Irritating BS your SO does

[twowls 217]

You do remember what we do to husbands who don't do this, right? We take them outside and shoot them in the face. (See back about eleventy bajillion pages in this thread for the reference.)

Will return without wisecrack and with semi-serious analysis after hugeass fryup I am about to make.

Oh yum. I guess I still reserve the right to dissolve into nonsensical gurgle sounds about fry ups. Want. Just walked around Sunset dipping into tattoo parlors. They are a respectful but non-indulgent bunch. Like VJ on a good day. A sort of smug but gentle complacency, something that evolves when you've chosen a life at the margins and have had to come to terms with your space in a world you won't ever blend in with again. I like seahorses. Do you know the boy carries the babies? True story.

Obligatory OnTopic: R complains about his hair everyday but won't cut it.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Oh yum. I guess I still reserve the right to dissolve into nonsensical gurgle sounds about fry ups. Want. Just walked around Sunset dipping into tattoo parlors. They are a respectful but non-indulgent bunch. Like VJ on a good day. A sort of smug but gentle complacency, something that evolves when you've chosen a life at the margins and have had to come to terms with your space in a world you won't ever blend in with again. I like seahorses. Do you know the boy carries the babies? True story.

Obligatory OnTopic: R complains about his hair everyday but won't cut it.

Well, at least you don't have to dye it for him, like some people I know.

The fry up was insane. Bacon fried first, then eggs and mushrooms fried in bacon fat. Heinz beans (99 cent store had tons of the real dealio and I got 20 tins) done separately. About to tuck into fresh raspberries and blackberries with tinned Ambrosia custard. So much goodness I may explode with the lovely.

The former master of my husband's lodge is one of the big tattoo dudes in LA -- wonder if you wandered into his place. Oh sigh, darlin'. We have much more to talk about next time, which relates to your comment about smug and gentle complacency. It helps if we've had a lot to drink and have internet access too.

[Captain Oates 911]

You do remember what we do to husbands who don't do this, right? We take them outside and shoot them in the face. (See back about eleventy bajillion pages in this thread for the reference.)

Will return without wisecrack and with semi-serious analysis after hugeass fryup I am about to make.

holy ripping jeans seams

hugeass fryups - jeez

Edited June 21, 2010 by saywhat

[Captain Oates 911]

The former master of my husband's lodge is one of the big tattoo dudes in LA -- wonder if you wandered into his place. Oh sigh, darlin'. We have much more to talk about next time, which relates to your comment about smug and gentle complacency. It helps if we've had a lot to drink and have internet access too.

Your husband has a lodge ? Is he a beaver ? We have problems with them in our park.

Surely he isn't a left handed bricklayer like prince philip ? Last refuge of the meritoriously disadvantaged in my opinion

When I was a youth and in the Police Force, I passed my Sergeant's exam and then my Inspector's exam (criminal law etc) which is high as they go (and came 4th in the UK I will have you know). A certain hossifer who worked with me, tried every year for several years to pass but couldn't. He joined the lodge and his records were mysteriously amended to show that he had passed - he was then promoted.

I have many more stories of beaver house inhabitants who have nefariously become successful in material ways at least. Crime does pay if you do it right.

I crossed swords with some grand imperial wizard or whatever they call em and decided to ship out and try another career. Glad I did.

The US is a meritocracy I am told, so I would be surprised if that sort of thing happens here. Perhaps the chief engineer who designed the blow out valve was one.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

holy ripping jeans seams

hugeass fryups - jeez

Morning Alan. It was a hugeass fryup and it was stupendous. Make sure the palazzo/harem has an adequately stocked kitchen so I can prepare such delights for you and the owl.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Your husband has a lodge ? Is he a beaver ? We have problems with them in our park.

Surely he isn't a left handed bricklayer like prince philip ? Last refuge of the meritoriously disadvantaged in my opinion

When I was a youth and in the Police Force, I passed my Sergeant's exam and then my Inspector's exam (criminal law etc) which is high as they go (and came 4th in the UK I will have you know). A certain hossifer who worked with me, tried every year for several years to pass but couldn't. He joined the lodge and his records were mysteriously amended to show that he had passed - he was then promoted.

I have many more stories of beaver house inhabitants who have nefariously become successful in material ways at least. Crime does pay if you do it right.

I crossed swords with some grand imperial wizard or whatever they call em and decided to ship out and try another career. Glad I did.

The US is a meritocracy I am told, so I would be surprised if that sort of thing happens here. Perhaps the chief engineer who designed the blow out valve was one.

Well, I'm actually from a Masonic family; my brother is a Mason, and my dad is currently the Master of his lodge. Yup! Scary, huh? Little did you know that I'm linked to the New World Order. We're working hard to undermine America. If the whole Masonic thing is supposed to work though, why hasn't my husband had a decent job since he got out here?

[Captain Oates 911]

Morning Alan. It was a hugeass fryup and it was stupendous. Make sure the palazzo/harem has an adequately stocked kitchen so I can prepare such delights for you and the owl.

Morning she of the glutinously well provisioned !

I love fried mushrooms

Do we take turns (at cooking) ? How come the owl gets a free pass ?

I wonder why harems have marble floors ? - what with all them birds there to do the vac work and all...

I know those guys have carpets available - ali baba etc Praps they just use them to go to work on.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Vasnetsov_samolet.jpg

.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Morning she of the glutinously well provisioned !

I love fried mushrooms

Do we take turns (at cooking) ? How come the owl gets a free pass ?

I wonder why harems have marble floors ? - what with all them birds there to do the vac work and all...

I know those guys have carpets available - ali baba etc Praps they just use them to go to work on.

http://en.wikipedia....sov_samolet.jpg

.

I love fried mushrooms too; these were baby portobella mushrooms (it IS California after all) and were fried in all that lardy bacon fat, but not overcooked so there was still a bit of bite. The eggs were all perfectly runny (the way I like them and, uh, he likes them too but of course I can make them more or less so); the bacon was unfortunately American-style but still had a nice smokiness to it. The beans... well Heinz meanz beanz, right?

I'm happy to be the cook if it means I don't have to clean. I am a bird who hates vac work and housework.

[Captain Oates 911]

I'm happy to be the cook if it means I don't have to clean. I am a bird who hates vac work and housework.

Had one of them - ginger jobby as I recall - I was only with her 14 years so the memory of it is dim. She used to throw the kids shoes in a closet under the stairs. After a year, it was so deep in soil, I took a shovel and bucket into the house and shovelled it clean. She stood and watched. I was working full time and studying professional exams til 2am and she was the housewife full time - peg bundy style

I got used to it at that time so I don't mind a bit of 'mucking out'

Anyway, as my mother used to say 'There are more passers-by than callers-in' so keeping the front door polished is the main thing.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Had one of them - ginger jobby as I recall - I was only with her 14 years so the memory of it is dim. She used to throw the kids shoes in a closet under the stairs. After a year, it was so deep in soil, I took a shovel and bucket into the house and shovelled it clean. She stood and watched. I was working full time and studying professional exams til 2am and she was the housewife full time - peg bundy style

I got used to it at that time so I don't mind a bit of 'mucking out'

Anyway, as my mother used to say 'There are more passers-by than callers-in' so keeping the front door polished is the main thing.

Oi! I am not as bad as that. I mean I don't care for it, not that I don't do it. I get the hoover out as necessary, do the washing up every day, change the sheets, do the laundry, etc but I don't do it with the lilting melody in my heart that I have when I'm cooking.

[Captain Oates 911]

Oi! I am not as bad as that. I mean I don't care for it, not that I don't do it. I get the hoover out as necessary, do the washing up every day, change the sheets, do the laundry, etc but I don't do it with the lilting melody in my heart that I have when I'm cooking.

Change the sheets before they make cracking noises ? That's a waste of electricity.

When I were a lad we didn't have sheets......we used to jump up and down til we were all sweaty and then roll in bacon grease and newspapers that we had taken out of next door's trash can - then sleep on the floor like that - and that's if we were lucky that day and the bin man hadn't been..

It's environmentally hostile to use the washer all the time. When I get up, my socks are at the side of the bed and stood to attention waiting for me.

Anyway, my mother used to say that only dirty people take baths - it's true isn't it ?

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

When I were a lad

Good god, is every story from a Yorkshireman required by law to start this way?

[Captain Oates 911]

Good god, is every story from a Yorkshireman required by law to start this way?

Only when they are old (17+)

This constant search for novelty is bound to end in tears.

Recycling happy philosophical thoughts (constantly and ad nauseam) is a formula for never ending happiness.

Go to any old folks home and they are sat there chuckling and smiling and repeating themselves to the stage where the suicide rate amongst the staff is higher than postal workers

This tells me that repetition of stories and sayings is a fine weapon when used to effect, and has killed more people than exploding oil rigs when you think about it.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Only when they are old (17+)

This constant search for novelty is bound to end in tears.

Recycling happy philosophical thoughts (constantly and ad nauseam) is a formula for never ending happiness.

Go to any old folks home and they are sat there chuckling and smiling and repeating themselves to the stage where the suicide rate amongst the staff is higher than postal workers

This tells me that repetition of stories and sayings is a fine weapon when used to effect, and has killed more people than exploding oil rigs when you think about it.

Quite true. This is why I avoid family gatherings of any size, since they always feature the same stories I have heard since I was in pigtails. None of them get any more interesting or nuanced with age. I s'pose I am still of an age where I am not yet recycling but producing stories, usually ones that can't be told in mixed company.

[Captain Oates 911]

Quite true. This is why I avoid family gatherings of any size, since they always feature the same stories I have heard since I was in pigtails. None of them get any more interesting or nuanced with age. I s'pose I am still of an age where I am not yet recycling but producing stories, usually ones that can't be told in mixed company.

What you need is the 'saywhat mind wipe'

For only $1,000 I can wipe your data banks so that you can go to family do's for the next 10 years and all the stories will be fresh and crisp

Side effects include:

You won't be able to find your way home to the harem