monthly support from fiance

[Veiled Princess 1]

If you were married already I could see you asking for support BUT as a fiance I really don't see how you can think it's his "responsibility" to you.

[john_and_marlene 162]

So it's definately not part of the culture?

I mean, there are some cultures where you have to pay the family of the bride if you want to marry her....

The cultural norm is that a respectable woman would never ask for money in this situation. There are sadly, however, many there with questionable morals who are all about money and not relationship.

I am a member of various Philippine message forums and this topic has been discussed on all of them. This poster would be crucified on any of them.

[ellmoi 0]

If you were married already I could see you asking for support BUT as a fiance I really don't see how you can think it's his "responsibility" to you.

hmm ok, thanks for ur kool opinion

[CarolineM 0]

if you ask for advice on a public forum, don't be sarcastic if you get advice you don't like...

Just FYI.

[ellmoi 0]

if you ask for advice on a public forum, don't be sarcastic if you get advice you don't like...

Just FYI.

who's been sarcastic? me? LOL

[workin4somethin 0]

hi everyone, just want to ask if it's ok to ask for monthly support from your fiance or just wait for him to send voluntarily? or just wait for him to realize it's a responsibility or is it a responsibility really for a fiance to give monthly support? - aix

First, I’m not surprised at all by your questions.

It seems to me that a fiancé (especially one who will be responsible for supporting his wife, such as in your apparent case) should know enough about the current financial standing of his future bride to be able to identify whether or not she needs support. For me, any such support would be based on necessity.

How would I feel if after my future bride arrived in the USA I found out that she and her kids were struggling every day to find the smallest of comforts, because I was too blind to find out about their living conditions? How would I feel if after my future bride arrived in the USA I found out that she had been married 6 times before and has 7 kids, because I was too blind to find out? If either of these happened, I would feel awfully sorry about it.

What surprises me is all the mockery that has been written in this thread. It looks like a lot of cynical people enjoy trying to teach you a lesson, as if they have any good answers.

Maybe you can explain your financial conditions to your fiancé. Hopefully, he will be able to help you in some way, whether through better financial planning or through actual financial support. If he is not willing to help you in some way, then maybe “that” is a red flag that he is not capable of supporting you in the future.

[CarolineM 0]

Hmmm, ok. Thanks for ur kool reply.

[john_and_marlene 162]

if you ask for advice on a public forum, don't be sarcastic if you get advice you don't like...

Just FYI.

The warm fuzzy brigade may be along at any moment to give well wishes and friendly support. I guess they sleep in late on Fridays.

[ellmoi 0]

Hmmm, ok. Thanks for ur kool reply.

no i like her reply, did u see smiley at the end? it's helpful advice for me, really.. i don't care about other posts i'm here to read and retain what is helpful to me.. ok? peace..

[vartan 0]

haha .. nice reply.. But there was some truth in there.. I send my fiance money each month but because I want to .. because I want her to buy the things she wants/etc .. But she knows the pinch I have right now putting through the paperwork saving for the visa and the plane ticket etc. I don't see any way this could be turned to the US fiance they have been engaged for just days .. how could lifestyle change in that time??

[sbgwolf1 0]

The warm fuzzy brigade may be along at any moment to give well wishes and friendly support. I guess they sleep in late on Fridays.

Warm fuzzy brigade??? I think they are still and at a loss for words

[ellmoi 0]

hi everyone, just want to ask if it's ok to ask for monthly support from your fiance or just wait for him to send voluntarily? or just wait for him to realize it's a responsibility or is it a responsibility really for a fiance to give monthly support? - aix

First, I’m not surprised at all by your questions.

It seems to me that a fiancé (especially one who will be responsible for supporting his wife, such as in your apparent case) should know enough about the current financial standing of his future bride to be able to identify whether or not she needs support. For me, any such support would be based on necessity.

How would I feel if after my future bride arrived in the USA I found out that she and her kids were struggling every day to find the smallest of comforts, because I was too blind to find out about their living conditions? How would I feel if after my future bride arrived in the USA I found out that she had been married 6 times before and has 7 kids, because I was too blind to find out? If either of these happened, I would feel awfully sorry about it.

What surprises me is all the mockery that has been written in this thread. It looks like a lot of cynical people enjoy trying to teach you a lesson, as if they have any good answers.

Maybe you can explain your financial conditions to your fiancé. Hopefully, he will be able to help you in some way, whether through better financial planning or through actual financial support. If he is not willing to help you in some way, then maybe “that” is a red flag that he is not capable of supporting you in the future.

thank you so much, i appreciate your advice.. finally someone is making sense.. .. goodluck to you..

[CarolineM 0]

well if your reply wasn't sarcastic....and I replied with the SAME reply - then neither was mine...

so what's the big deal.

PEACE!

[rebelheart 0]

hi everyone, just want to ask if it's ok to ask for monthly support from your fiance or just wait for him to send voluntarily? or just wait for him to realize it's a responsibility or is it a responsibility really for a fiance to give monthly support? - aix

ellmoi aka aixaix,

a simple advise .... "first impression last" , you cant buy TRUST when you failed, by commtting DISHONESTY.

godbless!

[PlatyPius 5]

I don't care if she DOES need it or not. That isn't the issue. The issue was that the initial post made it sound as if it were expected, common, and a requirement, really. How could someone NOT think that it was all about the money when she's already asking how she should go about it? If Sian needed money, I would send it to her. She would never ask, however. Until she's here, it's still "her money" and "my money". And before anyone thinks that's a crappy way for me to think.... she makes over double what I do.