Spotting Fraud Before the Marriage

[ms_jinga_lala 0]

How can you know if your non-USC partner is committing fraud? What are some warning signs? What are some red flags? I've been looking around the site and most of the old posts with links and information are outdated and the links don't work anymore. Any suggestions, ideas, tips, etc?

Thanks in advance!

[Otto 83]

What makes you ask the question?

[djeslinger 0]

How can you know if your non-USC partner is committing fraud?

If you ask this question you have concerns, if you have concerns you are not certain she loves you. So... Why would you consider marrying someone you aren't sure loves you?

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

How can you know if your non-USC partner is committing fraud? What are some warning signs? What are some red flags? I've been looking around the site and most of the old posts with links and information are outdated and the links don't work anymore. Any suggestions, ideas, tips, etc?

Thanks in advance!

There is no sure fire way to know. If there was then nobody would ever get scammed.

Red flags include repeatedly lying to you, frequently having an excuse for not being able to talk/chat/spend time with you, sudden changes in attitude or behavior after "milestones" (like getting a petition approval), sneaking off and leaving you alone when you come to visit. Of course, there can be perfectly reasonable explanations for these things, as well.

If it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't. If you really want to test it, tell them you've decided you've had it with the US government, you're going to abandon the petition, and you're going to move to their country to be with them. Their response should tell you what you need to know.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Honestly you need to remove Immigration as an issue. Does the relationship itself feel "right"? For me a relationship not being right is like Jim described above:

- not being able to talk "all the time"

- failing to keep in contact/email

- not telling you about their day and getting defensive if you ask too many qns

- keeping secrets

- not being as affectionate as normal

Stuff like that. It's hard doing a relationship long distance. Not all of these "signs" are necessarily that s/he is using you. Could simply be s/he's upset, lonely, depressed, or having second thoughts about the relationship but unable to express them. Talk to him/her and see what s/he says.

** moved from "K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures" to General Immigration Related Discussion as this isn't a K1 discussion, more a general Immigration "issue"**

Edited May 14, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony

[sachinky 465]

What's going on Ms. Jinga Lala?

Care to elaborate? Then we could perhaps share our thoughts and opinions on it.

[Darnell 8,478]

IMO - a thorough review of the foreign fiancee's email accounts and IM screen names will yield as much, or as little, evidence that yer looking for.

[sara..... 371]

How can you know if your non-USC partner is committing fraud? What are some warning signs? What are some red flags? I've been looking around the site and most of the old posts with links and information are outdated and the links don't work anymore. Any suggestions, ideas, tips, etc?

Thanks in advance!

if u feel that something is not really right .......then look deeper .....if the person has a million constant excuses for not being on line or they shut off their phone when u try to call or keep changing their number and give u no valid reason for it..u catch them in lies that are small things to lie about......say things that makes no sense at all as if it was meant for someone else maybe a comment on something they stated u said but u know for a fact it never came from you...get angry for no reason and become a drama queen or king after something things are over like petition or interview..try to make everything your fault if there is a disagreement ..hmmm i dont know im prolly the last person to give advise as i was fooled for five years, but now that i look back these are some of the signs i should have paid attention to...

sara

[mainyasha 0]

if u feel that something is not really right .......then look deeper .....if the person has a million constant excuses for not being on line or they shut off their phone when u try to call or keep changing their number and give u no valid reason for it..u catch them in lies that are small things to lie about......say things that makes no sense at all as if it was meant for someone else maybe a comment on something they stated u said but u know for a fact it never came from you...get angry for no reason and become a drama queen or king after something things are over like petition or interview..try to make everything your fault if there is a disagreement ..hmmm i dont know im prolly the last person to give advise as i was fooled for five years, but now that i look back these are some of the signs i should have paid attention to...

sara

if you need to ask this question then you must hold off on the marriage..

[Kittyfang 6]

Not to go against what everyone has said, but, in all reality, spotting a sham marriage is the same thing as knowing in advance if your spouse will cheat on you, steal from you, abuse you, etc.. It's not a question of "having doubts" now, although if you do have doubts, then it's time to do some very deep introspection. It's a question of looking out for yourself before you bind your life to someone else's. Maybe the OP is wondering about the tell tale signs of a sham marriage for the same reasons that people read articles entitled "is your spouse cheating?".

To answer the question; no, there are no precise signs, but you would do well to follow your guts. If there is a trail of evidences that are bothering you, follow it and see where it leads. If all else fails, use the check list used by USCIS.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

I can say with 100% accuracy that my wife won't cheat on me and that I won't cheat on her. She or I could be at the end of the world, separated from one another, but we both still wouldn't do that.

Trust is one of the most important cornerstones of a marriage and if one partner would always have doubt about the other one cheating or being used for a Green Card or some other thing, there's no basis to vow to live together for richer or poor until death do you part.

I waited until age 49 until I got married, and there were several relationships that came close. But you know when it's right, because there's no doubt in your mind anymore and you can't imagine a life without the other one.

[Kittyfang 6]

I can say with 100% accuracy that my wife won't cheat on me and that I won't cheat on her. She or I could be at the end of the world, separated from one another, but we both still wouldn't do that.

Trust is one of the most important cornerstones of a marriage and if one partner would always have doubt about the other one cheating or being used for a Green Card or some other thing, there's no basis to vow to live together for richer or poor until death do you part.

I waited until age 49 until I got married, and there were several relationships that came close. But you know when it's right, because there's no doubt in your mind anymore and you can't imagine a life without the other one.

I have to agree with you. As I've said, it's difficult to know in advance if someone is deserving of trust. But yes, when it is right, you know... It's not something you can explain.

That is why I advise that the OP should make sure that it's well placed. If she has issues with something regarding her fiancé then by all means, explore them.

*edit*

I don't know why, but this whole thread is reminding me of that question that almost EVERY couple asks each other; "Would you do it for a million dollars?" That movie (I've never seen it, but I've heard about it and had the question asked to me. The name escapes me, but it's with Demi More) has scared relationship building forever.

Edited May 14, 2010 by Kittyfang

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

I can say with 100% accuracy that my wife won't cheat on me and that I won't cheat on her. She or I could be at the end of the world, separated from one another, but we both still wouldn't do that.

I'm sorry but that's just BS.

[Nartaki 7]

One of my neighbors was in a similar situation as yours. He was married to a US Citizen and they were removing conditions. His wife often told us that he was sweetest guy in the world, would bend over to do anything and everything, was loving, caring and trustworthy...in short, the perfect husband. She often mentioned plans of buying a big house, having kids and going on nice vacations with him.

The day the dude got his 10 year greencard, his attitude changed dramatically. He stopped talking to his wife, harassed her for money, became abusive, saw other women and ultimately got divorced.

There were no warning signs whatsoever. His wife, her family and all of us were shocked and couldnt believe it.

So to the OP: There can be NO warning signs if its a sham marriage. There are some people who are highly skilled in hiding their true intentions.

[Kittyfang 6]

One of my neighbors was in a similar situation as yours. He was married to a US Citizen and they were removing conditions. His wife often told us that he was sweetest guy in the world, would bend over to do anything and everything, was loving, caring and trustworthy...in short, the perfect husband. She often mentioned plans of buying a big house, having kids and going on nice vacations with him.

The day the dude got his 10 year greencard, his attitude changed dramatically. He stopped talking to his wife, harassed her for money, became abusive, saw other women and ultimately got divorced.

There were no warning signs whatsoever. His wife, her family and all of us were shocked and couldnt believe it.

So to the OP: There can be NO warning signs if its a sham marriage. There are some people who are highly skilled in hiding their true intentions.

I would also add that for some people, who suddenly change like this, it might not be preconceived. Maybe the sudden opportunities brought one by the GC are just too much for them.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not making excuses for them.