Divorce

[GlenAndLisa 0]

I never thought it would happen, but Glen and I split up. I will spare you the details for now, but I don't know where to go from here, and I need some help.

He's moved back to England because I asked him to leave. I have no idea where he is, though. How do I divorce him? I don't want to talk to him and therefore I can't get his location. Plus, I don't think he actually has an address, but is just staying with friends. I can't serve him with divorce papers because I don't know where he is. I can't post a Summons for Divorce in a national newspaper (which is what my lawyer told me to do) because it's costs $9000.

Is there a period of time that we need to be living apart which will allow me to file for divorce whether I know where he is or not? Like a year or two?

I am the one who kicked him out, so I doubt I could file based on abandonment, even though the break-up of the marriage was more his fault than mine.

PLEASE HELP!!

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Each state has a different law about divorce. In California you need to post in the local "official" paper for X weeks. This is usually about the same price as a classified ad. What state are you in ?

[Nagishkaw 510]

If he is back in the UK, he doesn't need to be served. If your state is no-fault, ( the reason for the breakdown in the marriage regardless of who's 'fault' it was and why you are divorcing really doesn't matter ),you can get the divorce, show up in court and win by default because obviously he will not show. He doesn't even need a copy of the divorce decree. Let him figure out how to get it. And yes, you need to post an ad in the local newspaper. You are paying to retain council, let your lawyer handle it.

Edited May 8, 2010 by Nagishkaw

[Heracles 417]

Each state has a different law about divorce. In California you need to post in the local "official" paper for X weeks. This is usually about the same price as a classified ad. What state are you in ?

#######?

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

so is someone gonna move this to the changes forum?

[Rhiannercakes 14]

~*Moved from "Off Topic" to "Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits"*~

[GlenAndLisa 0]

If he is back in the UK, he doesn't need to be served. If your state is no-fault, ( the reason for the breakdown in the marriage regardless of who's 'fault' it was and why you are divorcing really doesn't matter ),you can get the divorce, show up in court and win by default because obviously he will not show. He doesn't even need a copy of the divorce decree. Let him figure out how to get it. And yes, you need to post an ad in the local newspaper. You are paying to retain council, let your lawyer handle it.

So, local paper, you mean a UK paper? Because I have no idea WHERE in England he is, so therefore I'd have to post it in a national paper there, and they quoted me at $9000. This is crazy.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

What kind of notice did you price ? Is it a legal notice ? You sound like you are taking out a full page ad. Is that the price for a 2 line classified ad

[Darnell 8,478]

YOu might want to review your local state guidelines for posting the divorce notice - instead of relying on your attorney to take yer 9000 to pay for a national advert.

Many states only require 'local paper notification', that local paper where the FILER (in this case, YOU) resides.

If yer confused, check the court that has jurisdiction - they SHOULD have a web site with the process outlined. If not, get into that county courthouse, ask the clerk of the court's office about it.

You can file the divorce paperwork without his signature, but pay particular attention to the 'living apart timelines/guidelines' for your state.

Edited May 9, 2010 by Darnell

[pushbrk 12,910]

YOu might want to review your local state guidelines for posting the divorce notice - instead of relying on your attorney to take yer 9000 to pay for a national advert.

Many states only require 'local paper notification', that local paper where the FILER (in this case, YOU) resides.

If yer confused, check the court that has jurisdiction - they SHOULD have a web site with the process outlined. If not, get into that county courthouse, ask the clerk of the court's office about it.

You can file the divorce paperwork without his signature, but pay particular attention to the 'living apart timelines/guidelines' for your state.

Yeah, I'd find a new attorney or do without one. Bear in mind you actually don't know where your husband is, so you also don't know he's in any particular country. Check on your State's filing by publication rules.

Edited May 10, 2010 by pushbrk

[GlenAndLisa 0]

What kind of notice did you price ? Is it a legal notice ? You sound like you are taking out a full page ad. Is that the price for a 2 line classified ad

Well, according to my lawyer, I need to post the entire Summons, so yes, it is practically a full page ad.

[GlenAndLisa 0]

YOu might want to review your local state guidelines for posting the divorce notice - instead of relying on your attorney to take yer 9000 to pay for a national advert.

Many states only require 'local paper notification', that local paper where the FILER (in this case, YOU) resides.

If yer confused, check the court that has jurisdiction - they SHOULD have a web site with the process outlined. If not, get into that county courthouse, ask the clerk of the court's office about it.

You can file the divorce paperwork without his signature, but pay particular attention to the 'living apart timelines/guidelines' for your state.

My lawyer wasn't going to take $9000. She only charged me for a 1/2 an hour because she was trying to save me as much money as she could. I guess I'm asking how I can find out the laws without actually having to pay for a lawyer to give me advice that they aren't actually sure about. Everyone I've talked to wants to do the whole divorce or nothing. She was the only one who'd give me any advice at all. And she obviously didn't know.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

My lawyer wasn't going to take $9000. She only charged me for a 1/2 an hour because she was trying to save me as much money as she could. I guess I'm asking how I can find out the laws without actually having to pay for a lawyer to give me advice that they aren't actually sure about. Everyone I've talked to wants to do the whole divorce or nothing. She was the only one who'd give me any advice at all. And she obviously didn't know.

You can try the Circuit Clerk, Registrar Office, or whatever they are called in your area (I'm referring to the official body wherein domestic cases are filed and recorded). Most of these offices will have a 'pro bono' packet wherein persons may file their own domestic paperwork.

However, the situation you are in is not the norm. The answers to your questions may not be found in 'do it yourself' instructions. Who is the divorce 'expert' in your town? There are usually at least one or two attorneys (even in small cities) who specialize in this area. I would call the office of a local expert and ask how much a consult would be. Your attorney may not be an expert in divorce law.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

One more time in American English: what State of the Union are you in?

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I never thought it would happen, but Glen and I split up. I will spare you the details for now, but I don't know where to go from here, and I need some help.

He's moved back to England because I asked him to leave. I have no idea where he is, though. How do I divorce him? I don't want to talk to him and therefore I can't get his location. Plus, I don't think he actually has an address, but is just staying with friends. I can't serve him with divorce papers because I don't know where he is. I can't post a Summons for Divorce in a national newspaper (which is what my lawyer told me to do) because it's costs $9000.

Is there a period of time that we need to be living apart which will allow me to file for divorce whether I know where he is or not? Like a year or two?

I am the one who kicked him out, so I doubt I could file based on abandonment, even though the break-up of the marriage was more his fault than mine.

PLEASE HELP!!

Can you contact his family? I'm sure he wants the divorce settled as quick as you. So perhaps you could put a notice in his family's town paper? Or serve him at that address? Could you email him and ask for a current address so you can "both move on with your lives"?

I'm sorry. It's never easy. I wish you all the best.