Irritating BS your SO does

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

You can only make a car out of aluminium

you cant make one out of aluminum

aluminium is a 1st world metal

aluminum is sort of all right for soda if soda is legal in that State and approved by Tommy Jefferson

Land of the soda free and home of the bravas - patatas bravas ! haha !

PS is it against the TOS to be driving VJ while under the affluence of incohol ?

One would think so, but alas, no.

[Captain Oates 911]

One would think so, but alas, no.

Got to catch you first

Blow into this

But officer, I have just thrown that out

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

It is a pretty impressive stash. And I've only seen a fraction of it, I fear!

I have a pic now! I have to move the pics from my iPhone to my computer first though.

Got to catch you first

Blow into this

But officer, I have just thrown that out

Damn, I should know better than to hand you opportunities for bad jokes.

[Captain Oates 911]

Good evening Farmer Giles

The reason we have come to your house is to tell you that we found your daughter in a car and she was having unlawful sexual intercourse with her boyfriend

What ?

I said, she was having unlawful sexual intercourse

What ?

He was fXXXing her !!!

Oh, well, why didn't you say so ?

(An actual conversation North Yorkshire 1974)

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Good evening Farmer Giles

The reason we have come to your house is to tell you that we found your daughter in a car and she was having unlawful sexual intercourse with her boyfriend

What ?

I said, she was having unlawful sexual intercourse

What ?

He was fXXXing her !!!

Oh, well, why didn't you say so ?

(An actual conversation North Yorkshire 1974)

Okay, I did laugh at that one.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Proof I run on a Coke Zero drip feed (please pay no mind to the gigantic thing of cat litter):

Yep, that was the past six months in Coke Zero.

[Captain Oates 911]

Proof I run on a Coke Zero drip feed (please pay no mind to the gigantic thing of cat litter):

Yep, that was the past six months in Coke Zero.

Being in possession of more than 6 such cans (full or empty) in Ca is a fellerny and punishable by 754.3 years in jail in solitary confinement in a concrete box with a toilet kept at -45 centigrade and a visit every night from 27 aggressive lesbians (no appeal, no parole, no phone calls)

What you mean we are barbaric ? It's justice that's what it is.

I pity any country that doesn't have penal conditions like us - they are just envious and they are under the thumb of kings and princes and dicktators and they should shut up and go back to Russia unless they are from Russia in which case they should go to North Korea or wherever those people who don't like us come from - I forget - but wherever ok

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Being in possession of more than 6 such cans (full or empty) in Ca is a fellerny and punishable by 754.3 years in jail in solitary confinement in a concrete box with a toilet kept at -45 centigrade and a visit every night from 27 aggressive lesbians (no appeal, no parole, no phone calls)

I am well and truly screwed then. And I posted proof on the interwebz.

[Captain Oates 911]

ALSO !

Is it true that the size of shower holes is regulated in CA ?

How big are your holes ?

Anyone who could produce so much aluminum with no thought of the energy required to remelt them is likely to have a shower with illegal holes

It's disgraceful what goes on in CA. I can't believe it's only 760 miles away

In order to become a CA shower hole size checker, it's necessary to be a USC

On 1st January when I get my certificate, I will apply for this job and sort you lot out !

Edited July 14, 2010 by saywhat

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Ummm, I think my holes are regulation size; it's been a while since I checked though. Or indeed since anyone checked.

[Captain Oates 911]

Ummm, I think my holes are regulation size; it's been a while since I checked though. Or indeed since anyone checked.

Disgraceful neglect of duty .

CA Govt too bizzy checking illegal tunnels under your house - looking for smuggled Pepsi - when they should be up a ladder in your bathroom measuring your douche holes for non conformity

Every time I have been to Ca its been hissing it down so I don't know why you are short of water. What's wromg with GIN ? Wake up and smell the sealions !

Do you know Susanna Hoffs ? She lives in CA. I would so pass her bathroom as legal in a totally corrupt way ....

She probably doesn't have a bathroom coz she doesn't do that stuff - like the queen doesn't

Walk like an egyptsheanne... Susanna where are you now ? How is your shower Susanna?

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

I thought Susanna pooped like the rest of us; clearly I was wrong.

[Captain Oates 911]

I thought Susanna pooped like the rest of us; clearly I was wrong.

How dare you !

How dare you spit on my delusions ! I mean beliefs !

I am gutted to the gut, bath, bed and beyond

Susanna is a godess and walks like an egyptianne

I must admit that she dropped a few points when she stopped back combing but...

apart from being from Ca and subject to shower head measurement and pepsi bans, she is /was pretty damned perfect for someone with a flat chest

Did you see how tiny she was ? and how good she looked dressed ONLY in a man's shirt ?

Can't beat a small bird in a geezer's shirt

Please go out into the streeet there in CA now and shout susanna susanna - why did you stop back combing ?

When the cop reaches for his Tazer and gets his Glock by mistake - shout 'It's your Glock you dumb ape'---he will appreciate your assistance

Edited July 14, 2010 by saywhat

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

I'm shorter than Susanna by three inches. Maybe I should try this mens' shirt thing you suggest, but I draw the line at backcombing. This IS 2010, after all.

I also have a fairly strong sense of self-preservation and suspect calling a copper an ape would probably mean the Glock, not the Taser.

[Captain Oates 911]

I'm shorter than Susanna by three inches. Maybe I should try this mens' shirt thing you suggest, but I draw the line at backcombing. This IS 2010, after all.

I also have a fairly strong sense of self-preservation and suspect calling a copper an ape would probably mean the Glock, not the Taser.

Mein gott I have found you at last !

In your room is the ultimate:

http://il.youtube.com/watch?v=gBwULfRdKZA&feature=related