New Sticky Needed

[Fandango 1,439]

I read the divorce and effects forum a lot, and when someone new comes in there, the same q's are always asked. Of course, nothing new there, but the Q's are 'can I send him/her back?' 'can I get out of my affidavit of support' etc.

I know when peeps are filing for a fiance/spouse, they are all blinded by love and giddy, but I think this trend is showing that many enter into these things not knowing what they're signing up for legally. It's just a suggestion that a sticky be put somewhere - maybe in the K1, k3 section, to let people know, if all goes to sh!t, it's not a question of returning the merchandise with a 20% restocking fee.

[raymaga 25]

Totally agree.... people have to be more aware that this is a serious process with serious consequences when it doesn't work out.

[Syltan 1]

I agree also. the affidavit of support is a legally binding document - when you read the fine print and sign it. you don't get excused from the support because it didn't 'work out'.

[cjgator 2]

This is such an important and overlooked area you have brought up, Happy.. My own sense of it is maybe because, not only are so many blinded by love at the outset, that also many have not been through a divorce that resulted in an alimony judgment, so even if they do read the fine print, they have no clue what to expect.

I personally think the single most important piece of advice that can be offered to someone (particularly the sponsor) going through a process like this, is an education on what signing that I-864 really binds you to. I know about too many cases where, if the relationship between the immigrant and sponsor was going south, while the approval/AOS process was still ongoing, the soon-to-be immigrant picks a fight with the sponsor spouse and gets the police to come to the house on a domestic issue. Then, that person goes and files a VAWA petition, uses the manufactured police report as evidence, gets approved for VAWA, leaves the spouse, and then uses that signed I-864 to hit up the sponsor spouse for federally-approved alimony, for what could, in theory, be a functional lifetime. People really need to understand what that I-864 means. That document allows a spouse to seek spousal support (alimony) in the event of a marriage failure, for a period of time far longer than what most state courts would ever award in a traditional (U.S. Citizen/U.S. Citizen) divorce.

For all of you here who have faced genuinely violent issues with your spouses, and had/have a well-founded basis to pursue VAWA, my case examples are not directed at you, and I am very sorry for the pain you have endured, during what should have been a wonderful journey for you. It is a sad reality, however, that Federal regulations put in place to protect abused immigrants, have also been liberally used as an avenue to break the backs of loving and well-meaning U.S. Citizen spouses, by nefarious individuals, who used these trusting individuals solely as a vehicle to get into this country, and get their life started, at the sponsor's expense.

-CJ

I read the divorce and effects forum a lot, and when someone new comes in there, the same q's are always asked. Of course, nothing new there, but the Q's are 'can I send him/her back?' 'can I get out of my affidavit of support' etc.

I know when peeps are filing for a fiance/spouse, they are all blinded by love and giddy, but I think this trend is showing that many enter into these things not knowing what they're signing up for legally. It's just a suggestion that a sticky be put somewhere - maybe in the K1, k3 section, to let people know, if all goes to sh!t, it's not a question of returning the merchandise with a 20% restocking fee.

[trillium13 84]

I read the divorce and effects forum a lot, and when someone new comes in there, the same q's are always asked. Of course, nothing new there, but the Q's are 'can I send him/her back?' 'can I get out of my affidavit of support' etc.

I don't think your idea is a bad one-but I can't help but notice that a majority of people who post those questions are newbies who probably never did any research in the first place.

[ScottThuy 140]

spousal immigration isnt the same as adopting a pet from the shelter... so many think if things dont work out they can just take em back and avoid any commitment that has been made...

[Fandango 1,439]

I don't think your idea is a bad one-but I can't help but notice that a majority of people who post those questions are newbies who probably never did any research in the first place.

v good point.

I don't really expect it to help anything...after all, people will do what they want to do, and no one expects their visa journey to end in a ball of flames. I guess I was just letting off steam, lol.

[Fandango 1,439]

This is such an important and overlooked area you have brought up, Happy.. My own sense of it is maybe because, not only are so many blinded by love at the outset, that also many have not been through a divorce that resulted in an alimony judgment, so even if they do read the fine print, they have no clue what to expect.

I personally think the single most important piece of advice that can be offered to someone (particularly the sponsor) going through a process like this, is an education on what signing that I-864 really binds you to. I know about too many cases where, if the relationship between the immigrant and sponsor was going south, while the approval/AOS process was still ongoing, the soon-to-be immigrant picks a fight with the sponsor spouse and gets the police to come to the house on a domestic issue. Then, that person goes and files a VAWA petition, uses the manufactured police report as evidence, gets approved for VAWA, leaves the spouse, and then uses that signed I-864 to hit up the sponsor spouse for federally-approved alimony, for what could, in theory, be a functional lifetime. People really need to understand what that I-864 means. That document allows a spouse to seek spousal support (alimony) in the event of a marriage failure, for a period of time far longer than what most state courts would ever award in a traditional (U.S. Citizen/U.S. Citizen) divorce.

For all of you here who have faced genuinely violent issues with your spouses, and had/have a well-founded basis to pursue VAWA, my case examples are not directed at you, and I am very sorry for the pain you have endured, during what should have been a wonderful journey for you. It is a sad reality, however, that Federal regulations put in place to protect abused immigrants, have also been liberally used as an avenue to break the backs of loving and well-meaning U.S. Citizen spouses, by nefarious individuals, who used these trusting individuals solely as a vehicle to get into this country, and get their life started, at the sponsor's expense.

-CJ

I can sympathize, tbh...I withdrew my own petition, a month before interview. An 8 year 'solid-as-a-rock' relationship from a low to no fraud country, we met and spent most of our relationship living together, common language, no big age difference, etc. (read: no red flags). I would read some people's predicaments, and think 'thank God that won't be me' lol. He had an excellent job and loads of money in the bank. Well, I won't go into details, but that all fell by the wayside, and had I not withdrawn the petition, I'd have been screwed. LOL

I'm not suggesting that it was fraud related, but mainly, relationships fail, even the 'seems solid' ones.

It's not something everyone should plan for....but even the best of situations prove to sometimes be not so great, and in that case, that's when this becomes an issue that perhaps was overlooked when signing...

Edited May 17, 2010 by Happy Bunny

[trillium13 84]

v good point.

I don't really expect it to help anything...after all, people will do what they want to do, and no one expects their visa journey to end in a ball of flames. I guess I was just letting off steam, lol.

Certainly understandable. It is a frustrating topic. A few too many people look before they leap, so to speak. The whole actions=consequences is elusive to some.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

Most of these relationships fail for the normal reasons. No fraud involved.

If you are going to pin a thread about it, the first thing that should be in it is this -

Just because you are the USC and your marriage fell apart, don't assume you have the power to "cancel" the immigration benefit.