Ummm, maybe another stupid question!

[The_Dude 1,142]

This thread really reminds me of

Complete with the exaggerated performances of a douchy villain et al.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

I effing wish, Rob. Unfortunately, having been up close and personal with one of the players, I can assure you that sometimes Teh Drama!!!11!!1!!!! is for realz.

[JulianMelissa 52]

Julian, I have been there for your fiancee more than you have in the past week. I was the one picking up the mess YOU made, and I barely know the girl. Your actions, which you have tied up in pretty paper and a big red bow to mask the steaming ####### within, have hurt her perhaps more than a sub-cretinous douche like yourself is capable of acknowledging. It is personal now for me. The gloves are off. I may be only a woman to you, feeble-minded, weak, but I wouldn't rely on that judgement.

Perhaps you should marry her then.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Perhaps you should marry her then.

First off, Julian, I am still married. I may be married to a less douchey version of you (just) but nevertheless I am not yet single. Second, and you may not be aware of this, the voters of California banned same-sex marriage in 2008 through the passage of Proposition 8. Third, I'm not into chicks.

[JulianMelissa 52]

First off, Julian, I am still married. I may be married to a less douchey version of you (just) but nevertheless I am not yet single. Second, and you may not be aware of this, the voters of California banned same-sex marriage in 2008 through the passage of Proposition 8. Third, I'm not into chicks.

Fourth, maybe you should kindly remove yourself from my relationship.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Fourth, maybe you should kindly remove yourself from my relationship.

I didn't ask to be part of this, idiot boy. I was invited in.

[Ban Hammer 13,343]

[tmma 467]

Oh good God...! I have read this entire thing.....

few things to say. At first I felt kind of sorry for 'Melissa' ; but she is an adult. She is petitioning a fiance and making plans to marry......she doesn't 'sound' like an imbecile...She picked him. She loves him, even if to some of us he seems to type like a selfish, pretentious, chinless wonder. She loves him. All this drama reads like a bad paperback novel.....

And I am wondering why she has not closed the thread. I would have...but then there is a large part of me that does not like that kind of drama or attention. People are all different. Eh, she's a big girl. She picked him.

Good Luck to both of them...I say- because ( and I do not intend to be horrid with this), their continuing this in public when they can have it shut down like yesterday....IMO is a small indication that she likes the attention her posts/blog is attracting and he likes sparring with VJ'ers because he appears to think he is intellectually superior. I think you have all been played to an extent, but that's only my opinion.

[MelissaJulian 30]

Hi tmma, Melissa here. I'm a little hurt that you think I am "playing" people for attention or sympathy. As other people have pointed out, this is a place where we can go for support when we are confused. I thought that my initial question wasn't going to attract all this attention! I never intended for this to get so big and out of control. I am glad of the many kind things that people have advised me on, so in some way it has been good to have this thread open. I didn't know you could close threads though. If I wanted to do this, how do I do it?

[The_Dude 1,142]

Hi tmma, Melissa here. I'm a little hurt that you think I am "playing" people for attention or sympathy. As other people have pointed out, this is a place where we can go for support when we are confused. I thought that my initial question wasn't going to attract all this attention! I never intended for this to get so big and out of control. I am glad of the many kind things that people have advised me on, so in some way it has been good to have this thread open. I didn't know you could close threads though. If I wanted to do this, how do I do it?

To close a thread, you need to open a blog about it

Just teasing. Just PM a moderator such as Kathryn41, Krikit, Otto and Karin, William33, TayRivers or I believe a deputy mod like Charles! can do it

[Nik+Heather 121]

There is a report button underneath the information section of each person's post (yellow triangle). In there, identify yourself as the starter of the thread, and request it to be closed and/or completely deleted.

[Gemmie 142]

Fourth, maybe you should kindly remove yourself from my relationship.

Seems you have a habit of wanting people to remove themselves from your friendship (Sean, Maven..). It's OK for your best friend to have at her, though.

Melissa, I don't think you're doing this for attention at all, I think you innocently spilled some details on what has happened and how you feel, and people have been rushing over to tell you how you should start to look at the entire contents on the cup, and realise that it's actually quite moldy. Excuse my analogy.

I really hope you're happy in yourself and in your relationship, because when you're married and living together 24/7, things always look different. While I'm happy with my husband, we haven't been without relationship issues. And I can see that looking back, there were habits that I wasn't happy with right back at the beginning when we were dating, but I explained them away as silly little things... but they could have become serious problems had we not caught them out early on and worked to solve them. And I worry that you'll keep explaining things away as either your fault (acting stupid, or like a child) or as no big deal (Sean being his best friend, and he DID forgive YOU in the past...). I'm not a relationship expert, and I'm still really young, but I do know that it's easy to get caught up in love, and behaviours that seem tolerable - and then become serious later on.

Anyways, I wish you good luck. You can send a message to the Moderator on this forum and ask them to close it for you, and they will.

[tmma 467]

Hi tmma, Melissa here. I'm a little hurt that you think I am "playing" people for attention or sympathy. As other people have pointed out, this is a place where we can go for support when we are confused. I thought that my initial question wasn't going to attract all this attention! I never intended for this to get so big and out of control. I am glad of the many kind things that people have advised me on, so in some way it has been good to have this thread open. I didn't know you could close threads though. If I wanted to do this, how do I do it?

Melissa,

Your fiance has asked people numerous times on this thread to 'stop judging/& remove yourself from my relationship'....etc etc. Clearly this thread has not only got his undies somewhat knotted, but caused futher discord. Discord that I point out, you brought in by writing about it in the first place then throwing it open for THE WORLD to read..

Why write all about it on a public forum? There's a comment box in your blog, a reply button on here inviting responses. What type of responses were you honestly expecting?

In your blog ( which I read part of) your fiance says that "'picnicing with another guy as a friend 'looks bad'" and 'what on Earth will people think....' Obviously he is bothered by what people 'think'....So in my opinion to post on the internet for literally millions of people to see and read most intimate details is only going to inspire this kind of drama and reaction.

Drama and reaction in this case you started and are failing to put an end to.

I am talking to you as an adult. I do not know you or him. My intention is NOT to 'hurt', it really is not. Am I sympathetic...no, not really. I make no apologies for that. I'm not sympathetic because you are both adults capeable of controlling not only yourselves, but how much/what type of information you throw to the world to comment on.

I do wish you both the best. Sincerely.

[MelissaJulian 30]

I just want to say I am so grateful for all the nice things and real-life friends I have made through this thread that I'm not sure I should close it. I understand what people are saying about me being open about difficult for my fiance, but I have to sort through a lot of stuff and this is actually helpful. Maybe I'll get a thicker skin!

I'll think about closing it this weekend and ask Julian what I should do.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Melissa, sweetie, give me a call before you call him. If you want to close this thread it should be YOUR choice.