Anyone who have Different Religion or beliefs with their Partner??

[Peikko 1,575]

What are "normal events that a child growing up in the US would expect to experience"? Does that include Santa Claus or eating BBQ spare ribs? Would you have the same concerns about parents raising their children Christian?

If I were a single parent, I would not be raising him in any religion. But I don't find the concept of raising a child to adhere to a certain religion to be odd, maybe simply due to how ubiquitous the practice is.

I do, yes if that means they are excluded from events, or forced to only attend christian events. I think it's important to give a child perspective to allow them to make their own spiritual choices - to me 'raising' a child implies that the child will have no choices although I know that's not necessarily true. I only asked about muslim practices because I don't know enough about it to know if there is likely to be any conflict, and no, I certainly don't think that simply not eating pork counts as being excluded from experience, as long as the child is also taught that those who do not follow that custom or practice are not doing so simply to disrespect his religion, or indeed that those who do are tainted in some way.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I personally don't have a different faith than my husband, but I have a nice success story to share.

My great uncle and aunt have been married now for over 40 years... my uncle is Catholic and my aunt is Jewish. They decided to raise my cousins Jewish but to let them participate in Christmas Eve dinner and Easter Sunday with my side of the family. My mom tells me there was a lot of arguing and problems in the beginning and a lot of compromising.

They just went on vacation to the Bahamas and renewed their vows So it can work out just fine. No one ever said marriage was easy!

Good for them!

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I do, yes if that means they are excluded from events, or forced to only attend christian events. I think it's important to give a child perspective to allow them to make their own spiritual choices - to me 'raising' a child implies that the child will have no choices although I know that's not necessarily true. I only asked about muslim practices because I don't know enough about it to know if there is likely to be any conflict, and no, I certainly don't think that simply not eating pork counts as being excluded from experience, as long as the child is also taught that those who do not follow that custom or practice are not doing so simply to disrespect his religion, or indeed that those who do are tainted in some way.

A lot of it depends on how Muslim the parents choose to be. I have Muslim friends who were not allowed to play soccer after a certain age because they had to wear shorts. And I have Muslim friends who did wear shorts, their parents didn't care (more of the latter than the former).

[one...two...tree 2,762]

to me 'raising' a child implies that the child will have no choices although I know that's not necessarily true.

MC, that would apply to every value you instill in your child unless you completely leave everything left to your child to decide on their own.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

MC, that would apply to every value you instill in your child unless you completely leave everything left to your child to decide on their own.

She's just being preachy, just like the people she constantly rails against.

[chri'stina 190]

We will raise Kavi as a Christian, meaning while he is young he is going to experience our Christian lifestyle and I will teach him about Jesus. He has to make his own choice when he is old enough to understand to make such a choice. I would want him to believe what I do, of course. What parent wouldn't want their child to choose what they think is the best way to live their life? That doesn't mean he will be "forced" into anything. I was never forced.

[Peikko 1,575]

MC, that would apply to every value you instill in your child unless you completely leave everything left to your child to decide on their own.

Don't be ridiculous. I am not talking about values, but about practices. I have already said it is very important to teach a child a moral value system. As A.J has said, some practices can indeed impact a child negatively - not allowing a child to participate in soccer because of wearing shorts is intrusive. It stops a child from doing something that really, there is no reason they should not be doing.

She's just being preachy, just like the people she constantly rails against.

What people do I rail against A.J?

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

As A.J has said, some practices can indeed impact a child negatively - not allowing a child to participate in soccer because of wearing shorts is intrusive. It stops a child from doing something that really, there is no reason they should not be doing.

1. I never said my friends who were prohibited from playing soccer after a certain age have been impacted negatively. I don't believe they have been.

2. When you say "there is no reason they should not be doing" certain things, you're substituting a parents value system with yours. I don't think you have the right to do that.

What people do I rail against A.J?

People of faith.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

My mother is Jewish but had a largely secular upbringing, and my dad was Catholic. We were brought up Catholic. My mother actually taught CCD for my brother's class one year because of a shortage of teachers, and they certainly didn't mind that she wasn't Catholic. My dad took us to church every Sunday, and of course, my mother didn't come. After my parents divorced (which had nothing to do with religion, by the way...my dad ended up marrying another Jewish lady), on non-dad weekends, my mother would drop us off at church and go have coffee with her friends. I always envied that. Anyhoo, my dad actually wasn't all that devout. Once my siblings and I were old enough to decide that we no longer wanted to go to church (which was the case for all three of us), my dad didn't push it. In fact, he stopped going himself.

I guess my point is the degree of devoutness seems to be important. I'm sure there are many success stories about interfaith couples who are very religious, but I'd guess that the majority of highly devout people would prefer to be with someone who shares their beliefs.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

... the majority of highly devout people would prefer to be with someone who shares their beliefs.

I believe this is true. I also believe that the majority of non-devout people would prefer to be with someone who was similarly non-devout. When you're not devout like me, being around a chirpy religious type 24/7 can be grating.

[Peikko 1,575]

1. I never said my friends who were prohibited from playing soccer after a certain age have been impacted negatively. I don't believe they have been.

2. When you say "there is no reason they should not be doing" certain things, you're substituting a parents value system with yours. I don't think you have the right to do that.

People of faith.

Oh, I see. So you believe that no belief is a religion as well do you?

I have no way of knowing if the children that were not allowed to participate in soccer after a certain age felt that this was unjust to them, they may not have liked soccer. However, unless you believe that wearing shorts is intrinsically wrong, or that soccer is intrinsically wrong and a child is passionate about playing the game then not being able to play it because of a belief that wearing shorts is wrong would be a negative impact for no good reason.

[Peikko 1,575]

I believe this is true. I also believe that the majority of non-devout people would prefer to be with someone who was similarly non-devout. When you're not devout like me, being around a chirpy religious type 24/7 can be grating.

Empress of Groovy, on 07 May 2010 - 12:02 PM, said:

... the majority of highly devout people would prefer to be with someone who shares their beliefs.

I agree with that - if it is jarring then it will not work.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

So you believe that no belief is a religion as well do you?

It's a belief system. Whether it qualifies as a 'religion' I don't know. I don't think it particularly matters.

I have no way of knowing if the children that were not allowed to participate in soccer after a certain age felt that this was unjust to them...

Whether a 10 year old feels something is 'unjust' or not was never the point. Now you're pulling a Boo Yah on me and rebutting something that was never said

The point... once again... is whether not allowing them harmed them. Not whether their immediate reaction was to stomp their feet on the ground and yell "not fair!".

... unless you believe that wearing shorts is intrinsically wrong...

Some people do believe just that. I don't share the belief but neither of us gets to replace their value system with our own just because we think we're cooler.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Don't be ridiculous. I am not talking about values, but about practices. I have already said it is very important to teach a child a moral value system. As A.J has said, some practices can indeed impact a child negatively - not allowing a child to participate in soccer because of wearing shorts is intrusive. It stops a child from doing something that really, there is no reason they should not be doing.

You framed it in a way to suggest that raising a child a certain religion eliminates them from making the choice on their own and what I'm pointing out is that you raise your child with a set of values and principles in the same way (you don't offer them alternative choices). In the Catholic faith, once a child becomes a teenager, there is a ceremony called Confirmation where they confirm their faith and must do it of their own free will. Now you may argue that after years of being raised Catholic, how could one even dare to question whether they want to remain Catholic, but there is a natural process in adolescence when one begins to re-examine beliefs and values they were taught. Even in the most domineering, dogmatic family structure, it happens. I'm not suggesting that it's okay for parents to be overbearing with their beliefs, but IMO, it's pretty difficult to completely suppress the natural tendency to question the very values and beliefs we were taught as children. Enlightenment would not be possible without such a trait.

Edited May 7, 2010 by El Buscador

[Empress of Groovy 373]

I believe this is true. I also believe that the majority of non-devout people would prefer to be with someone who was similarly non-devout. When you're not devout like me, being around a chirpy religious type 24/7 can be grating.

I hear ya.

I wish some people would be more discerning with their blessings distribution. I mean, I appreciate the sentiment behind it, but it doesn't consider that maybe I have my own belief system that doesn't involve blessings, but fondue.