Anyone had this happen at Moscow embassy??

[visaveteran 1]

See! See what happens when I interject Russia spies into the conversation. First there are the dismissive jokes. Now we hear of Sparrow School.

Tip of the iceberg?

[SMR 368]

Do knives stick out from the toes of her shoes?

And forget about military secrets, she's after the BIG stuff.

My Wife, the Spy, already has a line on two very important American inventions that are worth tons to Mother Russia:

1. Seedless Watermelons (THE most important invention of mankind)

2. Little plastic pizza box top crush preventers (What is this?.....Now I understand !!!)

I'm so glad that Russia is still pristine and not corrupted by seedless watermelons. First, maybe it's just my memory but I'm pretty sure seeded watermelons taste better. Second, how are you supposed to have a decent watermelon seed spitting contest anymore. Sunflower seeds just don't work because they are not slimy enough.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I'm so glad that Russia is still pristine and not corrupted by seedless watermelons. First, maybe it's just my memory but I'm pretty sure seeded watermelons taste better. Second, how are you supposed to have a decent watermelon seed spitting contest anymore. Sunflower seeds just don't work because they are not slimy enough.

All valid points. But for whatever reason they go crazy over seedless watermelons. When Sergey arrived here last July (K-2 to follow)I swear it was one of the "day one" things to get one of those watermelons and cut it open and show him.

See! See what happens when I interject Russia spies into the conversation. First there are the dismissive jokes. Now we hear of Sparrow School.

Tip of the iceberg?

Maybe. It is something I don't talk about.

[Martyshk 137]

I'm so glad that Russia is still pristine and not corrupted by seedless watermelons. First, maybe it's just my memory but I'm pretty sure seeded watermelons taste better.

Yes. Yes they do.

[slim 1,525]

I told my wife about our funny little "our wives could be spies" thread today and she agreed, it would be very difficult for women to come here "on assignment" and put up with us.

She also said it was doubtful any of the girls were KGB. "Do you know how many people KGB? It's very difficult to be KGB. Only so smart and athletic and best selection process can become KGB. Do you even know this? American people know nothing. It's so few people in all Russia gonna be KGB."

Tell that to the interviewer... only you better tell him in English or with the help of a translator.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I told my wife about our funny little "our wives could be spies" thread today and she agreed, it would be very difficult for women to come here "on assignment" and put up with us.

She also said it was doubtful any of the girls were KGB. "Do you know how many people KGB? It's very difficult to be KGB. Only so smart and athletic and best selection process can become KGB. Do you even know this? American people know nothing. It's so few people in all Russia gonna be KGB."

Tell that to the interviewer... only you better tell him in English or with the help of a translator.

Um... Alla is old enough, smart enough and athletic enough. Yikes. Plus she had two computers. Your wife should not make assumptions about what we know and don't talk about.

[Darnell 8,478]

hey elya !!!

any news from the immigration liason staffer at yer US Reps office? Did you call in, ask if he's in a MANTIS check, or no ?

[elya 17]

Hi Darnell, thanks for asking, but no real news...

the liaison is trying the Department of State again, they did say that it would not be in their jurisdiction to go to the Inspector General. They suggested I try the Governor's office if I want that. Not sure if we're ready for that yet. They also said that it's ok for me and/or him to make our own calls or inquiries to the embassy or DOS if we want to and implied it's a good idea. I guess it can't hurt, as long as we make sure they're not getting overloaded with multiple repetitive inquires simultaneously?

I called the DOS hotline and they said the review is not for any name checks (MANTIS is one of the name checks, right?) and is "at the embassy level" (although "at the embassy level" where my words - they just confirmed that yes, that's what it looks like).

I will call them again next week and see if I get the same answer. I had called DOS twice before we got the congressman's office involved and got different information (or rather non-information) each time. My fiance's going to send another message to the embassy I guess as well.

Don't want to interrupt the fun "my wife is a spy" chain, but my fiance only has one phone and one computer :-) and he is not impressed by seedless watermelons or electric can openers, so I have little to add :-)

btw slim... unfortunately to get to Vlad or Khab from AK you have to fly through LAX and Korea, so it takes just as long or longer as opposed to flying around the other end. They've had a direct flight occasionally for the summer, but not this year. Thanks for the suggestion though.

and Gary and Alla - I'm sure if anyone could get beyond the tiny remote Alaska/Russia islands from which you can occasionally see/walk to the other country's tiny remote island, Sarah Palin would be demanding we build a great big fence :-)

[visaveteran 1]

Um... Alla is old enough, smart enough and athletic enough. Yikes. Plus she had two computers. Your wife should not make assumptions about what we know and don't talk about.

I got this figured out. Alla is KGB and Gary is a double agent. Tell me Gary, how many computers do YOU have?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I got this figured out. Alla is KGB and Gary is a double agent. Tell me Gary, how many computers do YOU have?

I do not talk about my heroics, VV. But since you asked, I have only one, but I have THREE keyboards. English, French and Cyrillic.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hi Darnell, thanks for asking, but no real news...

the liaison is trying the Department of State again, they did say that it would not be in their jurisdiction to go to the Inspector General. They suggested I try the Governor's office if I want that. Not sure if we're ready for that yet. They also said that it's ok for me and/or him to make our own calls or inquiries to the embassy or DOS if we want to and implied it's a good idea. I guess it can't hurt, as long as we make sure they're not getting overloaded with multiple repetitive inquires simultaneously?

I called the DOS hotline and they said the review is not for any name checks (MANTIS is one of the name checks, right?) and is "at the embassy level" (although "at the embassy level" where my words - they just confirmed that yes, that's what it looks like).

I will call them again next week and see if I get the same answer. I had called DOS twice before we got the congressman's office involved and got different information (or rather non-information) each time. My fiance's going to send another message to the embassy I guess as well.

Don't want to interrupt the fun "my wife is a spy" chain, but my fiance only has one phone and one computer :-) and he is not impressed by seedless watermelons or electric can openers, so I have little to add :-)

btw slim... unfortunately to get to Vlad or Khab from AK you have to fly through LAX and Korea, so it takes just as long or longer as opposed to flying around the other end. They've had a direct flight occasionally for the summer, but not this year. Thanks for the suggestion though.

and Gary and Alla - I'm sure if anyone could get beyond the tiny remote Alaska/Russia islands from which you can occasionally see/walk to the other country's tiny remote island, Sarah Palin would be demanding we build a great big fence :-)

RUB forum rules say after 2 pages anything goes...usually guns, pie, food fights etc. We already answered the questions by that point and now we are protecting the US by determining whose wife is a spy. Darnell is a nice guy and pretty durn smart too, but he is from another "region" you gotta 'scuse him.

Sarah is gonna be moving to Hollywood pretty soon anyway so I doubt she will worry about Russia invading through the Aluetians anymore.

[Darnell 8,478]

Hey - I'm not being an 'uber douchey' person, am I ?

[slim 1,525]

he is not impressed by seedless watermelons or electric can openers

That's because he became familiar with them at spy school and on his various travels. "Don't act surprised... but they have watermelons with no seeds. Try to just enjoy the melon and act like all melons have no seeds. They'll never suspect you're an agent because stupid Americans never knew melons used to have seeds in them."

Hey - I'm not being an 'uber douchey' person, am I ?

Not at all. It's nice to have guests who come by and add relevance to the topic instead of the usual uber douches visitors that stop by and add their two pence about us being insensitive chauvinistic pieces of white trash that would never have the opportunity to love a beautiful woman here at home. So, welcome!

But, as Gary said, we like to keep "official business" to the first two pages. Since this is an ongoing OP topic (and we're still waiting) this is one of the exceptions where it's OK to interject it back after page 3. You're following protocol quite nicely, Darnell. Keep it up!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hey - I'm not being an 'uber douchey' person, am I ?

Nyet Darnell! You are welcome any time. You always have good advice to pass along.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

That's because he became familiar with them at spy school and on his various travels. "Don't act surprised... but they have watermelons with no seeds. Try to just enjoy the melon and act like all melons have no seeds. They'll never suspect you're an agent because stupid Americans never knew melons used to have seeds in them."

Then again, I think Alla was trained TO act surprised. "Stupid Americans think all Russians and Ukrainians have an outhouse and use old Capitalist Sears catalogs to wipe their @ss, you have to act surpised at normal things we had many years before them and, in fact..invented!"

I think it may depend on their assignment.