in-law rant

[nayalamb 0]

hey guys,

just feel a rant coming on. what do you do when you cannot stand one of your in-laws/in-laws to be? i have issues with one of jig's female relatives (not his mom!).

this young woman is selfish, immature, thoughtless, disrespectful, loud, shrill and loves to manipulate people or situations to her advantage.

i limit contact as much as i can without being blatantly rude, but as time passes, my tolerance wanes. jig knows how i feel and tries to step in and correct her. but she just cannot understand people who don't bask in the glow of her magnificence and bow at her feet. i am trying to avoid a nasty showdown that could result in problems between us and the rest of his family, particularly his parents who i love dearly.

i have extended the olive branch repeatedly over the years, but that lasts a week or two then its back to the same old BS. i haven't done anything to hurt this lady. i've helped her with college work, business ventures, and such. but it seems like she is only ever nice when she needs help with those things (or needs to borrow money or laundry soap). when i am of no use to her, then she is back to b*tch mode.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.............

anyone else got IL issues? holla back. i need to go in search of some chocolate to calm my nerves

[SOlcayto 0]

I love all of my in-laws but if I didn't, I would simply tell myself, "Just bc you have in-laws, doesn't mean you have to like them" Just bc they're in-laws doesn't mean you have to have contact with them either. I wouldn't be mean but I wouldn't let her borrow things either. Just try to keep your contact as limited as possible, ie: don't help with Uni work, don't let her borrow laundry detergent, don't let her be a part of your life, if you really dislike her that much. It's ok. There is no rule that says you have to like everybody.

SOL

[Jasman0717 9]

I love all of my in-laws but if I didn't, I would simply tell myself, "Just bc you have in-laws, doesn't mean you have to like them" Just bc they're in-laws doesn't mean you have to have contact with them either. I wouldn't be mean but I wouldn't let her borrow things either. Just try to keep your contact as limited as possible, ie: don't help with Uni work, don't let her borrow laundry detergent, don't let her be a part of your life, if you really dislike her that much. It's ok. There is no rule that says you have to like everybody.

SOL

Sounds good to me!

[Yodrak 7]

nayalamb,

Exchange the olive branch for a baseball bat, and give her a few strokes with that next time she comes looking for one.

Yodrak

hey guys,

just feel a rant coming on. what do you do when you cannot stand one of your in-laws/in-laws to be? i have issues with one of jig's female relatives (not his mom!).

this young woman is selfish, immature, thoughtless, disrespectful, loud, shrill and loves to manipulate people or situations to her advantage.

i limit contact as much as i can without being blatantly rude, but as time passes, my tolerance wanes. jig knows how i feel and tries to step in and correct her. but she just cannot understand people who don't bask in the glow of her magnificence and bow at her feet. i am trying to avoid a nasty showdown that could result in problems between us and the rest of his family, particularly his parents who i love dearly.

i have extended the olive branch repeatedly over the years, but that lasts a week or two then its back to the same old BS. i haven't done anything to hurt this lady. i've helped her with college work, business ventures, and such. but it seems like she is only ever nice when she needs help with those things (or needs to borrow money or laundry soap). when i am of no use to her, then she is back to b*tch mode.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.............

anyone else got IL issues? holla back. i need to go in search of some chocolate to calm my nerves

Edited February 16, 2006 by Yodrak

[Jaylen Brit 0]

lol@Yodrak

I agree with Sol - you don't HAVE to like her or talk to her. And you can say NO too, to her demands for 'help'.

Say it with a polite smile and refuse to play her mind games..it'll pee her off I'm sure but she WON'T be taking advantage of you OR getting the upper hand.

[babybunny 2]

I agree with all of yall.

[Fandango 1,439]

Right, I'm going to share a little tip that helped me out years ago.

There was this person whom I couldn't stand. To this day, I have yet to meet a more annoying & hateful woman. I can go on and on, but I won't...but she was all things horrible. Anyways, I was related to her (by marriage) and everytime I'd see her, she'd do something to irritate me.

I had a customer who was a therapist & I'd rant to her all the time! So one day, the therapist says:

Therapist: So she's never done the right thing?

Me: NEVER EVER EVER!!!!

Therapist: So in all the years you've known her, she has always been horrible?

Me: YES, ABSOLUTELY!

Therapist: Then why do you keep putting your expectations so high and expecting her to somehow instantly start behaving out of her very rooted character?

Me: duh....ummm....

Therapist: Lisa, when people show you who they are, believe them & adjust your expectations.

For me, this worked wonders...she never bothered me again, because I expected her to be a sh!t. And nothing suprised me anymore.

Good luck!!!!

[nayalamb 0]

oh gosh, thanks guys!

yodrak LMAO! you sound exactly like my best friend!

i would cut her off completely if it were my choice. but alas, my SO has a soft spot for the evil b*tch.

i try not to do ANYTHING for her these days. but jig is such a warm-hearted person (unlike me), he tries to keep everything peaceful and calm. so i grudgingly help her if i can't weasel out of it.

i don't expect her to be better or different. but i had hoped that she would have enough love for jigga to try and not be such a huge b*tch.

(i REALLY hate calling women b*tches but if there was ever a truer one, i haven't met her yet! )

if it were just me, i'd pour the laundry soap over her head and kick her out the door!

[MrMrsKnight 0]

I love all of my in-laws and I feel very loved by them too... I'm lucky I guess!

Good luck to you! I hope things get better soon. I have cousins in that same situation and I know how much of a pain it can be!

[Marilyn. 340]

I am sorry you are having problems....

My in-laws are great.... my mother-in-law is so sweet.... right now she is in the hospital and we go and visit her every weekend... well, last weekend we were up there and she was reminding David and one of her other son's that was there about Valentine's day and then right before hubby and I were leaving she says "You make sure and take My Marilyn out for a nice dinner." Later I told my hubby that I am not his anymore, I am his mother's

[nayalamb 0]

i think what makes it so sad is that the rest of the family has embraced me wholeheartedly. i call his mother "mom". she is absolutely adorable!

i go and visit the siblings. i have dinner with the aunts occasionally (they can COOK!).

she is the ONLY ONE that has ever had a problem with me. i am even well-loved by my sisters' in-laws and even the families of my ex-boyfriends!

she seems to be just one of those women that is somehow resentful of ALL women (she has no close female friends at all). she is a spotlight wh---, erm, a spotlight lover.

well once i am settled here and my household is established, she better mind her Ps & Qs because my temper will only hold out just so long.