Help my language please !!!

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

You disappoint me, Maven. I thought you just wanted a shag.

KRIKIT!

(not in front of you know who)

I am a good harlot who needs to make an early train.

[Captain Oates 911]

Well, I did see him across the bar. I managed to dodge him for three days but on the last one... We had a perfectly civil chat. When he remarked I wasn't wearing my ring I told him that I was splitting up. He raised his eyebrows and told him I was happy. He asked how California was and I asked about London and although he asked me to join him and his colleagues for a beer I said no, because I knew that way led to a hotel room that wasn't my own, and my train is at 8.30am so it was never going to happen. I told him to get in touch, but I doubt he will, and I am just fine with that.

I told him I was saving myself for a big strapping Yorkshireman who had ginger biccies for me anyway.

You hussy ! so if you had had a later train you would have climbed the stairs !!!!

arrghh floooooosy !

jeez you have some fence mending to do

I need your support on 10 threads when I say stupid things - THAT is your penalty.

Mental infidelty might as well be all the way....

Any more floosying and I am off with the owl and owls don't stop til dawn !

early train indeed grr grr huh huh grrrr jeez cor humph

[Krikit 1,164]

Well, I don't know why you're worried about you-know-who. He is obviously four-timing you.

[Captain Oates 911]

Well, I don't know why you're worried about you-know-who. He is obviously four-timing you.

msnbc reporter DOVE into the gulf and DRUG himself back onto the boat !!!

Oh my sensibilities - its like I've sat on em. Just going to kill myself - back later

4 timing ? I can only remember 3. jeez it's too many when you can't remember their names.

Only 1 or possibly 1.5 mean it - the others are using me to punish the others over a rhubarb pie capitulation that they blame on somebody else

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

You hussy ! so if you had had a later train you would have climbed the stairs !!!!

arrghh floooooosy !

jeez you have some fence mending to do

I need your support on 10 threads when I say stupid things - THAT is your penalty.

Mental infidelty might as well be all the way....

Any more floosying and I am off with the owl and owls don't stop til dawn !

early train indeed grr grr huh huh grrrr jeez cor humph

Well, I didn't have a later train as it was. I was good and faithful to my No 1 Internet Boyfriend in my body and mind, just as I always am. I like to set a good example to the other sexxxyliterary ladies. I even flashed him a copy of Baudrillard to show him I am now all serious-like and La Perla knickers are for librarian set-pieces ONLY, not for exposure to nasty young investment wanker bankers.

I will lend my support wherever you need it, Alan. I'll make you look smart and handsome and virile. JUST TAKE ME BACK!!!

[Krikit 1,164]

Stop it, Maven! No man is worth this! Take the shag!!

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Stop it, Maven! No man is worth this! Take the shag!!

Okay, Ben did look pretty good, I'll admit. He's getting more attractive as he ages. But I remember what an arsewipe he is and he is definitely not worth a shag. He's a selfish and egotistical POS that I only got together with in the crazy Blitz spirit of the London bombings in 2005 because we all thought the world was ending. He did have a great flat on the South Bank though.

But I made the right choice.

[Captain Oates 911]

By the way

It's WIMBLEDON not WIMBLETON !!!!!!!

DON is the old celtic word for 'hill' and existed before the Romans came. Romans ?

Doncaster

Rawdon

Yeadon

Baildon

Basildon etc all on hills - thousands of em

Course it's understandable coz when a person has no concept of origins and history, it must all seem so arbitrary and therefore so hard to remember

I will take my revenge and talk about higher-wather and milli-haha and xxxxing bull

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

By the way

It's WIMBLEDON not WIMBLETON !!!!!!!

Yeurgh, makes me cringe EVERY time. #######, can ye not pronounce it? All the Ts sound like Ds, so Ds should sound like Ts?

Punishment: hanged, drawn and quartered. On Wimbledon Common. By the Wombles.

[Captain Oates 911]

Yeurgh, makes me cringe EVERY time. #######, can ye not pronounce it? All the Ts sound like Ds, so Ds should sound like Ts?

Punishment: hanged, drawn and quartered. On Wimbledon Common. By the Wombles.

Holy bardles of wadder !

Its been a long day - been meddling in all sorts of threads in between chores but bigger malevolences than were there so I wasn't taking all the slings and arrows

Built an array of canes on top of the cat tree to stop no 2 mog from getting onto the pelmet 10 feet up and then falling down backwards onto the wooden frame like she does !

Don't know how I had time to work...

[Captain Oates 911]

Here is some English sophistication - an envy of the world

My favorite Geordie character

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Holy bardles of wadder !

Its been a long day - been meddling in all sorts of threads in between chores but bigger malevolences than were there so I wasn't taking all the slings and arrows

Built an array of canes on top of the cat tree to stop no 2 mog from getting onto the pelmet 10 feet up and then falling down backwards onto the wooden frame like she does !

Don't know how I had time to work...

Well, when you need back up, you can call on your No 1 Internet Girlfriend cum Pension Advisor.

(still wouldn't worry about BP)

[Krikit 1,164]

Oh, great saywhat..... what, praytell, is the origin of the word moggy?

[Captain Oates 911]

Well, when you need back up, you can call on your No 1 Internet Girlfriend cum Pension Advisor.

(still wouldn't worry about BP)

It's a deal

Not selling BP for 10 years so I just won't look. This time next year it will all be forgotten about - like the war of independance and 1812 and the burning of the white house and george bush goosing the queen

It's going to really smash a lot of pension funds in the US and UK and drop the tax take US and UK and unemploymentise a lot of people in the South. Mr O is killing the golden goose that lays the plastic egg - something like that. Two geeses in 1 post mr bush !

Luckily my pensions are 100% guaranteed by Her Majesty and inflation proofed - and I sold my BP at the top and bought it back 30% down - so I already have my life back as they say.

It's no joke though

[Captain Oates 911]

Where can I get one of these and is it all in the price ?

http://www.fullerheadofhair.com/a/shag-haircut-and-styles.shtml