Irritating BS your SO does

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Alan, I think you need to share with us the chat-up lines that resulted in these responses

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Good one Robin, as always.

We are in the hotel room, eating cups of cake, and making fun of all of you. Yes you. Some of you more than others. Especially if there's photographic evidence or a link to your blog. You know who you are!!!!!!!!!

[Captain Oates 911]

Alan, I think you need to share with us the chat-up lines that resulted in these responses

I was slumming as you can imagine as I am too sophisticated for my shirt usually..

The foff granddad one was elicited by "hello"

The 'Get me a drink or I will glass you' was a response to "good evening"

I have had a great one shot at me (at 2.45am) "ok they will be closing soon - what have you got in the fridge"

One I have heard used but never used myself is "Get your jacket on, you've been pulled"

I was a total coward at the game and used the diagonal approach that leopards use on antelopes to get nearer while appearing to cross. Then I would chat the notsopretty one who was standing next to the intended target. It's not nice but I didn't invent it and it's evolution in action. That's how the pretty ones got pretty in the first place. Darwin figured it.

The best one that I used was actually totally sincere. I said "Are you Steve's sister" - I really thought she was. She looked at me and said "What's in it for me if I am". I took it from there but jeez she was a top banana loony as it turned out. I couldn't tell that story.

I think she turned me to GIN

[Welshcookie 17]

Good one Robin, as always.

We are in the hotel room, eating cups of cake, and making fun of all of you. Yes you. Some of you more than others. Especially if there's photographic evidence or a link to your blog. You know who you are!!!!!!!!!

DANGIT MAVEN!! Those photos were for your eyes only!

[TBoneTX 45,319]

(Interloping, si man)

General: Mrs. T-B. invariably implores "put me in bed" exactly when the local weather is being broadcast. When I try to explain the importance of knowing the weather forecast, she says, matter-of-factly, "In Ecuador, we open the door in the morning and look outside to see if it's raining, and that's the Ecuador Weather Channel."

Tonight: The same Mrs. T-B., who is pregnant, came in and asked to read an article here on VJ. After 18 seconds, she said, "I'm hungry -- I want more ice cream," and promptly proceeded to cook some eggs. Please shoot me now, si man.

Edited June 6, 2010 by TBoneTX

[ValerieA 350]

Tonight: The same Mrs. T-B., who is pregnant, came in and asked to read an article here on VJ. After 18 seconds, she said, "I'm hungry -- I want more ice cream," and promptly proceeded to cook some eggs. Please shoot me now, si man.

Oh, TBone, it is only going to get worse. Buy stock in Ben & Jerry's (it WILL be ice cream at some point) and Frito Lay (BIG TIME). Trust me on this.

[TBoneTX 45,319]

It WAS ice cream (chocolate, thankfully) earlier today, but fortunately I began eating it first, si man. I also had to buy her two mangos ("very green and very hard!"), which she ate with heavy salt, in tandem with the ice cream. Before all that, she successfully lobbied me to take her to Casa Ole, where she ate 99.44% of the tortilla chips with the green sauce (thankfully, I got the red sauce). She's only 7 weeks along, sigh man...

Edited to add: She insists on the pending descendant's being called "Baby," and not "Cletus the Fetus." No sense of humo(u)r, no man.

Edited June 6, 2010 by TBoneTX

[ValerieA 350]

You counted the chips?

OK, so we are trying to get pregnant also, will you be my delivery boy? Just pick up what you wife craves, X2.

Cletus the Fetus

I called the previous one (miscarriage in the end) the Parasite. Some people are not amused by that.

Edited June 6, 2010 by ValerieA

[TBoneTX 45,319]

You counted the chips?

Si man, and I always cut the cards.

OK, so we are trying to get pregnant also, will you be my delivery boy?

"I don't know nuthin' about birthin' babies, no man."

I called the previous one (miscarriage in the end) the Parasite. Some people are not amused by that.

The name is a miscarriage if the Parasite was not conceived in the capital of France, si man; perhaps he was a Liverpudlian, for example. Serious tangent: My next-door neighbo(u)r, who came from El Salvador as a child, says that some Salvadorenos refer to children as "bichos" (insects). This proves that there are three sexes: male sex, female sex, and insex, si man.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Dude we're drunk. We've talked about you all and now we're going to sleep naked next to each other and we won't care.

PS: CUP O CAKE

PPS: Julez and I totally had to turn down 19 year olds gagging for it but we are responsible trollops and even though illegal substances were proferred we said NO. Because we are saving ourselves for dominant Anglophone VJ real men. You know who you are; we are waiting.

[ValerieA 350]

Si man, and I always cut the cards."I don't know nuthin' about birthin' babies, no man."The name is a miscarriage if the Parasite was not conceived in the capital of France, si man; perhaps he was a Liverpudlian, for example. Serious tangent: My next-door neighbo(u)r, who came from El Salvador as a child, says that some Salvadorenos refer to children as "bichos" (insects). This proves that there are three sexes: male sex, female sex, and insex, si man.

Oh, BOO. Si, man.

And isn't it "birthin' no babies" ?

Dude we're drunk. We've talked about you all and now we're going to sleep naked next to each other and we won't care.

PS: CUP O CAKE

PPS: Julez and I totally had to turn down 19 year olds gagging for it but we are responsible trollops and even though illegal substances were proferred we said NO. Because we are saving ourselves for dominant Anglophone VJ real men. You know who you are; we are waiting.

Sigh.

[TBoneTX 45,319]

Oh, BOO. Si, man.

Boo man, si man.

And isn't it "birthin' no babies" ?

I don't no, man.

Mrs. T.-B. lobbied me to put her in bed and then said "I want cherries." I tried to reason with her that the supermarkets closed at 1 a.m., and she said "OK -- when they open tomorrow." She also wants the eventual googy, if it is a girl, to have curly hair and continuously ask, semirhetorically, "Why am I so pretty, si man?"

Regarding M.'s Anglophone, I talked on one today, and Mrs. T-B. talked on a Spanophone, yes hombre. Regarding responsible trollops, is anyone a blonde?

Going to bed soonly, zzz man.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Frak, I'm sorry. Krikit was there too. She was even MORE responsible, though she was trying to sell me on her brother.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Edited to add: She insists on the pending descendant's being called "Baby," and not "Cletus the Fetus." No sense of humo(u)r, no man.

I think I would prefer to call it Thor. And Mrs. T-Bone is with T-Bone Jr? Congrats!

Oh, BOO. Si, man.

And isn't it "birthin' no babies" ?

I don't know nuthin' about birthin' no babies!

Dude we're drunk. We've talked about you all and now we're going to sleep naked next to each other and we won't care.

PS: CUP O CAKE

PPS: Julez and I totally had to turn down 19 year olds gagging for it but we are responsible trollops and even though illegal substances were proferred we said NO. Because we are saving ourselves for dominant Anglophone VJ real men. You know who you are; we are waiting.

Once you've gone British you will never go back. Everyone else is just so jealous of our relationships with Anglo-Saxon stud muffins.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Once you've gone British you will never go back. Everyone else is just so jealous of our relationships with Anglo-Saxon stud muffins.

It's the bacon. British bacon does it every time.