How to deal with the down time

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Now darling, I thought we'd already talked about how you are to keep your phone with you at all times and answer my calls on the first ring, meeting or no meeting!

(Kidding, just wanted to ruffle Elmcitymaven's feathers. )

Ha bloody ha, Julian. Believe me, my feathers stay unruffled. I'm sure I forget my phone in the car just as often as Melissa (perhaps even more) -- it's hardly a hanging offence.

[TracyTN 237]

This is dumb, but I used the time to research the AOS process. When he got here, I had pretty much the entire package ready except for the copies of things I needed from him (and the marriage certificate). All he had to do was sign the forms.

[Jewel-8 21]

This is dumb, but I used the time to research the AOS process. When he got here, I had pretty much the entire package ready except for the copies of things I needed from him (and the marriage certificate). All he had to do was sign the forms.

I made sure I had the W2s and tax documents ready, but I wanted him to help as well. I probably spent several days before he got here trying to figure out how the paperwork needed to be put together. The day I picked up the copy of the marriage license we did it all in about 3 hours. He was all about, "TEAM McC* rocks!!"

*His last name.

[Rob and Jill 82]

This is dumb, but I used the time to research the AOS process. When he got here, I had pretty much the entire package ready except for the copies of things I needed from him (and the marriage certificate). All he had to do was sign the forms.

I don't think that is dumb at all. I've been doing that myself.

I've also been trying to make room for him. I need to clean out closets, find a PC desk for him, clean my room in general, and take down some of my knick knacks so he will have room for his. I'm also working on a big fat "honey do" list for him while he is here and waiting on the paperwork to go through so he can work! LOL.

[Jewel-8 21]

I don't think that is dumb at all. I've been doing that myself.

I've also been trying to make room for him. I need to clean out closets, find a PC desk for him, clean my room in general, and take down some of my knick knacks so he will have room for his. I'm also working on a big fat "honey do" list for him while he is here and waiting on the paperwork to go through so he can work! LOL.

The honey do list is a great idea. Painting seems to be a common job everyone does while they're not working for 3-5 months.

I wish my honey liked to read, we have a massive library in downtown SLC. Another thing was I tried to find as many things as possible that we could do together when he finally got here. There's a folder in my filing cabinet with 'date ideas' like local attractions. It helped me pass the time to pick up vacation brochures to places close by like Yellowstone, Moab, etc..

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

He was all about, "TEAM McC* rocks!!"

*His last name.

I keep reading this as "TEAM McCOCKS!!"

[Darnell 8,478]

Stuff I've done:

Gardening on 2 acre plot o land

Writing some books and a novel, a few tv screenplays

exercise (this was important )

revisit old hobbies

do stuff with my fraternity and Boy Scouts and Church

practice Chinese with my father.

[Rob and Jill 82]

Another thing was I tried to find as many things as possible that we could do together when he finally got here. There's a folder in my filing cabinet with 'date ideas' like local attractions

That;s a fantastic idea Jewel. I am sure that would help keep some of the fun in it when you are looking forward to what you will do instead of what you have done. I love it!

Yeah, I don't really get home early enough to do a lot of the outdoor projects that need to be handled right now, and I spend most of the weekends shopping or running errands, so I don't have a lot of outdoor time there either. I hate paying people for something I can do myself....hence his honey do list...LOL. He's been great any time he came to visit helping with chores and such while I was working, so he's been telling me now to get ideas together for him so he'll have stuff to do until he can work.

[Jewel-8 21]

He's been great any time he came to visit helping with chores and such while I was working, so he's been telling me now to get ideas together for him so he'll have stuff to do until he can work.

That ends when you say "I Do" unless you write it into the prenup or vows...

exercise (this was important )

I think the exercise is the most important. There was so much stress during the K-1 that I was ready to tear my hair out.

Edited June 7, 2010 by Jewel-8

[yankepeach 2]

WOW. I am stunned and very very happy to know I am not the only absolutely mad person out there! Yes we leave skype on 24/7 even when we aren't home. We cry as that hateful day approaches. We watch movies (legally of course wink wink) by pushing the play button at the same time. We play games like 20 questions and more. Anything to kill the times. We eat dinner together (supper for me). His honey do list....now that one I cant do too well as I don't know a Phillips from a flat head or a saw from a hammer. (my hammer?...a high heeled shoe. Screw driver....a butter knife.) Sides.....taking him to Lowes or Home Depot is like taking a kid to the toy store. We also count the days which indeed does drive us bonkers.

Thank you all for sharing. Sometimes just knowing that we are not alone is a band aid that can get us through with a little more strength then we had with out that knowledge.

[MelissaJulian 30]

You're definitely not alone!

[Rob and Jill 82]

That ends when you say "I Do" unless you write it into the prenup or vows...

Memo to me. Write it in the vows ahahahahaaa!

[gumbi2400 1]

Thank you all so much for this thread!

My wife and I just got married in Vegas after 6 months apart, and she had to leave today to go back to the UK so we can start on the CR1. I have to say it was harder than the last time I left.

That being said I will be filing my I130 as soon as the marriage certificate gets here (stupid NV and their taking ages to process!).

I have to say I hope this all goes by quickly. It's been rough, but its nice to know that I'm not the only one.

On a related note, does anyone that is going through the CR1 process have experience in visiting the UK? Any problems crossing the border? I would lik eto visit in a few months, since from what I hear its near impossible for her to come here.

[Christi and Ian 24]

Thank you all so much for this thread!

My wife and I just got married in Vegas after 6 months apart, and she had to leave today to go back to the UK so we can start on the CR1. I have to say it was harder than the last time I left.

That being said I will be filing my I130 as soon as the marriage certificate gets here (stupid NV and their taking ages to process!).

I have to say I hope this all goes by quickly. It's been rough, but its nice to know that I'm not the only one.

On a related note, does anyone that is going through the CR1 process have experience in visiting the UK? Any problems crossing the border? I would lik eto visit in a few months, since from what I hear its near impossible for her to come here.

My hubby left in September and I made plans to visit him over Christmas. I brought every immigration document I could think of, and plenty of stuff showing I intended to return to the US, including my request for time off from work, showing the date I intended to return.

When I spoke to the immigration officer at the airport, he asked me what my plans were - I told him to visit hubby and to meet my in-laws - and that was it - he stamped my passport - and I went in.

Our journey is almost at its temporary end - hubby has his interview tomorrow and intends to buy a plane ticket the moment he receives his visa. It's been 9 months since he left, and if it weren't for Skype, I probably would have gone insane by now.

[KaiserD 12]

I found that the saying "its always harder for the person left behind" was totally true. I just had to keep thinking to myself that all the emotion that we were/are both going through will make us that so much stronger when the day we get to be together forever comes around.

Oh wow yes, every time I came to visit I cried at the airport as I was leaving but it was forcing me to deal with the loss there and then. When he came to visit me and left, it was like this big hole where he had been. It was like half of me felt he had just popped out for 30 mins because it couldn't imagine him not being there and yet at the same time I knew he wasn't coming back, it really sucked. I would be like a zombie for a good week or so and everyone hated being around me lol

At some point I was being treated for depression (unrelated lol) and my GP, who is a great man, reminded me it was important to live in the present and not keep waiting for the future to happen. I hope everyone who is waiting to be reunited with their love ones don't forget to take care of their needs (such as social life) in the mean time, getting out and experiencing life. Besides the more engaged your are day to day, the faster your wait will be over.