Abuse, divorce, and the 2 yr GC (I am the USC)

[3600rs 24]

Thanks again for all the replies. I have just come back from the police station and the family law clerk where I filed a police report for the threats and the past abuse and I also filed for divorce. That was a harrowing experience as I felt the police officers did not believe me since I hadn't reported the abuse from before, even with all the emails, but I did it anyway just to have it on record. Tomorrow morning I will go to file the restraining order (I told the police officer it was urgent, but he said urgency applies only to those in the US) so I missed the time period to file the order. I am going to call ICE in a bit before I get to work.

Keep you family safe and have all the evidence of abuse.

I have gone thru this discussion over and I do not see any element of fraud here. He will be only removed from the US if he is guilty of Fraud and/or criminal activity. The government has to prove him guilty with high quality evidence in order to have him removed. If this doesn't happen he will be successful in removing conditions help with expert lawyers. There is no grey area here, its either you do everything to get him removed or he remains in the US forever.

You'll had a one year daughter together, you said he paid rent etc and your relationship was 6 years; he has ample of good faith evidence for a waiver. I hate to be devils advocate but if he keeps out of trouble he is here to stay.

Seems like he also has a steady job, money will bring him legal help that will fuel his success.

You can get a foreign spouse to the US but you can remove the foreign evils from them. Sadly his family is broken as Albanian machismo does not work here.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Post containing inappropriate racist comment removed

[NVC FAN :( 18]

Not that i would do this, but you could call the airport where he is bording. and make claims against him . remember 911

[Ryan_and_Priscy 16]

You have his threats in the form or e-mails?

I'd be printing these off, showing them to the police, and to a lawyer.

And get all the records you have of your bank account, everything you can show of what he has done in bad faith, your sister was a present witness there and I think she can testify to the police about it. You said he is coming this weekend, right? As you said, probably he will get a "nice" surprise... Go to the police station to denounce him before he comes here, do not wait longer, do not be afraid of anything. For me it sounds he had all this planned... or maybe not, but you do not deserve to live in fear and being threatened by a person who does not care anymore of you and your daughter.

My prayers for you!

[Radkova 11]

and again please send all those proofs to ICE and the cops so they can stop him from coming back to this Country!!!!!!!!! move out,change your number pronto. he doesn't need to know where you are.

[susan_seth 0]

I am on the phone with ICE right now and they say they can do nothing as there has been no immigration violation and he is not in the USA right now.

I pray all works well for you.

[besaangel 18]

My heart goes out to you. He does not deserve to come here or be in your life any longer. Take the advice given in previous posts... You have to be considerate of your child and staying with family would not just provide a safe haven for you, but also, you'll be able to get the emotional and mental support that both you and your daughter need in this trying time.

[Ryan_and_Priscy 16]

I am on the phone with ICE right now and they say they can do nothing as there has been no immigration violation and he is not in the USA right now.

But he hit you, and in front of your sister... your life is in danger! He has violated your rights as wife and woman. Once a man start doing this is not a man anymore, even worse if he keeps hurting verbally. And he has violated the marriage commitment, stealing money, saying to you that he is going to marry again someone else, manipulating you, and he intends to come back to do the same or who knows what plans he has in mind....?

Sincerely, I hope you will find the help you need. I wish to you and your daughter the best.

[papart_banks 0]

Report the abuse to the police and also get a temporary restraining order against him. Tell the police that he threaten to end your life. Good luck!!

[Nibake 4]

For what it's worth, I have a couple of suggestions. This seems to be a very intense and painful time full of difficult emotions. Be sure to get some good counseling asap! And I'm not talking about lawyers, police, and VJers. Neither am I talking about sisters, any family members, or friends. They will not be objective. Look for someone who can be objective, direct, and honest with you. In the long run it will pay off. Think twice and three and four times (you get my point) about how to proceed. Lawyers advice is not always the best when it comes to real world situations, especially marriages!

As many have said, it is very important that you get an OFP (Order for protection). This is not a restraining order and it can be extemporaneous (immediate and without a hearing) if you prove that you have reason to be afraid of voilence. Even one time of him hitting you will suffice. Don't let this all consume you and there will be brighter days ahead.

Even if he should manage to stay in the country despite all your efforts, don't give him the ability to ruin your life! It's up to you to make the best out of whatever situation you find yourself in, so don't let people do what will be harmful in the long run--over sympathize and throw pitty parties.

"The future is as bright as the promises of God." -Hudson Taylor

[Darnell 8,479]

I am on the phone with ICE right now and they say they can do nothing as there has been no immigration violation and he is not in the USA right now.

When you call back, tell them he wiped out the bank accounts, left for Albania with intent to never return, and NOW he is threatening your life and is returning on Saturday. Ask them to forward the order of protection information to the Customs and Border Patrol Office at the airport, and YOU forward the OFP via fax to the supervisor at CBP, also, with a cover letter explaining the situation.

IMO, the first contact person on the ICE hotline won't be able to help much, as they just 'take info' and that's it. It's worth it, though, to get the casefile started, get a receipt #, to document all, in the future. You must be able to convince that 'first line operator' that you need to talk to a case officer, and not the 'first line operator', as it's a matter of life and death.

Good Luck !

[Langa 2]

Sorry to hear about what you are going through my dear. Please stay safe and protect the baby. There is nothing like living in fear especially from someone you love or once loved, believe me I know.

Hang in there, stay strong...dig deep for strength and you will find it and do not let him intimidate you.

I will keep you in my prayers!

[andrea2774 0]

Thanks again for all the replies. I have just come back from the police station and the family law clerk where I filed a police report for the threats and the past abuse and I also filed for divorce. That was a harrowing experience as I felt the police officers did not believe me since I hadn't reported the abuse from before, even with all the emails, but I did it anyway just to have it on record. Tomorrow morning I will go to file the restraining order (I told the police officer it was urgent, but he said urgency applies only to those in the US) so I missed the time period to file the order. I am going to call ICE in a bit before I get to work.

You know what? sometimes the police sucks! They will only believe you when you report it at that very moment which I didn't do too, because at that time I was still considering my marriage to my ex-husband. Would you believe that police officer went to my ex-husband and together they laughed about me, and NEVER recorded whatever I told him...He actually has the nerve to tell my lawyer that he don't believe me and that I am only making stories....he said that after the court hearing wherein my ex cannot deny the truth..huh!!!what should we do to those kind of prejudice cops???I thought US cops are the best in the world..but now my mind is open...But nevertheless, go for it!!! Fight for your right. And they are right, go to the women's shelter because you'll be safe there....I pray for your safety...Don't let that man fool you again....for the sake of your daughter..God bless you!!

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

You know what? sometimes the police sucks! They will only believe you when you report it at that very moment which I didn't do too, because at that time I was still considering my marriage to my ex-husband. Would you believe that police officer went to my ex-husband and together they laughed about me, and NEVER recorded whatever I told him...He actually has the nerve to tell my lawyer that he don't believe me and that I am only making stories....he said that after the court hearing wherein my ex cannot deny the truth..huh!!!what should we do to those kind of prejudice cops???I thought US cops are the best in the world..but now my mind is open...But nevertheless, go for it!!! Fight for your right. And they are right, go to the women's shelter because you'll be safe there....I pray for your safety...Don't let that man fool you again....for the sake of your daughter..God bless you!!

In all fairness to the cops, they get false reports of abuse a lot. They are rightfully suspicious when the report comes long after the actual abuse was said to have taken place. You have to see it from their perspective. If the abuse wasn't bad enough to justify calling the cops and seeking their protection at the time it occurred, why is it bad enough to justify calling the cops long after it actually happened? In most cases, there is an ulterior motive - the accuser wants a police report to use against their spouse, usually for a divorce case.

It's not the job of the police to rubber stamp your accusation in order to give it credibility so that you can use it in a divorce or immigration case. It's their job to solve crimes, capture criminals and offer protection. In most states, if you call them at the time the abuse occurs, and they see any evidence of abuse, they are required to make an arrest. This is intended to give you some safe time so you can file for a restraining order. They are understandably reluctant to believe someone who didn't take any action to protect themselves at the time the abuse occurred, and only decide to report the abuse when they need a police report.

[TracyTN 237]

When you call back, tell them he wiped out the bank accounts, left for Albania with intent to never return, and NOW he is threatening your life and is returning on Saturday. Ask them to forward the order of protection information to the Customs and Border Patrol Office at the airport, and YOU forward the OFP via fax to the supervisor at CBP, also, with a cover letter explaining the situation.

IMO, the first contact person on the ICE hotline won't be able to help much, as they just 'take info' and that's it. It's worth it, though, to get the casefile started, get a receipt #, to document all, in the future. You must be able to convince that 'first line operator' that you need to talk to a case officer, and not the 'first line operator', as it's a matter of life and death.

Good Luck !

Right on!!!