Going to Odessa to see my SO WOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!

[slim 1,525]

Welcome back, Brad. I find it hard to believe you spent a whole weekend without your laptop! I bet you were sneaking the web on your phone "I'll be right out" or dropping by the lobby to check e-mail on those late night "ice runs." (I remember your story about Vika being ticked because you were answering e-mails at the beach while on vacation.) You were missed.

So why do people disappear from VJ? I'd say it has a lot to do with their functionality running it's course. While going through the process they have to come here to find answers, waste time, etc., and in doing so they actually feel closer to their SO because they're doing something related to the VJ process. Once their SO arrives and they get through AOS and the real business of life is a daily occurance, VJ kind of loses it's necessity. While they're apart, VJ is another form of "doing something" for the process. After the daily grind of life takes shape, VJ is more of a "waste" of time, even to the point where some SOs don't like the fact that we're on VJ all the time. ("You never take me out to dinner, only waste time on your stupid Visa Journey, blat.")

As for "arguing about the same old thing over and over" well, that's cyclical. When we get groups of folks on here about the same point in their VJ process, they have remarkably similar postings. Those who are "waiting" are still in that whimsical "sunshine and puppy dogs" stage where they can't wait to be with their SO again and everything is rainbows and unicorns and love is grand and they make a lot of posts about it. The theme seems to carry on about romantic topics and what to do in the early stages. After a while, and once we're down to the "old guys" here on the forum, we end up with "I wish my wife would go home so I could have a break" posts and those tend to dominate the scene for a while.

I think folks leave depending on where they are in that cycle and also how much they want to participate in it. We'll see folks who leave come back when their AOS lifting conditions is due or they begin naturalization. Or, they'll stop back by when life starts to come at them in some unexpected way. "Why is she crazy? Is anyone else's wife crazy too?"

We all fall into one, some, or all of those categories and not necessarily at the same time. Since we're all at different positions in that cycle, that's why we have problems sometimes.

Mox will be back. We crossed swords but it wasn't that big of a deal. He floats from one forum to another depending on what suits him. He'll be back and he won't even be mad. He'll come back once he's had enough of the other stuff and he'll fall right back into the RUB forum cycle. Then, once he tires of us again, he'll disappear for while. He's like the RUB forum phoenix.

For everyone else, it all depends on where they are in the cycle. What should we do about it? Honestly, I don't think we should do anything. This is the internet and if you don't like it, take a break or go somewhere else.

For the record, I love everyone on here! I even like our "visitors" who stop by to tell us how mean we are. I'd like them more if they'd stay in their own forums, but that's just me.

Happy VJ'ing!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Welcome back, Brad. I find it hard to believe you spent a whole weekend without your laptop! I bet you were sneaking the web on your phone "I'll be right out" or dropping by the lobby to check e-mail on those late night "ice runs." (I remember your story about Vika being ticked because you were answering e-mails at the beach while on vacation.) You were missed.

So why do people disappear from VJ? I'd say it has a lot to do with their functionality running it's course. While going through the process they have to come here to find answers, waste time, etc., and in doing so they actually feel closer to their SO because they're doing something related to the VJ process. Once their SO arrives and they get through AOS and the real business of life is a daily occurance, VJ kind of loses it's necessity. While they're apart, VJ is another form of "doing something" for the process. After the daily grind of life takes shape, VJ is more of a "waste" of time, even to the point where some SOs don't like the fact that we're on VJ all the time. ("You never take me out to dinner, only waste time on your stupid Visa Journey, blat.")

As for "arguing about the same old thing over and over" well, that's cyclical. When we get groups of folks on here about the same point in their VJ process, they have remarkably similar postings. Those who are "waiting" are still in that whimsical "sunshine and puppy dogs" stage where they can't wait to be with their SO again and everything is rainbows and unicorns and love is grand and they make a lot of posts about it. The theme seems to carry on about romantic topics and what to do in the early stages. After a while, and once we're down to the "old guys" here on the forum, we end up with "I wish my wife would go home so I could have a break" posts and those tend to dominate the scene for a while.

I think folks leave depending on where they are in that cycle and also how much they want to participate in it. We'll see folks who leave come back when their AOS lifting conditions is due or they begin naturalization. Or, they'll stop back by when life starts to come at them in some unexpected way. "Why is she crazy? Is anyone else's wife crazy too?"

We all fall into one, some, or all of those categories and not necessarily at the same time. Since we're all at different positions in that cycle, that's why we have problems sometimes.

Mox will be back. We crossed swords but it wasn't that big of a deal. He floats from one forum to another depending on what suits him. He'll be back and he won't even be mad. He'll come back once he's had enough of the other stuff and he'll fall right back into the RUB forum cycle. Then, once he tires of us again, he'll disappear for while. He's like the RUB forum phoenix.

For everyone else, it all depends on where they are in the cycle. What should we do about it? Honestly, I don't think we should do anything. This is the internet and if you don't like it, take a break or go somewhere else.

For the record, I love everyone on here! I even like our "visitors" who stop by to tell us how mean we are. I'd like them more if they'd stay in their own forums, but that's just me.

Happy VJ'ing!

We could be like the gun magazines and argue...

"Auto or Revolver?" (do they still do that one?) Or ".38 vs. 9mm" Every 4 months or so, OMG next year is the 100th anniversary of the M1911...imagine what that will mean! I am sure we will read things we never even dreamed possible...who'da thought? Can they really be accurate? Do they really have more stopping power than a 48 shot 9mm? Which is better for elephant hunting?

[visaveteran 1]

I dated around quite a bit...and a fair amount of Russian speakers the last half dozen years - here and abroad.

And I know some of you still can't belive it, but I met Vika totally by chance at a dinner party.

I can believe you met your wife by chance...but clearly you had an intention to find (or be very open to finding) a FSU woman, given you spent 6 years dating them here and overseas. So, your marriage to an FSU woman was not solely random. Was it?

Edited June 1, 2010 by visaveteran

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I can believe you met your wife by chance...but clearly you had an intention to find (or be very open to finding) a FSU woman, given you spent 6 years dating them here and overseas. So, your marriage to an FSU woman was not solely random. Was it?

They make the best wives, why would he look randomly? Best to look where FSU women are most common. Russia, Ukraine and Belarus are tops on any such list. Prague really isn't a good place...which makes me all the more suspicious of my wife being a spy. Neither are US dinner parties, but maybe it was one of those dinner parties like James Bond goes to?

Kinda like robbing banks because that is where the money is. If anyone claims they had no idea that FSU women are the best and just stumbled on that gem of wisdom, I will say..."Even a blind pig finds an acorn now and then"

[visaveteran 1]

They make the best wives, why would he look randomly? Best to look where FSU women are most common. Russia, Ukraine and Belarus are tops on any such list. Prague really isn't a good place...which makes me all the more suspicious of my wife being a spy. Neither are US dinner parties, but maybe it was one of those dinner parties like James Bond goes to?

Kinda like robbing banks because that is where the money is. If anyone claims they had no idea that FSU women are the best and just stumbled on that gem of wisdom, I will say..."Even a blind pig finds an acorn now and then"

Brad seems a bit reluctant to own his interest in FSU women. I'd say a 6 year "taste or two" of "Russian speakers" would constitute a deliberate effort to give FSU women a real good "look-see." That he also dated a few Americans doesn't really let him off. I dated American women too. But there was nothing random about my ultimate choice in a wife.

BTW, Gary, your wife DOES sound too good for you which really makes me wonder about her motives. Yes, maybe a spy. That would explain her accepting living in Vermont.

[LvivLovers 39]

I can believe you met your wife by chance...but clearly you had an intention to find (or be very open to finding) a FSU woman, given you spent 6 years dating them here and overseas. So, your marriage to an FSU woman was not solely random. Was it?

For me, the best analogy I can come up with was that I had been having a helluva lot of trouble finding a good used car at the Carmax...too many miles, accidents, plain looks, etc. When suddenly, it came to my attention that the Ferraris across the street were cheaper, drove better, required less maintenance, and were a lot more fun to drive. Once I became aware of the differences, I definately went looking for a FSU woman! But that said, I really lucked out finding my wife...she was a better fit for me than if I had customized the wheels, interior, and paint!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Brad seems a bit reluctant to own his interest in FSU women. I'd say a 6 year "taste or two" of "Russian speakers" would constitute a deliberate effort to give FSU women a real good "look-see." That he also dated a few Americans doesn't really let him off. I dated American women too. But there was nothing random about my ultimate choice in a wife.

BTW, Gary, your wife DOES sound too good for you which really makes me wonder about her motives. Yes, maybe a spy. That would explain her accepting living in Vermont.

Actually I am the best thing that ever happened to the lucky girl.

Hey, really, are you down on Vermont? Seriously? VV it is an awesome place to live, not so much in winter, but we like skiing so what the heck, it IS great for skiing. You have to like doing something outside in winter or you will turn gray and die. Summer is to die for! I really don't care if you are against Vermont, I mean I LIKE being 49th in population...more for me, it is like going to a party and no one else likes deviled eggs.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

For me, the best analogy I can come up with was that I had been having a helluva lot of trouble finding a good used car at the Carmax...too many miles, accidents, plain looks, etc. When suddenly, it came to my attention that the Ferraris across the street were cheaper, drove better, required less maintenance, and were a lot more fun to drive. Once I became aware of the differences, I definately went looking for a FSU woman! But that said, I really lucked out finding my wife...she was a better fit for me than if I had customized the wheels, interior, and paint!

Um, yeah, and you are lucky you didn't get a LADA or VOLGA

[Brad and Vika 129]

Thanks for all the well wishes (from those of you who made them).

Slim, I had forgotten about the vacation posts You are right, many of us reach a saturation point and need a break, self-imposed or not.

Gary, I think we wind up finding relationships where we spend the most time, don't you? If you live or work in Eastern Europe, you meet people there - or in airports close by If you are traveling back and forth, learning Russian as you go, you tend to find common ground with Russian speakers.

LL, I hear you, but one man's Pinto is another man's Ferrari, no? What appeals to me are things like a desire for a close family, loyalty to each other, and shared values. Some guys care most about eye color and bust size. All good I guess, but I just never put a label on what I wanted.

After my recent rant, I am pretty surprised by the mildness of most of the responses I got.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Brad seems a bit reluctant to own his interest in FSU women. I'd say a 6 year "taste or two" of "Russian speakers" would constitute a deliberate effort to give FSU women a real good "look-see." That he also dated a few Americans doesn't really let him off. I dated American women too. But there was nothing random about my ultimate choice in a wife.

BTW, Gary, your wife DOES sound too good for you which really makes me wonder about her motives. Yes, maybe a spy. That would explain her accepting living in Vermont.

I never detected that reluctance on Brad's part. But those of us that met our wives other than by internet marriage agencies, even though neither I nor Brad has ever said a bad word about someone meeting that way, we seem to get pooh-poohed or doubted as if we are somehow saying we are better because we met them in the "normal" way, when I have never suggested that and neither has Brad to my knowledge. Nor was an American meeting a Ukrainian in Prague anything I would consider "normal". I have nothing against online meeting places, regardless what they call them and think it has nothing at all to do with whether you are happy or not with your spouse. Had I not met Alla I probably would have used an internet site, I was done with American women...spoiled rotten by Ukrainian honey.

I have never denied my being the luckiest man on earth, no doubt, I hit the jackpot and never bought a lottery ticket. Go figure. I must have done something right.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Thanks for all the well wishes (from those of you who made them).

Slim, I had forgotten about the vacation posts You are right, many of us reach a saturation point and need a break, self-imposed or not.

Gary, I think we wind up finding relationships where we spend the most time, don't you? If you live or work in Eastern Europe, you meet people there - or in airports close by If you are traveling back and forth, learning Russian as you go, you tend to find common ground with Russian speakers.

LL, I hear you, but one man's Pinto is another man's Ferrari, no? What appeals to me are things like a desire for a close family, loyalty to each other, and shared values. Some guys care most about eye color and bust size. All good I guess, but I just never put a label on what I wanted.

After my recent rant, I am pretty surprised by the mildness of most of the responses I got.

Brad. A Pinto is not a Ferrari, sorry. But I get the analogy.

Yes, of course we meet where we hang out. I was in Ukraine for two years and on weekends and holidays traveled to other eastern European places...why not? Hey I'll take 3 days in Prague anytime! I will sleep when I get back. It was neigh on impossible to meet anyone BUT Ukrainians for a while, not that I am complaining.

You were fortunate in meeting Vika where you did and I was fortunate to meet Alla where I did. No worries, no complaints.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

After my recent rant, I am pretty surprised by the mildness of most of the responses I got.

Brad, you scared the bejeezus out us! We're kinda skeered to say anything now.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Brad, you scared the bejeezus out us! We're kinda skeered to say anything now.

There are still a few brave-hearted, studly internet heroes among our number though

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

There are still a few brave-hearted, studly internet heroes among our number though

Alla is gone until June 15..."studly" is on hold.

[slim 1,525]

Ahhhhh. Guns and pie. Just the way I like it!

(And you may not be able to call a Pinto a Ferrari, but you can get a Ferrari body kit for a Fiero. Bez problemo!)