Change my name or not??

[ashenflowers 5]

Interesting topic... and I'll just add my 2 cents.

All my life my name (maiden) was one that was made fun of. It's extremely rare, and my first name isn't common either. It's a word that's a common English word, but just a slight different spelling. To be honest, EVERY time I would tell anyone what my last name was for any reason, even in my adult life, they would pause and say '.... Really!?....' and I'd have to sigh and say yes. lol Some people would say 'wow that's cool!', and I suppose it was, but I didn't like it. I don't think anyone in the U.S. or Canada had my name combination actually (there's a website you can check). I love both my parents, but subconsciously I have always known I'd take the name of my husband. Not even because of the making fun of it, but because that's just tradition. Ya know? My mom took my dad's last name, and her mom before her, and hers before her, and my father's mom took her husband's last name, and her mother before her.. and my sister-in-law took our crazy last name when she married my brother.. etc... Speaking of which, I really like my mother and grandmother's maiden names and would take one of those if I could, but oh well.

I don't find it disrespectful to either party one way or the other. Personally, I don't like hyphenated names (talk about confusion? those are even more so...). Also, I think the amount of paperwork involved is a poor reason to make a decision like this... and unless you're a feminist and thinks it's degrading to women to change your name (excuse me whilst I roll my eyes), why wouldn't you? It doesn't make you any less of a woman to take your husband's name. However if you are a professional who has published or has any career or body of work under your maiden name, like Kathryn mentioned, that's a bit different. Though like others have mentioned the diploma has nothing to do with it really.

My new last name is also very rare (I also think that no one has this name combination still), but it's easier to understand, pronounce and spell. Unfortunately it's one of those names that's also a first name, and a female first name at that, so I actually had someone call me by my last name instead of my first name once. Sigh!!! So each name has it's issues. lol That said, I've had ex boyfriends who've had really whacky last names, and I've still always felt if I were to marry them I'd take their last name. Still, I am grateful I ended up marrying the one with an 'easy' last name. LOL

On a side note, both my husband and I now have exactly the same initials for our first, last, AND middle name... so that's actually kind of fun. lol

[The_Dude 1,142]

I have one seriously effed up last name. It has been the reason for ridicule since primary school and yet, my wife chose to take my name too. I tried to get her to keep her name as I didn't want to inflict the pain and suffering that is my last name upon anyone. I guess she really does love me

[Sprailenes 47]

It doesn't really matter what reason women choose to do this, feminist or not... it's all a personal choice and who cares if someone decides to do it and who cares if someone decides not to. It's all a matter of personal choice.

I have one seriously effed up last name. It has been the reason for ridicule since primary school and yet, my wife chose to take my name too. I tried to get her to keep her name as I didn't want to inflict the pain and suffering that is my last name upon anyone. I guess she really does love me

I can drink to that!

[lgg 2]

I took my husband's last name simply because I wanted to. No feminist dialogue, no slave trade, no matching of consonants and vowels. I just plain wanted to. I figured it didn't need any justification and those that would judge me because of it are jerks and as unforward thinking and closed-minded as those that they so deign to preach against.

It was no honour-bound notion, no tradition-laced motivation -- i did it simply because i was free to do so and that is what i did.

[Marilyn. 340]

I changed my name because I had my maiden name for 30 years and wanted a change

Edited May 25, 2010 by Marilyn.

[The_Dude 1,142]

Now, what about the other way around. There is a guy I used to work with, he actually took her name. At first he was just going to take her name, but ended up hyphenating his name with hers. He was teased mercilessly with comments like "So, what does your husband think about you wearing a suit to work". I like to think of myself as progressive, but I think that is a bit too much for me.

[Peachey 10]

I think most husbands would prefer a BJ as a wedding present

Really? Couldn't you get one of those anytime? You can only change your name once.

[Sprailenes 47]

You can change your name more than once too.

[The_Dude 1,142]

You can change your name more than once too.

I think you can only do it once per month here.

[Sprailenes 47]

Sounds like you can do that more often than most married women would want to give BJ's....

[The_Dude 1,142]

Sounds like you can do that more often than most married women would want to give BJ's....

[CDAgirlMI 51]

I changed my last name to my husband's.

But, I put my maiden name as my middle name. I absolutley love my maiden name & wanted to keep it somehow.

I don't like the idea of hypenating a name, so putting it as my middle name was a perfect option.

[lgg 2]

Did someone say blowjobs???

[Sprailenes 47]

No we were talking about brow jobs... waxing, tweezing and all that fun stuff.

[GabiandVi 34]

I think this is something you will have to decide for yourself.

Growing up I always assumed I would take my husband's name when I got married. I wondered why it worked that way, but it did. When I finally got married, I was living abroad and it would have meant getting a new passport, getting a new visa, etc. It was just going to be a big pain. However, I said that if I ever had a child, I would change my name to have the same name as my child. When it came time, though, again I was still living abroad and it was going to be the same hassle, but the truth was that I really wasn't ready to give up my name. Maybe it was because being far from home it was one more tie to who I was. Also, my name is unique. It is a Basque name and everyone in the world with that name, spelled the way we spell it, is related to me and not that distantly.

Now that I'm living at home and my name is somewhat famous in my area because my cousin is a politician, I feel ready to change it. Fortunately, my husband's name is also unique. No one will ever pronounce it correctly here, though it isn't a typical African surname that is impossible to pronounce. It doesn't seem unique when you look at it, but it means something pretty significant in his native language, and it is recognized throughout his country as the name of a distinguished family. And as my child gets older, I find I want to have the same name as her.

I think if you are hesitating, keep your name. You can always change it later. As far as I know, changing your name in the US is just a matter of using it. It only costs you the price of replacing the documents such as a passport, driver's license, etc., and the time it takes to report to all your credit card companies, bank, etc. I get your point about the length of your name. My name never fit on any forms. It is a bit long, both my first and last names.