Commies 4 Christ...Redux Part Deux

[BishopM 114]

Bishop, I do not deserve what I have been blessed with. But, it has made me cognizant of the people around me in my daily life who have had to deal with unreal horrors. I can't believe that some of these situations exist, but they do. I almost gave up my career to work in underprivileged areas, but I met my husband first. I still believe we need to help out elsewhere. I have been overprivileged my entire life, moreso than him, but we have so much that we can give.

The Bishop you. This I give freely, but with special consideration to you, my blessed Sister.

It is my opinion that the blessing of love is important. I want you to know that this blessing of love I have given to you with a conscious conderation of your ability to recieve this blessing....thus making it complete.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

No! Absolutely NO!

This is typical 'you' my beloved brother! Hiding behind words of grace while commiserating and infecting me. Why would you do such?

The saviour/ martyr complex that I probably suffer from would be my best guess.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

CINCO. TALK TO US. PLEASE. I never beg (ask my husband LOL)

I'm trying to but I keep getting threatened with an azz kicking. :rofl:

[BishopM 114]

The saviour/ martyr complex that I probably suffer from would be my best guess.

Its a fair sentiment my brother and one from which I have may have benifitted if I was less than a Bishop. You've given me great comfort over the years. I never once thought or believed that you were even possible of sacrifice at all or even marytydom...as I am not equal to the effort either.

So, let me relieve you of that burden. You are free to live.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

OK. You are normally a calm person. Why did that change? Was it the death of your mother? Or, as I suspect, did it come a little later than that? Some additional contributing factor?

Hon, I love you. I am not a counselor. But, I do know, that if you talk about things to SOMEONE, it takes some of the pressure off. Been there, done that.

I am having a heightened sense of guilt over my loss but I don't know what else is going on in my mind right now. The rage is the manifestation of something but I don't know what. I'm guessing it may have to do with my concern over losing someone else. I know you and Bishop love me, and I love you guyz right back.

[ValerieA 350]

Why do you have guilt?

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

Why do you have guilt?

When my Mother was taken I spent 15-20 minutes giving her CPR and though it sounds a bit crazy, I couldn't even save my own Mother. I know it was her time but my heart won't accept it. I could have done a few things that might have kept her healthy but it was never meant to be, I suppose.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

Its a fair sentiment my brother and one from which I have may have benifitted if I was less than a Bishop. You've given me great comfort over the years. I never once thought or believed that you were even possible of sacrifice at all or even marytydom...as I am not equal to the effort either.

So, let me relieve you of that burden. You are free to live.

Tnank you, Bishop but until those words enter my heart and soul, I will never be free. I am truly humbled to know that I have been able to comfort you.

[BishopM 114]

I am having a heightened sense of guilt over my loss but I don't know what else is going on in my mind right now. The rage is the manifestation of something but I don't know what. I'm guessing it may have to do with my concern over losing someone else. I know you and Bishop love me, and I love you guyz right back.

You will not find the answers here. You will only find the answers in silence. I KNOW you KNOW this! Yet...you are not moving in this direction. Please tell me why you are not moving in this direction.

[BishopM 114]

Tnank you, Bishop but until those words enter my heart and soul, I will never be free. I am truly humbled to know that I have been able to comfort you.

Again, NO! While it is true that you have comforted me, that point is not relevant to this discussion. You need to discern (an important word) the true reason why you're not able to be free. Until that time, my temporary comfort and your temperate discomfort is an illusion, as you well know.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

Bishop, I do not deserve what I have been blessed with. But, it has made me cognizant of the people around me in my daily life who have had to deal with unreal horrors. I can't believe that some of these situations exist, but they do. I almost gave up my career to work in underprivileged areas, but I met my husband first. I still believe we need to help out elsewhere. I have been overprivileged my entire life, moreso than him, but we have so much that we can give.

My Dear Most Blessed Val. HE gives us tests in many forms. To some HE give great wealth and privilege and to others crushing poverty. YOU ARE PASSING YOUR TEST WITH FLYING COLOURS, NEVER CHANGE!!!! :luv:

[ValerieA 350]

When my Mother was taken I spent 15-20 minutes giving her CPR and though it sounds a bit crazy, I couldn't even save my own Mother. I know it was her time but my heart won't accept it. I could have done a few things that might have kept her healthy but it was never meant to be, I suppose.

Hon, you know it was her time. My nephew was killed at 21. I tried to make so many deals with God, when I got the phone call that his truck had been in a bad accident, and they thought that he was in it. I have lead a very interesting life, and he should have had the chance to do half of what I had done. I would have gladly given up all that I have been, just for him to have a chance. It wasn't my choice.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

You will not find the answers here. You will only find the answers in silence. I KNOW you KNOW this! Yet...you are not moving in this direction. Please tell me why you are not moving in this direction.

My heart is not free and until HE decides that I am to be set free, I will remain a prisoner of my own frailties. That's all that I can think of.

[ValerieA 350]

My Dear Most Blessed Val. HE gives us tests in many forms. To some HE give great wealth and privilege and to others crushing poverty. YOU ARE PASSING YOUR TEST WITH FLYING COLOURS, NEVER CHANGE!!!! :luv:

No, I am not. Every day is a test. But, I believe that everyone else is at least my equal, and I was born into a good life. I got the easy street. That is not fair, but I can help others out. And that is what I do.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

Again, NO! While it is true that you have comforted me, that point is not relevant to this discussion. You need to discern (an important word) the true reason why you're not able to be free. Until that time, my temporary comfort and your temperate discomfort is an illusion, as you well know.

Fear of losing anything else is what haunts me. It engenders worry and doubt and that prevents me from moving ahead. I have lost my fearlessness, it was what made me who I am.