The List and Akonta Sekan

[Mr. K 8]

I 'd like to hear from men (or anyone else in the know) who have had a traditional wedding ceremony in Ghana. What items were required from you to give to the woman’s family? I am especially interested in hearing the cash amount (akonta sekan) given.

Others are welcomed to chime in as well.

[midge and isi 8]

It varies greatly from what i have heard. Are you looking for engagement ceramony or wedding? I will ask around to some of the people that i know- because my fiance wont answer it for me..... its one of those things they arnt suppose to tell you!

I would be careful if you are going to have a traditional wedding ceramony in ghana and then apply for a k-1. Ghana is picky about things, some engagement pictures have been questioned at interviews. We are waiting until my fiance AOS to go back and do the traditional wedding so to not have any worries about mis-repensation on what has taken place in regards to marriage.

Hope it helps!

Midge

[Mr. K 8]

It varies greatly from what i have heard. Are you looking for engagement ceramony or wedding? I will ask around to some of the people that i know- because my fiance wont answer it for me..... its one of those things they arnt suppose to tell you!

I would be careful if you are going to have a traditional wedding ceramony in ghana and then apply for a k-1. Ghana is picky about things, some engagement pictures have been questioned at interviews. We are waiting until my fiance AOS to go back and do the traditional wedding so to not have any worries about mis-repensation on what has taken place in regards to marriage.

Hope it helps!

Midge

Thanks. I look forward to hearing back.

It's actually for a wedding ceremony after being married in the U.S.

[midge and isi 8]

The thing people keep saying it varies by family. But I will keep talking to my fiance and friends....

I found this. Might help.

http://www.projectwedding.com/biography/list/Ghana_Bride/the-ghanaian-marriage-ceremony

I know it might not be something you want to do because its suppose to be the 'mans' job. but your fiance might be able to help you out so you know what her family is expecting.

My fiance and I have been incorporating both american and ghanaian traditions into everything that we do- since neither one of our families are sooo traditional that we can't work around things to make it our own.

[agynyame 2]

Mr. K,

I believe the list varies according to ethnic group requirements. The fees might steep depending on education and things of that nature. I was able to negotiate some items on the list as it did not make sense (i.e. sewing machines and other things, wife to be did not know how to sew). The bridal dowry, I told them that I was investing it in her education so they did not get that from me. I think the good thing is looking at the list and raising objections should you find any. They try to break your neck when they realize you are not in Ghana. So for example, I told them I was not buying alcohol for people to booze of thankfully, the father also agreed so we made that cash. Also, since more or less the whole wedding was on me as father said if you are doing Western wedding then responsibility is on you. I went back to the list and curtailed some items and used it rather for the wedding reception. I have attached a copy of the list I was sent. The fact is I had a laugh getting some of the items. Picture an osofo forgetting that I have my collar on and standing in the women's section at Bloomingdale's getting some of those items... hmm very interesting times. It took a while for me to realize why everyone woman was looking at me when they passed. But once I explained to the sales lady she was very helpful in helping find the items needed.

I have attached a copy of the list for your perusal.

List for Marriage.doc

[Mr. K 8]

Mr. K,

I believe the list varies according to ethnic group requirements. The fees might steep depending on education and things of that nature. I was able to negotiate some items on the list as it did not make sense (i.e. sewing machines and other things, wife to be did not know how to sew). The bridal dowry, I told them that I was investing it in her education so they did not get that from me. I think the good thing is looking at the list and raising objections should you find any. They try to break your neck when they realize you are not in Ghana. So for example, I told them I was not buying alcohol for people to booze of thankfully, the father also agreed so we made that cash. Also, since more or less the whole wedding was on me as father said if you are doing Western wedding then responsibility is on you. I went back to the list and curtailed some items and used it rather for the wedding reception. I have attached a copy of the list I was sent. The fact is I had a laugh getting some of the items. Picture an osofo forgetting that I have my collar on and standing in the women's section at Bloomingdale's getting some of those items... hmm very interesting times. It took a while for me to realize why everyone woman was looking at me when they passed. But once I explained to the sales lady she was very helpful in helping find the items needed.

I have attached a copy of the list for your perusal.

List for Marriage.doc

agynyame,

Thanks for the info. It will help a lot. Even though they vary (as you and midge.mij mentioned), I will use your list to gauge the list I receive. Unfortunately, there is still the perception that Americans are rich and that the U.S. is the land of milk and honey, so I'm gonna make sure things don't get out of hand. Whether my fiancee's family knows it or not, I will take into consideration all of the help the family has received from me pre-marriage and factor that in to how much I am willing to give. That is the fair thing to do.

A couple of questions:

- Could you clarify when you said the fees are based on "... education and things of that nature"?

- The two mother-in laws... so, the father has multiple wives?

[midge and isi 8]

Thats a very detailed list. My fiance is the one planning our engagement ceramony- i have been asking questions but i still don't know what is really happening! I guess it might be a good thing but at times i have wondered. We aren't doing averything so traditional- so im not sure!

thanks for the information!

[agynyame 2]

agynyame,

Thanks for the info. It will help a lot. Even though they vary (as you and midge.mij mentioned), I will use your list to gauge the list I receive. Unfortunately, there is still the perception that Americans are rich and that the U.S. is the land of milk and honey, so I'm gonna make sure things don't get out of hand. Whether my fiancee's family knows it or not, I will take into consideration all of the help the family has received from me pre-marriage and factor that in to how much I am willing to give. That is the fair thing to do.

A couple of questions:

- Could you clarify when you said the fees are based on "... education and things of that nature"?

- The two mother-in laws... so, the father has multiple wives?

Mr. K,

What I meant was that the more education the lady has, the more the parents tend to ask for more for the dowry. In essence, what they are saying is they have toiled and prepared her and therefore you must be willing to pay.

No my father-in-law does not have multiple wives. He is divorced and has remarried, hence in order not to leave the stepmother out, she was included as well. I agree that you will have to factor into consideration that you have already been helping them out and that they will continue to gain when she gets here. Whatever they present has to be realistic. I hope this helps.

[agynyame 2]

Thats a very detailed list. My fiance is the one planning our engagement ceramony- i have been asking questions but i still don't know what is really happening! I guess it might be a good thing but at times i have wondered. We aren't doing averything so traditional- so im not sure!

thanks for the information!

You are welcome Midge.

How does one insert the ticker counter into the profile?

[midge and isi 8]

Go to http://www.tickerfactory.com/ezticker/ticker_designer.php

and you just make the fun things that you want.

Use the bbcode one when you get to the end- copy and paste into your signature. If you have more questions you can PM me.

[agynyame 2]

Go to http://www.tickerfactory.com/ezticker/ticker_designer.php

and you just make the fun things that you want.

Use the bbcode one when you get to the end- copy and paste into your signature. If you have more questions you can PM me.

Thanks for the tip

[midge and isi 8]

Welcome- look like it works for you!

[effieb 1]

Mr K,

One thing i will also advise you is that, stand your ground and let the family know you are getting married to be one union not to be broke from the onset of your marriage so set a budget for yourself and stick to the budget.

Akota sekan is not to break you

You can always negotiate like AgyNyame stated, negotiate down to your budget.

I am an Akan born and raised Ghana so i know exactly what i am talking about.

You will be fine if you stand your grounds in a respectful and loving way.

[Mr. K 8]

Mr K,

One thing i will also advise you is that, stand your ground and let the family know you are getting married to be one union not to be broke from the onset of your marriage so set a budget for yourself and stick to the budget.

Akota sekan is not to break you

You can always negotiate like AgyNyame stated, negotiate down to your budget.

I am an Akan born and raised Ghana so i know exactly what i am talking about.

You will be fine if you stand your grounds in a respectful and loving way.

Meda ase pa, effieb.

I am now empowered for sure.

[agynyame 2]

Welcome- look like it works for you!

Yes it did.

Thanks a bunch