Marriage Separation before start of AOS

[Ivan M 0]

I want to say thank you to all of you that have taken your valuable time to respond. I live in Idaho, and have been researching my divorce options. I would not attempt to reconcile, and will not have any communication about such. We did not co-mingle any assets during our marriage. Her son is eight years old, so his witness value would be suspect. My plan is to send her an e-mail to feel out the non-contested divorce waters. At this point, I would be willing to pay to send them home to the Ukraine, if she will not contest a divorce.

[Jasman0717 9]

Let's not jump the gun here.

First, you'll need to figure out what you want. Do you want to stay married to your wife, or do you feel that this is not going anywhere and you'd like to "end" it?

Before you pull the plug, you should really talk to your wife and find out what HER plans are.

Assuming you want to end your marriage, file for divorce. Since you didn't file for AOS, she will be unable to adjust status on her own. She can't even marry somebody else and file for AOS at any time. She is in a trap, and I don't know if she knows that.

If she doesn't have one, she can't get a SSN and she can't get a driver license. The final chapter with immigration is the least important. You should do this one step at a time.

[Tahoma 2,292]

Oh my - time to check in with mcat.

I wonder why they deleted his entire thread. I was enjoying the show.

OP...in Washington, if you don't know where your wife is so that she can be served the divorce papers, for a small cost you can publish the notice of divorce in your local paper. The ads in the local paper will substitute for her actually being served the divorce papers. It's her problem if she doesn't see the small ads in the classifieds section of the paper, and doesn't show up for court.

[TBoneTX 45,956]

I wonder why they deleted his entire thread. I was enjoying the show.

OP...in Washington, if you don't know where your wife is so that she can be served the divorce papers, for a small cost you can publish the notice of divorce in your local paper. The ads in the local paper will substitute for her actually being served the divorce papers. It's her problem if she doesn't see the small ads in the classifieds section of the paper, and doesn't show up for court.

It may or may not be (check this) that the newspaper needs to be certified to carry "legal" ads (those pertaining to legal matters). A quick phone call to the newspaper, or a visit to its website, can lead to the answer. If Idaho's rules are the same as Washington's, Tahoma's advice may well be completely correct now, si man.

I formally "reported" the Mcat thread, citing the VJ TOS regarding the support (in this case, through rationalization & inaction) of immigration fraud. Soon thereafter, for whatever reason, the thread went missing. That's not all that bad an occurrence, no man.

Edited June 2, 2010 by TBoneTX

[thongd4me 69]

I want to say thank you to all of you that have taken your valuable time to respond. I live in Idaho, and have been researching my divorce options. I would not attempt to reconcile, and will not have any communication about such. We did not co-mingle any assets during our marriage. Her son is eight years old, so his witness value would be suspect. My plan is to send her an e-mail to feel out the non-contested divorce waters. At this point, I would be willing to pay to send them home to the Ukraine, if she will not contest a divorce.

A divorce is not something you ask the other party to agree to until you have filed.

If she gets a lawyer you can be sure it will be contested, especially if she finds

out she needs a husband for AOS. She may file first if she thinks she can get

an advantage out of that, but you'll still be in for a contest even if she wants

a divorce as well.

Whether the divorce is contested or not, you will have to get one and it's likely

she won't make it easier for you. Whether she thinks she can stay stateside or

go back to the Ukraine, she will try for a big payoff. The only thing I would ask

is does she intend to stay in the US and don't promise anything. Just get iniformation

and don't give any more than you have to.

[thongd4me 69]

It may or may not be (check this) that the newspaper needs to be certified to carry "legal" ads (those pertaining to legal matters). A quick phone call to the newspaper, or a visit to its website, can lead to the answer. If Idaho's rules are the same as Washington's, Tahoma's advice may well be completely correct now, si man.

I formally "reported" the Mcat thread, citing the VJ TOS regarding the support (in this case, through rationalization & inaction) of immigration fraud. Soon thereafter, for whatever reason, the thread went missing. That's not all that bad an occurrence, no man.

I second Tahoma & TBone's advice. Assume abandonment and proceed as they suggest.

The only advantage to approaching her up front and offering a deal would result in the

answer "...and how much are you willing to pay?"

Don't fall for it, act first. She has to answer the embarassing questions, you don't.

[Martyshk 137]

I formally "reported" the Mcat thread, citing the VJ TOS regarding the support (in this case, through rationalization & inaction) of immigration fraud. Soon thereafter, for whatever reason, the thread went missing. That's not all that bad an occurrence, no man.

Now.... does anyone have a copy of that thread maybe? I was away while it happened, I just miss his posts.... so so so much fun.

[Darnell 8,479]

Now.... does anyone have a copy of that thread maybe? I was away while it happened, I just miss his posts.... so so so much fun.

ooooooooooh - it's been wiped. But- check his profile, he answered my inquiry today.

[Brad and Vika 129]

I wonder why they deleted his entire thread. I was enjoying the show.

OP...in Washington, if you don't know where your wife is so that she can be served the divorce papers, for a small cost you can publish the notice of divorce in your local paper. The ads in the local paper will substitute for her actually being served the divorce papers. It's her problem if she doesn't see the small ads in the classifieds section of the paper, and doesn't show up for court.

Like always, whiny mcat got his feelings hurt by some of us calling a spade a spade. He asked that the thread be deleted according to Kathryn41. When I asked what was to be learned by any one when all of mcats threads are locked - I got no response.

[TBoneTX 45,956]

Mcat started a new thread, currently in the K-1 forum, and it may end up being transferred here. Apologies for going off-topic in the OP's thread. OP, please keep us apprised of how you proceed and what results.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

I always thought that especially the people of Russia and the Ukraine had to suffer from the oppression of free speech for a very long time, until the collapse of the Russian Empire.

You can imagine my surprise to learn that somebody displaying the Ukrainian flag on VJ was responsible in killing free speech here. I too would have loved to read what fellow VJ member MCat wrote.

[Tanya and Barry 59]

I'm not making any judgments about your wife or her network of friends but do not put yourself in any situations or commit any actions that could be construed to be domestic violence. It could be part of a "plan" to gain residence.

[Ivan M 0]

Thanks for the advice and concern. I will not be in any contact, as I fully realize the potential implications. If she contacts me and wants to come pick up her things (which are neatly packed and residing in my heated garage), she may only do so in the presence of a deputy sheriff. I really do not know at this point where she is, so I will file a divorce based on abandonment, and place ads accordingly so, and pray for the best.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Thanks for the advice and concern. I will not be in any contact, as I fully realize the potential implications. If she contacts me and wants to come pick up her things (which are neatly packed and residing in my heated garage), she may only do so in the presence of a deputy sheriff. I really do not know at this point where she is, so I will file a divorce based on abandonment, and place ads accordingly so, and pray for the best.

When you file for divorce make sure the divorce settlement document includes language to the effect that the property settlement is "Each party has in their possession all property to which they lay claim and may dispose of any such property as they see fit." Then after the Dissolution order is signed by a judge you can legally put her stuff on the curb with a "Free" sign on it or donate it to Goodwill.

[Brad and Vika 129]

When you file for divorce make sure the divorce settlement document includes language to the effect that the property settlement is "Each party has in their possession all property to which they lay claim and may dispose of any such property as they see fit." Then after the Dissolution order is signed by a judge you can legally put her stuff on the curb with a "Free" sign on it or donate it to Goodwill.

Cold, but WAAY cool. I like it