Irritating BS your SO does

[Gemmie 142]

My UKC husband taught me how to drive -- I'd had a learners' licence over in the UK but I was so cr@p at driving stick that we all thought it would be for the best if I just restricted my driving to the occasional attempt. In a large car park. At night. Late at night. Once we got over here, I realised I had to drive to live. He's been driving for over 20 years, and I have now had my licence for two. (Woo!) The first year or so he could hardly get in a car with me without begging to install a second set of brakes in the car. He too is 100% correct all the time and can't understand how I can get it so wrong. However, the other week we had to travel back to the house in two separate cars. He was behind me on the freeway so he could see everything I was doing. About halfway home he called me and said, "I'm watching you. You certainly don't hang about! You're really quite a decent driver now."

You brave woman - I don't know I'd feel about him watching me from behind... in the car, that is!

The other week I drove over an ISLAND and I thought he was going to poop out his heart.

And yeah Julian, I've noticed that most of the drivers out there don't seem to realise they have indicators.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

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Edited May 6, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

The other week I drove over an ISLAND and I thought he was going to poop out his heart.

Been there, done that. We should compare T-shirts.

[Gemmie 142]

[Jewel-8 21]

USC husband taught me to drive, but there are still moments when I make a mistake (like last night I accidentally used my right blinker when I meant left) and he yelled "WRONG BLINKER!!" and scared the ####### out of me. He does everything 100% the correct way, and in his 10 years of driving has never had any accident or made any big mistakes. Which sometimes means he makes a huge deal out of small mistakes that I make when learning.

But I'm also guilty of the rolling stop signs.

It's not just us that yell at each other while we're driving then! I always feel bad when I do say something while he's driving. When he first moved here I though I should give more instructions since he's new to the area, but now I just feel like I'm nagging. A bit more to work on there, but I know I'm not the only person that needs to keep the critizism in check.

One of his pet peeves is that most the cars sold in the US are automatics. Our SUV and our beat-to-*@#% car are both automatics because I've had surgeries on my left ankle. Before he moved here I told him he could get any car he wanted once we had the money. Now he wants a sporty rear wheel drive car. I'm hoping after another winter in Salt Lake City he will change his mind and go for a family car.

[Jewel-8 21]

******* since it was already brought up: is it just my SO, or do all Americans not realize their vehicle comes standard equipped with turn indicators?

I'm the USC and I use my turn signal even when noone is around. It's the Scottish husband that has the habit of not using them. I thought it was a British thing!!! Kind of funny to me that I'm getting contradicting reports from Gemmie and Julian!!

[JulianMelissa 52]

Then I did have a British husband to beat it into me. Suggest you do the same.

Yes, subtlety doesn't seem to work well with her.

[Rito 28]

Yes, subtlety doesn't seem to work well with her.

I really didn't want to add fuel to the fire, but please hold aside what your fiance did regarding the car purchase for a second and consider that you're complaining about her in a public forum to strangers. I see a relationship - especially a marriage relationship - as a kind of sanctuary. In the sanctuary there is respect and love and safety. We all do stupid things, but our stable relationship is where we can be ourselves without fear of betrayal and condemnation. Broadcasting to the world your complaints with your spouse - and especially character judgments like the above - I feel is very wrong to her. Before you post anything else, please consider what it feels like to be in her shoes. Consider that you are the one person who will be sworn to love, protect, and cherish her, and that airing what you consider to be character flaws is an act of betrayal. If my fiance did this to me, I would be crushed beyond belief. But he never would, and he trusts me not to either.

[Jewel-8 21]

Yes, subtlety doesn't seem to work well with her.

There's a lot of instances where I've had communication problems. I know that even couples that grew up in the same neighborhood have difficulties. I've learned that even being direct doesn't work all the time. Sometimes things need to be interpreted, repeated back, and then clarified some more. With the US-UK differences there's even more room for error!!

I told my husband the awhile ago that he should look into 'getting on' at the university here. He was insulted!!!! It turns out he thought I meant he needed to go back to school for an advance degree since he has a Bachelor's. I actually meant he should look into the job openings. I love all the little differences, without them life wouldn't be as interesting.

[*julez* 124]

I really didn't want to add fuel to the fire, but please hold aside what your fiance did regarding the car purchase for a second and consider that you're complaining about her in a public forum to strangers. I see a relationship - especially a marriage relationship - as a kind of sanctuary. In the sanctuary there is respect and love and safety. We all do stupid things, but our stable relationship is where we can be ourselves without fear of betrayal and condemnation. Broadcasting to the world your complaints with your spouse - and especially character judgments like the above - I feel is very wrong to her. Before you post anything else, please consider what it feels like to be in her shoes. Consider that you are the one person who will be sworn to love, protect, and cherish her, and that airing what you consider to be character flaws is an act of betrayal. If my fiance did this to me, I would be crushed beyond belief. But he never would, and he trusts me not to either.

Beautifully stated, Rito.

[treehugger 23]

As someone who posted one of the more serious complaints, I already regret this and would love to know how I can delete it.

It's no excuse, but I was having the roughest day yesterday for a very long time (I've been in Administrative Processing for over ten weeks for unknown reasons, if that's a clue), and in a fit of bad temper wrote something I shouldn't. Neither my husband nor I are perfect, but we're both trying our best, and I know he goes to great lengths to make me happy.

So, if anyone can help me delete/edit my post I'd be grateful because I can't find a way to do so - thanks.

[JulianMelissa 52]

I really didn't want to add fuel to the fire, but please hold aside what your fiance did regarding the car purchase for a second and consider that you're complaining about her in a public forum to strangers. I see a relationship - especially a marriage relationship - as a kind of sanctuary. In the sanctuary there is respect and love and safety. We all do stupid things, but our stable relationship is where we can be ourselves without fear of betrayal and condemnation. Broadcasting to the world your complaints with your spouse - and especially character judgments like the above - I feel is very wrong to her. Before you post anything else, please consider what it feels like to be in her shoes. Consider that you are the one person who will be sworn to love, protect, and cherish her, and that airing what you consider to be character flaws is an act of betrayal. If my fiance did this to me, I would be crushed beyond belief. But he never would, and he trusts me not to either.

I must be going mad, because I haven't said or done anything that anyone else hasn't said. What about the woman complaining about her husband's 'saliva pools?' Oh how dare she violate their sanctity of marriage by belittling him in a public forum! Or how elmcitymaven compared her husband to Stalin, how insensitive! Bollox. We're all here just blowing off a bit of steam, some of us passing the time awaiting election results, that's all. You people who are complaining really need to quit reading so much into it.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

As someone who posted one of the more serious complaints, I already regret this and would love to know how I can delete it.

It's no excuse, but I was having the roughest day yesterday for a very long time (I've been in Administrative Processing for over ten weeks for unknown reasons, if that's a clue), and in a fit of bad temper wrote something I shouldn't. Neither my husband nor I are perfect, but we're both trying our best, and I know he goes to great lengths to make me happy.

So, if anyone can help me delete/edit my post I'd be grateful because I can't find a way to do so - thanks.

If you would like it deleted, go to the post and there is a "report" button. then just type in the comment box that it's yours and that you would like it deleted.

[treehugger 23]

If you would like it deleted, go to the post and there is a "report" button. then just type in the comment box that it's yours and that you would like it deleted.

Thanks, Vanessa It seems you can only edit your post for a certain period of time after posting it, I'll bear that in mind in future!

[Jewel-8 21]

As someone who posted one of the more serious complaints, I already regret this and would love to know how I can delete it.

It's no excuse, but I was having the roughest day yesterday for a very long time (I've been in Administrative Processing for over ten weeks for unknown reasons, if that's a clue), and in a fit of bad temper wrote something I shouldn't. Neither my husband nor I are perfect, but we're both trying our best, and I know he goes to great lengths to make me happy.

So, if anyone can help me delete/edit my post I'd be grateful because I can't find a way to do so - thanks.

I have been following the London waiver thread for months due to my growing interest in immigration law. The people on it seem to be the sweetest ever. Your post did not seem hateful to me. I hope the issue you posted about is easier for you when you are here. If you want to drop a line to vent privately I am always free!