Yardies a home and a farrin - Part 26!

[Mrs. Palmer 5]

Ok JaEnglish I dont know who or what rubbed you the wrong way but in no way that has anything to do with me or anyone else who voice their opinions on this board. You do not have to like what is said but you do have to respect people for saying whats on their minds. First off we only know each other from this board so no one has any right to judge any one. I did marry my husband and I also married his child just like he married mines. I thought my children manners and I also thought my children how to treat people. So if my kids got out of pocket with any one I would put a stop to it. I have raised 3 children and I did a great job as a single mother. So this is why I know how kids should behave. I also have a right to try and help my step son and if its not working I also have a right to send him back to his mom. Thats between me and my husband. I have talked to my husband about this before and after my step son came. You do not live in my home and I only voiced a few of his actions on here so you have no right to attack me for what I have to say. Yes its only been a week that should let you know just how bad it is. If you want to give advise then give it but by no means do you have to be nasty in giving it. Dont yell at me in your answer. I read things on here that I dont like and if I dont like it I dont comment. I do not rule my husband and my husband do not rule me but when it comes to his son we discuss everything. So any decision that is made for him will be by both of us. Thanks

LadyC, I don't think that JaE was trying to be disrespectful at all. I imagine she's just passionate (as are many) about this topic. I laud you for raising your kids to be good kids, because many can't/don't. I just want to strongly encourage you and your husband to seek some outside professional assistance from a therapist or counselor. Finding someone who specializes in behavior modification techniques would be good. If you could find someone who specializes in working with immigrant families would be even better, but I'm not sure what's available in your area/with your insurance. I just don't want you to give up so soon. Although it sounds like he might be a true terror. Remember this is a lifetime of behaviors he has learned--and while you say, "he's only 7", 7 years of learned behaviors that are detrimental and dangerous is 7 years too many. If you're willing, it's gonna take months of work to work out. This wsan't something that he learned overnight. That's just the truth of the matter. And that's if you AND your husband are putting 200% of your efforts into working on it TOGETHER! If not, then it's gonna take much longer than that, with less successful results. We are all really here for you. Even if we're not around much. Hope things work out.

[Chiney*Eyes 0]

Step or not step child we MUST treat these kids are our OWN like we agve birth to them..it's only fair? I love my step kids and yes i will be punishing and all that like i pushed them out! I be damn if i'm gonna wait on Kashi to come deal with them..hell noah!

[kjenkins86 5]

Goodmorning yardies, I've been reading from my phone and I see I havre alot to reply to. In the meantime I am happy to say

:dance: NO TUMOR!!!

[LadyC 1]

LadyC, I don't think that JaE was trying to be disrespectful at all. I imagine she's just passionate (as are many) about this topic. I laud you for raising your kids to be good kids, because many can't/don't. I just want to strongly encourage you and your husband to seek some outside professional assistance from a therapist or counselor. Finding someone who specializes in behavior modification techniques would be good. If you could find someone who specializes in working with immigrant families would be even better, but I'm not sure what's available in your area/with your insurance. I just don't want you to give up so soon. Although it sounds like he might be a true terror. Remember this is a lifetime of behaviors he has learned--and while you say, "he's only 7", 7 years of learned behaviors that are detrimental and dangerous is 7 years too many. If you're willing, it's gonna take months of work to work out. This wsan't something that he learned overnight. That's just the truth of the matter. And that's if you AND your husband are putting 200% of your efforts into working on it TOGETHER! If not, then it's gonna take much longer than that, with less successful results. We are all really here for you. Even if we're not around much. Hope things work out.

Thanks Mrs Palmer I understand what you are saying but I dont not need to be attacked for my venting. Yes I know that my VJ sisters are here for me but If and when I vent that does not give anyone the right to attacke me and that is how her post came across to me. I am a mother first and foremost so I know how to parent with love. I know this wont be easy but I am willing to try. Ok some peole might not like what I said about sending him back but thats how I felt at that moment. Would I put him on a plane today and send him back no. Do I expect over night change no. But it does get frustrating when he screams at the top of his lungs for no reason until after midnight. I live in an apt complex and mi nah want no police come knock pon mi door. Again Thanks for your advise.

Goodmorning yardies, I've been reading from my phone and I see I havre alot to reply to. In the meantime I am happy to say

:dance: NO TUMOR!!!

Yea KJ

[Chiney*Eyes 0]

LadyC, I don't think that JaE was trying to be disrespectful at all. I imagine she's just passionate (as are many) about this topic. I laud you for raising your kids to be good kids, because many can't/don't. I just want to strongly encourage you and your husband to seek some outside professional assistance from a therapist or counselor. Finding someone who specializes in behavior modification techniques would be good. If you could find someone who specializes in working with immigrant families would be even better, but I'm not sure what's available in your area/with your insurance. I just don't want you to give up so soon. Although it sounds like he might be a true terror. Remember this is a lifetime of behaviors he has learned--and while you say, "he's only 7", 7 years of learned behaviors that are detrimental and dangerous is 7 years too many. If you're willing, it's gonna take months of work to work out. This wsan't something that he learned overnight. That's just the truth of the matter. And that's if you AND your husband are putting 200% of your efforts into working on it TOGETHER! If not, then it's gonna take much longer than that, with less successful results. We are all really here for you. Even if we're not around much. Hope things work out.

Tam..PLUS..just like adults have to adjust our children have to also!! Its no secret Kashi has 3 other kids..and there is never a thought of them not living or spending alot of time with ALL of us at some point...My bilogical kids NEED to know their sisters I send my kids to visit with her sisters and Kashi's ex LOVES my kids as I do hers..I think when the wife and child's mother develop a decent relationship things are better IMO.

[kjenkins86 5]

Mock shopping??? Please explain.

If you haven't signed up for CVS's email list, you can do so and they'll send you a $4 off $20 purchase. http://bit.ly/93Q7yc

Plus when you scan your card in the store, it prints coupons. Some vary by person. Today, it printed a $4 off $20 for me.

I use excel to help me get the best deal. I put in all the sale prices and coupons I have. The goal (for me) is to make my purchases just over $20 before coupons, so I can use $4 off $20 coupons multiple times. Then give coupons to bring it down more.

Here's an example of what you could do this week (assuming you had the coupons, which you prob don't):

2 Carefree pantyliners $2 - $2 mfr cpns

Kotex U product $4.50 - $1 mfr cpn, - $1 CVS coupon (print at cvs.com), + $4.50 in EB

Crest prohealth rinse $3.50 - $.75 mfr cpn + $3.50 EB

Crest prohealth toothpaste $3.50 - $.75 mfr cpn + $3.50 EB

2 Dove travel deodorant $2 - $2 mfr cpn

2 Pantene conditioner $7 - $1 mfr cpn + $3 EB (or get shampoo & conditioner. I like their conditioner more than shampoo)

2 Right Guard deodorant $6 - $3 mfr cpn + 4 EB

--------

Total before coupons: $28.50 (more than I'd spend in one purchase. I'd save the Pantene for the next trip.)

Then use $4 off $20. Now at $24.50

Then use the CVS cpns & mfr cpns: 10.50

Total after all coupons: 14.50

Extra Buck rewards: $18.50

If you take off the Pantene, you'd spend $8.50 and get back $15.50.

Then you would go a second time and get any other deals this week, like the Pantene, tuna, toilet paper, toothbrushes, and whatever else you need. You'd use the Extra Bucks from the first trip to barely spend anything out of pocket, plus get more Extra Bucks!

To go a step farther, you'd go to iheartcvs.com and look at the CVS ads for the next couple of weeks, to see if anything will get even cheaper. But I'd save this for after mastering the basics. (Also see iheartwags.com for future Walgreens ads)

Mock shopping as in made a list of all the items I'd buy, calculated the total and the total rewards I'd get back.

Just I'm glad you're okay sis. Kj its not lady c who as the problem its her hubby not sticking to the punishment. They need to be on the same page when it comes to him.

The way I saw it is that the little boy needs help as well but thanks for the clarification

Boy, a lot of stuff went down on here today. I just wanted to say I received a letter from the college today and they are letting me resume classes and I don't have to rush to take the math test. As long as I do it before I graduate and maintain a 3.0 gpa!!!! Glory be to God I am SO happy

Boy, a lot of stuff went down on here today. I just wanted to say I received a letter from the college today and they are letting me resume classes and I don't have to rush to take the math test. As long as I do it before I graduate and maintain a 3.0 gpa!!!! Glory be to God I am SO happy

I am happy to see that you can move on to continue your education but that also gives you more time to prepare for the test the next time to take it. Goodluck mama!

"Allowed'??????????

My husband is a GROWN man, he will associate with who he chooses. If you cannot TRUST the man that you vowed to LOVE, HONOR and OBEY you HONESTLY need to be looking at a divorce!!

My HUSBAND is not a DOG, he doesn't need a LEASH, he's man with MORALS and FREEDOM of CHOICE. He is with me because he CHOSE to be and he CHOOSES not to do otherwise!

Those in favour of leashes and ALLOWING you man to do this and dictating whether he'll have female friends, does he have a job?

You ever going to let him out of your sight? For the rest of your life?

What on earth is wrong in YOUR house if your man has to be TOLD what to do, where to go and BOUND?

Maybe if you started treating your HUSBAND and SOUL MATE like a MAN and not a CHILD or a DOG, he would start acting like one!

And if he doesn't??? ####### are you doing with him in the first place????????????

My husband has some VERY good female friends who he goes out to lunch with, calls, texts and who knows what else.

Could he cheat? YES!

But he could also cheat with a co-worker, his doctor, a clssmate, ANYONE for chrissakes.

If he wants to, GOOD DARN LUCK to him!!!!! When I find out I'm gone, but until then, HE IS A GROWN #### MAN!!!!!!!!!

If has thought he wasn't capable of being FAITHFUL to me, I would never have married him. If you THOUGHT he was was and discovered AFTER marriage he 'needs to be monitored', what the heck are you going to do??? Watch him for the rest of your life?

Vet his friends? Follow him? Check his phone records? Go through his wallet???

Good luck to you.

Ells, while SOME of this is directed towards you for the word 'allowed', by no means is it an attack, but geez, take a LONG and HARD look at your thought process. And the same goes for ALL of you posting here about allowing this and that and choosing friends and 'b!tch slapping' their men. I honestly wonder what kind of JAIL your men live in!!

What happened to HONORING and RESPECTING your men??

And for BETTER and fort WORSE?? Seems like the second 'for worse' happens, all bets are off.

Good luck to ALL, God knows you need it!

Um, if I'm not mistaken Ells meant that if she didn't allow him to keep up his phockeryt, I don't think she meant allow him to talk to females. That's what I got when I read her post.

Hell, this is going to upset enough people anyway, let me just say the rest as well.

Lady C, when you married your husband, you accepted him AND his child.

So it PAINS me that LESS than a MONTH after the boy gets here, you're talking about shipping him home because he doesn't fit in with your expectations of behaviour??????????????

If as you say, this behaviour started and was accepted in Jamaica, what did you think was going to happen when he came here? And if you didn't know about it, do you think it'll take a WEEK or even a MONTH to change?

Let me ask you, let's say YOUR children had the behaviour problem, (yes I know they are well-behaved rae, rae), and your HUSBAND decided he couldn't deal with it, would you ship your kids off to your ex?? Yes I know he probably supports you, rae rae....But this is a CHILD we are talking about, your HUSBAND's CHILSD. Who he LOVES. Why would you send him back to a home that has failed him in your words? Because you signed up for better but not for this worse?

Philly's kids in her own words have been a HANDFUL, do you see her husband walking away? Hell no, he STAYED and DEALT with it as a TEAM.

Damn, the kid is SEVEN years old, take the reins and do what you need to, support your husband and help him deal with his son, because he is YOURRRRRRRR joint responsibility now!

ALl I can say is the more I read this board the more I am appreciative of what I have, and NO life isn't no bed of roses round here.

But when my son threw my husband's advances back in his face, my husband never told me to send him away. And when my son acted the hell up, my husband dealt with it. And when my son came back from his dad's with a whole new set of retorts, he dealt with it. And still deals with it.

I am glad you REMEMBER AND HONOR YOUR VOWS EVERYDAY ALL DAY SINCE THE DAY YOU SAID I DO!

[DedicatedWife 4]

Goodmorning yardies, I've been reading from my phone and I see I havre alot to reply to. In the meantime I am happy to say

:dance: NO TUMOR!!!

Amen, that is wondeful news!

[DedicatedWife 4]

Thanks Mrs Palmer I understand what you are saying but I dont not need to be attacked for my venting. Yes I know that my VJ sisters are here for me but If and when I vent that does not give anyone the right to attacke me and that is how her post came across to me. I am a mother first and foremost so I know how to parent with love. I know this wont be easy but I am willing to try. Ok some peole might not like what I said about sending him back but thats how I felt at that moment. Would I put him on a plane today and send him back no. Do I expect over night change no. But it does get frustrating when he screams at the top of his lungs for no reason until after midnight. I live in an apt complex and mi nah want no police come knock pon mi door. Again Thanks for your advise.

Lady C, you all will get through this as a family!

[LadyC 1]

Tam..PLUS..just like adults have to adjust our children have to also!! Its no secret Kashi has 3 other kids..and there is never a thought of them not living or spending alot of time with ALL of us at some point...My bilogical kids NEED to know their sisters I send my kids to visit with her sisters and Kashi's ex LOVES my kids as I do hers..I think when the wife and child's mother develop a decent relationship things are better IMO.

I love Jaheim as if he is my own and I have an ok relationship with his mom. We have never had any issues. She admits that she did not help with his behavior and when ever he acted up she did not punish him some times she spank but most times she would tell him to leave her alone and go play or do what ever it is he wanted to do (her words not mine). When he is screaming sometimes we call her and she said this is how he behave with her but when she get tired of the screaming she give in to him.

[DaDa 1]

Awww shoot I forgot to say good morning to everyone...Morning Yardies

Morning!!!

[DaDa 1]

Morning Lady C!

Congratulations! I'm happy for you! Yes, girl my hubby and I moved just the two of us, a U-Haul truck, and a dolly Poe thangs!

Dat’s what people keep telling me stop acting like I cant move a box. They tell me to pull up my big girls panties (which I already have on regardless) push back my sleeves and do it. I’m just not used to it the only thing my EX was good for was moving me. I asked him to help me but he told me to ask mi Jamaican man ta help. I told him he will as soon as he’s here. Kissteet Such a loser!!! You shouldn’t be helping me for me but for your kids you ahole. Lord knows you barely do anything for them anyways.

[kjenkins86 5]

I agree 100%, if you can't handle a 7 year old. how are you going to handle a grown man, I would never put my husband or anyone eles before my child except God. JUST KEEPING IT REAL!!!

Sometimes, kids need more than what's called "handling" You can be the sternest parent in the world and your child STILL acts out, you could've raised 10 well behaved kids and child number 11 comes out a hot mess. Sometimes it has nothing to do withthe parents, it can be the environment that they're around, ie school and or they have something going on mentally. Just my opinion.

It is weird my ex husband and I are both brown skinned but three of my children are light complexion and then my baby girl is chocolate. It’s the weirdest thing.

Makes me smile

I learned the hard way you can’t change a man he has to want to change. I tried so hard to change my ex and look where it got me no where so now I know going forward either I can deal with it or not but don’t expect them to change their ways. Of course if they do nice but don’t expect it….

And that's why the cycle of having problems in your relationship contunies, you have to accept your man/woman the way they are UNTIL they are ready to change. No pressure is the best way.

Hello JaEnglish how the heck are yah!

hello to everyone else who cares

Goodmorning chiney eyes, how are you?

[DaDa 1]

Goodmorning yardies, I've been reading from my phone and I see I havre alot to reply to. In the meantime I am happy to say

:dance: NO TUMOR!!!

Yayyyyyy!!! Have you got your monthly yet?

[DedicatedWife 4]

Dat’s what people keep telling me stop acting like I cant move a box. They tell me to pull up my big girls panties (which I already have on regardless) push back my sleeves and do it. I’m just not used to it the only thing my EX was good for was moving me. I asked him to help me but he told me to ask mi Jamaican man ta help. I told him he will as soon as he’s here. Kissteet Such a loser!!! You shouldn’t be helping me for me but for your kids you ahole. Lord knows you barely do anything for them anyways.

Girl folks get gone when its time to assist, but I know you will get 'er done. What's for you will be...look out NC here comes Dada...

[Always Blessed 1]

Goodmorning yardies, I've been reading from my phone and I see I havre alot to reply to. In the meantime I am happy to say

:dance: NO TUMOR!!!

Amen ! That is great news