Yardies a home and a farrin - Part 26!

[sugarapple 1]

JQ, take your time and think about what is best for everyone in the situtation especially yourself. That is not being selfish!!!! You must know that is you wake up one morning and the baby have you down and out for the count that someone can take care of all those kids.

Take your time and decide, Granddaddy can do it !!!!

SO sorry

Praying it gets resolved TODAY!

Thanks Princess. I know something will happen soon.

[MRStee 19]

Sugar, sugar ... Nothing in this process is easy. We are still waiting on our AOS status.. People have come and gone all around us. One thing I see is when you take the approach like okay whatever happens happens, it lessens your worrying some. Just try to occupy yourself with other things so you don't think about it as much.. To tell you not to worry is useless... just stay busy mi friend... soon come...

[bajankutie 4]

Does anyone know what kinds of test are done on the medical

[JQ Smiley BOOM 3]

WoW JQ that sounds like a lot. I have not read your story on your sister so I dont know whats happening but if their are other family members who can help they should. Maybe one person can have physical custody and everyone else can have her for long holidays and if someone lives near by they can help with picking up, dropping off, homework, fun times etc.

My sister was sentenced for 19-40 month in Las Vegas Prison, my neice is with her grandma right now and goes back and forth with my dad.

I like your idea, I was willing to do that with my dad

Hey JQ , The baby is waving to u How is your little one coming along? And i do not think you are being selfish by any means you have your children to take care of and one on the way, So I agree you have to let your step daughter get here and adjust, then the baby and like you said maybe at a latter date if possible it maybe a option.

The baby is good making me so greedy girl

I dont feel like its selfish because I have my 2 boys, my step daughter that will come b4 anyone right now in my eyes, and then our new addition next year. I have no problem with weekeds but full time is alot to ask of me right now.

I do not know what it is to walk in your shoes so cannot pass judgment on your decision.

In Jamaica, it would be a foregone conclusion that you would take the child. That is probably why your husband said he would take the child, in Jamaica, the question would even arise, it would be assumed that the child would be taken in.

I know you are saying that your daughter needs to adjust, but what is the alternative if no-one takes your niece? Foster care?

This is probably one of the biggest cultural difference between Americans and Jamaicans. Here, it's no biggie. The though is, well I can't be inconvenienced, so while I'd like to take the child I can't. In Jamaica, there's a sense of responsibility, no matter how it is going to be worked out, it is going to have to be worked out.

Your husband is probably finding how you think incomprehensible right now because it is so far removed from what he would expect to do.

Hope you make the right decision.

JaE I hear what your saying but 5 kids in one house from 2 is an adjustment that I cant do overnight.

Heck no, but to your question Foster care is not an option.

1. her grandma

2. my dad

3. my brother and his wife

4. me

There are places she can go and alternate but for some reason my dad says it is best with me!

I understand because it is structure but to me his home is more structured than mine. My niece would get more attention there also, being the only child.

It doesn't sound selfish at all, girly. adding 3.....yes 3 more kids to that house would be overwhelming to anyone. And, face it, hubby is still adjusting as well. You are thinking with your head, my friend. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. I think it's the right thing to do.

Yes my hubby is still adjusting thats right I forgot about that and I told him our concern right now is Moy moy, because if she adjusts like Lady C's step son did, Im loose my mind.(Love you Lady C) We have to be prepared for her right now, and Hubby is not understanding that.

I've seen this a handful of times JAE and I get what you are saying. But, when I've seen it, the women.....and yes, I am saying women, cause there were no men involved in the care of the children then......had no business taking another child in. They couldn't even support themselves or the ones already in their care.

The sense of responsibility is what it is. But, so is the economic and emotional issues attached to this. I agree, I would hate foster care. And, if that were the last resort, I would definately bite the bullet and take her in. But, if there is anyone else to care for the child, I would do exactly what is being proposed here.

Thanks JG you always understand me. There will be 2 kids added in the next 6 months. We are going to have to cut portions like crazy. Another child would just have to squeeze in but emotionally who could even do that equally in such a short time.

If there was no other way then I would get it in, but if we have options lets exercise them.

Does anyone know what kinds of test are done on the medical

here is the info ma

http://travel.state.gov/pdf/medical/KNG-MED-ENGL-0001-1002.pdf

http://travel.state.gov/visa/immigrants/info/info_3745.html

Edited May 28, 2010 by JQ Smiley BOOM

[JQ Smiley BOOM 3]

JQ, take your time and think about what is best for everyone in the situtation especially yourself. That is not being selfish!!!! You must know that is you wake up one morning and the baby have you down and out for the count that someone can take care of all those kids.

Take your time and decide, Granddaddy can do it !!!!

[Tosh Love 77]

I do not know what it is to walk in your shoes so cannot pass judgment on your decision.

In Jamaica, it would be a foregone conclusion that you would take the child. That is probably why your husband said he would take the child, in Jamaica, the question would even arise, it would be assumed that the child would be taken in.

I know you are saying that your daughter needs to adjust, but what is the alternative if no-one takes your niece? Foster care?

This is probably one of the biggest cultural difference between Americans and Jamaicans. Here, it's no biggie. The though is, well I can't be inconvenienced, so whle I'd like to take the child I can't. In Jamaica, there's a sense of responsibility, no matter how it is going to be worked out, it is going to have to be worked out.

Your husband is probably finding how you think incomprehensible right now because it is so far removed from what he would expect to do.

Hope you make the right decision.

I know this is not the same thing but this is a similar conversation that comes up on my unit. I work on a psychiatric unit and we have elderly dementia patients who end up on our floor with no one to take them in or even to visit them if they end up going to a nursing home even though they have children. Our physicians are mostly foreigners (like me) and cannot fathom this concept. They keep expecting family members to take in the elderly because that is what their culture dictates. It is sad, but true...Each man for himself and God for us all. I don't agree with this but I have come to expect it. To each hi/her own.

[NatPatBen 3]

Hello, everyone! I'm in New Orleans for my 10 yr high school reunion.

Just read the chat from today....

JQ, I COMPLETELY understand your wanting to exercise other options considering the major changes going on in your life right now with your husband still adjusting, daughter coming from JA, and baby on the way. That already sounds like you'll have a lot to handle physically, emotionally, and financially.

[My4rmylife 0]

Ok yesterday we did biometrics it took all of maybe 10 mins...the longest part was the 20 min drive there and the 20 min drive back.. then i track ym package at the post office RFE evidence was delivered yesterday i am so excited ..

[MRStee 19]

Good morning:

My3 thats great news! I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Nat, hope you had fun at your reunion!

Edited May 29, 2010 by MRStee

[kjenkins86 5]

KJ are you going to the Irie Jam Celebrity Soccer Match in Queens on Monday? I will be there. A mini yardie link up would be cool. I will be on Flatbush Ave all damn day Saturday. Im getting my nails, toes, brows, lashes & hair done.

No I'm not going mama...

Hey Sugar,

The baby is doing great thanks for asking , I just had another sonogram done yesterday and they said it is developing nicely, but the baby is stubborn wonder where it gets that from .

Nice to hear that the baby is doing well

Girl BOOM

My family feels that since I have a great income with my hubby and we have a house and some kids already we should take her. Im like hell to the no!!!!!!!!

My dad spoke to my hubby about it (behind my back ) and he said yes!

I told him do you remember that my baby is graduating the 1st of July and will need to be here in that month. \How can we take another child?

I feel that its going to be so different for her to adjust and understand whats going on and another child would just shadow that, because my family willbe coming to get my neice like she is a princess.

I dont want nothing to overshadow my baby coming. This is her time'

I asked my dad why can the take her??, my step mom works and he dont He is there all day

Dont forget im still working full time and so is my hubby. Thats alot

Hubby got pissed and said that if it was his brother daughter he would take her.

I said thats all fine and dandy, but Moy Moy need to adjust first then lets see what we are doing.

Im not even thinking of the baby in my stomach im just thinking of her right now.

My dad is in a good situation to take her right now.

maybe later we can take her but my dad has had custody of her before when my sister has cut up. and been in and out of jail.

I dont care of this sounds selfish, its overwhelming

NOT selfish at all, that would be alot of stress...

RIP Gary Coleman...

Ouch, didn't know he passed...

Why is most of the people in my office making jokes after they found out Gary Coleman died. Just for today cant they just resist the urge to make fun of the dead. KISSTEETH...All the short joes are not funny at all

Unfortunately he lived his life being a short person and will be remembered as such...Eventhough it shouldn't be made fun of..

well the doctor finally called me and said that the reason for the policy was in case someone no showed...she would waste 3 time slots. makes sense i guess. she said she would make an exception for me tho

Oh ok that makes sense but on the other hand if you have an 11 am appt, you're never seen at that time so what the heck...

[kjenkins86 5]

Sugar, sugar ... Nothing in this process is easy. We are still waiting on our AOS status.. People have come and gone all around us. One thing I see is when you take the approach like okay whatever happens happens, it lessens your worrying some. Just try to occupy yourself with other things so you don't think about it as much.. To tell you not to worry is useless... just stay busy mi friend... soon come...

keep busy is the best advice to give when dealing withthe frustrations of immigration!

Hello, everyone! I'm in New Orleans for my 10 yr high school reunion.

Just read the chat from today....

JQ, I COMPLETELY understand your wanting to exercise other options considering the major changes going on in your life right now with your husband still adjusting, daughter coming from JA, and baby on the way. That already sounds like you'll have a lot to handle physically, emotionally, and financially.

I hope you enjoyed

Ok yesterday we did biometrics it took all of maybe 10 mins...the longest part was the 20 min drive there and the 20 min drive back.. then i track ym package at the post office RFE evidence was delivered yesterday i am so excited ..

As for myself, me and G went to dorney park (an adventure park in pennslyvania) and he had so much he didn't wanna leave and was disappointed he didn't get to go on all the rides My feet hurts trying to keep up with him!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend yardies!

[MRStee 19]

Sounds like you guys had a great time KJ thats wonderful!

Have a great weekend everyone

[NatPatBen 3]

Hi, all. Hope you are enjoying the memorial day weekend.

The high school reunion was fun. We thought we'd only want to stay for an hour or so, but once we got there, we stayed until the end. I was surprised at how little peoples' appearances changed over the 10 years. Mostly just weight gain, lol.

As for myself, me and G went to dorney park (an adventure park in pennslyvania) and he had so much he didn't wanna leave and was disappointed he didn't get to go on all the rides My feet hurts trying to keep up with him!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend yardies!

Did you take pictures?

[kjenkins86 5]

Sounds like you guys had a great time KJ thats wonderful!

Have a great weekend everyone

Yes we did

Hi, all. Hope you are enjoying the memorial day weekend.

The high school reunion was fun. We thought we'd only want to stay for an hour or so, but once we got there, we stayed until the end. I was surprised at how little peoples' appearances changed over the 10 years. Mostly just weight gain, lol.

Did you take pictures?

Glad you had fun! Mine is in a few weeks but I doubt I'll be going *kiss teeth* I was 1 out of 5 african americans and those hispanics didn't care for us too much (staff and students)... I don't wanna end up going and don't understand what is being said.

Yes we did take pics and he was gonna post them on facebook but I told him he's addicted to facebook and he didn't post them...

I've got work to do, we did an assessment and it came out that I'm arrogant, controlling and lawd I'm so horrible I don't wanna say the rest...Lol...

Sooo all weekend I've been trying to be nice to him "honey" this and "sweetheart" that. It is fun now that I'm doing it but it hurt when he said in counseling that I tricked him b/c I was extra sweet in JA and now that I got him hooked I'm mean

[sugarapple 1]

Morning everyone on this bright Tuseday morning.