monthly support from fiance

[vartan 0]

ohhh hehehe sorry there are some of us in the chat.. and was just telling gary how I saw luz's name on here.. and then she posted.

[Melo 1]

Geezer and Steve I thank you for giving us this understanding of the Phillipines. It merely re-confirms the point I was trying to make which is that we should not be so quick to judge.

I must tell you what my Paul said after reading this thread: he said that anyone who is applying for a fiance visa could be in that same situation... so by calling someone a gold-digger after a green-card so on and so forth... and just coz someone has a fiance from the west does not indicate that they are not after the green-card... so think before you say something... who knows the situation could apply to you too.

[babybunny 2]

Shon, sending money to your fiancee is NOT a black mark against getting her visa approved, nor is it an indication of fraud whatsoever! Where are you coming from?

.... I hope you remain clear on your stance when interview time is here..

Honestly, I think you're misrepresenting the facts. Why not ask any of the VJ members here who went through the interview process in Manila? Not only that...how has this come to be about my circumstances? Do you even KNOW my circumstances? Jinky has a doctorate in dentistry and runs her own clinic. I have sent her money but that doesn't make our relationship fraudulent in any way and for you to suggest that it will in the eyes of the CO is outrageous! But keep up with the stereotypes - it shows your own personal prejudice.

your assuming I am having personal prejudice. I also seen this process in other ways than YOU! I know

how the CO is, know how the USICS adjudicatior is too. you have YET to experiance it. Life really dont spin around VJ. sorry but, it dont. btw, when you use the words Sterotype and Prejudice! know whom you are talking to ok -buddy!

Edited August 7, 2006 by babybunny

[Artegal 1]

it does not matter if there are any more replies in this thread I won't read them, I just end up scrolling to post number 386.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Shon, sending money to your fiancee is NOT a black mark against getting her visa approved, nor is it an indication of fraud whatsoever! Where are you coming from?

.... I hope you remain clear on your stance when interview time is here..

Honestly, I think you're misrepresenting the facts. Why not ask any of the VJ members here who went through the interview process in Manila? Not only that...how has this come to be about my circumstances? Do you even KNOW my circumstances? Jinky has a doctorate in dentistry and runs her own clinic. I have sent her money but that doesn't make our relationship fraudulent in any way and for you to suggest that it will in the eyes of the CO is outrageous! But keep up with the stereotypes - it shows your own personal prejudice.

your assuming I am having personal prejudice. I also seen this process in other ways than YOU! I know

how the CO is, know how the USICS adjudicatior is too. you have YET to experiance it. Life really dont spin around VJ. sorry but, it dont. btw, when you use the words Sterotype and Prejudice! know whom you are talking to ok -buddy!

Shon, I have no doubt about that, but that doesn't mean you've got the inside scoop on the Manila Embassy or know what kinds of questions the CO is going to be asking at the interview. I have read forums where people described the interview process there and you're the first person that even suggested sending money would possibly send a red flag to the CO. I would imagine that a lot factors are taken into consideration and perhaps if there is reasonable suspicion that the relationship is fraudulent, that might be an issue. But outside of any other suspicious factors - sending money alone is not nor should it be a problem. You're insistence that sending money other than for family emergencies as suspect of fraud plays up to the stereotype. Jinky works in her clinic 7 days a week, but sometimes she doesn't have enough patients to pay her rent for the clinic and I voluntarily help her out. She even started selling a beauty product on the side to supplement income. I understand the concern that financial dependence can influence a relationship, but at some point you've got to trust your instincts and do what you feel is right. I feel it's right for me to help her, but I don't feel obligated. I've already had to deal with the stereotype of Americano 'buying' his Filipina bride with others - it's disheartening to find it here on VJ where if anything we should all be sympathetic to such prejudice.

it does not matter if there are any more replies in this thread I won't read them, I just end up scrolling to post number 386.

She makes her enemy's legs get all wobbley.

[LuzyC 0]

Shon, sending money to your fiancee is NOT a black mark against getting her visa approved, nor is it an indication of fraud whatsoever! Where are you coming from?

.... I hope you remain clear on your stance when interview time is here..

Honestly, I think you're misrepresenting the facts. Why not ask any of the VJ members here who went through the interview process in Manila? Not only that...how has this come to be about my circumstances? Do you even KNOW my circumstances? Jinky has a doctorate in dentistry and runs her own clinic. I have sent her money but that doesn't make our relationship fraudulent in any way and for you to suggest that it will in the eyes of the CO is outrageous! But keep up with the stereotypes - it shows your own personal prejudice.

your assuming I am having personal prejudice. I also seen this process in other ways than YOU! I know

how the CO is, know how the USICS adjudicatior is too. you have YET to experiance it. Life really dont spin around VJ. sorry but, it dont. btw, when you use the words Sterotype and Prejudice! know whom you are talking to ok -buddy!

Shon, I have no doubt about that, but that doesn't mean you've got the inside scoop on the Manila Embassy or know what kinds of questions the CO is going to be asking at the interview. I have read forums where people described the interview process there and you're the first person that even suggested sending money would possibly send a red flag to the CO. I would imagine that a lot factors are taken into consideration and perhaps if there is reasonable suspicion that the relationship is fraudulent, that might be an issue. But outside of any other suspicious factors - sending money alone is not nor should it be a problem. You're insistence that sending money other than for family emergencies as suspect of fraud plays up to the stereotype. Jinky works in her clinic 7 days a week, but sometimes she doesn't have enough patients to pay her rent for the clinic and I voluntarily help her out. She even started selling a beauty product on the side to supplement income. I understand the concern that financial dependence can influence a relationship, but at some point you've got to trust your instincts and do what you feel is right. I feel it's right for me to help her, but I don't feel obligated. I've already had to deal with the stereotype of Americano 'buying' his Filipina bride with others - it's disheartening to find it here on VJ where if anything we should all be sympathetic to such prejudice.

Steven..

Never argue with an IDIOT,other people might not know the difference!!

Say hello to your guapa wonderwoman for me..

Ingat!

it does not matter if there are any more replies in this thread I won't read them, I just end up scrolling to post number 386.

She makes her enemy's legs get all wobbley.

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

Lets turn the tables a bit shall we? Now, I have read Robert's answers and I can see where he is coming from in regards to this OP being a possible fraud, and I have read Steven's rebuttle. I can honestly say that both of you have very valid points. When I was a kid, my parents lived in the Philipenes as they were stationed there in while in the Navy. I do know that the Phillipenoes love Americans...especially ones with blonde hair and blue eyes. I think that they are fascinated by our culture and our country as a whole. Does that mean that they are all frauds?? No. But, the red flag does have to go up on this particular case. Something just isn't sitting right in my mind about this OP. I could be wrong and if someday I am proven to be wrong, then I will put my hands up and publicly appologise.

Now, turning the tables. What do you call it when the foreigner gives the USC money for help? Ian sent me money. Not all the time. And I am only talking money to pay for the latter half of my plane ticket, and money for phone cards (because you can only purchase these cards online and while in america. for 20 us dollars you got 1500 minutes of talk time),. Even though that was the extent of what he was sending me, does that mean that I was using him? When I first met Ian, I was living off money I recieved in my divorce which wasn't much at all for the length of time I was married, and my grant money for college (what was left after paying for tuition and books), and I was getting unemployment benefits(which ran out shortly after meeting him.) Does all of this mean that I used Ian? I may be comparing apples to oranges...but then again in the bigger picture...am I?

Some could quite come to their own conclusions that Ian is using me as he once told me before that he always wanted to live in America. If anyone said that, I would have to turn around and tell them that they have no clue to even be able to come to that conclusion just on that one comment alone. Anyone that knows Ian would always say that that is a very big step for him to just be using me to come to America. Meaning, Ian would NEVER get married just to get something other than a wife that he loves and adores. Ian is the type of person who is honest to a fault if you can understand that. He thinks about EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING and will rethink it again and again before he makes any moves.

When I left my ex, the money that I got was from the sale of our house and like I said, it was very little. You are talking 7,000 dollars here which doesn't get you far when you have to buy a car, pay rent, pay for utilities, etc. I left with NOTHING because I wanted NOTHING. Ian knows this. I hate money. Really I do. I went from having nothing prior to my mother meeting my step dad...when i say nothing..i mean NOTHING..to then having anything and everything I could ever want. I saw the change in my mother big time. She got nasty and greedy. I even signed a pre nupt before I got married to Ian. Why? Because I wanted him to know that I wasn't in anything for money.

This whole topic is very broad. There are so many ways of looking at it. Maybe I got OT here but I think if you read between the lines, you can understand what I am trying to say here. I respect a lot of ppl on this forum. I respect the ppl like Karo, LisaD, and anyone else that says it like it is. I wish sometimes I could be like that because trust me, there have been plenty of times on here where I just want to give it right back to ppl on here, but then my concious gets a hold and I back down lol. I also respect the level headedness of RObert, and the wittyness of Almaty and Pedroh, and so on..As for you Steven, yes you make valid points, but I am still up in the air on you..lol I can't quite figure you out yet...dont take it the wrong way...I like the challenge.

Anyway...just more of my two cents worth.

LJ

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

it does not matter if there are any more replies in this thread I won't read them, I just end up scrolling to post number 386.

LMFAO!!!!!!! I just scrolled to that post...you DIRTY BOY lol...ohhhhh the mental images going in my head now of what you could POSSIBLY be doing lol...

[sbgwolf1 0]

one point. He has already visited her. He would know (one would hope) her situation and whether or not she should 'need' money. At least if they were open with each other. He should have seen her lifestyle and known what conditions she lives in. Help is voluntary not required or a right. The fact that she is now a 'fiancee' doesn't ENTITLE her, but he may WANT to help...

[Melo 1]

I believe that the OP was trying to find out whether it is the norm...

You know in India it is the norm to provide a dowry (no matter that it is illegal for the bloke's family to make demands)... so let's say my Paul wants to know more about it and posts a question about dowry - would that make him a gold-digger???

Also, we need to take into consideration the fact that though many may speak English rather well there are nuances to the language that they don't pick up and therefore phrase a question in a manner which may imply something quite different from what was intended.

[CarolineM 0]

I just think ppl are entitled to differing opinions. Her question was answered earnestly by plenty of ppl - including those of phill. descent...so it's not like she was ignored or NO ONE answered her. I'm all about being understanding but I also believe in freedom of speech and beliefs. We can't TELL ppl what to think and what to say.

I am glad you are expressing your opinion....as for being understanding to ALL on VJ - what was your take on that wife/GF post? Should we include that? But what if it's cultural!! He's from India - so we should take that into considertaion?

Just wondering where we draw the line.

[Ban Hammer 13,512]

I just think ppl are entitled to differing opinions. Her question was answered earnestly by plenty of ppl - including those of phill. descent...so it's not like she was ignored or NO ONE answered her. I'm all about being understanding but I also believe in freedom of speech and beliefs. We can't TELL ppl what to think and what to say.

I am glad you are expressing your opinion....as for being understanding to ALL on VJ - what was your take on that wife/GF post? Should we include that? But what if it's cultural!! He's from India - so we should take that into considertaion?

Just wondering where we draw the line.

ooo ooo ooo i know the answer!

where to draw the line

[moelarrycheese 0]

Attention, Dude in the rickshaw-- run far, run fast

[Fandango 1,440]

Attention, Dude in the rickshaw-- run far, run fast

Hey your nick means 'only me and you' how cool

see, I didnt' take 4 yrs of Spanish for nowt,

[Jenn! 918]

Why is it that having some measure of tact has now been labeled as "Sunshine and rainbows?" Sounds to me like an attempt to exaggerate in order to make those who enjoy speaking harshly sound more reasonable. I just don't understand how some people are proud of their lack of tact.