POST Conditions Removed - Fraud Discovered - What to do?

[thongd4me 69]

- that will help others help you - you can put in approximate dates but at least we can get an idea of your wife's immigration status.

Question - are you of Asian descent, or was her daughter obviously not yours from the beginning?

How to you plan to reveal your information to her?

In a confrontational way, or ask her "what do you suggest I do now?"

With confrontation, you will get one reaction only (combativeness) but

if you leave the door open a crack to make her think you might believe her,

she has to be a lot more careful in her response. It's your call whether to believe it or not.

Be prepared for waterworks and her swearing that she was raped or

totally broken from the kid's father. Obviously the burden of proof is on HER.

Did she KNOW she was pregnant when she met you? Do you care if so?

The whole crux of the matter is that trust was violated early on. She had

a duty to disclose which she conveniently ignored.

You said "What I am hearing..." - heard from where, from whom,

or is that just your own assessment and you have no other outside information,

other than the DNA test?

If she lied about something as important as the father of the kid, she

may also be lying about her reason for going back to China. Can you

be sure to get a reliable answer after the lie is exposed, or just more lies?

What are your feelings about the daughter? Obviously you have played the role

of a father for 100% of her life. Did she bring her daughter to China? DNA testing

can be done with collected genetic material where the subject doesn't need

to be present.

How has your relationship been with her family, cold, cordial & correct, or warm & friendly?

Do you think they are hiding something or has someone in her family revealed

something that could no longer be ignored?

In the meantime, go to a family lawyer and contact ICE, as recommended by others.

[JohnAnwesha 4]

I feel for you WorldTraveller.So sorry that you are having to go through this.

First of all,if these issues are eating you from inside and getting in the way of your being happy,you should consider divorce soon.

Tthe other members have already posted very helpful advises.

Right now you need to consider the more tricky issues of child support ,so do contact a family lawyer in my opinion.

Wish you strength to get over this.

Anwesha

[thongd4me 69]

You are dealing with two different issues:

1) your marriage and your (wife's) daughter

2) your wife's immigration

1) If you feel betrayed to a point that you don't want to continue this marriage, file for divorce. Contest fatherhood to the girl with DNA proof that you can't be the father, although in some States, the husband of a couple receiving a child is legally the father anyway. I don't know Illinois divorce law, so I don't know if they have fault/no fault divorces.

First and foremost, however, you should take to your wife in a calm manner to find out her side of the story.

2) Immigration wise, you have suspicion but really no case that your wife has committed immigration fraud. You can spend a lot of time building a case, writing letters and so on, but it will eat you up from the inside out and most likely lead to nothing.

1) You, being the "monied" spouse may very likely be obliged to pay her maintenance & support even if everything was her fault.

Modern divorce law tends to sidestep issues of "fault" and adhere to a notion of "equitable distribution."

This will vary from state to state.

2) The case for immigration fraud would cast the burden of proof in YOUR direction; in other words, you would have to

prove that she lied & deceived you and she could say she told the truth but you conveniently forgot it.

[thongd4me 69]

1) You, being the "monied" spouse may very likely be obliged to pay her maintenance & support even if everything was her fault.

Modern divorce law tends to sidestep issues of "fault" and adhere to a notion of "equitable distribution."

This will vary from state to state....

The government isn't stupid. They know if one of the parties to the divorce has money, it's better that party

pay for the upkeep of the one with no money instead of the "unmonied" ex-spouse becoming a public charge.

[BinhJerome 14]

Asking for help on such a touchy subject will warrant many responses, most of which are good and valueable and others not so much, but as most of the people said first things first, there might be a logical reason to this, or she might have done it on purpose. You first should talk to her about it, and DNA tests are not 100% but they are very and I mean VERY accurate, but there is still room for error, case in point I have a friend that had a baby, she was with only one man the entire time, I know this because we were best friends, and the DNA test showed the father was not the father, at least the first one did, but the second one proved that he was, so mistakes can happen, maybe one in one million, but it can and does happen. So if I were in your shoes, I would confront her, but not in a mean way, just talk to her about what you suspect, and let her know the facts, you did/do love her or you would never have married her, maybe she caught wind of your doubts and is now worried you will leave her, or maybe it is what you think, first and foremost talk to her, let her know what you know and ask her what is going on. If she is Asian then she is probably very sensitive, as my wife is, and if you say the wrong thing, even with out meaning a bad thing, just making a point it can offend her, and this can cause some distance. She might be honest with you and tell you it was all a big scam on you, or that it was a mistake, who knows, but if it was a scam on her part, then it is time to part ways, maybe you can talk to her about it where she would not try to make you support her as in your affidavit of support you signed when you brought her over here, maybe she does not like it here and wants to go home, there are tons and tons of things that could be going on, so I would stop wasting time about what if, and what should I do and start talking to her and not everyone else. This way you might find out what is really going on, then people might be able to give you really good advice instead of the generic responses, talk to ICE or get a family lawyer asap. The ultimate choice is yours, if you love her and she does love you isnt it worth fighting for?? Jerome

[thongd4me 69]

Many good points Jerome.

To the OP, be very careful how you handle this.

Many many years ago before I met my Japanese ex-wife,

I was teaching English (as a hobby, not paid) to a class of

mostly Asians in NYC.

On one Friday night, I was teaching a class in a public area

of the international club that I belonged to. I had planned

a date with one of the girls in my class (which was not frowned

upon because I was a volunteer and she was of legal age).

Suddenly, another female acquaintance came out of nowhere

and started getting very flirty with me. I responded politely

but wanted to get back to the class. When I did the girl I

had a date with was fuming, steaming and irate.

She had decided that the sudden guest and I were a hot item.

Not only was our date off, but she refused to speak to me

at all from then on. I can't say if that was a major regret

because we were also acquaintances and had no relationship

to speak of. I guess I'll never know. As for the one that was

very flirty, I was in no way interested in her at any time,

before or since.

Lesson learned:

Asian women are very sensitive.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

You might seek out the member Diadramous Mermaid regarding the possibility of lifting your obligations under the I864 if immigration fraud can be proven.

[Lucky couple 1]

Hello,

I have uncovered that my wife had commited Adultry while she was married to me in China, K3 VISA was approved, Conditions removed in December 2009 and a daughter born in the US as the result.

Here is a brief timeline. Sorry I cannot write much now as this eating me inside and out. I don't believe she is aware what I already know and I am just playing the game until I am ready to act.

We were married in March 2006 and I petitioned her under the K3 process. Her K3 was eventually approved and she arrived in the US in May 2007. We had a daughter about 6 months after she arrived. If I count the timeline of when my daughter was born, it would have fallen somewhere in that time frame I was there so I didn't think much of it. Of course, the adultry had taken place during that time frame. Going through the whole K3 process she received the Pernament Resident Card this past December 2009. She went back to China recently in March 2010 but she seemed to be different person which came back which made me suspicious. This led me to finally have a basic DNA test performed which turned to negative, I NOT being the father.

What I am hearing she married me to get the greend card, eventually citizenship so she can divorce me and petition the real father over.

Would Immigration see this marriage as a fraud? What are still my obligations? I am the process of getting the required evidence (and getting another DNA test for court/Immigration admissible evidence) and divorce but what about Immigration? I want to be as ready legally as possible before I do my reveal.

I live in the state of Illinois so if anyone has suggestions on what I should be doing or not, please post it here.

Thanks all in advance,

Burnt heart!

I am so so sorry for ur hurt and one can only imagine ur heartbreak etc. I how ever urge u not to react simply in anger and with the intent to hurt back. Talk to ur wife and find out the truth from her. There is cheating in lots of relationships and some still find forgiveness and continue to survive. The fact that ur wife cheated on u does not mean she does not love u or want to be with the other guy.Human relationship is complex and not set in stone. Secondly ur daughter should not be ur daughter only because the has ur DNA. I believe u had a father/daughter relationship with this kid before u found out she is not yours. You must know that she can still be yours if only you let it be.What are u gonna tell the little girl when u send her out of your life without child surpport? you should not be asking for advice here but u should be asking God to heal ur hurt and help u make the right decision. Dont leave ur wife. work things out and you can find forgiveness and thus happiness even after all this.It takes a STRONG man to forgive and even u can be that strong person. dont listen to what people are expected to do in ur situation but try the unexpected and see that you are STRONG!! good luck

[thongd4me 69]

Lesson learned:

Asian women are very sensitive.

I should have omitted that comment; anyone can be sensitive of any race or sex.

I just didn't want the OP to come out with guns blazing but proceed with caution

and never stop listening, even if he's not being listened to.

The feelings and lives of more than one person are at stake and the situation may not be 100% crystal clear.

[thongd4me 69]

I am so so sorry for ur hurt and one can only imagine ur heartbreak etc. I how ever urge u not to react simply in anger and with the intent to hurt back. Talk to ur wife and find out the truth from her. There is cheating in lots of relationships and some still find forgiveness and continue to survive. The fact that ur wife cheated on u does not mean she does not love u or want to be with the other guy.Human relationship is complex and not set in stone. Secondly ur daughter should not be ur daughter only because the has ur DNA. I believe u had a father/daughter relationship with this kid before u found out she is not yours. You must know that she can still be yours if only you let it be.What are u gonna tell the little girl when u send her out of your life without child surpport?

you should not be asking for advice here but u should be asking God to heal ur hurt and help u make the right decision. Dont leave ur wife. work things out and you can find forgiveness and thus happiness even after all this.It takes a STRONG man to forgive and even u can be that strong person. dont listen to what people are expected to do in ur situation but try the unexpected and see that you are STRONG!! good luck

At first, you must separate your feelings for your daughter and the feelings for your wife

and then see if you can find it in your heart to re-integrate them if that is possible.

The visa fraud case may be very weak because the DNA test only proves the lack of a genetic link,

it doesn't prove INTENT. She can easily sidestep the fraud charge by saying she told you

she was pregnant and it's her word against yours. You may have no documentation of that.

The supreme court or family court in your state will most likely assign maintenance and support

with a view to who has the money vs. who needs the money (equitable distribution), not by

who is at fault or not, so if you hope to get out of the marriage as if it didn't happen,

I think your chances are slim. Also, the court does NOT rule on the basis of immigration status.

When I divorced my Japanese wife she had a 10 year green card. With 20-20 hindsight I could have

called that visa fraud, but that would never have held water, especially after we had 2 children together.

If a man is a victim of psychological abuse that's what the legal system calls a "victimless crime."