monthly support from fiance

[ellmoi 0]

hi everyone, just want to ask if it's ok to ask for monthly support from your fiance or just wait for him to send voluntarily? or just wait for him to realize it's a responsibility or is it a responsibility really for a fiance to give monthly support? - aix

your fiance has no legal obligation to support you financially. after all, you are not married yet. you, better than anyone else here, would know if he is able to do so. think long and hard before asking him about such as his reaction to that might be far less than pleasant.

ok thanks for your advice, i appreciate it..

Since this is relationship advice rather than visa advice you are seeking, I recommend you post your question on one of the following forums:

http://www.theworldoffilipinas.com/forum/

http://www.mybnn.net/forum

http://www.cebuliving.com/forums/index.php

ok i will thank you..

[jo&john 1]

The cultural norm is that a respectable woman would never ask for money in this situation. There are sadly, however, many there with questionable morals who are all about money and not relationship.

Yes...there are those with questionable morals...who are all about money and not relationship...but i think this is global and not just happening in the Philippines...

But all i can say at this point... I AM PROUD TO BE A FILIPINA!

Let us all join our hands together as we go through our peaks and valleys in this visa journey with one goal in mind: be with our loved ones and maintain and sustain a strong, harmonious and loving relationship. We need each other's support...and more power to the VJ family!

To all and especially to my kababayans (fellowmen), God bless and MABUHAY!

Jo

[Donna A 4]

hey u guys...im a little shot of cash these days...can u send me monthly support?

this reminds me of my husbands ex wife. before they married she called my husband and informed him how rude his mother is. telling him that ur mom came to visit me today and didnt even bring me a gift. he should have ran then.

after they got married she told him im a beautiful woman and i deserve the best of everything and if u dont get it for me then i will cause u many financial problems.

that marriege didnt last long.

[Nikita2Charles 32]

It's a tough situation, but to ask for money upfront is sending out a wrong impression to your fiance. He doesn't have NO OBLIGATION to support you since you are not his wife yet, but that say if he comes over and see your financial situation he can help you somehow to ease your current financial situation IF HE CAN AFFORD IT. Knowing that you should ask yourself a few questions.

When you move to the states to be with your fiance, you won't be able to work for awhile, IF your family is depending on your as the source of income, it's something you should sit down with your fiancee and talk about it, Finance is part of the relationship also, These matter need to be discuss upfront so your fiance know what he's getting into.

Once you move here, do you plan to work, do you plan to stay at home and have kids? If you are the one in your country that's supporting your family how will that affect them, It won't make sense if you are living here and they are struggling back home. But by then you will be His wife, and He will look after your well being because whether he likes it or not he's Part of your family now.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

hi everyone, just want to ask if it's ok to ask for monthly support from your fiance or just wait for him to send voluntarily? or just wait for him to realize it's a responsibility or is it a responsibility really for a fiance to give monthly support? - aix

First, I’m not surprised at all by your questions.

It seems to me that a fiancé (especially one who will be responsible for supporting his wife, such as in your apparent case) should know enough about the current financial standing of his future bride to be able to identify whether or not she needs support. For me, any such support would be based on necessity.

How would I feel if after my future bride arrived in the USA I found out that she and her kids were struggling every day to find the smallest of comforts, because I was too blind to find out about their living conditions? How would I feel if after my future bride arrived in the USA I found out that she had been married 6 times before and has 7 kids, because I was too blind to find out? If either of these happened, I would feel awfully sorry about it.

What surprises me is all the mockery that has been written in this thread. It looks like a lot of cynical people enjoy trying to teach you a lesson, as if they have any good answers.

Maybe you can explain your financial conditions to your fiancé. Hopefully, he will be able to help you in some way, whether through better financial planning or through actual financial support. If he is not willing to help you in some way, then maybe “that” is a red flag that he is not capable of supporting you in the future.

Finally something meaningful and helpful to the OP.

The cultural norm is that a respectable woman would never ask for money in this situation. There are sadly, however, many there with questionable morals who are all about money and not relationship.

Yes...there are those with questionable morals...who are all about money and not relationship...but i think this is global and not just happening in the Philippines...

But all i can say at this point... I AM PROUD TO BE A FILIPINA!

Let us all join our hands together as we go through our peaks and valleys in this visa journey with one goal in mind: be with our loved ones and maintain and sustain a strong, harmonious and loving relationship. We need each other's support...and more power to the VJ family!

To all and especially to my kababayans (fellowmen), God bless and MABUHAY!

Jo

Amen

[Henia 11]

Huh? Could you give us alittle more to go on here?

[Kajikit 65]

Neither partner has any 'responsibility' to financially support the other just because they're engaged. That responsibility doesn't kick in until the overseas party has given up their job, home, most of their posessions, and their country for the sake of the marriage, and has (or is about to) say 'I do'. At that point the USC had darned well better be ready and willing to support them... but if you're living in your home country then theoretically you should still be able to support yourself - otherwise what were you living on before you got engaged?

[jordanianprincess 0]

I am not sure what the OP intentions were nor do I want to judge her. But somethings have been posted here about her english and the words she used. This reminded me of something. If she is living in the phillapines then enlish is her second language. If she is anything like my fiance who also speals english fluently then the problem with her post could be the words she picked.

Quite often my fiance and I used to fight because of things he would say to me. What we both later realized was that in his thought process he thinks of something he wants to say in arabic and then translates in into english. The problem is when you translate it, you lose alot in the translation and what you say could end up meaning something else. This could be how she came up with the word "responsibility", maybe in Tagalan, its another word, and for lack of a better word she used that one?

[iceyspots 0]

[mrc 0]

My fiance is from the PI and has never asked me for money...not even when her mother passed away in December.

I have no problems sending her money and buying her things though. I do it all the time. I appreciate the fact that she doesn't ask, but if she did ask, I would really know she needed it. Then again, I lived with my fiance and have been with her over seven months now, so our situation may be a little different than the OP.

[Sinergy 3]

I didnt realize that being engaged enabled you to become responsible of monthly support for your fiance.

[Ban Hammer 13,508]

I didnt realize that being engaged enabled you to become responsible of monthly support for your fiance.

maybe he can claim her on his taxes somehow

[almaty 19]

yeap..he needs to send you 20% what he makes right now...

i think that is the same as alimony in some states

[Sinergy 3]

yeap..he needs to send you 20% what he makes right now...

i think that is the same as alimony in some states

Well i hope my husband dont get wind of this and sue me for back fiance support

[Ban Hammer 13,508]

yeap..he needs to send you 20% what he makes right now...

i think that is the same as alimony in some states

Well i hope my husband dont get wind of this and sue me for back fiance support