Yardies a home and a farrin - Part 26!

[*JG* 2]

Sometimes, kids need more than what's called "handling" You can be the sternest parent in the world and your child STILL acts out, you could've raised 10 well behaved kids and child number 11 comes out a hot mess. Sometimes it has nothing to do withthe parents, it can be the environment that they're around, ie school and or they have something going on mentally. Just my opinion.

Makes me smile

And that's why the cycle of having problems in your relationship contunies, you have to accept your man/woman the way they are UNTIL they are ready to change. No pressure is the best way.

Goodmorning chiney eyes, how are you?

Or you are

[Ellsinlove 2]

Morning Yardies!

Congrats Tee!

Happy Anni Chiney!

Good news KJ!

Hi Kimmy and JAE. Missed you guys.

In Ells defense, I think sometimes her choice of words in poor. I do not believe she meant to state it that way. I get what she's saying though. It's not about having friends of the opposite sex. It's not even about telling your SO about certain friends in particular. JAE is right in that you will probably never know ALL their friends of the opposite sex just cause you can't possible be around 24/7. What I think Ells is all about, and correct me if I'm wrong, Ells......it's about LYING about the whole thing and then her catching him. It's about his pattern of lying over stupid little things. Her rant was more or less if he could just be honest, it wouldn't be a thing.

That being said, I have mostly male friends. I would not do well if someone told me I couldn't have those friends cause of what MIGHT happen.

None of that is insurmountable. But, it's going to take a lot of time, patience, and communication. I'm so sorry both of you are going through tough times. I wish you both the very best.

You TOTALLY 'get it' JG! Thank you for understanding my point. It's the LIES that are getting on my last nerve, not his choice of friends. Of course, when he lies about who he's visiting with, it does make me wonder why he feels the need to, like what is he hiding. I also have mostly guy friends & he wouldn't ask me to give them up, nor would I if he tried to. However, by the same token, I don't spend a lot of time alone with any of them & if I were to, he'd have just as much of a problem with it as I would. What the heck do I need to be going over to some guy's house for a few hours a couple time's a week for?? I have no need for that, my husband (& supposed best friend) is at home. He'd be the green-eyed monster if I acted the way he acts sometimes. But the real issue is the lying. I really don't spend a lot of time checking on him but as his wife, I do have a right to ask things like "who was that?" when I hear a female voice on the phone calling him. When he tries to cover up by saying it's one of his guy friends, that just insults me to my core. And I completely agree with JAEnglish & what she is saying. (In fact, I think I'm going to read what she wrote to him tonight.) I give my husband every opportunity to act like a man, but when he's constantly lying about ish, he's acting like a child. Anyway, it is what it is & whatever happens, happens.

[finesse 3]

ladyc, how lil (big) man do last night?

[Chiney*Eyes 0]

That THE ideal situation. I can tell you, though, no matter how much YOU want that, there are always 2-5 other people who have to go with that as well. I'm beating my head into a wall trying to develop relationships and just go with the flow. It's not easy at all.

Nope its not BUT we cannot stop trying? and let me not forget to say it wasnt to begin with..got better over time

[LadyC 1]

ladyc, how lil (big) man do last night?

The same like he does every night girl. We put him to bed and he started to bawl as usual but we ignored him. When that did not work he kept coming out to go to the bathroom. G put him back to bed and then he started turning the lights on and off. I was trying to help G fill out all his employment papers so when I got up and told him to stop he kept up the bawling. We finally went to our room and I have no idea when he stop bawl. SMH

[Chiney*Eyes 0]

Morning Yardies!

Congrats Tee!

Happy Anni Chiney!

Good news KJ!

You TOTALLY 'get it' JG! Thank you for understanding my point. It's the LIES that are getting on my last nerve, not his choice of friends. Of course, when he lies about who he's visiting with, it does make me wonder why he feels the need to, like what is he hiding. I also have mostly guy friends & he wouldn't ask me to give them up, nor would I if he tried to. However, by the same token, I don't spend a lot of time alone with any of them & if I were to, he'd have just as much of a problem with it as I would. What the heck do I need to be going over to some guy's house for a few hours a couple time's a week for?? I have no need for that, my husband (& supposed best friend) is at home. He'd be the green-eyed monster if I acted the way he acts sometimes. But the real issue is the lying. I really don't spend a lot of time checking on him but as his wife, I do have a right to ask things like "who was that?" when I hear a female voice on the phone calling him. When he tries to cover up by saying it's one of his guy friends, that just insults me to my core. And I completely agree with JAEnglish & what she is saying. (In fact, I think I'm going to read what she wrote to him tonight.) I give my husband every opportunity to act like a man, but when he's constantly lying about ish, he's acting like a child. Anyway, it is what it is & whatever happens, happens.

If I havent read anything that u, ladyc or jaegy wrote..just picking up oueces..if u have lieing u have a BIG ####(this was only ####### sorry) problem

Edited May 11, 2010 by Chiney*Eyes

[Ellsinlove 2]

If I havent read anything that u, ladyc or jaegy wrote..just picking up oueces..if u have lieing u have a BIG ####(this was only ####### sorry) problem

True dat! And I'm going to let him know that that is the general consensus. We're trying to work on this but only God knows the outcome.

[DedicatedWife 4]

Oh I forgot to say that My hubby started his job today....

Congratulations G!

[DedicatedWife 4]

The same like he does every night girl. We put him to bed and he started to bawl as usual but we ignored him. When that did not work he kept coming out to go to the bathroom. G put him back to bed and then he started turning the lights on and off. I was trying to help G fill out all his employment papers so when I got up and told him to stop he kept up the bawling. We finally went to our room and I have no idea when he stop bawl. SMH

Dang lil'fella!

[sugarapple 1]

Lady C he need a good cut A$% from he father..the one where you would have to pull he father off of him...and then he will realize D$%^ no more playing around.

Finesse I glad you still felling sexy...cant put up no smiley cause this broadband a work slow.

Tee that was fast. you no get it subway credits right, real money we a talk ?

JQ yes we all have been there lol I was just there yesterday..no I good if you know wha mi mean. lol

[*JG* 2]

Morning Yardies!

Congrats Tee!

Happy Anni Chiney!

Good news KJ!

You TOTALLY 'get it' JG! Thank you for understanding my point. It's the LIES that are getting on my last nerve, not his choice of friends. Of course, when he lies about who he's visiting with, it does make me wonder why he feels the need to, like what is he hiding. I also have mostly guy friends & he wouldn't ask me to give them up, nor would I if he tried to. However, by the same token, I don't spend a lot of time alone with any of them & if I were to, he'd have just as much of a problem with it as I would. What the heck do I need to be going over to some guy's house for a few hours a couple time's a week for?? I have no need for that, my husband (& supposed best friend) is at home. He'd be the green-eyed monster if I acted the way he acts sometimes. But the real issue is the lying. I really don't spend a lot of time checking on him but as his wife, I do have a right to ask things like "who was that?" when I hear a female voice on the phone calling him. When he tries to cover up by saying it's one of his guy friends, that just insults me to my core. And I completely agree with JAEnglish & what she is saying. (In fact, I think I'm going to read what she wrote to him tonight.) I give my husband every opportunity to act like a man, but when he's constantly lying about ish, he's acting like a child. Anyway, it is what it is & whatever happens, happens.

Yeah, I would be bugged by the lying too. If you have to lie to me, then you are doing something you already know I will have a problem with. Why not just tell me first and we will come to some sort of a conclusion.

I actually do spend a lot of free time with my guy friends. You know BF is a fireman. 24 hour shifts. He encourages me to go out with Daniel and Rob a lot. Takes a lot of trust for him to do that because early last year I dated Daniel for a while and actually stressed when they pretty much made me choose one of them. In the end, we are all friends and I know I made the right choice.

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

LadyC, as I specifically said, my words were not meant as an attack, but more a REALITY CHECK.

No-one can tell you what you should do in your house, but I am entitled to give my opinion in the same way you have the right to vent.

My words were not meant to cut you down or to judge, but more to put yourself in your husband's shoes.

And also, while I know you were venting, suppose he overheard you saying you would send him back? As JG said, if you aren't about to load him on a plane, don't use the words. Again, you are welcome to step past my comments.

Now this board SHOULD be about supporting people, but at the same time, if one of my friends vented to me like you did to the board, I wouldn't be a TRUE FRIEND if I didn't say to her what I said to you.

As for yelling, it's just how I emphasize words. Take it or leave it, no offence intended.

JG, I hear on Ells. And I agree with you that it is probably a poor choice in words and perhaps in actions.

But as someone with pride, I would not want to hear my husband talking about me being 'allowed'. And as for th sending back thing, as the IMMIGRANT in my relationship, I would take DEEP offence to my husband infering/saying/suggesting he was going to send me back. Nuh MAIL ORDER bride right yaso.

If you haven't bought the plane ticket, you shouldn't be tslking about sending people back. A husband/child ain't for no damn Christmas.

And YES things are said in anger, but PLEASE just THINK before you talk, because some things can NEVER be taken back!!

Even if you apologise or rae rae, how can you expect a man to feel SECURE knowing this is how you are talking?

And yes, I know 'sending him back' could really mean 'leaving him', but it's the whole CONNOTATION!

If my husband said, you know what this isn't working out, I could move past that. And repair something after that. But if he said 'I'm thinking about buying you a ticket and sending you back' that's WHOLE different thing!!

Affa dis a anno WALMART CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!!

Unu fi watch weh unu a duh and a seh caws if mi nuh deh wid unu and feel suh, imagine how dem a feel?

[*JG* 2]

Nope its not BUT we cannot stop trying? and let me not forget to say it wasnt to begin with..got better over time

Thank you for that, Kimmy. Some days I need someone to say, keep at it....it can get better.

[Chiney*Eyes 0]

True dat! And I'm going to let him know that that is the general consensus. We're trying to work on this but only God knows the outcome.

And all yuh can do is TRY just affi know when u have TRIED enuff

[*JG* 2]

The same like he does every night girl. We put him to bed and he started to bawl as usual but we ignored him. When that did not work he kept coming out to go to the bathroom. G put him back to bed and then he started turning the lights on and off. I was trying to help G fill out all his employment papers so when I got up and told him to stop he kept up the bawling. We finally went to our room and I have no idea when he stop bawl. SMH

Hope nobody takes this wrong, but he sounds like a baby. You know the whole they cry for no reason and if you pick them up, they learn how to work it. When there really is nothing wrong, if you just leave them there to cry, they learn to comfort themselves and go to sleep.

Time and patience, C.