Irritating BS your SO does

[Captain Oates 911]

I don't need to hear about you licking hog boners, thank you very much.

talking about hog boeners

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Art/POLITICS/061117/pol_061117_joehner_2x2_2p.hmedium.jpg

[ValerieA 350]

Yeah, I think the harem needs to be larger. I mean, more women, not that we should eat too much bacon and...never mind. I would be honoured to join the harem and kill a few pigs. I think I will name them after certain VJ members.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Yeah, I think the harem needs to be larger. I mean, more women, not that we should eat too much bacon and...never mind. I would be honoured to join the harem and kill a few pigs. I think I will name them after certain VJ members.

Yay! More ladies is good for all parties. Our bacon is low-cal but full-flavour so we will always stay pert and trim.

If you need suggestions for pig names, I have a few.

[Captain Oates 911]

Yeah, I think the harem needs to be larger. I mean, more women, not that we should eat too much bacon and...never mind. I would be honoured to join the harem and kill a few pigs. I think I will name them after certain VJ members.

At the moment we have mondaywednesday and tuesdaythursday pencilled in. Friday to Sunday is catch up on emails and mow the lawn.

However, I have a slot on Sunday at 7pm pacific while 60 minutes is on telly if that's any good ?

That old guy they have on at the end that looks like clint's saddle bag after being hung in the garage through a damp winter, insulted all aliens really badly last night so he is excombuberated from my church now

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Well, as your Number One Internet Girlfriend, I think it's my place to say it's selfish of you to take three whole days for emails and mowing. Can't you give Val at least all of Sunday? Pretty please?

*bats eyelashes, proffers bacon sarnie*

[ValerieA 350]

I like mowing. What if I do the mowing on Thursdays, then you can spend Sunday with me?

I would also offer to tend to your emails for you, but I think you know that would be a very bad idea.

Hang on, better idea! Let's get some lambs for Sunday lamb chop suppers, and they can keep the grass trimmed!

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

I like mowing. What if I do the mowing on Thursdays, then you can spend Sunday with me?

I would also offer to tend to your emails for you, but I think you know that would be a very bad idea.

Hang on, better idea! Let's get some lambs for Sunday lamb chop suppers, and they can keep the grass trimmed!

I like your resourcefulness, Val! You will be a welcome addition to the harem. I'm pretty useless at mowing. I'm purely decorative on Tuesdays as well.

[ValerieA 350]

I'm decorative (kinda, if you like seeing a woman holding down the couch) on Mondays. Fridays I am hell on wheels.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Cool, that works with my schedule since I'm Tuesdaythursday. Friday we can spend drinking gin and tending to our other feminine needs.

[Captain Oates 911]

Cool, that works with my schedule since I'm Tuesdaythursday. Friday we can spend drinking gin and tending to our other feminine needs.

But it's ALL DAY AND NIGHT tuesday / thursday... you will need 5 days to recover your composture and steam iron your eyelashes and tie new knots in your elastic

I am not one of those yankee egg timer chaps you know

heck no - I am a Yorkiedoodledandy ! I'm bloody great me ! Great !

ps you are up a point for the BP post ! positive !

http://www.fwi.co.uk/blogs/agribusiness/Harry-Enfield-Loadsamoney.jpg

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

But it's ALL DAY AND NIGHT tuesday / thursday... you will need 5 days to recover your composture and steam iron your eyelashes and tie new knots in your elastic

I am not one of those yankee egg timer chaps you know

heck no - I am a Yorkiedoodledandy ! I'm bloody great me ! Great !

ps you are up a point for the BP post ! positive !

http://www.fwi.co.uk...Loadsamoney.jpg

Sorry Alan. I forgot about the endurance of the Yorkshireman. I'll still get my Friday for drinking gin with Val though, right?

Glad to know I now have a point to spend knocking you down somewhere else.

[Captain Oates 911]

Sorry Alan. I forgot about the endurance of the Yorkshireman. I'll still get my Friday for drinking gin with Val though, right?

Glad to know I now have a point to spend knocking you down somewhere else.

yes you are one 'slap down' in credit ! spend it wisely

ok off to the bank - then mow the lawns - and then make a telescopic bird feeder with anti sparrow hawk device and squirrel marmalizer and coyote clouter

Edited June 21, 2010 by saywhat

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

yes you are one 'slap down' in credit ! spend it wisely

ok off to the bank - then mow the lawns - and then make a telescopic bird feeder with anti sparrow hawk device and squirrel marmalizer and coyote clouter

Wow, can you post pics when you get back?

[Captain Oates 911]

Wow, can you post pics when you get back?

I adhere strictly to the Bauhaus principle of 'form follows function'

This means that my many devices are not photogenic but work nonetheless

My patent cat bog consists of a tunnel through the utility room wall to a large enclosure in the garage, This enclosure contains two cat bogs with an opening wire netted top hatch for access

Both ends of the cat tunnel are provided with standard cat doors

Because my olfactory lobes are of the sophisticated English design rather than.... it is necessary to have a scent wall between me and my pork chops and the aftermath of a small mammal eating 2 lbs of cat food.

This design was devized, constructed and installed in 110f heat in july 2008 and works perfectly with no trapped moggies and no honking on my part

What the nose doesn't sniff the stomach doesn't hurl over

It's my pride and joy and I have staff to empty the said cat bogs

No animals were permanently disfigured during the making of this tunnel

Edited June 21, 2010 by saywhat

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

What the nose doesn't sniff the stomach doesn't hurl over

It's my pride and joy and I have staff to empty the said cat bogs

Note to self: Alan has sensitive nose; no bacon then in the house.

Another note to self: Alan has staff! Definitely moving into harem as Miss Tuesdaythursdayneedfivedaysoff.