Irritating BS your SO does

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

On my way into work this morning, I saw far too many mail people.

That's sad. My condolences. I saw no mail people yesterday, for it was Memorial Day.

Ah, but Miz Maven would definitely be grabbing hold of seeing someone with more class than Liz Hurley! Plus, someone who can handle their gin MUCH better.

And how would YOU know who I would be seeing, Miz Val?

No, really, what does he look like? Does he have all his own teeth and hair?

Edited June 1, 2010 by elmcitymaven

[Captain Oates 911]

Ah, but Miz Maven would definitely be grabbing hold of seeing someone with more class than Liz Hurley! Plus, someone who can handle their gin MUCH better.

Sorry for butting in on a UK thread, but I find this one hilarious.

It's a very well balanced UK thread coz its people who have a good experience of the UK and US and can see the pluses and minuses of both. Not sure if I could see the pluses of North Korea but there must be some - cheap dachshund sandwiches ?

I suppose comparing relationships are a bit like comparing countries. The acceptable and the unacceptable and the learning to live with the unacceptable by stuffing the unacceptable full of golf balls and old tyres and cement until it stops becoming too much of an issue.

Unfortunately all the old 'anti the other sex' adages have a basis in fact, as have so many aspects of life which are buried under a top kill of PC and cannot be expressed in polite company. My ex father in law used to refer to a wall being built down the middle of town with all the women put on one side and all the men on the other - he thought he knew who would be first to be scaling the wall. As far as hair tearing out company is concerned, I once spent a weekend travelling to and from the US with a business colleague and I was ready to shallow grave him after three days ! Had some annoying birds in my time but he was in a league of his own. I mean I am very punctual and organised but compulsive disorder is worse than having a companion with flesh eating Ebola virus and 200 decibel screaming tourettes syndrome. I tried swallowing my tongue to end it all, but it went on and on for 3 days.

The BP references are coz I am down a bundle on BP shares right now - another 11% this morning

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Oh, and Alan, awesome post back there about you and Liz Hurley. You certainly deserve better than Steve Bing's cast-offs.

You're still my No 1 internet boyfriend!

[Captain Oates 911]

Oh, and Alan, awesome post back there about you and Liz Hurley. You certainly deserve better than Steve Bing's cast-offs.

You're still my No 1 internet boyfriend!

Never ever think it's not appreciated ! Having my ego stroked (hughfermism) is very relaxing and can be done bi-directionally without me biting - unlike the cat

[The_Dude 1,142]

compulsive disorder is worse than having a companion with flesh eating Ebola virus and 200 decibel screaming tourettes syndrome. I tried swallowing my tongue to end it all, but it went on and on for 3 days.

[ValerieA 350]

On my way into work this morning, I saw far too many mail people.

Did they have guns?

No, really, what does he look like? Does he have all his own teeth and hair?

Is that important? Fine. Back to the drawing board.

[ValerieA 350]

I mean I am very punctual and organised but compulsive disorder is worse than having a companion with flesh eating Ebola virus and 200 decibel screaming tourettes syndrome. I tried swallowing my tongue to end it all, but it went on and on for 3 days.

The BP references are coz I am down a bundle on BP shares right now - another 11% this morning

I think I know him...

And sorry about the BP. I have a bad feeling it's going to get worse before it gets better. Hurricane season is upon us, although really it is early and we shouldn't have to worry about them for another couple of months.

Hubby takes all of the pillows if he goes to bed first. Git.

[Captain Oates 911]

Hubby takes all of the pillows if he goes to bed first. Git. http://www.visajourney.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/mad.gif[/img]

The sneezeazy brand does highly allergenic pillows which should put an end to that little game.

Or tell him Monica Lewinsky is telling the REAL STORY and what she really did to him and what he really did to her at 11pm on CNN - that way you get to bed first

Course you need to change the names every day but it should work for a few months til he twigs

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Hubby takes all of the pillows if he goes to bed first. Git.

Remember what we do with husbands: we take them outside and shoot them in the face. I made that very clear to Julian about 20 pages back.

And yes, hair and teeth non-negotiable. Remember I have British Man Fetish, so that must be taken into account. I've already had two such husbands, and I'm working to complete the entire set. Like Pokemon -- gotta catch em all.

[ValerieA 350]

Remember what we do with husbands: we take them outside and shoot them in the face. I made that very clear to Julian about 20 pages back.

And yes, hair and teeth non-negotiable. Remember I have British Man Fetish, so that must be taken into account. I've already had two such husbands, and I'm working to complete the entire set. Like Pokemon -- gotta catch em all.

Oh God don't start up with Pokemon. That's all my stepson can talk about. I want to shoot all Pokemon in the face.

On the potential future man...does he have to be single?

Edited June 1, 2010 by ValerieA

[Captain Oates 911]

Remember what we do with husbands: we take them outside and shoot them in the face. I made that very clear to Julian about 20 pages back.

And yes, hair and teeth non-negotiable. Remember I have British Man Fetish, so that must be taken into account. I've already had two such husbands, and I'm working to complete the entire set. Like Pokemon -- gotta catch em all.

How do you get 500 people on a train in Tokyo ? -- pokemon !

[Captain Oates 911]

Remember what we do with husbands: we take them outside and shoot them in the face. I made that very clear to Julian about 20 pages back.

And yes, hair and teeth non-negotiable. Remember I have British Man Fetish, so that must be taken into account. I've already had two such husbands, and I'm working to complete the entire set. Like Pokemon -- gotta catch em all.

I have had eight wives - only 3 of em were mine though

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

On the potential future man...does he have to be single?

Preferred, to the point of non-negotiability. Separated is fine -- I'm dreading explaining to any man in my near future my own set up myself, what with my husband's stuff all over the place here, and the fact that his office is in my house, and that I'm not getting divorced any time soon due to our advantageous tax situation.

How do you get 500 people on a train in Tokyo ? -- pokemon !

Alan, I may have to demote you to Internet Boyfriend No 2 on the basis of that horrible joke.

[Captain Oates 911]

Alan, I may have to demote you to Internet Boyfriend No 2 on the basis of that horrible joke.

oops forgot to say I specialise in infantile, peurile word jokes .... but I have my own teeth

nothing succeeds like a budgie !!!!

Have at you !

You will never rope and brand one unless you learn to pretend that he is flawless - and that includes being able to take this sort of gob drivel without showing your canines and scratching the glass table top

Being able to instantly conjure up a mind photo of a 1 pound block of Cadbury's Turkish delight is a necessary skill when the temptation to face shoot flickers across your consciousness

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

oops forgot to say I specialise in infantile, peurile word jokes .... but I have my own teeth

nothing succeeds like a budgie !!!!

Have at you !

You will never rope and brand one unless you learn to pretend that he is flawless - and that includes being able to take this sort of gob drivel without showing your canines and scratching the glass table top

Being able to instantly conjure up a mind photo of a 1 pound block of Cadbury's Turkish delight is a necessary skill when the temptation to face shoot flickers across your consciousness

I'm taking notes, Alan. Though mine would be a giant Mint Aero bar.

Actually, pretending he was flawless was what got me here in the first place.