught Alla to drive, handled the K-2 to follow without a hitch (or at least handled all the hitches so they did not affect our son or his education). I introduced him to shooting, fishing, skiing, rock climbing, basketball, lacrosse, baseball, took him to basketball practice, picked him up, waited for him to finish, went to his games so he knew someone cared (I don't even like basketball) took him to dances, parties, etc. At this time most of these things were occuring 1 hour from our home, but I took him and waited while he was at the party. I spoke with many of my VJ friends on the phone during this time, many of them heard me say "Oh, just killing time, waiting for Pasha at a dance" What are you prepared to do?

WHAT ARE YOU PREPARED TO DO?

I like to hear from Baron on his progress because I know he went through a lot. I know he handles things like I did, I know because my Alla met his Alla in Moscow last summer. I know he is a blessed man and has a young son also, and I like his reports that it is, so far, a "happy movie". I do not think for a second Baron has it "easy". Heck no, but he has confidence and I do not think he ever thought that "one person had his fate in their hands" Give me a break. I remember talking to Baron all last summer when he was going through the adoption process and there seemed to be one hurdle after another, he was never discouraged, never gave up, never thought for one second it wouldn't happen. He just had to do the next step, wait the next period of time, wait for the next court action. Prepare the next documents.

Congratulations Baron! You knew what you wanted, you grabbed the knobs and turned them until you got what you wanted. Big surprise.

So does someone read his pleasnet reports and think "Oh, Baron555, yeah, he has it easy" He doesn;t and didn't "have it easy", he is HAPPY in life because he has what he wants because he did what he needed to to get it.

Casper and Diana...now Casper is a lucky dude! ("he has it easy" ) He is getting a son too, and believe me that can be such a great blessing. He seems like the type that will do the right thing...and he will be very pleased he did. Casper...make it your pleasure in life...and you will always be a happy man, your wife will always be a happy woman.

ANYONE can do the same.

In case you couldn't tell, I like confident people, I can't stand a whiner. I wouldn't give you a hoot in hell for a guy that hesitates to do what is necessary to get something done. I have no need for him, he will be of no use when you really need him. whenever these whiners that do nothing but send in a petition and then stare at the clock on the wall and say "woe is me", come around and say "but it is really scarey how someone else has control of your fate"...well, I just want the VOMIT ICON!

DO NOT listen to people that tell you you can't. We are here to help you with your journey and can offer a lot of advice on a lot of issues you will encounter and the MOST IMPORTANT piece of advice is...YOU are in control. No one else. Start from there and you will be fine.

Besides, FSU women REALLY like a man in control that they can count on. Makes them HOT!

Dream no small dreams, they have no spirit to stir the soul, and in themselves will usually not be realized.

But we all face APs, it's part of the process. Some folks face additional stuff and usually there never is a rhyme or reason but in the end, virtually everyone gets the approval. (Even if this is your fifth K-1 and you're old and trying to bring over a hot young model!!)

So, be patient, stay in tune here and relax but plan for that future.

It was your 5th, Phil????? I am even more impressed!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

exactly... Our relationship is legit. We love each other and to be together . I provided and will provide them with all the required documents. However, unexplainable things do happen (things you've mentioned above) and I can't control that. How can't you not be paranoid about it? It's a human nature to be worried

We also have the thought process. We know that "worry" is a worthless endeavor. Worry cannot change the outcome of anything. Worriers WATCH the world go 'round. Thinkers and do-ers MAKE the world go 'round.

Do not worry...do. Document all your communication, visits, document your relationship. GO to the interview in Kiev...you can...so DO. Don't ask, don't think about it...JUST DO IT. Plan for it now. Show up with so much evidence they laugh at you...and ask for none of it. Carry it out with a smile on your face and a visa in your hand. STUDY the documents needed for a petition and send them in. Then you can come back and VisaVeteran will tell everyone how "easy" you had it. Ok, deal.

You are worried about a foreign passport and a birth certificate for your fiancee...WHY? It IS NOT NEEDED for the petition. Why worry? LEARN. Worry is such an unnecessary and worthless emotion and beneficial to no one. Yes, it is "nature", so is taking a dump, but we control that also. Prepare your documents for the interview NOW, get everything ready...it helps to pass the itme. Read the informative forums not the "petition progress report forums" Who gives a flying #### that some else got an NOA2 153 days after they filed. I NEVER looked at that sh*t and NEVER mentioned such things to my fiancee. Not to sound rude, but of what value is that to you? How does that help you or her? th epeition wil BE APPROVED...eventually. It will occur on a different imeline than everyone else. That is all you need to know about that.

What is the worst that can happen? Do you have a legitimate relationship? Then, you will get approved OR you will get an RFE. Those are the only choices. What happens if you get an RFE? You answer it and THEN you get approved. Does it delay your case? YES. An RFE delays your case, nothing to "worry about"...it does. Can you live with that? I thought so. Stop worrying.

Study the guides, ask questions about the I-134, learn what you need for evidence, learn what others used for evidence, study the AOS process...that will be next. You will worry less and be prepared more. PLUS Kiev is one of the few consulates where preparing ahead actually makes a difference and you can shave weeks off the process by being prepared in advance. I didn't know that when I started the process, I learned it by reading about the consulates in the consualte forums. saved me 4 weeks at least. Reading random whining will do nothing for you.

[visaveteran 1]

Gary, you really need to read the posts better. I did not say you or anyone else had it easy. I don't think this visa thing is ever "easy."

And I continue to notice that you always want to personalize other posters general comments to your specific situation or milieu. Like every comment is somehow always about you. Grandiosity or insecurity?

You also often miss the central point. Most of how the visa process goes is up to the filers but there are independent variables. For instance, my wife had a nightmare experience during her med exam that she had nothing to do with or could never have planned for. Others have reported similar crazy or traumatic things that come up that there is no way to plan for or avoid by diligently filling out and sending in forms or reading instructions. Sometimes you have to deal with "Murphy's Law." The character building from this visa process comes, not from initiative, but response to unexpected challenges that can show up despite people's best efforts to dodge them.

It's obvious to most adults that personal initiative and attention to detail are critical for success in this and any endeavor...so you can tone down the football coach lectures. And I think we got your message the first 4 times you said it.

Finally, I personally find it tacky to drag other posters into your misbegotten posts. Like Baron for instance. Maybe he doesn't want his adoption or his visa situation revealed or discussed by you? If Baron wants to join in, he will do so, I have no doubt. But you're not his spokesman. You can speak for one poster...and that's you, Gary. Name dropping or pulling others into you off base or offbeat posts is bad form, IMO.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Gary, you really need to read the posts better. I did not say you or anyone else had it easy. I don't think this visa thing is ever "easy."

And I continue to notice that you always want to personalize other posters general comments to your specific situation or milieu. Like every comment is somehow always about you. Grandiosity or insecurity?

You also often miss the central point. Most of how the visa process goes is up to the filers but there are independent variables. For instance, my wife had a nightmare experience during her med exam that she had nothing to do with or could never have planned for. Others have reported similar crazy or traumatic things that come up that there is no way to plan for or avoid by diligently filling out and sending in forms or reading instructions. Sometimes you have to deal with "Murphy's Law." The character building from this visa process comes, not from initiative, but response to unexpected challenges that can show up despite people's best efforts to dodge them.

It's obvious to most adults that personal initiative and attention to detail are critical for success in this and any endeavor...so you can tone down the football coach lectures. And I think we got your message the first 4 times you said it.

Finally, I personally find it tacky to drag other posters into your misbegotten posts. Like Baron for instance. Maybe he doesn't want his adoption or his visa situation revealed or discussed by you? If Baron wants to join in, he will do so, I have no doubt. But you're not his spokesman. You can speak for one poster...and that's you, Gary. Name dropping or pulling others into you off base or offbeat posts is bad form, IMO.

I mentioned my admiration for a couple other people and how they handled things. I make no apologies for saying good words about people. If Baron doesn't want me to repeat it, he can say so here or in a PM. It is certainly no better for YOU to decide what should or should not be said regarding Baron.

I responded to a post that mentioned me by name and directed another poster to take what I say with a grain of salt as not everyone has it easy. And now I am only imagining you meant me?

From what I read on a lot of forums at this site it is not obvious to most adults that personal initiatve has anything to do with it. If the whiners in the "progress" forums want to talk that way...fine. This is the RUB forum where dozens of people that have been to these places first help others doing the same thing. Not where clock watchers gather to watch clocks, and whine about clocks moving slowly. Forgive me all to hell for beleiving in individual initiatve and encouraging people to believe in themselves.

[JVF 0]

We also have the thought process. We know that "worry" is a worthless endeavor. Worry cannot change the outcome of anything. Worriers WATCH the world go 'round. Thinkers and do-ers MAKE the world go 'round.

Do not worry...do. Document all your communication, visits, document your relationship. GO to the interview in Kiev...you can...so DO. Don't ask, don't think about it...JUST DO IT. Plan for it now. Show up with so much evidence they laugh at you...and ask for none of it. Carry it out with a smile on your face and a visa in your hand. STUDY the documents needed for a petition and send them in. Then you can come back and VisaVeteran will tell everyone how "easy" you had it. Ok, deal.

You are worried about a foreign passport and a birth certificate for your fiancee...WHY? It IS NOT NEEDED for the petition. Why worry? LEARN. Worry is such an unnecessary and worthless emotion and beneficial to no one. Yes, it is "nature", so is taking a dump, but we control that also. Prepare your documents for the interview NOW, get everything ready...it helps to pass the itme. Read the informative forums not the "petition progress report forums" Who gives a flying #### that some else got an NOA2 153 days after they filed. I NEVER looked at that sh*t and NEVER mentioned such things to my fiancee. Not to sound rude, but of what value is that to you? How does that help you or her? th epeition wil BE APPROVED...eventually. It will occur on a different imeline than everyone else. That is all you need to know about that.

What is the worst that can happen? Do you have a legitimate relationship? Then, you will get approved OR you will get an RFE. Those are the only choices. What happens if you get an RFE? You answer it and THEN you get approved. Does it delay your case? YES. An RFE delays your case, nothing to "worry about"...it does. Can you live with that? I thought so. Stop worrying.

Study the guides, ask questions about the I-134, learn what you need for evidence, learn what others used for evidence, study the AOS process...that will be next. You will worry less and be prepared more. PLUS Kiev is one of the few consulates where preparing ahead actually makes a difference and you can shave weeks off the process by being prepared in advance. I didn't know that when I started the process, I learned it by reading about the consulates in the consualte forums. saved me 4 weeks at least. Reading random whining will do nothing for you.

Thank you Gary. You have always been giving me very valuable advices.

[visaveteran 1]

Gary, I heard they're asking for you over in the Canadian and UK forums. They need some more of your pearls of wisdom. Why don't you give them a pep talk and tell them about Vermont. Or help get a thread locked. You know, make yourself useful.

Edited June 11, 2010 by visaveteran

[baron555 934]

Thank you Gary. You have always been giving me very valuable advices.

Nothing Gary says about us I haven't already revealed on VJ, so no problems there.

And just to mention our dealing with an adoption during the K-1 didn't involve me directly; Alla was trying to adopt little Leonid as a single mother from within the Russian Adoption system. You wanna talk about being difficult? You wanna talk about your entire fate being decided by one person? You wanna talk about uncertainty? You wanna talk about ME being prepared and planning evey move for a successful K-1/K-2? Let's talk about my lovely wife who all alone had to engage and work this system. If she could seize that system by the throat and do everything unhumanly possible to obtain that adoption, then any of us here in the US can work our much more efficient and much more particular system to realize their desired gains.

Luck comes with hard work. Believe it, live it.

And yes, except that CSC seems to have lost us and nothing on the GCs yet, (we do have the APs and EADs so no real issues), everything continues to be a "happy movie"!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Nothing Gary says about us I haven't already revealed on VJ, so no problems there.

And just to mention our dealing with an adoption during the K-1 didn't involve me directly; Alla was trying to adopt little Leonid as a single mother from within the Russian Adoption system. You wanna talk about being difficult? You wanna talk about your entire fate being decided by one person? You wanna talk about uncertainty? You wanna talk about ME being prepared and planning evey move for a successful K-1/K-2? Let's talk about my lovely wife who all alone had to engage and work this system. If she could seize that system by the throat and do everything unhumanly possible to obtain that adoption, then any of us here in the US can work our much more efficient and much more particular system to realize their desired gains.

Luck comes with hard work. Believe it, live it.

And yes, except that CSC seems to have lost us and nothing on the GCs yet, (we do have the APs and EADs so no real issues), everything continues to be a "happy movie"!

I didn't mean to slight Alla in anything I said. I know she worked hard and I consider "baron555" to be both of you. Anyway, the point was, and she helps make it, that when a person is determined you can work through anything. The only people that lose or fail are those that quit.

I think you will get your green cards soon.

[visaveteran 1]

You wanna talk about being difficult? You wanna talk about your entire fate being decided by one person? You wanna talk about uncertainty? You wanna talk about ME being prepared and planning evey move for a successful K-1/K-2? Let's talk about my lovely wife who all alone had to engage and work this system. If she could seize that system by the throat and do everything unhumanly possible to obtain that adoption, then any of us here in the US can work our much more efficient and much more particular system to realize their desired gains.

Baron, I think you're wife's struggles with the Russian bureaucracy is the kind of thing I refer to. You can do everything right, dot your "I" and cross your "T" and still maybe end up dealing with the unexpected and unknown or a one-person road block. And, yes, the wives have it tougher...especially in your case. I'm glad you still have a "happy movie." Fortunately, most folks end up with a happy movie by and by.

I'm not saying a good, positive "can do" attitude is not an asset...I'm just saying that glib, pompous pep talks about not paying attention to others struggles ("the whiners" as Gary calls them) is not wise. Listen up to others stories and you won't get caught flat footed. And you won't feel so alone in your angst if something goes wrong with an AR, med exam, hard azz interviewer, or POE problem, etc.

In fact, just recently a number of posters mentioned an especially difficult female interviewer. To some this might seem like "whining" but to me it was good data and a helpful alert for those facing interviews soon.

Work hard, follow instructions carefully, be patient, keep your eye on the prize...and watch out for land mines too.

Edited June 11, 2010 by visaveteran