Dating Scam Stories

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

Charles you tried to help me so much and I will always remember that!!!! But she was lying about everything !!!!! I was paying her rent a single bed room but she had 4 girls living in a palce in angelis they were all doing the same thing she never went for the medical or anything....but we live and learn and if that never happened I would have never of met pam!!!!

glad to see it all worked out for the better

[Mark&Gladys 0]

OK...now it's your turn.

Thanks to all of you for sharing your stories. I will add mine. It is a very long story, but I will provide the condensed version here.

In the summer of 2007, I lost a personal business that I had built with a relative to make money for Cystic Fibrosis. This business was well designed and had an excellent business plan, but was a victim of bad timing, extraordinary bad luck and poor management on my part. Good intensions are not worth much and I lost my life savings, a huge portion of my families net worth and was left with bankruptcy and huge debts. My marriage of 7 years was struggling. I had been very busy with a full time job and the failing business and my wife had suffered long with depression and emotional instabilities. Earlier that year my wife's father had abandoned her family (4 younger children) and had suffered a breakdown of his own. Our third child was born in September of 2007 and my wife and now 3 children moved back in with her mother - 1200 miles from my office and our home. She assured me that everything was ok with the marriage, she just needed time with her mother and time to recover from our loss and the emotional loss of her father. I flew the 1200 miles back and forth every 2 weeks to spend time with my family and still keep my job all that Fall.

In late September of 2007, while playing basketball at my church I ruptured my achilles tendon and had to have surgery, crutches and months to recover. Now I was working and traveling on crutches and a cast. My wife used this and one excuse after another to stay with her mother, refusing to rejoin me at home and suffered additional emotional stresses as she recovered from childbirth. In December we were growing further and further apart, even though she was seeing a counselor. Nothing I did seemed to help her or the marriage. On December 23 my father passed away which was crushing for me. My wife attended the funeral but was cold and sad and distant. After the funeral, she flew back to her mother's home. She promised that she was doing better and would join me soon.

But, on January 8th - a very cold and dreary day - I received an email at 6pm from 1200 miles away. She had filed for divorce. No counseling, no help from our church and no previous discussion, although in retrospect there were obviously many signs. I felt like my world had ended. I was broke, heart broken, still in a cast and now alone. My family was gone. I did everything I could to try to change her mind. I stalled the divorce proceedings and asked her to see our church officials, go to counseling, meet with a mediator, on and on. She had originally told me that she would consider reconciliation and outlined a list of things she needed. That list became my life. For the next 4 months I studied and worked. I went to counseling and wrote about all my experiences and worked with my church leaders. I often slept less than 4 hours a night and lost almost 30 pounds (I was 5'7" and 155 pounds when I started). I became totally obsessed with my desire to save the marriage and return to my family. And I developed severe depression and essentially became mentally ill.

During this period, I interacted periodically with my wife directly and indirectly through our church. Sometimes it felt like I was making progress, but it always eventually slipped away. She would engage me and be encouraging and then retreat. In early April she asked that I give her some time and leave her alone and although she still wanted the divorce she would consider reconciliation. She told me that I needed to meet someone else and focus my attention elsewhere. At this point, I was in desperate shape. My health was slipping, my job was in jeopardy and I was losing my battle to save the marriage. The divorce became final on April 24th. I was lost and alone emotionally unstable and very vulnerable. I needed someone to talk to that did not know my situation so I joined a church sponsored forum for singles. I was of course not ready for a personal relationship and chatting online helped. I met several very nice women, and made a few friends, but nothing serious. I liked talking online because I could come and go as I pleased, nothing really was expected of me and I did not have to deal with a "real life" relationship. Chatting filled most of my evenings completely for several weeks.

One night in June I clicked on a link for an international dating website and I was hooked. The women were exotic and interesting and much different than the women on the other site I had been visiting. At this point I had never been exposed to international dating, VJ or any other resources. It felt good to have someone (several someones) eager to talk to me. They supported me emotionally and made me feel good about myself again and they took me away from all my worries - at least for a while. But I was still very insecure and vulnerable. Recently divorced and in desperate need of attention and support. At the time, I was not aware of the potential to be taken advantage of or the incredible lengths that some women (people) would go thru to prey on people just like me. In retrospect, I should have known better and I certainly am not proud of my mistakes. I typically act in good faith and trust everyone - and I paid for that. I sent a little money to several different women, all of which I am sure now were scammers. And I sent a lot of money to one in particular who was brilliant. She used dozens of pictures from a filipina movie star to keep me on the hook. She also used a blurry, poor quality web cam and she built an incredible story which I did not doubt (however, I am also sure I did not really want to see the truth). It felt good to be useful and appreciated. A friend of her's eventually clued me in and that ended it. It turned out that the woman who scammed me was a single mother and was desperately poor. She has since apologized and I have forgiven her. I did learn my lesson and my mistakes are easy to see now. Hindsight is 20/20.

I related that story to illustrate how people sometimes arrive in places and circumstances that are almost unbelievable before the fact. Life takes us on very strange paths sometimes. It is clear to me that I was mentally and emotionally ill for a long period of time and I was certainly taken advantage of for that. However, I suggest that those of you in a rush to condemn me for being "stupid" enough to get scammed online consider that maybe you have not been in my shoes and I hope you never have to walk that path.

Eventually, I regained my health and emotional stability. I continued to chat - much more carefully now - and weeks later met an amazing woman who is now my wife, Gladys. I have a new and much better job. My credit cards are almost paid off and I have 40% custody of the kids. My ex-wife is finding peace in her life and we are communicating now and our kids are adjusting well. So life is good! But God certainly works in very mysterious ways.

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

Hi VJers:

I am curious to hear stories by those of you who were scammed on-line by someone in the Philippines. My intention is not to embarrass anyone or disparage the Philippines (I am married to an extraordinary woman for the Philippines), but I would like to hear your stories. I personally learned a very hard lesson there at a particularly vulnerable point in my life and I would like to help others learn from my experience. I am happy to share my story if others would like to contribute theirs.

Why do you what to bring this stuff up. I think that is exactly your intent. Maybe, you are really some bitter old American woman, from one of the other forums!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I better watch what I day today!

[Mark&Gladys 0]

Why do you what to bring this stuff up. I think that is exactly your intent. Maybe, you are really some bitter old American woman, from one of the other forums!

I think maybe you are an idiot.

This "stuff" was significant in my life and I was interested in hearing from others with similar experiences. I suggest you find something positive to say or say nothing at all.

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

I think maybe you are an idiot.

This "stuff" was significant in my life and I was interested in hearing from others with similar experiences. I suggest you find something positive to say or say nothing at all.

This thread always goes bad when somebody starts bringing this subject up.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit mga Pinay gustung-gusto asarin ang kapwa pinay tapos hindi binibigyan ang kapwa pinay ng benefit of the doubt. Porke naligaw ang manoy ng isang horny white guy sa Pinas at the wrong place and at a wrong time, palagi sinisisi ang mga Pinay na gusto lang naman gumanda ang buhay.

Edited April 30, 2010 by Rocky_nBullwinkle

[sweet angel 5]

Thanks to all of you for sharing your stories. I will add mine. It is a very long story, but I will provide the condensed version here.

In the summer of 2007, I lost a personal business that I had built with a relative to make money for Cystic Fibrosis. This business was well designed and had an excellent business plan, but was a victim of bad timing, extraordinary bad luck and poor management on my part. Good intensions are not worth much and I lost my life savings, a huge portion of my families net worth and was left with bankruptcy and huge debts. My marriage of 7 years was struggling. I had been very busy with a full time job and the failing business and my wife had suffered long with depression and emotional instabilities. Earlier that year my wife's father had abandoned her family (4 younger children) and had suffered a breakdown of his own. Our third child was born in September of 2007 and my wife and now 3 children moved back in with her mother - 1200 miles from my office and our home. She assured me that everything was ok with the marriage, she just needed time with her mother and time to recover from our loss and the emotional loss of her father. I flew the 1200 miles back and forth every 2 weeks to spend time with my family and still keep my job all that Fall.

In late September of 2007, while playing basketball at my church I ruptured my achilles tendon and had to have surgery, crutches and months to recover. Now I was working and traveling on crutches and a cast. My wife used this and one excuse after another to stay with her mother, refusing to rejoin me at home and suffered additional emotional stresses as she recovered from childbirth. In December we were growing further and further apart, even though she was seeing a counselor. Nothing I did seemed to help her or the marriage. On December 23 my father passed away which was crushing for me. My wife attended the funeral but was cold and sad and distant. After the funeral, she flew back to her mother's home. She promised that she was doing better and would join me soon.

But, on January 8th - a very cold and dreary day - I received an email at 6pm from 1200 miles away. She had filed for divorce. No counseling, no help from our church and no previous discussion, although in retrospect there were obviously many signs. I felt like my world had ended. I was broke, heart broken, still in a cast and now alone. My family was gone. I did everything I could to try to change her mind. I stalled the divorce proceedings and asked her to see our church officials, go to counseling, meet with a mediator, on and on. She had originally told me that she would consider reconciliation and outlined a list of things she needed. That list became my life. For the next 4 months I studied and worked. I went to counseling and wrote about all my experiences and worked with my church leaders. I often slept less than 4 hours a night and lost almost 30 pounds (I was 5'7" and 155 pounds when I started). I became totally obsessed with my desire to save the marriage and return to my family. And I developed severe depression and essentially became mentally ill.

During this period, I interacted periodically with my wife directly and indirectly through our church. Sometimes it felt like I was making progress, but it always eventually slipped away. She would engage me and be encouraging and then retreat. In early April she asked that I give her some time and leave her alone and although she still wanted the divorce she would consider reconciliation. She told me that I needed to meet someone else and focus my attention elsewhere. At this point, I was in desperate shape. My health was slipping, my job was in jeopardy and I was losing my battle to save the marriage. The divorce became final on April 24th. I was lost and alone emotionally unstable and very vulnerable. I needed someone to talk to that did not know my situation so I joined a church sponsored forum for singles. I was of course not ready for a personal relationship and chatting online helped. I met several very nice women, and made a few friends, but nothing serious. I liked talking online because I could come and go as I pleased, nothing really was expected of me and I did not have to deal with a "real life" relationship. Chatting filled most of my evenings completely for several weeks.

One night in June I clicked on a link for an international dating website and I was hooked. The women were exotic and interesting and much different than the women on the other site I had been visiting. At this point I had never been exposed to international dating, VJ or any other resources. It felt good to have someone (several someones) eager to talk to me. They supported me emotionally and made me feel good about myself again and they took me away from all my worries - at least for a while. But I was still very insecure and vulnerable. Recently divorced and in desperate need of attention and support. At the time, I was not aware of the potential to be taken advantage of or the incredible lengths that some women (people) would go thru to prey on people just like me. In retrospect, I should have known better and I certainly am not proud of my mistakes. I typically act in good faith and trust everyone - and I paid for that. I sent a little money to several different women, all of which I am sure now were scammers. And I sent a lot of money to one in particular who was brilliant. She used dozens of pictures from a filipina movie star to keep me on the hook. She also used a blurry, poor quality web cam and she built an incredible story which I did not doubt (however, I am also sure I did not really want to see the truth). It felt good to be useful and appreciated. A friend of her's eventually clued me in and that ended it. It turned out that the woman who scammed me was a single mother and was desperately poor. She has since apologized and I have forgiven her. I did learn my lesson and my mistakes are easy to see now. Hindsight is 20/20.

I related that story to illustrate how people sometimes arrive in places and circumstances that are almost unbelievable before the fact. Life takes us on very strange paths sometimes. It is clear to me that I was mentally and emotionally ill for a long period of time and I was certainly taken advantage of for that. However, I suggest that those of you in a rush to condemn me for being "stupid" enough to get scammed online consider that maybe you have not been in my shoes and I hope you never have to walk that path.

Eventually, I regained my health and emotional stability. I continued to chat - much more carefully now - and weeks later met an amazing woman who is now my wife, Gladys. I have a new and much better job. My credit cards are almost paid off and I have 40% custody of the kids. My ex-wife is finding peace in her life and we are communicating now and our kids are adjusting well. So life is good! But God certainly works in very mysterious ways.

Indeed God is great all the time even in the most difficult situation. Maybe at first we can't find the answer why we suffer,but in the end we will find out the good reason behind those struggle times. I'm happy u find true happiness.I wish u all the best in ur married life. Godbless!

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

let's avoid the namecalling please.

[Fudpukker 18]

the plot gets thicker.........

[Mark&Gladys 0]

let's avoid the namecalling please.

Indeed. I apologize to Rocky N Bullwinkle. My sensitivity trumped my better judgement.

[Tahoma 2,292]

One night in June I clicked on a link for an international dating website and I was hooked.

I was not aware of the potential to be taken advantage of...

I should have known better...

I sent a little money to several different women, all of which I am sure now were scammers.

And I sent a lot of money to one in particular...

Edited for brevity.

[Psoas10 17]

It can happen to anybody, myself included. However for me it did not happen, coz I met her through her cousin here. So I could ask all the usual questions first. Also the family here was good and not strange. I guess using the internet to meet women, esp from PI, is role of dice, and u can be lucky or not so lucky.

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

Edited for brevity.

Don't think with your dipstick, Johnny!

[skidivawannabe 2]

If someone gets scammed on line then I say good job for the scammer.

My advice to any one looking for love in the Philippines is to hop on a plane and you will find all the woman you want. Philippines is like DisneyLand for adults, most Americans can have just about any girl they want in the Philippines.

Confident, are you?

[treefrog 0]

An American got scammed by a Filipino homosexual. Poor guy didn't know that he's sending money to someone he thought was a lady.

hi I have read that your wife fortunately passed the RN nCLEX exam,I am a RN nurse in the Philippines and planning to take Nclex exam here in Arkansas.Did your wife undergo such nursing review lesson? or just have nursing books that been reviewed by herself? how much did you pay to take her nclex exam? what about CGFNS/ IELTS/ TOFEL exam?did she take any of this text aside from NCLEx prior to working as US-RN?