The Vent Part Quatre

[Ban Hammer 13,344]

a bit late, but my vent

thursday evening, i went out on the back deck to have a cig - and what do i find? a cat looking at me. next thing i know, i have a happy kitty all over my ankles, just a purring away. (meanwhile, nessa's cat is just inside the door raising holy hell, wanting to run that intruder off).

so i get the kitty, take it down to our neighborhood "cat lady" to take care of, she's got it now. it's a fairly young cat, i'd guess not more than about 4-5 months, and based on the way it was acting around me, it's not a wild cat either but from a home. my guess - it's that time of year around here where people from the base are dumping pets out in the county again as the current cgsc class just graduated friday.

[Pauley 2]

So I work in Moorestown which is known to be pretty upscale, hence why I don't live here Anyways my coworker was telling me that there's a ghetto here and I was like: "No there's not! What makes it ghetto!?" and she says with the straightest face: "Because the houses there are only worth $500,000.00!"

If that's ghetto I sure as hell must live in the slums...

One of the reasons Yvonne was happy to move to Rochester as opposed to staying in Toronto -- the money we're planning to put into a house would get us a somewhat cramped condo in the sky in TO.

[Sprailenes 47]

So last month while we were moving our state tax refund cheque was misplaced.. probably thrown away accidentally... I don't know. I told my husband to call them, it would take a bit but they could cancel the one they sent and send us a new one. He said: "No, you can't do that" I said: "Yea we can... we just have to call" and he said "No it doesn't work like that" So instead of arguing I just let it go. Well I guess my husband talked to his father about it this weekend and then asks me this morning: "Can you call the state and get a new cheque?"

I suggested we do this last month. Oh yea I forgot, I don't know what I'm talking about and his dad does right? I am sure he didn't argue with his dad about this... he listened and took it as fact.

Sometimes I think there's no point in even talking... from now on I'll just say: "Go ask your daddy"

[lgg 2]

Word on that. How come it seems that everyone knows better except for us???? Huh?

So last month while we were moving our state tax refund cheque was misplaced.. probably thrown away accidentally... I don't know. I told my husband to call them, it would take a bit but they could cancel the one they sent and send us a new one. He said: "No, you can't do that" I said: "Yea we can... we just have to call" and he said "No it doesn't work like that" So instead of arguing I just let it go. Well I guess my husband talked to his father about it this weekend and then asks me this morning: "Can you call the state and get a new cheque?"

I suggested we do this last month. Oh yea I forgot, I don't know what I'm talking about and his dad does right? I am sure he didn't argue with his dad about this... he listened and took it as fact.

Sometimes I think there's no point in even talking... from now on I'll just say: "Go ask your daddy"

[Sprailenes 47]

I don't know but it really peeves me off and perhaps I'm being childish but I just said: "No you can call them now, I offered to fix this LAST MONTH..."

[The_Dude 1,142]

So last month while we were moving our state tax refund cheque was misplaced.. probably thrown away accidentally... I don't know. I told my husband to call them, it would take a bit but they could cancel the one they sent and send us a new one. He said: "No, you can't do that" I said: "Yea we can... we just have to call" and he said "No it doesn't work like that" So instead of arguing I just let it go. Well I guess my husband talked to his father about it this weekend and then asks me this morning: "Can you call the state and get a new cheque?"

I suggested we do this last month. Oh yea I forgot, I don't know what I'm talking about and his dad does right? I am sure he didn't argue with his dad about this... he listened and took it as fact.

Sometimes I think there's no point in even talking... from now on I'll just say: "Go ask your daddy"

LoL, i've done this before, as has my wife.

[ashenflowers 5]

OMG... that happens to me quite frequently. Especially in the last few months. Usually about job-hunting strategies and suggestions for my husband. His dad would suggest something I put out there a month ago and he never did anything about. SIGH.

But it's funny when it happens that a friend back home sends us links to random places that are hiring, without us asking her to... she's just one of those people that likes to help whether you want it or not... and we can say 'yep, he applied there, oh, applied there too, yep was supposed to interview there, but they bailed'. lol Seriously.

[Krikit 1,164]

I am not going to list the many things that have made me want to scream out in frustration this year.

I am not going to list the many things that have made me want to cry.

My aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer today.

My heart aches.

[Marilyn. 340]

(((Krikit)))

[ashenflowers 5]

Oh, Krikit.... *hugs*

[Danu 19]

Oh dear, my thoughts are with you and your family.

[Sam and Ben 2]

Krikit, my thoughts and prayers with you and the family. I'm so sorry.

[lgg 2]

Krikit...

I'm so sorry to hear that. My good vibes are being sent...

LGG

I am not going to list the many things that have made me want to scream out in frustration this year.

I am not going to list the many things that have made me want to cry.

My aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer today.

My heart aches.

[lgg 2]

My vent is kind of an odd one. I've been in the US now for about 3 months and change... it's going well and I find myself progressing at a nice solid, albeit slow, pace. Everything's great with my husband and family but, my vent is this... since I've lived here, or even before, I have found that I have 'lost' my two best friends. Neither one has said, 'this is a result of your leaving..." but it feels as such. One I lost before I actually moved -- she refused to give me an wriggle room to deal with the fear, anxiety and sheer work that had to be put into this venture. Her theory is/was 'you're getting what you want, you have no right to be stressed or freaking out and I don't have time to deal with you..." Don't get me wrong, I was mostly fine and really, did nothing that I would be ashamed of to her. I basically just needed some room to not give her the undivided attention to her woes that I'd had for so long with no complaint. I dealt with her for the 10 solid years after her dad died and she took to verbal abuse and drinking. I never once told her that I didn't have time to deal with her . I needed her to give me a bit of a boost during my time of stress. Her theory was, I don't want to talk to you about immigration and such as you're leaving me.

The second friendship has always been flakey, flakey person but loved her with all my heart. She wanted me to take a trip to NYC with her into the first month I moved here. I was NOT ready. I didn't have money coming in yet and I just got here -- I needed time to feel my way around and settle. This was not good enough as her theory was, you have your husband, you don't need to worry about money. Uh, no, I do as no one has ever taken care of me and no one will -- that's my job and I need to figure out how to do that here now.

So, now that I'm here and I'm driving and have a car and am actually feeling like I'm settled, I'm missing my two best friends to share this with and am sad that for some reason I just wasn't given the time or space to settle into this new life. I don't care what anyone says, despite the love and happiness of being with yoru partner, this is NOT the easiest thing to do.

Has anyone else had to deal with this? IT's kind of heartbreaking. I think about it a lot especially since now I'm moving forward and stuff and feel like I can take a trip to see people now, that I want to and that I'm ready to. I have good friends still and have made a couple of awesome new ones but it's just really weird that this move has caused me to lose the ones that I thought were going to be there for the long haul.

Thanks for letting me vent. It's my only real issue these days and I wanted to get it out there to people I know understand. People who have not done this sort of thing do NOT.

Thanks, VJ friends.

LGG

Edited June 15, 2010 by lgg

[Colleens 40]

I am not going to list the many things that have made me want to scream out in frustration this year.

I am not going to list the many things that have made me want to cry.

My aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer today.

My heart aches.

I am sorry to hear that Krikit. My sister was diagnosed at the beginning of this year. It is definitely tough news to hear, my thoughts are with you.