Men Stopping Violence

[Artegal 1]

One in three women are physically or sexually assaulted by a man sometime in her lifetime. Every day in the United States, an average of three women are murdered by a partner or ex-partner. Over half a million women are being stalked right now by a man.

Aren't there laws to protect women from domestic violence?

Yes. But we cannot rely on the criminal justice system to solve this problem. Violence against women will only end when we all get involved, men and women together. http://www.menstoppingviolence.org

Though not disagreing with this organizations point and I think its a good idea to work within the community and not in the courts in order to solve domestic abuse--I was kind of surprised at what the very broad definition of what abuse is by this organizations definition. On the infomerical the representative of http://www.menstoppingviolence.org stated that abuse is not just physical and sexual, but it can be mental, emotional, and even simple things such as withholding money from a spouse. The interviewer stated aren't you giving men a bad name--and the representative of this organization stated that no--because men are in constant denial that they are abusive. I guess by that standard of what they define as abuse then that would make anyone and everyone abusive at sometime. I dunno about that--I mean there are very violent and mean people. But relationships are not so one sided, we can't just paint all men as abusers.

But the reason I have post this topic here is because there seems to be a trend to paint all american men as abusers. And this organization at least recognizes that further legislation and the justice system is not the answer to correcting the problem. IMBRA while good intentioned is really just another ineffective law that further takes away the rights of our citizens. Social change cannot be legislated.

[texasseoul 0]

One in three women are physically or sexually assaulted by a man sometime in her lifetime. Every day in the United States, an average of three women are murdered by a partner or ex-partner. Over half a million women are being stalked right now by a man.

Aren't there laws to protect women from domestic violence?

Yes. But we cannot rely on the criminal justice system to solve this problem. Violence against women will only end when we all get involved, men and women together. http://www.menstoppingviolence.org

Though not disagreing with this organizations point and I think its a good idea to work within the community and not in the courts in order to solve domestic abuse--I was kind of surprised at what the very broad definition of what abuse is by this organizations definition. On the infomerical the representative of http://www.menstoppingviolence.org stated that abuse is not just physical and sexual, but it can be mental, emotional, and even simple things such as withholding money from a spouse. The interviewer stated aren't you giving men a bad name--and the representative of this organization stated that no--because men are in constant denial that they are abusive. I guess by that standard of what they define as abuse then that would make anyone and everyone abusive at sometime. I dunno about that--I mean there are very violent and mean people. But relationships are not so one sided, we can't just paint all men as abusers.

But the reason I have post this topic here is because there seems to be a trend to paint all american men as abusers. And this organization at least recognizes that further legislation and the justice system is not the answer to correcting the problem. IMBRA while good intentioned is really just another ineffective law that further takes away the rights of our citizens. Social change cannot be legislated.

I was abused by a couple different girlfriends at one time or another. I literally mean physically abused, and I would not fight back. All I could do is cover my face and head and let them whale away. One hit me in the head with a shoe causing a huge gash. Of course, if they had not been drunk, I don't think their behavior would have been the same. I guess I was abusive because I was withholding sex because they were 3 sheets to the wind and I was rather disgusted. So if sex is withheld is that abuse also.... it can be mentally tormenting....

[Artegal 1]

I believe the representative for men stopping violence did say that withholding affection was a form of abuse--any type of neglect, food, love, water, shelter, sex, money--bascially was also considered abuse by this groups standard. In fact they stated that a significant number of their clients are not at all physically violent--they are just abusive in these other ways--with the potential to become violent.

[iceyspots 0]

So if a woman doesn't get that gucci bag or pradda dress that could be considered withholding (abuse) ? lol

[Artegal 1]

I would also add that in your case you made a choice not fight back with violence--and that is one of the tennents of men stopping violence is that its a choice that men make to be abusive or not--but since you withheld sex you would probably still be considered abusive.

[Dean iWait 0]

So if a woman withheld sex that would also be considered abuse right? I've been abused my whole life and didn't even know it.

[texasseoul 0]

This is killing me. So basically any behavior we exhibit can be construed as abusive.

It sounds more like..... "if you don't do what I want or say or give me what I want then it is abuse." Abuse should only be considered abuse if the situation is extreme and the health and safety of the person is at risk.

I have known some women though that if they didn't get exactly what they wanted when they wanted it was life and death.....lollllll Some men too!!! Not to be chauvinist....