How to deal

[gumbi2400 1]

First off, I apologize if this is in the wrong forum.

My wife and I (her english, me american) just got marreid on the 28th of May. We are just waiting now for the marriage certificate so we can apply for the CR 1. She leaves tomorrow, and I just don't know how to deal with it. It hurts more than the last time. And I know most of you on here have had similar experiences. But how did you deal with being away from the love of your life for so long. How do I keep pushing on and going to work everyday, not knowing when I will be allowed to see her again. How do we keep a marriage alive being so far apart?

Any help at all would be appreciated. If nothing else its nice to know we aren't alone.

[Me and You Us 1]

Hello my Friend!

Welcome on Board!!!

You can start your Journey reading the "GUIDE" up above...You will be able to find so many good advise.

We are all here to help each other, start to collect the docs. and fill out the forms (a lot)....Get Ready!!!

http://www.visajourney.com/content/guides

Good Luck to you both!!

Adriana & Henry

[JohnandMyrein 0]

I just stay in daily contact using the phone and internet. It is very difficult at times when you want to hold the person you love and cannot. The upside is that it seems to strengthen the bond we have and we definitely learn to communicate well because that is all we have to go on. Best of Luck! Your not Alone!

[Cheyemo 8]

You are definitely not alone! I haven't seen my husband in almost a year. It isn't easy but calling, texting, emailing, all make it a little more bareable. As the previous posted said, the communication gets a lot deeper because each moment is precious. That is a definite plus. You also have to learn to communicate a bit more clearly as you don't want any misunderstandings because emotions are already running high during this process!

You will certainly spend alot on phone services! Pick a good provider.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

First off, I apologize if this is in the wrong forum.

My wife and I (her english, me american) just got marreid on the 28th of May. We are just waiting now for the marriage certificate so we can apply for the CR 1. She leaves tomorrow, and I just don't know how to deal with it. It hurts more than the last time. And I know most of you on here have had similar experiences. But how did you deal with being away from the love of your life for so long. How do I keep pushing on and going to work everyday, not knowing when I will be allowed to see her again. How do we keep a marriage alive being so far apart?

Any help at all would be appreciated. If nothing else its nice to know we aren't alone.

She's from England, what is the question about "allowed"? She is "allowed" to visit any time she wants, it is a VWP country.

What I did was visit HER every 6 weeks or so because my wife was NOT allowed to visit. Airfare from England to the US is relatively cheap, almost free, compared to many places.

Visit, call, skype.

[gumbi2400 1]

I understand that technically she is allowed to enter the US. However, I have heard that it can be very difficult crossing the border with an CR1 in process.

As for the visa itself, I have a huge packet put together, all I need now is a copy of my marriage certificate, and it will be ready to go.

I put her on the plane today, and It felt like my insides were being ripped out. I can't help but feel a little angry at the process itself. I wish there were some way to speed it up. Its like you said JohnandMyrein, the hardest part is just wanting to hold the other person and not being able to. I just can't believe that after 6 months of finding a job and saving, I still have another 6 months or so to go.

I know the pain will dull a bit, but it feels so fresh, and so impossible now. I just know I have to some how keep on going. It is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, and I would do anything to be with her again.

[Krikit 1,164]

The great thing about time is that it passes. And, when you get to where you are meant to be, it will seem like no time at all.

My perspective comes from having lost a loved one and never having the ability to see him again. Ever. That is how I put things in perspective. Just look at it knowing that you WILL see each other again. I know it's painful. But you adjust and you learn how to live with it. You will grow in many ways during this process. It's very character-building. lol

[Aubrey 10]

How to deal... well, it's been asked a lot on VJ. The waiting game is by far the worst part of your journey. If you do want to do visits, be sure the non-USC has lots of documentation to prove he/she is returning to their country. Too many people have posted here about being turned around at POE for lacking that evidence (home ownership, property, letter of employment, bank accounts, etc.).

When visiting isn't an option:

1) get a webcam, if you can. I would have gone crazy without it during my husband's visa journey.

2) talk about it. don't let your feelings bottle up.

3) find a new hobby, work extra hours, or find some other healthy way to keep busy. When you're busy, the time goes by faster and you won't think so much about the hurt.

4) find your month/group on VJ and post. Make some new friends. It helps to share with others who understand. Most people out there didn't "get" it expect my fellow VJ'rs.

5) plan your future together. it's often the last thing people remember to do. living together, even if you've done it before, is not the same as an international relationship.

Best wishes, and hang in there on your journey.

[JohnandMyrein 0]

I understand that technically she is allowed to enter the US. However, I have heard that it can be very difficult crossing the border with an CR1 in process.

As for the visa itself, I have a huge packet put together, all I need now is a copy of my marriage certificate, and it will be ready to go.

I put her on the plane today, and It felt like my insides were being ripped out. I can't help but feel a little angry at the process itself. I wish there were some way to speed it up. Its like you said JohnandMyrein, the hardest part is just wanting to hold the other person and not being able to. I just can't believe that after 6 months of finding a job and saving, I still have another 6 months or so to go.

I know the pain will dull a bit, but it feels so fresh, and so impossible now. I just know I have to some how keep on going. It is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, and I would do anything to be with her again.

I understand. I was physically ill for about two weeks and I still have bouts of depression. You will break down here and there. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Hang in there! Best Regards. John.