I'm Back

[PurpleSky 19]

Hi Everyone!!!

I'm back from my two week trip to Gambia. I had a good time and really enjoyed getting to know my honey even better. I went over with questions (was I doing the right thing...am I crazy...how will this be...will we decide to forgo K-1 and just get married...and a whole other list of questions). I got the answers to those but came back with a whole list of others. LOL

I will say that going to Gambia (as beautiful as it is) shed loads of light on the dark spots I had with certain parts of our relationship. There's always the "I wonder if he wants to marry me just to come to America" question and I have to say, I feel very confident that isn't the case with him. I also found out that there were things that he tried to hide from me but as I'm a pretty devout Christian, I believe that God will always give you vision and expose things that can hurt His children. It is up to us as His children to react accordingly. Long story short, God revealed some things to me and I called my fiance out on them. First he just sat there with his mouth open wondering how I knew, then he admitted them and begged me to understand why he didn't tell me from the beginning. They weren't huge things (at least in my eyes, but to him they were enormous) and I honestly wouldn't have looked at him any different had I known from the beginning. It was just that he tried to hide them from me. I had this long talk with him and pretty much said if he can't trust me then he absolutely shouldn't marry me. I even had a tantrum and threw both of my engagement rings at him and refused to wear them again until he proved himself to me.

After prayer together and more talking, we overcame that hurdle. I also got a taste of what it would be like to be married to him (as much as two weeks could allow. ) I purposely went over with only a little money because I didn't want it to seem like he would have it made here as they seem to think Americans are soooooooo rich. I allowed him to manage the money I brought over and we did quite well. I didn't starve to death and he even gained a couple pounds. I will definitely be posting pictures this weekend. I just wanted to check in.

I still have a doubt here and there...it's not because of mistrust or anything...just normal "cold feet" type of things. I realize the fragility of the man that God has given me along with his strength. I know I must take care of what I've been given especially considering the limitations my honey has. I have begun to find a balance with stroking his ego, praising his strength and caring for his weaknesses (I don't know why it seems that Nigerian men need more of this balance than other men. But I absolutely adore my Naija-born and bred sweetie. ). I ask myself very often, would I still want to marry this man if he was already in America and I was able to be with him on a daily/regular basis and my answer continues to be yes inspite of the "not so good" things we went through while I was there. I take it to show that this thing is real. Every relationship has a point where you think you can't move past things but somehow you find yourself further down the journey because you've decided not to throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble or at the first sign of a weak area. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying ignore blatant things just to say you've got yourself a fiance(e). I'm just saying pray/meditate and really listen to what is being said during those times. One thing I know for sure...this is definitely not a journey for the weak!!

[Pman's Wife 0]

Welcome back! Sounds like you need a vacation from your vacation

[PurpleSky 19]

Welcome back! Sounds like you need a vacation from your vacation

LOL Thanks. I promise I had fun! Really.

[Cheyemo 8]

Thanks for sharing PurpleSky. So your fiance is Nigerian? I would love to keep updated on your progress and see your pics! Be blessed.

[PurpleSky 19]

Thanks for sharing PurpleSky. So your fiance is Nigerian? I would love to keep updated on your progress and see your pics! Be blessed.

Yep my honey is Nigerian. I just love him to pieces.

[Evans and Flor 2]

Hi Everyone!!!

I'm back from my two week trip to Gambia. I had a good time and really enjoyed getting to know my honey even better. I went over with questions (was I doing the right thing...am I crazy...how will this be...will we decide to forgo K-1 and just get married...and a whole other list of questions). I got the answers to those but came back with a whole list of others. LOL

I will say that going to Gambia (as beautiful as it is) shed loads of light on the dark spots I had with certain parts of our relationship. There's always the "I wonder if he wants to marry me just to come to America" question and I have to say, I feel very confident that isn't the case with him. I also found out that there were things that he tried to hide from me but as I'm a pretty devout Christian, I believe that God will always give you vision and expose things that can hurt His children. It is up to us as His children to react accordingly. Long story short, God revealed some things to me and I called my fiance out on them. First he just sat there with his mouth open wondering how I knew, then he admitted them and begged me to understand why he didn't tell me from the beginning. They weren't huge things (at least in my eyes, but to him they were enormous) and I honestly wouldn't have looked at him any different had I known from the beginning. It was just that he tried to hide them from me. I had this long talk with him and pretty much said if he can't trust me then he absolutely shouldn't marry me. I even had a tantrum and threw both of my engagement rings at him and refused to wear them again until he proved himself to me.

After prayer together and more talking, we overcame that hurdle. I also got a taste of what it would be like to be married to him (as much as two weeks could allow. ) I purposely went over with only a little money because I didn't want it to seem like he would have it made here as they seem to think Americans are soooooooo rich. I allowed him to manage the money I brought over and we did quite well. I didn't starve to death and he even gained a couple pounds. I will definitely be posting pictures this weekend. I just wanted to check in.

I still have a doubt here and there...it's not because of mistrust or anything...just normal "cold feet" type of things. I realize the fragility of the man that God has given me along with his strength. I know I must take care of what I've been given especially considering the limitations my honey has. I have begun to find a balance with stroking his ego, praising his strength and caring for his weaknesses (I don't know why it seems that Nigerian men need more of this balance than other men. But I absolutely adore my Naija-born and bred sweetie. ). I ask myself very often, would I still want to marry this man if he was already in America and I was able to be with him on a daily/regular basis and my answer continues to be yes inspite of the "not so good" things we went through while I was there. I take it to show that this thing is real. Every relationship has a point where you think you can't move past things but somehow you find yourself further down the journey because you've decided not to throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble or at the first sign of a weak area. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying ignore blatant things just to say you've got yourself a fiance(e). I'm just saying pray/meditate and really listen to what is being said during those times. One thing I know for sure...this is definitely not a journey for the weak!!

Amen and God bless you. It sounds as though you had a wonderful time.