Mothers’ Day Dilemma…

[antda 13]

Hi Everyone,

Spring is here, and Mothers Day is coming up soon…

So the other day we were talking about how to celebrate such, and came across a few options. We couldnt figure out which one to do exactly, so we would need your help here to help us decide…..

Here are the Mothers that are involved too…

Mom/Mother-In-Law

Grandma/Grand-In-Law

Ant

Note: Everyone meeting together at the same time on that day is not an option, due to the health concerns of the elderly Mothers and cross-border (USA/Canada) traveling distances and time.

Option 1: Spend Mothers Day (Sunday) with all three of the mothers. Divide the time accordingly, into equal parts for the day.

Pro: Each Mother gets a few hours to spend on the actual day of Mothers Day

Con: Attention and time is divided, which may cause a problem there, as one or more Mothers might feel rushed there.

Option 2: Spend one entire day (Saturday) with one Mother. Spend another entire day (Sunday) with the second Mother. Spend another entire day (Monday) with the third Mother.

Pro: Each Mother gets an entire day to spend, with undivided intention.

Con: The meeting may or may not necessarily be on the actual day of Mothers Day, and the Mothers may have preferences being seen on the actual day instead.

Questions:

-What does Mothers Day mean to you and your family?

-How are you going to spend your Mothers Day?

-Which option should we choose? Option 1 or Option 2?

-Should one Mother be seen/given preference over another mother? Or should they all be treated equally, regardless of all factors; assuming that all the Mothers involved are nice and like spending time with family.

Any thoughts, ideas, suggestions, etc. would be greatly appreciated, as your input will be very helpful in deciding what we should do for that day.

Thank you.

Ant (+D+BabyA)

Edited April 25, 2010 by Ant+D+BabyA

[Rhiannercakes 14]

I don't think Mother's Day has really meant a whole lot in my family. I also can't go to Canada for it, so I'll probably just be sending a card.

And I'd go with option 2.

We'd usually spend most of a day with my dad's mom then most of another day with my mom's mom. I don't think it really needs to be celebrated on the EXACT day, just as long as you celebrate it, if it means alot to you/your family.

[Inky 1,110]

Mothers day I usually just give my adoptive mom flowers or a card and a painting I did. Its never really been anything special of me. My birth mom gave me up found me at 19 then ditched again lol. Not much for me to celebrate.

All your options will probably have some downside to it depending on how important that day is to the certain mother, I think option 2 is best though in my opinion cus that way each of them has a whole day to spend as " their day " maybe you can start a kind of new mothers day tradition with them that way too. Extent mothers day so each has their own mothers day.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Ant - where's Option #3 where you stay in bed and have breakfast served by D + Baby A?

I used to go over to my parents in the afternoon and the men in the family would cook and serve dinner for all the moms (me, my mum, and my grandma(s)). For about the last 13 of my own last 18 mother's days.....my daughter has made me some kind of special breakfast and usually something handmade as a gift. She's become very creative in the last few years(she's 18 now)...last year I had a lovely breakfast of heart-shaped pancakes and freshly made strawberry sauce along with coffee.

Option #2 sounds good, but how do you pick whose mother you'll do the 'real day' with?

My favourite memory: One of the very first mother's days my daughter was old enough to make something,she made me a peanut butter and banana sandwich with an inch or so of margarine on the one slice of bread

[darkchilde794 5]

Ant - where's Option #3 where you stay in bed and have breakfast served by D + Baby A?

YEAH!!! LOL!

Back home, we'd go to grandma's and spend time with mom and grandma -- not close to my dad's family at all. In fact, have not spoken to anyone including my biological father for 5 years

Hubby buys a gift and card to his mom (my MIL) and we normally all go to whichever family is holding a mother's day party. Typically it's in his paternal grandma's house.

My own family does not particularly celebrate it... but I do send my mom a super long letter (email or snail mail) about how grateful I am to have her

[Sprailenes 47]

Oh. My. God.

[TimandJoyce 1]

Ant - where's Option #3 where you stay in bed and have breakfast served by D + Baby A?

I heartily agree with this!! Which would also solve the problem in option #2 of who to spend time with on Sunday...aka MOTHER'S DAY!

I really suppose it would all depend on the other "mother's" and how they feel about such things. I really can't remember spending a whole day with mine, or my mother-in-law before.

My first marriage, both lived about 3 hours from us, and I really don't know what we did. Probably sent cards or just called. We would have been working so I doubt we would have gone up each year, but the times that we did...probably a lunch or something with both at the same time. (course, they lived in the same town) Other than that..it was ME getting spoiled!

Second marriage...same thing. This time we all lived in the same town, and my late husband wasn't close to his mom, but we may have taken her out occasionally. My sister and I usually took out our mom. My mom ended up with Alzheimer's and passed away in 2008. *and my son was old enough to spoil me!*

Third marriage: both our mothers are gone. Tim's mom passed in 2001. My son still lives in Canada, so I'll be batting my baby blues to have Tim take me out....

....not like that will be difficult!!

Hope you find a solution that works for you!

[zenaxe 22]

You have your work cut out for you ..then you get to do it again on Father's Day

[Peachey 10]

I'll be on my Honeymoon! woohoo.

My MIL seems to be very upset that neither of her children will be around on May 11th. I told her we'd do Mother's day when we get back.

I get to see my mom in a couple days and it's her bday on Thursday, so I think I'm going to do a double bday/mother's day thing with her that day. I always get my mom an object for her inanimate object garden for mother's day. This year she might get a turtle

[ashenflowers 5]

a) I think you're over-thinking it. lol

b) You are SUPER lucky to be close enough to all mothers involved to even have these options!

c) Spend as much time with the grandmom's as possible, since.. well... let's face it, they won't be around forever Morbid yes, but someone had to say it. lol

As for me, since there's no way I can go to Canada to see my mom *pout* I will have to just call her and mail her a card. We've ended up spending almost every Sunday with my husband's parents, so we will likely end up with them again. She gave us baskets of candy for Easter so we will probably refill them with stuff and regift them back to her. In Canada when my family was still all there we'd always get together... one year we had a picnic in the park. It was fantastic with all the trees blooming at the time.

[Danu 19]

I would pick number 2 if I could, because I know neither my mom or my MIL would care about doing it on the exact day. I would choose me as the person on mothers day as I'm a new mommy (well you are, I'm not ) and the other 2 would be thrilled to have me around for a day whenever. What I use to do was buy my mom a plant, flowers that she could either keep inside or plant outside because she liked that more than cut ones, and then I would make her dinner. This year I will probably just talk to her on Skype, maybe send her flowers if I can.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

to add to #3 - I think you should spend Mother's day being pampered (or at least not doing the usual mom stuff) and then celebrate with everyone else the week before or after

[Married2009 32]

When my son got married, there were also three mothers involved. Basically, we go for option #2. I told him that it doesn't matter to me if it's the exact day, and it works out fine. Her mother wouldn't care either, by the way. (Her mother's mother is the third one - and they can celebrate with both of them at the same time.)

Edited April 26, 2010 by Married2009

[Flames9_RN 358]

Mothers day,fathers day are just days created by the card and flower companies!! Celebrate the day any time 1 pleases!! lol

[antda 13]

Hi Everyone,

(sorry for the late reply, as my computer was having problems again...)

Nevertheless, thank you for all your helpful replies..

It was great too, to read about all your Mothers' Day stories, read about how you spent that special day with your loved ones. Awww.....

Well, based on your responses, and based on further discussion with all those involved my situation, we finally decided on:

Option 2: Spend one entire day (Saturday) with one ‘Mother’. Spend another entire day (Sunday) with the second ‘Mother’. Spend another entire day (Monday) with the third ‘Mother’.

We also decided that this was the fairest way too, as everyone would get their own "special day", and there would be undivided attention there, as I mentioned before about such...

Now the next question was: Who was going to get which day?...

So we talked about this further too...And we decided that....

Saturday: rainy/bad weather day...no plans....

Sunday: Mom/Mother-In-Law (as she wanted the actual day, regardless...)

Monday: Ant (I wanted the better weather day...)

Other day in May/June: Grandma/Grand-In-Law (day still pending..due to weather, travel expenses, and other concerns...)

Hopefully this year it will be a happy mothers day for everyone!

And may you enjoy your Mothers Day (and every day) with your mothers and loved ones too!

Happy Mothers Day to all you VJ mothers, mothers-to-be, and mother-like figures!!!

Ant

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