If I beat my brother in law until he's a decent person, will it effect my application?

[KittyPollitt 284]

I'm trying so hard to be nice to him, he's made it impossible and now has declared a cold war on me. So since my fiance pays for the internet, we took the internet into our room, so he can't use it to fish for European girls anymore.. That really got his panties in a bunch, and now things are ugly.. I'm just curious if anyone else has had to deal with something like this and how they dealt with it.. Don't need to hear gory details about the problems, just solutions, or compromises.. It's really bad, we have to hide our stuff from him for fear he will take it or destroy it.. I really wanna kick is @ss, but I have to live here for 5 more months..

[Laveau 67]

I have no advice but I hope the next five months goes superfast for you. Sucks that you can't relax and enjoy your time there, though.

[TheBears 9]

Is there someone else who lives with you who is respected by you, your husband, and your brother-in-law? Perhaps that person could be a mediator. Is the culture such that it tends toward avoiding confrontation? Maybe that person could speak to each party separately, then. I can understand wanting to keep family problems in the family, but there's got to be some solution.

Good luck!

[Berber Mama 5]

I'm trying so hard to be nice to him, he's made it impossible and now has declared a cold war on me. So since my fiance pays for the internet, we took the internet into our room, so he can't use it to fish for European girls anymore.. That really got his panties in a bunch, and now things are ugly.. I'm just curious if anyone else has had to deal with something like this and how they dealt with it.. Don't need to hear gory details about the problems, just solutions, or compromises.. It's really bad, we have to hide our stuff from him for fear he will take it or destroy it.. I really wanna kick is @ss, but I have to live here for 5 more months..

This topic made me LOL. It's good that at least you have a sense of humor about things even if you wanna beat him senseless.

I know that your fiance pays for the internet, but since you are stuck there for 5 more months...could you put the internet back in a common place so that he can have access too? Maybe that will keep the peace and you won't have to worry about his childish antics anymore. Sorry that you are having a rough time.

Amy

[KittyPollitt 284]

This topic made me LOL. It's good that at least you have a sense of humor about things even if you wanna beat him senseless.

I know that your fiance pays for the internet, but since you are stuck there for 5 more months...could you put the internet back in a common place so that he can have access too? Maybe that will keep the peace and you won't have to worry about his childish antics anymore. Sorry that you are having a rough time.

Amy

Oh Amy, I wish that would work, but this is an individual with no sense of human decency.. he'd end up locking US out of the room with the internet if we did that.. He's the only one in the house who drives, and he charged us more for rides than a petit taxi.. not to mention that he refused to even pick us up from the airport when we arrived here... :::sigh:::

[And_Sam 44]

Oh Sarah I am so sorry your bil is making your life miserable!!! Why did you take away the internet? Was he abusing it??? Perhaps you may need to put a lock on your bedroom door!! I hope your 5 months go by fast!!!

[bridget and alen 0]

Have him buy a wireless router and you both can use the internet at the same time.duh...He is gonna be your brother-in-law for life so you might as well learn to get along.And even if he is a mean lil ###### hes your future wifes brother .Try and find some common things yall might both like a form some sort of bond with him and he might act alil better.Mabe he is jealious or sad because he thinks you are taking his sister.Somes brothers feel this but dont even understand why they feel this way.So give him alil space and learn patients because you are invaiding his territory for 5 months.Think if he showed up to live with you for 5 months how angry you would be.lol ...just trying to show you another side of it.put your feet in his shoes for a few.

[Darnell 8,478]

5 months? Are you in Morocco ? Have you formed a new cache of female friends there? Maybe it's time to have 3 to 4 there in the afternoons / early evenings - make that 'strength in numbers' campaign work for you !!

re: internet - get a router, reconfigure all. The POTENTIAL brother in law lives there, also, so you really shouldn't be confining HIS 'space'.

But - if you are 'under age 25' - forget any of my advice - make yer own way, however it seems 'normal' to you.

[KittyPollitt 284]

5 months? Are you in Morocco ? Have you formed a new cache of female friends there? Maybe it's time to have 3 to 4 there in the afternoons / early evenings - make that 'strength in numbers' campaign work for you !!

re: internet - get a router, reconfigure all. The POTENTIAL brother in law lives there, also, so you really shouldn't be confining HIS 'space'.

But - if you are 'under age 25' - forget any of my advice - make yer own way, however it seems 'normal' to you.

I wish I had some female friends that are close to where I am.. but I'm alone in this.. And I totally wouldn't have a problem getting a router if he offered to contribute to pay for it. It's a nice little chunk of change that we don't have because our daughter eats more than we do..As it is, he's been enjoying the internet we've been paying for and showing no gratitude, only this messed up sense of entitlement.. I've really gone out of my way to be kind to this guy.. I paid to throw him a big party on his birthday, to thank him for allowing me into his 'space'.. His parents had to force him to even acknowledge my kindness..

I guess I'll just try to ignore him.. Maybe he'll join the ranks at the internet cafe and stay out of my hair

[msheesha 548]

There's a yahoo group called something like "American Women Living in Morocco". Do a search in yahoo groups. There are American women who live there who get together every so often and support each other while living in Morocco.

What city are you living in?

[Berber Mama 5]

Have him buy a wireless router and you both can use the internet at the same time.duh...He is gonna be your brother-in-law for life so you might as well learn to get along.And even if he is a mean lil ###### hes your future wifes brother .Try and find some common things yall might both like a form some sort of bond with him and he might act alil better.Mabe he is jealious or sad because he thinks you are taking his sister.Somes brothers feel this but dont even understand why they feel this way.So give him alil space and learn patients because you are invaiding his territory for 5 months.Think if he showed up to live with you for 5 months how angry you would be.lol ...just trying to show you another side of it.put your feet in his shoes for a few.

I don't know about Iraq culture but in Morocco guests are treated like royalty. The guests have the best of everything and are doted on. Anyone treating a guest in this manner would bring shame or haram on the family.

The fact that he is acting this way towards her presence is definitely not normal so maybe he does deserve an @ss whooping.

[Berber Mama 5]

I wish I had some female friends that are close to where I am.. but I'm alone in this.. And I totally wouldn't have a problem getting a router if he offered to contribute to pay for it. It's a nice little chunk of change that we don't have because our daughter eats more than we do..As it is, he's been enjoying the internet we've been paying for and showing no gratitude, only this messed up sense of entitlement.. I've really gone out of my way to be kind to this guy.. I paid to throw him a big party on his birthday, to thank him for allowing me into his 'space'.. His parents had to force him to even acknowledge my kindness..

I guess I'll just try to ignore him.. Maybe he'll join the ranks at the internet cafe and stay out of my hair

My thoughts exactly!

[Nothing1234 2]

Sorry you are going thru that!! The 5 months will fly by I'm sure.

My hubby is the oldest boy and I know he could be controlling at times at the house with his younger brothers and sister. I used to remind him that it was the family home not "his" however, as the eldest it was in law and in culture he is the deciding factor in so many things. It's not easy.

Is his brother younger or the eldest? Babies can be a primo pain in the ####### as well!

I have an idea...how about a funny day by day blog about him. I would enjoy that plus some secret vidoes and snap shots...how fun would that be!!! I will be your biggest fan! LOL

I bet as another poster stated he feels like you are taking his brother away from them. I'm sure its a jealousy thing...

[Darnell 8,478]

There's a yahoo group called something like "American Women Living in Morocco". Do a search in yahoo groups. There are American women who live there who get together every so often and support each other while living in Morocco.

What city are you living in?

Ya - that reminds me - check in with http://www.meetup.com and find stuff local to you (or post yer own get together announcemnt).

[Jenn! 918]

Is the culture such that it tends toward avoiding confrontation?

I can't speak for the rest of you, but I would definitely say on that one.