Change my name or not??

[AandB 3]

Hi everybody!

I need your advice about something, i can't seem to be able to take a decision by myself hehe.

The question is: Keeping my maiden name or changing it to married name after the wedding?

If i change my name, it would be easier in the USA to use it (as my last name is 2 long last name, in french). But on the other hand, it's complicated for the paperworks (would i have to change my name on my university diploma? passport? etc...?)

What are the pros and cons of changing your name?

And second question: chicken pox, did you really need to get a titer test done or vaccin for AOS medical exam? (i just said i had it for K-1 medical and it was ok)

Thanks in advance!

[Udella&Wiz 325]

If you have children down the road it will be easier to have at least a hyphenated last name which will match theirs.

I personally regret dropping my maiden name, although my married is easy to spell and never mispronounced....but because I was a little older (35) I was quite attached to my unique surname...but I didn't start regretting it until a few months after I changed it.

I think it's all about how you feel about it, no real pros or cons to keeping or not

[AandD 20]

First I decided to keep my family name and add to my husband's but then it looks like a problem, so I changed my opinion and add my family name like a middle and took my husband's like a family name.

For me it was simple because I don't have a middle name. I have to change only my passport and that's it. You don't have to change your university diploma, it's the document you already have and it's not in any connection with your future family name.

The passport is your valid document and it has to be with your correct data, like a new family name, address etc.

[Sprailenes 47]

I just didn't do it. It's all personal preference I think. I just didn't want to deal with anymore troubles and I like my last name. I tried signing his a few times prior to us getting married.. you know just to be a total cheeseball and I hated the way it looked.

[The_Dude 1,142]

Don't get a hyphenated name. It is the beginning of the apocalypse. First, if you have a hyphenated name and then have children, and then they marry someone who has a hyphenated name, just think of the ramifications. Generations from now, you'll have names like James Smith-Jones-O'Neill-Martinez-Matsui-Johnson. Just think of all the extra trees that will die from all the extra letters to be printed in paperwork alone. So, hyphenating your name kills the environment, please, think of the trees.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

I should add that I changed it here in the US...but not in Canada

And by change, I mean I started with the AOS form and used my married name and everything since then (including SSN) has been in my married name...it was pretty easy

Like Sprailenes...I find signing te enew name doesn't come naturally....I had a cute , funky signature before and I didn;t have time to work on somethiogn for the new name so all my stuff has a botched signature with my married name

After 2.5 yrs...I just signed my maiden name by accident the other day...who knows what I was thinking about

[lilacvioletiris 11]

I am looking forward to changing my name to the name of my fiance'! I don't want to be confused with my mother-in-law, but we won't see her very much anyway since she lives in Canada and we will live in the U.S.

[Bern. 3]

I changed my name from maiden to married about 3 months after I married. I didn't want to change it due to...silly teenager stuff.

But honestly, it is personal preference. Just make sure your decision is something you both can live with. (I know some men who throw fits if you don't take their name.)

Edited May 19, 2010 by Bern.

[Sam and Ben 2]

It's a very personal thing. For me, I just automatically knew I would be taking my husband's name. I was excited to do so.

Yes, it's been work to change it here in the States with various documents, but it's all work to do anything here. *shrug*

[FireKari 4]

I'm a traditionalist, so I took only my husbands last name [maiden name also was french].

I didn't have a problem changing any thing, we just made sure that I kept the original copy of the marriage license as you need it for changing everything.

The only thing that I have not changed was my passport, but that's only becuase I had only had it a few months and there is still 4.2 years left on it, so I didn't see the point in changing that yet.

[AandB 3]

Thanks everybody for the very helpful replies!

So if i understand correctly, if my passport is canadian, but only do the change of name in the USA, i can keep my passport as it is? I guess the SSN and other stuff i have to do in the US would be in my married name. The only thing weird about the diploma is that i have to put it on the wall when i'll be working in a clinic.

I'll keep thinking about it, your help is appreciated!

[SapphireDreams 71]

I'm a traditionalist, so I took only my husbands last name [maiden name also was french].

I didn't have a problem changing any thing, we just made sure that I kept the original copy of the marriage license as you need it for changing everything.

The only thing that I have not changed was my passport, but that's only becuase I had only had it a few months and there is still 4.2 years left on it, so I didn't see the point in changing that yet.

I'm the same. I didn't have any problems changing my name and I'm glad I did, but I do miss my old name at times. I know that when we have kids it'll be nice to all have one name.

The hardest transition for me has been work-wise and just being able to relate to my name.

I have a spanish last name now and I'm the whitest girl ever, so it can be annoying to explain to people by I have a spanish last name (my husband isn't spanish either, ha). I grew up with an Austrian last name, so I miss it... it really was a part of who I was and my heritage.

But my new name is now who I am now and I'm OK with that completely. And this is going to sound vain but if my husband has a really ugly last name I would've kept my maiden name because it was pretty nice.

[SapphireDreams 71]

Thanks everybody for the very helpful replies!

So if i understand correctly, if my passport is canadian, but only do the change of name in the USA, i can keep my passport as it is? I guess the SSN and other stuff i have to do in the US would be in my married name. The only thing weird about the diploma is that i have to put it on the wall when i'll be working in a clinic.

I'll keep thinking about it, your help is appreciated!

You can keep your passport, but eventually I'd probably change it when it expired so that when you travel all of your documents match. It's not 100% necessary, but I think eventually you might questioned as to why your greencard and passport don't match. When you travel you'll always have to buy your plane tickets in your passport name, so your maiden name.

As for the diploma - you can probably get a new one from your school by showing them your marriage certificate. No biggie. In our HR system at work, there is a spot for "previous names" and so I have my maiden name listed there so my employer knows that I had a previous name and if they wanted to check me out they could.

[FireKari 4]

I've been in lots of offices where the name on the diploma is different then the one on the desk for the same person.

Not a big problem at all, afterall your birth certificate will indicate that it is still you! =)

I miss my old last name only in the sense that I was the only one on facebook with my name combination, and my new one I am not.

Other then that I am very happy to take my husbands last name and a part of him with me =)

But everyone has their own preferences, and ultimatly it's up to you.

Did you try talking to your husband [or husband to be] about what his views on it were?

That may help you in making your decision.

Best of luck =)

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

People do a lot of stupid things. Figures. One of the smartest things an immigrant can do is not to change their name. There are two exceptions to this rule:

1) If your name is outright horrible, such as Dumpfugg or Suchadimwidd, or

2) If you come from an Asian country and your name is almost unpronouncable for a Westerner.

People who change their name often later realize what that entitles, cost and time wise.

Bob. Call me Bob. Just Bob.